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Most awkward thing that occured during sex/play time

nygiants1313

nygiants1313

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 22, 2014
Messages
589
As the title states.

Anyone yell out the wrong name?
Anyone fart or shyt during 69?
Getting poop on the dick during anal?
Falling off bed breaking something?
Wrong person walking in on you?
Getting dumped right after sex?
Straight guys Penises accidently touching in a 3 some?
Unexpected squirting?

These are some examples and im sure there are countless funny stories from people on here.

Lets here em!!

I guess ill start. A girl was going hard sucking me off and one second she pulled my cock out of her mouth and smiled she was missing a front tooth. I was like hellll no

I guess she had caps or just had work done or something and it wasnt done right and it popped out. Ive never seen someone get so embarassed she mafe me go home she was crying so much.

My boner was quickly killed at this time anyway so i was happy to leave
 
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We were visiting my girlfriends parents house, and we fucked on her period and forgot to clean the sheets only for her mom to find them the next day. We were in our mid-twenties. smh

Having sex with my highschool girlfriend in my room when my parents were not home and I had sliding doors rather than hinged doors and after we were done we noticed that the door had been open. Turns out my mom had saw, possibly looked a bit too long, and then told me I was grounded for having sex lol. Thanks mom, but I was 15.

Same thing happened to me with her at her place but instead of it being a mom, it was her dad. I actually saw him quietly open the door a few inches and peek in and we made eye contact while I had his daughter from behind. We were 15/16 so I obviously booked it as fast as I could putting my clothes on while I ran to my car. I ended up taking her to the skatepark with me because she was too embarrassed to be in the house with her dad that afternoon.
 
Had sex in the sorta dark in a really nice hotel in Whistler. After we were done and turned on the lights it looked like someone sacrificed a goat. There was fucking blood everywhere. Walls, bedstand, sheets, comforter pillows, light switch. The wife wasnt aware her period ad started LOL.
 
I don't really have any awkward stories from the bedroom (fortunately), but it is always a bit awkward loudly queefing in front of somebody/in somebody's face for the first time because not all men can distinguish the difference between a queef and a fart...
 
samnslumberland said:
I don't really have any awkward stories from the bedroom (fortunately), but it is always a bit awkward loudly queefing in front of somebody/in somebody's face for the first time because not all men can distinguish the difference between a queef and a fart...
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I think a lot of men still dont believe women fart let alone poop haha but thanks for the honesty it made me lol
 
wallywogs said:
Had sex in the sorta dark in a really nice hotel in Whistler. After we were done and turned on the lights it looked like someone sacrificed a goat. There was fucking blood everywhere. Walls, bedstand, sheets, comforter pillows, light switch. The wife wasnt aware her period ad started LOL.
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Lulz the sex on a period can really make a room look like a murder scene haha
 
dimensiontripping said:
We were visiting my girlfriends parents house, and we fucked on her period and forgot to clean the sheets only for her mom to find them the next day. We were in our mid-twenties. smh

Having sex with my highschool girlfriend in my room when my parents were not home and I had sliding doors rather than hinged doors and after we were done we noticed that the door had been open. Turns out my mom had saw, possibly looked a bit too long, and then told me I was grounded for having sex lol. Thanks mom, but I was 15.

Same thing happened to me with her at her place but instead of it being a mom, it was her dad. I actually saw him quietly open the door a few inches and peek in and we made eye contact while I had his daughter from behind. We were 15/16 so I obviously booked it as fast as I could putting my clothes on while I ran to my car. I ended up taking her to the skatepark with me because she was too embarrassed to be in the house with her dad that afternoon.
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WOW. I have had the parent walk in during some fooling around but to have the ladies dad walk in as your punishing his lil baby girl from behind sure takes the cake.

Look at the bright side you could have been face fucking her violently so coulda bern worse.

I could picture a comedic moviescebe where the dad walks in and while one woukd think hed be furious, in turn he actually runs over trying to high 5 you yelling "yeaaa bro your the man, bang that bimbo" as you smash his daughter.
 
People lose a tooth or so from accident, or even bad dental work... Why make her feel like shit when she lost a tooth during an intimate moment?

A friend of my was caught masturbating with an electric toothbrush by her dad.

I've fallen out of bed backwards during sex, almost cracked my skull on the drawer.


^^^ Or, imagine coming home and finding your high-school daughter in the middle of a gang-bang... on your bed. One of my jock friends had sex with her, then she did the gangbang after he left.
I bet that bed was set on fire and thrown away.
 
Clitnhawk said:
People lose a tooth or so from accident, or even bad dental work... Why make her feel like shit when she lost a tooth during an intimate moment?

A friend of my was caught masturbating with an electric toothbrush by her dad.

I've fallen out of bed backwards during sex, almost cracked my skull on the drawer.


