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Should I invite her out to meet

R

rollsolo

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 20, 2014
Messages
152
Hey all,


Few weeks ago I went to the beach with a few friends. One of my best friends girlfriend has this friend who she is trying to hook up with me. I think it's kinda cheesy because she made it very evident that she was trying to. We all hung out and I chatted with her for a while. Seems like a cool girl but it was a short lived conversation as we all just wanted to have fun in the sun and she wanted to just sit in the sand. I didn't end up grabbing her number so I just kept it at that.


A few weeks later (Yesterday) she text me asking if I wanted to go on a group ride. I told her I was busy around the times she wanted to meet and said I wish I had known earlier I would of planned to make it out. She text back saying no problem. another time. (this is like 1am so I didn't bother texting back. I attend Yoga classes Sunday morning and was going to invite her out to join me. If she cannot make it I was thinking we can meet for coffee. What do you think? Also find it awkward that I didn't give her my number which means that my friends girlfriend gave it to her which is kind of shady. Thoughts on this will be greatly appreciated.
 
i think it was nice of ur friends gf to give her your #, i dont get why thats shady

if you like her, sure, ask her if she wants to go to yoga. you could get coffee/lunch after since you wont really be able to socialise during a yoga class.
 
It's not weird at all. If you like it, just meet up with her. Why not? What do you have to lose?
 
If she cared to go out of her way to get your number from a friend then consider yourself pursued. If you fancy this girl, I see no reason why you shouldn't set up a more 1 on 1 environment to get to know her better. She clearly wants to hang out
 
Thanks for all of your tips on this. I ended up inviting her but she had plans to hike, she did say another time perhaps? I then went on to say Let's get together next week or something. I'll reach out to you. She said ok sounds good!. So at this point I would have to ask her out to meet somewhere. I'm not exactly sure where I should go as I haven't gone out with anyone in a while. I can do like dinner, walk in the park, a bike ride to my secret spot I don't share with many people. Idk any suggestions would be helpful.
 
In all seriousness, do you have social anxiety or something? Why does every social interaction send you into a tailspin?
 
queenbee1127 said:
In all seriousness, do you have social anxiety or something? Why does every social interaction send you into a tailspin?
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No I don't I just haven't went on a date in a while. Sounds lame but it's been a year since my ex girlfriend and I broke up. I've seen other women but it was short lived and afterwards I just been doing my own thing and focusing on work. I took women out of the picture for a while since then. I have a pretty bangin social life currently I just don't date any girls at the moment. I talk to them when I hang with friends and our social groups no problem at all. I think I struggle in many areas when it comes to the dynamics of dating. I think I'll invite her out bowling this Friday.
 
Don't go bowling. Thirteen year olds go bowling.

Go to a concert, go check out a local band at a bar, go on a bike ride, go out for dinner/drinks, just don't go bowling.
 
I know people in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond who bowl. Especially the HIP bowling venues. Some even have "party bowel rooms" with 1-2 lanes and club-dance type lighting.
 
Hmmm party bowel rooms you say? Pass.

Does your city have a bar with arcade games? What about local food festivals? Farmers market? Sporting event?
 
Since when was bowling a sport only meant for 13 year Olds?
Personally I wouldn't reccomend something like that for a first date since you'll want to spend most of your time talking about yourselves. Take her out to lunch or coffee or something similarly 1 on 1 where you can just talk. (Imo)
 
Bowling brings up images in my head of being in middle school and getting dropped off Friday night at the bowling alley, flirting with your crush and drinking pitchers of soda. Or overweight Midwesterners in bowling leagues drinking pitchers of beer...like in the big Lebowski. Don't take this girl to your local AMF lanes, impress her with something different.
 
Coffee dates are fine and I don't mind talking but they're boring a ever. I feel people want to have fun when they go on dates even if it's the first time. I think grabbing a rent a bike and biking to a bowling alley would be fun and you can interact while bowling. Dinner afterwards.
 
^ my advice would be to stop overthinking everything and planning things minutely. how about you just give her a call and see what happens? take her out and see what happens?

live in the moment a bit.

alasdair
 
alasdairm said:
^ my advice would be to stop overthinking everything and planning things minutely. how about you just give her a call and see what happens? take her out and see what happens?

live in the moment a bit.

alasdair
Click to expand...
This. What's the worst that can happen when asking a girl out?
I met an awesome girl at a party of a friend of mine, where we were both really drunk and made out. Afterwards, a few days later, I was still texting with her and, even though I never did it before, I thought: "Why not ask her out?" Immediately after that thought, I texted her, asking her to come over the next week. Why so impulsive? Because I know that when I let time pass and start thinking about it, I'll come up with dumb excuses to myself and I won't actually do it. She said yes, we had a date and we're still seeing eachother now. It's steadily growing into a relationship.

