First off, the original post here is so familiar I doubt that it will leave my head for at least a few days coming.
Inspired, I read through all the responses in this thread and found a lot of similarities with my own situation- which is both a terribly sad and comforting feeling. However, try as I might, I haven't come across many in my situation.
I was prescribed Adderall in a clinical test administered at a prestigious university... Just before I turned 7. For those who picked up this curse of a chemical in their 20s, perhaps you were lucky. Three friends (who I am still close with) and myself were prescribed to varying levels of amphetamine, methylphenidate and oddly, once and antipsychotic all before the age of ten. We were considered weird, or nerds, for hating lunch, hating recess and consistently overachieving in classes, which made our parents happy and the study continue. Socially, it was another story entirely.
Fast forward twenty years later. I am convinced (as are the friends previously mentioned) that such early intake of a drug so powerful permanently scarred us. There's little point in being sad about it, we're all bright kids... But trust me. I know stages 1-8 like the back of my hand. As early as 8 years old I remember being unable to sleep for days, watching shadows move like people.
And yet, today we are well-adjusted. Of course, I shouldn't say 'we', or why would I be on this website?
Ah no, I am the only one who continued his prescription well past high school, past college. When I stop for a few days, my body is filled with overwhelming joy and confidence... But zero ability to complete any given task.
What's the most I've taken? That's stupid. Its not a contest as much as a death march. Within a 24-hour period, probably upwards of 1,200mg of Adderall, 2,000mg methylphenidate and 700mg of Vyvanse. It is a fucking nightmare, one that only the user understands.
And yet. The optimists on this thread are correct. Things do recover, bounce back and 'permanent' damage is not as permanent as one would think.
(of course, lets try not to think about my poor heart- ok?)
I am somehow able to run my own business successfully, with about 10 employees, despite all this mess.
Thank you guys, for having this thread. It summarizes such a dark and true part of my life.
Inspired, I read through all the responses in this thread and found a lot of similarities with my own situation- which is both a terribly sad and comforting feeling. However, try as I might, I haven't come across many in my situation.
I was prescribed Adderall in a clinical test administered at a prestigious university... Just before I turned 7. For those who picked up this curse of a chemical in their 20s, perhaps you were lucky. Three friends (who I am still close with) and myself were prescribed to varying levels of amphetamine, methylphenidate and oddly, once and antipsychotic all before the age of ten. We were considered weird, or nerds, for hating lunch, hating recess and consistently overachieving in classes, which made our parents happy and the study continue. Socially, it was another story entirely.
Fast forward twenty years later. I am convinced (as are the friends previously mentioned) that such early intake of a drug so powerful permanently scarred us. There's little point in being sad about it, we're all bright kids... But trust me. I know stages 1-8 like the back of my hand. As early as 8 years old I remember being unable to sleep for days, watching shadows move like people.
And yet, today we are well-adjusted. Of course, I shouldn't say 'we', or why would I be on this website?
Ah no, I am the only one who continued his prescription well past high school, past college. When I stop for a few days, my body is filled with overwhelming joy and confidence... But zero ability to complete any given task.
What's the most I've taken? That's stupid. Its not a contest as much as a death march. Within a 24-hour period, probably upwards of 1,200mg of Adderall, 2,000mg methylphenidate and 700mg of Vyvanse. It is a fucking nightmare, one that only the user understands.
And yet. The optimists on this thread are correct. Things do recover, bounce back and 'permanent' damage is not as permanent as one would think.
(of course, lets try not to think about my poor heart- ok?)
I am somehow able to run my own business successfully, with about 10 employees, despite all this mess.
Thank you guys, for having this thread. It summarizes such a dark and true part of my life.