^^^ Or, imagine coming home and finding your high-school daughter in the middle of a gang-bang... on your bed. One of my jock friends had sex with her, then she did the gangbang after he left.
I bet that bed was set on fire and thrown away.
Click to expand...


Strong reading comprehension you have. Where did my OP say i made her feel like shit?

I clearly stated the incident occured, she was extremely embarassed, crying, ran to bathroom and just wanted me to leave. So i did

In hindsight maybe i could have done more? Idk. But i juat gave her the space she asked for which she was appreciative of.

and the killed erection was more of a little joke in which i said nothing to her about more of a way to describe the situation to you guys as in "yea the horniness was quickly subdued after the incident so it wasnt a bad time to leave per her request"

The fact i had to explain all of this to you truly saddens me. The fact you read the OP and think i put her down in any way or made her feel like shyt is laughable. I pity you.



****now to comment on your actual contribution to the thread and not your reading comprehension, i would have to say that being caught masturbating by your parents has to be one of the most embarassing things ever lol.

Im sure both my parents and i, would be happier to have a situation where they walked in on their son getting it in vs me fapping to old pamela anderson pictures.
 
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Not so much during play time, but the next morning.
We were out of town staying at a 5 star hotel in Chicago. Out drinking one night and came back to the room literately undressing as we got off the elevator and fell into bed
She was very very vocal shouting out what i was doing to her and to give it to her harder and .... well you get the picture.
We were staying on the concierge floor which had a lounge that served a very nice breakfast. The next morning as we had our coffee we shared some small talk with the couple next to us.
Just so happened we all finished and left together and as we approached our door, they when to the adjoining room. As we unlocked our door he said in a light coming on tone " Oh, your the couple that was next door to us last night"
I smiled proudly and my SO turned a bright red.
 
i loudly farted as i came.

first time farting in front of my girlfriend and i also made a big thing about never farting in public. she found it hi-larious.
 
I got two experiences that stand out in particular.

The honors always go to this girl when it comes to lack of class. After an argument about how I felt that she should go home as two days and nights together was enough she got mad, really mad and went and spoke to my mother. She got straight to the nastiest thing she could think of. Somehow I knew she was gonna show her ass quite literally but she ended up showing my mom her asshole.

She told my mother I put my cock in her ass and dropped her pants and bent over to show my mother the damage. I heard that part and was like "Yo, you told me to put it in your ass." Well my mother being a psychologist has seen it all and says "That's nice dear, how about a ride home." Well this chick was like "Fuck no, I want to stay here and hang out." My mother says "Well no one wants you here and to be honest you just kinda showed up, my son did not invite you, but look he is tired, I am tired, and well you are fucking annoying, so should we do this the easy way or should I get my gun and mace?"

So there was another time and I found this one funny. So I get a call late at night, a bit after 11 and this chick says she wants to drink with me and she got a friend with her. So I tell my mum that I am going to have some guests and she is like "are you selling crack?", so anyways I tell her I got these chicks coming by and I comment that I bet they want to have sex. She is all like "naw people are not like that" so we end up making a bet on whether or not I would have sex with both of them that night.

All that was normal conversation between my mum and myself. So we chilling in the living room, which in retrospect, I shoulda been in my room but this bitch was dancing and shit. So anyways one of the chicks was a stripper and after a while we end up playing her stripper song, the song she dances to most the time. Anyways the music is loud but she is doing her thing and well around the time she is upside down with her crotch in my face sucking my dick while the other chick is fingering her asshole my mum walks out to ask to turn the music down.

As soon as she comes out, she is like "Can you turn down the mus... I didn't see anything, oh shit, just turn it down or take it to your room, fuck, shit, damn, ok, bye." At that point I yell out "Hey mum do you want to pay up now or what?" One of the chicks is like what you talking about and I say "Don't just look at her ass, eat it." My mum yells "That is not how a gentleman treats women."

So anyways my mother has really regretted moving in with me a couple years ago. She spends most her time at the grandparents especially if I have company. She will call me and ask if I have company cuz she wants to kick it with me and watch tv and drink but she just don't even want to meet my friends these days. She didn't catch on to some of the situations she might oversee if she didn't mind her own till she learned the hard way.

So living with your parents as an adult is awkward but what can we do during hard times but come together as a family and well embarrassing shit happens on both our ends. Its not a big house and well I had quite an excessive lifestyle when she first moved here.
 
Shit at the end of the penis after anal sex with an ex girlfriend was a bit awkward. No condom, pull my magic love wand out and the head had a bit of shit on it. Suppose it was to be expected.

I had to waddle to the bathroom, making sure none dripped on the carpet, and give my hot rod and good clean, while she lay on the bed wondering where the fuck I had vanished to.

Total passion killer.
 
dopemaster said:
I got two experiences that stand out in particular.

The honors always go to this girl when it comes to lack of class. After an argument about how I felt that she should go home as two days and nights together was enough she got mad, really mad and went and spoke to my mother. She got straight to the nastiest thing she could think of. Somehow I knew she was gonna show her ass quite literally but she ended up showing my mom her asshole.

