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You might be a junkie if... v. Ridin' the vein train

PtahTek said:
WTF is it, Lady?
<3
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My rig kept clotting. All fucking night. Very angry squirting of needle.

I relapsed for two days. I only had one dirty needle. It was very ugly. 10 days clean

I bleached the walls so my child wouldn't be exposed to residue. I missed some. Lots of shame.
 
Shady's Fox said:
talkin walls
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Damn... word.
LadyAlkaline said:
Very angry squirting of needle.
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Ohhhh. So sorry to hear of the plight. Ya know, even at my worst junky-fied-edness (?) I refused to use a "dirty" rig. I used to own a set of the old-school glass rigs of various sizes that I kept atop the gas-tank of my scooter in a leather pouch and was proud of it... lol talk about good times.
Thanks for the insight and hope this all plays out for the best.
Please be safe. Would absolutely hate to read that veins have been blown (or worse) from something as correctable as a fouled point,
Love ya and wish us all well.
<3
 
PtahTek said:
Damn... word.

Ohhhh. So sorry to hear of the plight. Ya know, even at my worst junky-fied-edness (?) I refused to use a "dirty" rig. I used to own a set of the old-school glass rigs of various sizes that I kept atop the gas-tank of my scooter in a leather pouch and was proud of it... lol talk about good times.
Thanks for the insight and hope this all plays out for the best.
Please be safe. Would absolutely hate to read that veins have been blown (or worse) from something as correctable as a fouled point,
Love ya and wish us all well.
<3
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Oh naw, I did some pretty ole janky shit back in the day w/ rigs. Usually I would at least bleach and boiling/hot water it. Glad to not really be dealing with that particular affliction as badly anymore. Although, once in a blue moon I've been taking one.
 
deficiT said:
Although, once in a blue moon I've been taking one.
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Yeah, I can and do identify with this. Using the once in a while method drastically decreases the dangers of using the IV route. Problem is, though, is that it only take the one fucked up bag to take a MF out... this is not an option for me but if things all of a sudden take a sharp (no pun) mental/emotional turn for the worst I can easily see myself slipping into the comfort of being numb and be damned all the effort made to keep afloat. Only thing I can see causing this is the loss of my loved one. Yes... only one individual would have this kinda impact. Seen enough death to become callused to the thought of it.
Shoulda been gone long ago but niether "god" nor "the devil" seem to want anything to do with me. Fuck 'em.
To be so life promoting I sure am preoccupied with death, no? WTF.
Peace
 
PtahTek said:
Yeah, I can and do identify with this. Using the once in a while method drastically decreases the dangers of using the IV route. Problem is, though, is that it only take the one fucked up bag to take a MF out... this is not an option for me but if things all of a sudden take a sharp (no pun) mental/emotional turn for the worst I can easily see myself slipping into the comfort of being numb and be damned all the effort made to keep afloat. Only thing I can see causing this is the loss of my loved one. Yes... only one individual would have this kinda impact. Seen enough death to become callused to the thought of it.
Shoulda been gone long ago but niether "god" nor "the devil" seem to want anything to do with me. Fuck 'em.
To be so life promoting I sure am preoccupied with death, no? WTF.
Peace
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FTR, although I know it presents it's own problems, I've been doing a crystal shot every once in a while, not an H one, although I'm still up in the junkie thread lol. 13 days no Subs at this point, and haven't touched H in about 3 weeks, even that was just a one off. No alcohol since June. Everything else is going good but the tweak and the occasional poke. I thought I had completely gotten away from the ROA as well, but I've had a resurgence of sorts recently.

Which isn't really any better, but I feel people don't overdose nearly as easy with it. Doing it just once at a time has eliminated for the most part me "fucking myself up too bad", really I don't like it to be around, but it keeps coming around, unasked for kinda.

I probably got some work to do on my boundaries, but I'm doing better than I was a few months ago.
 
PtahTek said:
Ohhhh. So sorry to hear of the plight. Ya know, even at my worst junky-fied-edness (?) I refused to use a "dirty" rig.
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Yeah for years I said the same thing.

Edit: being separated from my husband for 10 months, lied on by children I adopted, nearly losing my 3 year old son for something I didn't do and then the death of two people who were closest to me pushed me over the edge. When I say dirty needle I mean old and dull, not full of blood
 
deficiT said:
I thought I had completely gotten away from the ROA as well
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The only way I finally was able to stop shooting was after everyone of my major superficial veins collapsed and all I have left is spider and varicose veins everywhere. Sad, I know. But, everything happens for a reason I suppose. Took me years to stop the obsession and fantasizing and ideation of doing it again.
 
Deru said:
The only way I finally was able to stop shooting was after everyone of my major superficial veins collapsed and all I have left is spider and varicose veins everywhere. Sad, I know. But, everything happens for a reason I suppose. Took me years to stop the obsession and fantasizing and ideation of doing it again.
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Yeah I made a point to not branch out too far, but certainly did damage to my left arm. Right arm still got the good pipeline though.
 
Bonch said:
When you can hit a vein far better than any nurse
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This would fit the bill.
LadyAlkaline said:
Yeah for years I said the same thing.
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Again... I feel bad for ya, LA. I hope and "pray" that everything evens out eventually... before something terrible this way comes.
There was and is no judgements, just the opposite: Empathy and understanding. Just wish you weren't in this dark place. :cry:
Love you always,
<3
 
LadyAlkaline said:
O
I don't steal bikes but I had weapons and booby traps everywhere
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in my defense, i actually would stand watch while someone else was stealing the bikes.

in my head at the time locating, helping, storing, and selling was all fine because i didn't do the physical theft but the police thought different. thank fuck i was in rehab by the time they caught me cos they took a sympathetic view to that and dropped the case.
 
PtahTek said:
This would fit the bill.

Again... I feel bad for ya, LA. I hope and "pray" that everything evens out eventually... before something terrible this way comes.
There was and is no judgements, just the opposite: Empathy and understanding. Just wish you weren't in this dark place. :cry:
Love you always,
<3
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Love you too boo ❤️❤️❤️❤️
 
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