The Big & Dandy Methoxetamine Thread: 8th dose, I can't sleep so why not?

[Cyanoide]

I meant to make a post about my observation of MXE's notable tendency to make me want to believe very unlikely, irrational, but nonetheless interesting ideas. For instance, on multiple occasions during and shortly after MXE use, I noticed some type of synchronicity that I normally would have attributed to coincidence. But in the MXE-affected thought process, I was overly-fascinated by the synchronicity, and almost began to entertain credibility to the idea that MXE was making supernatural connections in my mind. I always caught myself, though, so I was able to counter-balance the loopy thought process with logic.

Nonetheless, I can see how MXE is almost the perfect drug for confabulation of conspiracy theories and all sorts of other psychotic ideas. Don't get me wrong -- I believe that MXE is a fairly safe and potentially very useful compound when treated with caution and respect. All I'm saying is, watch out for the magical / paranoid flavor of thought pattern.

This is exactly what I wrote about in the thread I started about problems integrating dissociative trips. I get ideas that are totally absurd and unrealistic but nonetheless feel so real I'm convinced they work. This usually happens with doses of 100 mg and more. I also sometimes take the personality of a completely different person or believe I'm something I'm not and behave like the imaginary person I believe I am, sometimes to the point of even talking with a different voice and so on. I think I'm going to stay under 100 mg hereafter because my behaviour is quite psychotic with high doses.

 

[eye_wide_open]

It can help people who suffer from severe depression and who have suicidal tendencies....it can help people with addiction problems,

Now there is the truth.
I have almost quit a 20 year weed addiction because of methoxetamine.
I haven't had a single suicidal thought since I started using it, and I don't even have to take it regularly.

MXE has almost made me quit taking itself several times. I'm sure it will one day. It won't be because I don't like it, that's for sure.

MXE has also flat out helped me to curb my social anxiety.

Hey but don't listen to me I'm completely unintelligent and crazy and addicted. lololol
Keep telling yourself that and you might believe it.

dmt
dmt
dmt
MXE? blegh who wants that crap.

...and for those of you geniuses who can't understand what Eye Wide Open means..
It refers to a THIRD EYE.
I don't need to open the second eye, it's already there. Along with the third.
It seems you guys could use some help understanding regular observation, so I won't hold it to ya for not understanding that one.

In New Age spirituality, the third eye may alternately symbolize a state of enlightenment or the evocation of mental images having deeply personal spiritual or psychological significance. The third eye is often associated with visions, clairvoyance (which includes the ability to observe chakras and auras),[1] precognition, and out-of-body experiences.

Hmmm,
Does MXE take you there?
I think so! It is the reason I joined this site, after all.

That should be loud and clear now I think. Where my name came from.
Don't believe it can happen? Dose 250mg and jump in bed! Or STFU.

 

[edzeppelin]

I also found MXE to be the best antidepressant ever at low (10-15mg) doses. But I took it 3 or 4 times a day and POOF! after 5 weeks the antideppressant effect was gone. I tried using more, stopped using for a couple of months, nothing seemed to bring back that original AD feeling. You can build a tolerance using low doses and it does not go away very quickly. That was a year ago and recently I tried 75mg. I got some mild psychedelic effects, but no AD effect. Your mental state sounds about like how mine is. This stuff works as an AD at first, but my experience says that tolerance builds no matter what, so spread your doses out as much as possible and try to be as productive as you can until the inevitable decline back to your original state. This was not a permanent fix, at least for me.

 

[6apbhmm]

Actually I would definitely call that an addiction, or a psychological dependence. "I flush my shit all the time"? The constant polarity shift between involving yourself passionately with something and then discarding it in shame is a clear sign of addiction, or at least a very unhealthy relationship. This goes not only for drugs, but all other aspects of life such as sex, relationships etc.

Even if you had a good trip and didn't care if you would ever use MXE again, the volition for flushing it comes from somewhere, otherwise you would just let it be in your stash if you had no negative feelings towards it.



