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Your fiendishness vs your kids on drugs

Atelier3

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 28, 2019
Messages
141
I’m curious as to whether anyone has experience being a drug fiend but at the same time worried about their under-age kids taking drugs secretly.

My kids don’t know I do drugs now but know I did way back when (I have provided many cautionary tales) - however I suspect they are well into avid experimenting. I’d rather they didn’t despite the hypocrisy that obviously entails.

What did you do?
 

Larimar

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 16, 2018
Messages
466
Location
East Coast USA
My Hubby is a pot head so we are ok with that, they don’t seem interested in drugs . But we def try to warn them about pills and how dangerous they are , that pills aren’t what they used to be and that they could die from 1 pill with all the fent around nowadays . They are 18, 15 and we also have a 1 year old , but yeah with the teenagers we try to be open and hope they would trust us to ask any question etc. I have also let it be known if they ever need a ride if they are drunk to please call me that they won’t get in trouble . I let them try my wine sometimes and have Champaign on New Year’s Eve and 1 time on vacation I know they drank a few of my mangoritas and I didn’t really care , they know I’m ok with it if they are home and safe . I try to give advice like if they ever drink too much to eat some crackers or water etc. They are teens and I know they are gonna experiment but I just want them to be smart about it and be safe and know they can come to me with any problems and know that I’ll be there for them no matter what .
 

ChemicallyEnhanced

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 29, 2018
Messages
3,561
Location
UK
My Hubby is a pot head so we are ok with that, they don’t seem interested in drugs . But we def try to warn them about pills and how dangerous they are , that pills aren’t what they used to be and that they could die from 1 pill with all the fent around nowadays . They are 18, 15 and we also have a 1 year old , but yeah with the teenagers we try to be open and hope they would trust us to ask any question etc. I have also let it be known if they ever need a ride if they are drunk to please call me that they won’t get in trouble . I let them try my wine sometimes and have Champaign on New Year’s Eve and 1 time on vacation I know they drank a few of my mangoritas and I didn’t really care , they know I’m ok with it if they are home and safe . I try to give advice like if they ever drink too much to eat some crackers or water etc. They are teens and I know they are gonna experiment but I just want them to be smart about it and be safe and know they can come to me with any problems and know that I’ll be there for them no matter what .
You sound like an awesome mom :)
 

Atelier3

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 28, 2019
Messages
141
I'm sure they know about drugs at that age I wouldn't allow them to know I use until 18 cuz when kids get mad they tend to throw things in your face n I'd only promote weed and psychedelics to my kids I'd make those okay hoping they wouldnt venture into anything else
I’ve agreed to ignore weed use so long at is not excessive in return for agreement not to take pills, powders or crystals but I fear my trust in the agreement is misplaced and my kid is hitting stims one day and codeine the next.
 

kush407smoke

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 25, 2019
Messages
524
Well if that's the case n that's what your kid is doing the i hate to say it but it's to late n they'll havta find out for themself

N weed is basically legal everywhere they are working on a bill now to make it federally legal in most states you just get a ticket if you have an oz or less so even if the weed smoking is excessive it's truly not that big of a deal it's more of a money problem

If your kid was doing stims and codiene there should be signs like mood issues or failing classes in school or just generally caring less about life in general should be easy to spot
 

ChemicallyEnhanced

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Joined
Apr 29, 2018
Messages
3,561
Location
UK
Awe thanks, I do my best ! I feel like the parents that are super strict and tell kids just to say no , end up with kids that go crazy with partying when they can and do stupid things .
Yeah, my parents were super-strict and when I did start drinking and using drugs and partying I went completely off the rails and crazy with it. I think treating your kids they way you are is best because they learn to use in moderation and how to be safe when they do use. Plus it creates a feeling of trust making them more likely to come to you if they need anything or have a problem.
 

Cream Gravy?

Moderator: PD, DC
Staff member
Joined
Jan 28, 2014
Messages
6,712
I gave my cat some nip the other day because he wouldn't let me smoke pot in peace, and now he's a junkie.

Catnip. NOT EVEN ONCE.
 

Effect

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 6, 2012
Messages
2,256
Location
Boston
When I read the thread title I thought it was gonna be about people neglecting their children's needs in order to find and use drugs. Glad I'm wrong.
 

svacheme3

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 19, 2007
Messages
695
Location
NYC
I gave my cat some nip the other day because he wouldn't let me smoke pot in peace, and now he's a junkie.

Catnip. NOT EVEN ONCE.
My friends dog was a legit junkie. He was a massive oxy addict back in the day going through a dozen or so oxy 30s/80s a day; he'd crush them to snort, his fingers had powder on them, and the dog started licking them. Then became desperate to lick them, always jumping at him whenever the pills came out. Got to the point where he'd just give the dog tiny chunks of pills and it would become clearly dopesick when he did. It was actually sad.