Long story short: Don't grant yourself the time to overthink these actions. You might miss out on something great if you sit and wait.

There's no real risk, so do it as soon as you think of it. If she says no or it doesn't work out, too bad, at least you tried. Otherwise you'll have the rest of your life to think about what could've been.
 
LearntYoung said:
This. What's the worst that can happen when asking a girl out?
I met an awesome girl at a party of a friend of mine, where we were both really drunk and made out. Afterwards, a few days later, I was still texting with her and, even though I never did it before, I thought: "Why not ask her out?" Immediately after that thought, I texted her, asking her to come over the next week. Why so impulsive? Because I know that when I let time pass and start thinking about it, I'll come up with dumb excuses to myself and I won't actually do it. She said yes, we had a date and we're still seeing eachother now. It's steadily growing into a relationship.

Long story short: Don't grant yourself the time to overthink these actions. You might miss out on something great if you sit and wait.

There's no real risk, so do it as soon as you think of it. If she says no or it doesn't work out, too bad, at least you tried. Otherwise you'll have the rest of your life to think about what could've been.
Click to expand...

J.Daniels said:
Could do the bike thing, as long as she wont get sweaty or anything
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Ended up calling her and left a voicemail message. She called me back directly afterwards and we spent a total of about 5 minutes on the phone. This is how it went...


I said hello, asked how she was doing and how her group ride went that she invited me to that I unable to make. She said it went well and went on with the details. She then asked me about my yoga class which I told her went well. She asked me if I bike often and I said yes everyday blah, blah, blah. I then asked her what her week looked like. She said pretty open for the most part. I then said are you free Friday it would be nice to see you and link up. She said yeah for sure it would be but she's going to a play in the evening. She then asked if we can meet in the afternoon for lunch or early evening before the play. I said I can try but I'll be working out there until 4pm.


She asked me about the weekend and I said I have a bike race Saturday and a photo shoot on Sunday. I countered and asked her about next Wednesday and mentioned I know it's a bit far fetched. She said that can work but unsure as she plans day to day. I said ok so how about we touch base on Friday morning and try to meet up before your play on Friday? She said that would be great!


So I just checked my schedule again and it looks like I'll be able to meet up with her sometime around 4pm. I was thinking of calling her tomorrow evening and letting her that we're on for 4pm. I wish I knew that I would be free sooner but I just got word on this literally right after I hung up the phone. Obviously our schedules are a bit conflicting but trying to find the best time to meet. Hope I didn't screw this up already haha. Either way she definitely seemed pretty interested in talking on the phone.
 
OP, have you ever heard of making time for people you want to spend time with? If these aren't serious commitments, I might recommend rearranging your schedule and being more flexible, it will surely yield more dates.

I'm not saying ditch priorities or reorganize your life for this girl, but if some guy asked me out but had an outstanding list of prior engagements like that, I would think 'what's the point?'
 
queenbee1127 said:
OP, have you ever heard of making time for people you want to spend time with? If these aren't serious commitments, I might recommend rearranging your schedule and being more flexible, it will surely yield more dates.

I'm not saying ditch priorities or reorganize your life for this girl, but if some guy asked me out but had an outstanding list of prior engagements like that, I would think 'what's the point?'
Click to expand...


Ha! You have got to be kidding me. I have a busy schedule and laid out clear options like Friday, next Wednesday. Hell, I even said tomorrow Thursday. My line of work requires me to travel and shoot as I'm a DP for a small brand and work with clients on odd days. Often times schedules get changed. We'll be meeting this Friday after I let her know tomorrow I'll be able to make it out there around 3pm. I can't stop my projects to go on a date as they're already scheduled, I work around them. She didn't stop her play she's attending in the city to accommodate my schedule. I'm just saying we're both working to make this happen and I'm sure it will happen.

Question: Would you think it's best to just reach out again tonight and tell her Friday works or just save it for tomorrow?
 
When I first went out with my partner, he invited me to the movies..... I said maybe we should do something slightly more interesting (I mean you can't talk at the movies), we did mini-golf on the first date and bowling on the second date. I think we were like 19? Not just for kids. It's fun to get to know each other in ways like that. After both those dates, we went for a walk in the park and talked and stuff.

Sometimes people are busy, keep trying to make an effort!
 
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