Actually, they can and do, all the time. You will find that many hardcore alcoholics will pour their booze down the sink, only to go and buy another bottle the next morning. It's classic push-pull addictive behaviour.

The fact that you got paranoid on methylone does not mean you can chalk it up solely to the methylone itself. It could very well be that the methylone was just the trigger for a build up of subconscious paranoia accrued from heavy MXE use. It is quite clear from some of your more 'esoteric' proclaimations in the MXE threads that your ideas tend toward the paranoid and conspiratorial.



I know you tried to downplay the nanomachines thing, but in this post you made it clear that you attatch some sort of conspiratorial government view on the reason for the existence of MXE. I think Laika was right when he said this is a sign you need to take a break if you are thinking in this way. As I said before, I got sucked in to the paranoid conspiracy mindset once before, and I know that it's pretty unhealthy to indulge it to that extent. I'm not trying to tell you what to believe, but you might want to get some broader perspective on existence outside of all-seeing eyes and pyramids.

As patronizing as all this may sound, I'm only trying to help you "open your eyes". Dissociatives can induce some pretty amazing and illogical delusions. And the more we become dependent on something, the more we like to look away from that aspect of the relationship.

Sorry for the long quote, but imo this is an excellent post.

Nothing is a better sign of addiction than throwing out your stuff, only to seek it the next day

Cmon eye_wide_open, nobodys here to annoy or scare or suspect you, just please be careful, I can't help but think that your posts are very paranoid and strange. Nothing personal. Just because you went through one addiction does not mean you can't fall in addiction again, especially with totally different kind of drug (speed has nothing in common with mxe).

 

[Reticuli]

"my head feels completely fucked on it" is working as expected :D

yes, i should say that my head feels concussive and pressurized. This seems typical of ndma agonists.

Given its close relation to Ketamine and the fact that the powder does also seem to be an irritant like Ketamine is, I'd expect it to lead to similar bladder and kidney damage with abuse as with Ketamine - the difference is with Methoxetamine this would likely take a lot longer to achieve provided that people were taking proportionate doses (e.g. taking say 75mg to hole with MXE rather than 250mg+ with Ketamine - less irritant applied to tissue = less damage.)

Personally Reticuli from what you've specified in your post I'd say a break (temporary, or permanent) from MXE is in order.

Thanks Jesus.
I could not anticipate such irritation after only two doses of MXE.
The cramping and painful urination was a one time occurrence,
enough to warrant an extended break.

Nobody wins when people argue and put blame and labels.
I'm sorry not everyone likes me but it's not about me.
I hate that shit.

QFT. Personal attacks serve no purpose to the research of mxe.
I think all of us can be more concise and on topic.

 

[Cyanoide]

^^ QFT?? There is no truth. If I believe it serves a purpose to me, it serves a purpose to me. I was joking the whole time. There were no personal "attacks". I questioned peoples' -- opinions -- . If people are not willing to have their opinions questioned, then they should not be posting on a psychedelic drug forum. Psychedelic drugs make one question opinions, if nothing else - unfortunately I was unable to conform to "sober" social etiquette whilst high on LSD and DMT. This should be understood, and is understood by most people posting here. Hunter Thompson didn't write "Fear and Loathing" because he understood that personal attacks served no purpose. Please update your facebook mentality to a ca. 1969 mentality. Love x

(If you want concise, on-topic information - go to erowid).

Questioning people's opinions is fine and in some cases even necessary. I guess it just have to do with how you do it. Psychedelics make me question many things - myself and my own opinions included. However, psychedelics do not cure people automatically from feelings like frustration and anger. I've found that meditation is the best way for me to learn to deal with undesirable feelings.

I was mostly frustrated by the fact that I knew you were not the novice and so childish you played you were - you admitted this yourself.

 

[idontdothizz]

Go worry about the people admitting they have numb limbs from MXE please.
That's not even close to me!

So.... having numb limbs from high doses of this drug is bad? I thought you said it was expected..