More on topic, he went through great lengths to hide things from his tween son (and had two adult sons that were full blown junkies that he borrowed/bought/sold pills with, and his 80+ year old parents were the same lol) but that kid knew what was up. I got to know the kid because I drove him to/from school every day since my pos friend would be too busy with the pills/coke and just make him bike the several miles, and he didn't experiment then and was pretty anti-drug, I moved and lost contact with all of them though, hope it stayed that way.
 

Meth novice 79

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
441
I’m Mum to a 24 and 21 year old (and 13 but that worry is still to come)
When I caught my oldest smoking a joint in the front garden late one night i thought I’d I feel like the biggest FAILURE as a parent.
I had these grand ideas of what parenting should look like, how I should handle certain things and how I WOULD NEVER do them the way my own mother did blah blah

In that very moment though, seeing my kid hanging off a spliff, I grew up.
It was like a culmination of so many pointless things I’d worried about over the years as a Mum (do they have clean faces? Are they swearing around the old folk? Are we keeping up appearances?)
My oldest baby was so much like me.
Such high expectations of herself, always pushing harder and harder wanting to do better.
By age 14 she had won two global contracts and was travelling the country launching her modelling career.
By 16 she was modeling in Paris.

Then late in her 16th year it all hit her hard.
She swallowed 50 antidepressants, began cutting her wrists and legs to ribbon. Starved herself to 43 kilo.

I had to have her put in a psych ward just to keep her ALIVE.
I had no answers and every day I woke and wondered if this would be the day she would go.

Then she found weed lol
Depression and suicidal ideation gone.
Anxiety and self harming gone
And the kid had munchies so bad she put 10 kilo on in a week.

I’d buy it for her.
Encourage keeping her use to a minimum so her tolerance wouldn’t climb.
And I have no regrets.


Neither of my older kids are interested in hard drugs. My girl smokes her pot and my boy drinks a bit too much and they’re content.
For now

But IF the time comes they want to try more, I’ll do the same as I did with the weed.
Keep them at home where I can monitor them and encourage responsibile and safe Use.
 

Atelier3

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 28, 2019
Messages
141
Keep them at home where I can monitor them and encourage responsibile and safe Use.
I'm very sorry to hear about your daughter but happy to hear she has things sorted with your help.

I get that strategy with weed and don't have any major problems with teenagers smoking so long as it does not dominate their lives before they've even started. To manage responsible use of harder drugs first requires the kids to own up to what their doing which is unlikely to happen given a lifetime of me going on about how BAD drugs are and how they almost (lol) ruined my life before I woke up to myself and went straight.

It would be a big thing for both of us to put all our cards on the table at the same time and then develop an open 'only at home and with proper harm minimisation' arrangement. Probably impossible for each of us. I would feel a total failure as a parent and not just as a human being as I do a lot of the time anyway. I wonder if I would feel differently if drugs were legalised?
 

Meth novice 79

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
441
I'm very sorry to hear about your daughter but happy to hear she has things sorted with your help.

I get that strategy with weed and don't have any major problems with teenagers smoking so long as it does not dominate their lives before they've even started. To manage responsible use of harder drugs first requires the kids to own up to what their doing which is unlikely to happen given a lifetime of me going on about how BAD drugs are and how they almost (lol) ruined my life before I woke up to myself and went straight.

It would be a big thing for both of us to put all our cards on the table at the same time and then develop an open 'only at home and with proper harm minimisation' arrangement. Probably impossible for each of us. I would feel a total failure as a parent and not just as a human being as I do a lot of the time anyway. I wonder if I would feel differently if drugs were legalised?
Yeah I hear ya. I genuinely thought I’d be ‘that’ parent too until I was actually faced with it and even though it’s ‘only’ weed it’s still supporting your child in partaking in illegal and possibly dangerous activity, a line I never thought I’d be able to comfortably cross.

And yes, she developed severe anxiety/depression while working in the modelling industry. It’s a ridiculously vain industry, obviously, with photographers, employers and agencies talking about models as tho they aren’t even present and are just clothes horses.
No previous drug use
 

TripSitterNZ

Bluelighter
Joined
May 6, 2019
Messages
973
Location
Middle Earth
Drug use was rampant among my cousins and some uncles. My more distant relations were heavily involved in drugs during the 70s and 80s leading to one of them getting executed by some cooked cunts who robbed him of $100k during a drug deal. So i grew up in household that didn't want any drugs in it or around it as my folks had seen the worst side of drugs and did not want that for me but alas life is fucking hard and i was a full blown user of various substances starting at 13.
 

Phoenix_rising

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 22, 2010
Messages
429
My son is 9 and has mild autism. I try to educate him the best I can about the world of drugs and hope it gives him the knowledge to make informed decisions when he gets older.

I'm a realist and understand that people experiment. I know drugs aren't going to go away, but I really don't want my boy to go through what I have and to limit his life by making it over complicated using drugs,especially as he's vulnerable anyway.

Is 9 too young? I don't think so. I believe as soon as they can ask questions and understand the answers then that's the right time. I also don't believe it hypocritical to warn about the dangers and pitfalls of using drugs when doing it yourself,who better qualified to do so?

Peace out and shine on.
 
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