She told my mother I put my cock in her ass and dropped her pants and bent over to show my mother the damage. I heard that part and was like "Yo, you told me to put it in your ass." Well my mother being a psychologist has seen it all and says "That's nice dear, how about a ride home." Well this chick was like "Fuck no, I want to stay here and hang out." My mother says "Well no one wants you here and to be honest you just kinda showed up, my son did not invite you, but look he is tired, I am tired, and well you are fucking annoying, so should we do this the easy way or should I get my gun and mace?"

So there was another time and I found this one funny. So I get a call late at night, a bit after 11 and this chick says she wants to drink with me and she got a friend with her. So I tell my mum that I am going to have some guests and she is like "are you selling crack?", so anyways I tell her I got these chicks coming by and I comment that I bet they want to have sex. She is all like "naw people are not like that" so we end up making a bet on whether or not I would have sex with both of them that night.

All that was normal conversation between my mum and myself. So we chilling in the living room, which in retrospect, I shoulda been in my room but this bitch was dancing and shit. So anyways one of the chicks was a stripper and after a while we end up playing her stripper song, the song she dances to most the time. Anyways the music is loud but she is doing her thing and well around the time she is upside down with her crotch in my face sucking my dick while the other chick is fingering her asshole my mum walks out to ask to turn the music down.

As soon as she comes out, she is like "Can you turn down the mus... I didn't see anything, oh shit, just turn it down or take it to your room, fuck, shit, damn, ok, bye." At that point I yell out "Hey mum do you want to pay up now or what?" One of the chicks is like what you talking about and I say "Don't just look at her ass, eat it." My mum yells "That is not how a gentleman treats women."

So anyways my mother has really regretted moving in with me a couple years ago. She spends most her time at the grandparents especially if I have company. She will call me and ask if I have company cuz she wants to kick it with me and watch tv and drink but she just don't even want to meet my friends these days. She didn't catch on to some of the situations she might oversee if she didn't mind her own till she learned the hard way.

So living with your parents as an adult is awkward but what can we do during hard times but come together as a family and well embarrassing shit happens on both our ends. Its not a big house and well I had quite an excessive lifestyle when she first moved here.
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Dead. Wow. Best story I've read in a while.
 
For some reason, I feel like I have written this somewhere else on Bluelight, but worth mentioning again.
I was 16 years old, and I was dating this girl who moved from Poland only 4 years before. We took my truck up this dirt road in the suburbs where they were building mansions. It was a place where we would take tables up partying all night with beer pong and drinking because it wasn't developed yet. So, I go up there in broad daylight (2pm), and we proceed to fuck in the back of my truck. I had the windows open a crack, because, well, it was fucking hot, and I'm having her yell dirty shit to me in Polish. We figure we are somewhere that no one would be, and we are both being obnoxiously loud. Anyways, she's screaming some filthy shit in Polish, and I am eating up every minute of it.

All of a sudden, I hear banging on my window and an old woman walking her german shepard starts screaming, "YOU GET OUT OF HERE YOU DIRTY PERVERTS! I HAVE PHONED THE POLICE, AND I WOULD LEAVE IMMEDIATELY IF I WERE YOU!" Startled, sweaty, confused, boner and all, I jump into the drivers seat and peel out naked leaving this poor woman in a trail of dust. I more than likely kicked up rocks that hit her in my escape. With that said, I'm off-roading butt ass naked with my chick in the back dying of laughter also naked going 30mph catching air just boning the fuck out. After all that, we had to go pick up my little brother from school, and we were just laughing, laughing, laughing. He still thinks I have mental issues because of that drive many years ago.
 
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My Wife and I were into very energetic sex, when the bed broke! My good friend was a great wood worker, so I asked to do some fixing for me.

He rolled up with his tools and all. Lifting off the mattress showed a snapped spar! He replaced it, no problem.

Then my Wife demonstrated how I broke it, how I just flung myself on the bed? At the opposite side of were it got broken!

My Buddy and I looked at each other, and broke up! Laughed for 5 minutes!
 
i've had the shit on the cock after giving my at the time gf anal and it smelt pretty bad and she was really embarrassed at the time but i just washed it off and didn't make her feel bad about it, we joked about it after. had my gf's son walk in on us mid session once that was awkward. when i was about 17 i shot my load within 5 seconds of putting my nob in, obviously i can last the distance now but it was embarrassing at the time.

my ex from a few years back was giving me a blow job on the train under a coat and the ticket man walked past, she still continued to suck me off whilst i tried to get my tickets for the man to check, keeping a straight face was extremely hard!
 
I was at my peak of being an alcoholic and hooked up with this guy pissed drunk. I was giving him a blowjob and I suddenly puked on him hahaha so much for a crazy sex night eh?
 
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