 

[Axed]

Think I'm finally experiencing MXE afterglow today... After consuming about 90mg over a few hours last night, I feel different right now from smoking a bowl than I normally would. It's interesting though. Too bad my friend and I finished my stash...until next time, MXE.

 

[Mr. Meowfish]

I honestly don't think that most people even realize what this drug really is....They try and say it is a derivative of ketamine, but structurally it is much more similar to PCP <no it isn't>. In fact, it's actually been intentionally synthesized to be stronger than PCP <It wasn't, and it isn't>....But people don't want to call it PCP, or what it truly is....an offshoot of eticyclidine.....AKA..........PCE. PCE is a cousin of PCP, only slightly stronger by weight, and having a bit more of an opiate like profile added to it...I.E.....the Mu antagonism.
This drug was intentionally synthesized to be strong, longer acting, less neurotoxic, and more socially acceptable than its other amine family members. If MXE was called PCP, do you honestly think as many people would be willing to try it??? I highly doubt it.....type in PCP on youtube and see what comes up......a bunch of people, mainly african-american, acting crazy as fuck fighting police and hurting themselves and others. Why is this what you find?? Because the government does not want people to be turned onto drugs of this sort.....Look at all of the anti-government problems that LSD and other hallucinogens have caused the powers that be around the world. They open the "Third Eye" of intelligence, of learning what it really means to be a human being.....and that is something that is scary to a government that wants you to be docile and compliant with their every need. Why is crack and heroin always in abundance in any town across the United States............but psychedelics always have to be sought out. You could walk in certain neighborhoods in any major city and find PLENTY of drugs OFFERED TO YOU FOR SALE that will dumb you down.....aka crack cocaine and heroin..........but good luck finding something that will expand your mind.
I'm not trying to sound like some conspiracy nut, or talking shit about the government, just making an observation about how the powers that be are more than happy to see you take a drug that will make you more ignorant and easy to control.............but start taking a substance that can help you see the world in a new light or turn over a new leaf to become a better human being, that is frowned upon. I'm saying this because not many substances like MXE exist....most mind enhancing drugs can only be taken once or twice a week or month if you want to get optimal effects........but MXE..........you can enrich your life and your brain on a daily basis.
To me psychedelics are my religion, i feel like thanks to my experiences with them, the good the bad and the scary, I have been able to see things that your normal average american human being will never experience or understand. They allow you to realize that all humans around the world are interconnected and every action that we make affects something or someone. If more people in our world realized the lessons that psychedelics can teach you.............WE WOULD LIVE ON A WONDERFUL, PROSPEROUS, FRIENDLY PLANET full of beauty and harmony. Sure, I know that sounds cheesy as fuck....but wouldn't it be amazing..........to know that every person you saw, whether you know them or not, was looking out for your well being at all times as much as their own. That is a world that I would be proud to live in........not the JOKE that is currently human society.
Ok, I'm done ranting...........I just wanted to state what MXE and psychedelics of ALL kinds represent to me.......UNIVERSAL ONENESS BETWEEN MANKIND AND MOTHER EARTH. Call it pointless hippie bullshit, call it nutjob MXE messiah ramblings, make fun all you want. My comments are not meant to harm or anger anyone........only to inform and spread knowledge and kindness. MXE has been my ticket to daily spiritual enlightenment, and for that I am thankful. When I feel that I have learned all I can, I will stop my use, just like I've stopped taking LSD because I feel that I have gained all of the knowledge that I can from it. Psychedelics are medicine, MXE is medicine, but they can all harm us as well if used improperly or ignorantly...........
JUST ASK YOURSELF............WHAT IS MY RELATIONSHIP TO THIS SUBSTANCE AND WHY DO I ENJOY IT? WHAT AM I GAINING? WHAT AM I GIVING UP? All i ask is that we are all REAL WITH OURSELVES! Drug addiction is NO FUN. Be careful my brothers and sisters, and aliens of all sorts ; } Enlighten yourself............don't just drown in pointless pleasures and euphoria......TRY TO LEARN SOMETHING EVERYDAY, MXE can be a teacher...........but are you listening????????????

