camjua
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2014
- Messages
- 278
Years ago, 2008 to be exact, I tried psilocybin mushrooms.. I took a 4th of shrooms.. With people I hardly knew in an unfamiliar environment. I had a horrendously bad trip as you could expect but I was young.. And had no idea what I was doing. I was convinced I was dying. Puking, scared shitless, they told me it would be like "strong weed" which I loved weed... I have scars from where I dug my fingers into my arms and looking back on it.. I wasnt prepared. At all. I didn't know shit about what I was taking.. And the trip was so bad it triggered anxiety disorders for me. I tried to jump from my friends 2nd story window because I was convinced I'd never come back... So I'd rather die by suicide. I also cried for over an hour the next morning when I woke up sober because I was so happy to be sober.
I had to quit smoking weed (since after shrooms I couldn't handle smoking weed anymore because it would give me panic attacks), I became agoraphobic.. Ever since I've struggled with drugs..I've done tons of drugs.. Benzos, heroin, meth, coke, crack, anything you can imagine.. Became promiscuous.. Etc. All attempts to quell anxiety. Tried shrooms and other psychedelics again hoping I'd be able to enjoy them or reverse the damage from the bad trip... With no success. Every psychedelic I've tried (2ci, shrooms, ketamine, dxm, PCP, LSD, salvia and mescaline) I've hated all of them.. Always a panic attack for me.. They all seemed to make my problems worse.. I ended up developing BPD.. Becoming a meth addict, coke fiend, alcoholic, oxycodone addict lol.. I've been it all in an attempt to quell the anxiety triggered by shrooms. Sucks ass.
Before shrooms all i did was smoke weed. I was content just smoking weed the rest of my life.. I had no desire to try other drugs. Loved weed. Didn't even drink. Now I can only smoke a tiny bit because it usually triggers panic attacks at higher doses.. Before shrooms I didn't know what anxiety was. I never suffered from depression, was a happy person.. Just smoked weed.. Wasn't promiscuous.. Etc.
Long story short.. I've been in and out of psych wards, multiple suicide attempts, have full fledged bpd.. Have been on every psych med out there.. Etc. I have no reservations saying that shrooms ruined my life. I'm diagnosed BPD and PTSD.
Can someone tell me though. Is my story very odd? Or is it somewhat common?
I had to quit smoking weed (since after shrooms I couldn't handle smoking weed anymore because it would give me panic attacks), I became agoraphobic.. Ever since I've struggled with drugs..I've done tons of drugs.. Benzos, heroin, meth, coke, crack, anything you can imagine.. Became promiscuous.. Etc. All attempts to quell anxiety. Tried shrooms and other psychedelics again hoping I'd be able to enjoy them or reverse the damage from the bad trip... With no success. Every psychedelic I've tried (2ci, shrooms, ketamine, dxm, PCP, LSD, salvia and mescaline) I've hated all of them.. Always a panic attack for me.. They all seemed to make my problems worse.. I ended up developing BPD.. Becoming a meth addict, coke fiend, alcoholic, oxycodone addict lol.. I've been it all in an attempt to quell the anxiety triggered by shrooms. Sucks ass.
Before shrooms all i did was smoke weed. I was content just smoking weed the rest of my life.. I had no desire to try other drugs. Loved weed. Didn't even drink. Now I can only smoke a tiny bit because it usually triggers panic attacks at higher doses.. Before shrooms I didn't know what anxiety was. I never suffered from depression, was a happy person.. Just smoked weed.. Wasn't promiscuous.. Etc.
Long story short.. I've been in and out of psych wards, multiple suicide attempts, have full fledged bpd.. Have been on every psych med out there.. Etc. I have no reservations saying that shrooms ruined my life. I'm diagnosed BPD and PTSD.
Can someone tell me though. Is my story very odd? Or is it somewhat common?
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