so ive been battling a heroin addiction for 3 yrs, and managed to withdrawal completely off and im finally completely sober.
but ive ruined both times ive tried going to college, couldn't even hold the same job for more than 3 months due to my attempts at getting clean multiple times while employed. (its not even being on heroin that fucks things up, its the times you try to come off of it that just ruins everything youre trying to accomplish..)
and now at 22 still living under my parents roof, i am finally fucking clean.
i get mad cravings still here and there but i have no income... so its whatever, i wont be scoring any as of now.
but my mindset is so fucked up and i cant change it...
its like i know if i go out and get employed ima hop right back on to my addiction. i just know it (yall know what im talking about...)
my parents hate the idea of me working a low wage job whether it be full time or part time, and they just can't stand to see me live with them anymore so they gave me a 4 week notice and told me to either get outta here or pay rent.
As much as i know im capable of living on my own or pay rent i know im gonna relapse hard and its gonna last for a while and im scared as shit for that.
idk what to do, im still depressed from paws but its residual and its going away as i can tell, but im so fuckin lost....
ive thought of suicide but that just seems stupid as fuck since id rather be on heroin than suicide durrr.
shud i enlist for the army? (serious question)...
but ive ruined both times ive tried going to college, couldn't even hold the same job for more than 3 months due to my attempts at getting clean multiple times while employed. (its not even being on heroin that fucks things up, its the times you try to come off of it that just ruins everything youre trying to accomplish..)
and now at 22 still living under my parents roof, i am finally fucking clean.
i get mad cravings still here and there but i have no income... so its whatever, i wont be scoring any as of now.
but my mindset is so fucked up and i cant change it...
its like i know if i go out and get employed ima hop right back on to my addiction. i just know it (yall know what im talking about...)
my parents hate the idea of me working a low wage job whether it be full time or part time, and they just can't stand to see me live with them anymore so they gave me a 4 week notice and told me to either get outta here or pay rent.
As much as i know im capable of living on my own or pay rent i know im gonna relapse hard and its gonna last for a while and im scared as shit for that.
idk what to do, im still depressed from paws but its residual and its going away as i can tell, but im so fuckin lost....
ive thought of suicide but that just seems stupid as fuck since id rather be on heroin than suicide durrr.
shud i enlist for the army? (serious question)...