Let's back up our claims about the effects, structure, and purpose of drugs with facts and documentation in the future. And distilling your info so it isn't a wall of text might help it get read, really you can say just as much in half the space or less if you tried. And keep it on topic.
~Never

 

[hx_]

I think this thread is proof that some people get rather deluded during and after MXE trips, I cringe as I see some of you people's sanity slipping away.

Some people try to point it out and they get shouted at by the people loosing it.

 

[eye_wide_open]

So.... having numb limbs from high doses of this drug is bad? I thought you said it was expected..

That's not exactly what I said or meant.

I mean that when people stay up for days sitting at their computer on drugs they start to get pains and numb limbs.

Yes, that is bad!

I am nowhere near that stage. The folks telling me I am addicted and crazy, need to rethink their statements.

Plus, I'd like a photo of their PHD's in Psychology. Fuckin' internet heroes.
Who are any of you to tell me I'm crazy or addicted?
Is there a doctor in the house?

 

[Mr. Meowfish]

So is the govt responsible for all the terrance mckenna vids on youtube too?
this kind of thinking may not be evidence of being insane, but it is, for want of a better word, pretty retarded.
The govt doesnt control what drugs r on the street, supply and demand does.
this thread has been derailed beyond belief...i am aware that i am contributing to that problem...but cant keep my mouth shut when i see so much b/s

I was not saying that the government is putting up youtube videos about PCP, that comment was taken completely out of context. I am saying that the government does not want people to know the true nature of the drug, they constantly supply propaganda to the public about ALL forms of drugs....not just psychedelics or RC's or PCP. I was simply saying that I feel like PCP has a kind of "Reefer Madness" propaganda around it, you very rarely see FACTUAL statements made about the drug in a public setting. For example....
I was watching a recent episode of intervention where the guy the show was about was addicted to PCP. When he talked about smoking it HIS exact words were "They make this stuff with embalming fluid, the stuff they put in dead bodies." That right there in 2012 is common public knowledge of phencyclidine aka PCP. IT DOES NOT CONTAIN EMBALMING FLUID. I can't believe that people still think this, let alone someone who is actually USING the drug thinking this is a component of it. This is what I was referring to, people not understanding what the drugs actual chemical components are. MXE is not far off from PCP, people do not realize this. They think it is more like Ketamine. That is all I was trying to point out. I just want people to understand what they are taking. I personally find MXE to feel more like a combination of DXM, PCP, and some heady marijuana, with a little Nitrous on the side, with a hint of amphetamine for focus and energy, and some nice opiate-like euphoria for the finish. Add in some wonderful colors and amazing neon open eye and closed eye visuals and voila!.......that's what MXE feels like. Is that what it feels like to you?? Because I think that's a pretty right on description of what this drug feels like....add some wonkiness here and there...but back to your statement...I got off topic...
You REALLY believe that the government doesn't control what drugs are available on the streets???? REALLY??? IN AMERICA????? IN 2012???? You must also not believe that the government invented crack and introduced it into the ghetto as a marketable product.............but i'm the retarded one........um, OK? The U.S. government does not like psychedelic drugs, that is a fact.......they've learned to tolerate marijuana because they realize all the $$$$ involved and they love how it makes your average pothead oh so lazy and unproductive. Those are the drugs that the governments around the world want people to be on......the ones that make you numb and docile, the ones that make you unable to get to the polls and vote, the ones that take every penny you can scrape together. My friend, the government DOES control what drugs are on the street, just as much as they control what you see on your TV, and what the kids hear in the schools. If you don't know that by now.....................I'm not the ignorant one.
And I do apologize for taking the thread off topic......but at the same time, what I've said in 3 posts all needed to be said. I attempted to point opiate addicts towards something that may help them recover........I tried to spread knowledge about what MXE's chemical makeup truly is..............I tried to show that PCP is not an evil drug and that there is a lot of misinformation about it in the world. Isn't this what BL is supposed to be about?? Spreading knowledge and safety about drugs to your fellow users?? That's all I've tried to do, how that can be perceived as "retarded" is beyond me. I only make posts if I feel I have something to add to the MXE thread that has not been addressed. I could just talk about how cool getting fucked up is bro like half the people on this site..............................just saying........I'm trying to help not harm.

