Hi bluelighters,
I seem to have a bit of problem. After a brief stint of smoking ice for about a year or two...obviously the drug took over my life and ruined a lot of things. I lost my job, a lot of good friends stopped talking to me and crashed my dream car. Due to not having a job and refusing to turn to a life of crime for my fix I stopped using and have been clean on and off for about 3 year....
But I still cannot seem to shake the desire to use, I've never been very self confident with myself even before my use, but back then I could at least fake it...now i struggle to leave the house cause my confidents is just....well non existent.... Iam starting convincing myself that if I could use again it would help me get my life back on track because I'll have the confidents to go to a job and participate in "normal" activities, even if only for a little bit......
What the hell do I do? What's wrong with me? Have I fried my brain? Should I just except that this is something I will need for the rest of my life just to be "normal".
Sorry for the long post, just very confused at the moment.
I seem to have a bit of problem. After a brief stint of smoking ice for about a year or two...obviously the drug took over my life and ruined a lot of things. I lost my job, a lot of good friends stopped talking to me and crashed my dream car. Due to not having a job and refusing to turn to a life of crime for my fix I stopped using and have been clean on and off for about 3 year....
But I still cannot seem to shake the desire to use, I've never been very self confident with myself even before my use, but back then I could at least fake it...now i struggle to leave the house cause my confidents is just....well non existent.... Iam starting convincing myself that if I could use again it would help me get my life back on track because I'll have the confidents to go to a job and participate in "normal" activities, even if only for a little bit......
What the hell do I do? What's wrong with me? Have I fried my brain? Should I just except that this is something I will need for the rest of my life just to be "normal".
Sorry for the long post, just very confused at the moment.
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