 

[idontdothizz]

Good stuff, Mr. Meowfish

 

[whoseanb]

Good to see some normal people post here...

Justsayno, hx_ and a few others...

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

Let's keep the paranoid delusional babble to a minimum people. And keep things polite, we have standards here in PD, and we will bring the hammer down if necessary.

We let y'all rattle on like mad in this semi-social reptile zoo of a thread as it is, so try to keep it MXE related.

 

[eye_wide_open]

I told you guys more like me were coming.
It's not a delusion. Lol.


Love ya, let's get back to our scheduled program!

I think the mxe thread needs a "delusional mxe ranting" spinoff.
Please? Lol
Then maybe I could have a home here where people can ignore me.

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

^I mostly meant meowfish's off topic delusional ranting. A lil' delusional talk is okay to throw in so long as you are keeping your posts productive.

But as for a thread to put yours in (delusional or non-delusional):
Psychedelic Ideas and Relevations Inaction is a classic
There's your thread
A thread specifically about listing delusions
And other threads you can find via the index or search engine. Feel free to post wherever appropriate.

 

[eye_wide_open]

Will you remove or merge a thread if I create one specifically for MXE experiences?
(If that's not what this is here that seems to start so many arguments when I input ideas about third eyes and such)

Really, I want to fit in.
I don't mean to diss anyone but I'm taking a lot of heat too, unnecessarily.
There is something that pertains to MXE that I think people should know about, for a form of harm reduction, if you must.

If you don't want your third eye going and opening on you, maybe you shouldn't have done the things I did with MXE. Harm reduction?

I could see how it could lead a lot of people to psychosis but that is not me.
I'd like to discuss it without being called insane or off topic.

I'm trying to explain to people also that I saw somewhere on here that people are getting numb limbs from MXE. This is not normal or good. You need to change something.
You might dissociate from your feelings (ie maybe feel like you can't feel things), but you shouldn't have numb limbs.

Once I got a numb face from MXE use that lasted a few days. I stopped using it for two weeks until it went away.

That is some form of noticing an issue and controlling it.

I cannot condone daily use of this stuff in any way.

I had no idea MXE was going to open my third eye.
Perhaps if I knew that before I took it, I may not have taken it. DMT didn't do it for me. DMT is too much for me.

The third eye is a hell of a burden! I'd like it to go away but I don't think that's what it wants to do. lol

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

I have seen no evidence that this drug in particular poses a psychological threat to users unique from other dissociatives, and the life changing experience is a possibility present in all Psychedelics, different people get it with different ones. It's what a lot of folks come into the whole realm PD to find.

If you were happy with reality as it was, then why the need for the mind expanding drugs? Why do you continue to take them? If you feel that any of the insights you have gained are burdensome, take a break from the drugs so you have time to integrate them into your life. Integration is an extremely important step that a lot of folks neglect, if you desire to affect change in yourself.

As for numb face, there is an adverse reactions and side-effects thread. General HR about MXE is appropriate here or in a subthread of greater relevancy. If you want to make a new thread, it ought to justify its own existence pretty well or it'll be merged/closed.

Anyhow, enough of this off-topic talk from me, back to your dissociated revelry (and valuable HR contributions), you scalawags.

 

[eye_wide_open]

I didn't ask to have my third eye opened. I just wanted to get hgh. And yes my life here is leSs than perfect
Now it wants me to feed on information.
Perhaps now that I see it that way I my slow down some.

1didn't touch that last bag of
Mexi for a few days before I threw it away also.
(while paranoid on something else)

I don't think that means it can just go away. I think it's something I have to learn to live with now. It's not going to just go away now that it has happened. Hehe
I think you need brainwashing to close your eyes like you were preconditioned In school to do. Once they open you cant control what it does.