Harm Reduction ya I was shooting Ambien.. (and lost my arm)

[HelloFelonKitty]

Im a cautionary tale so plz take heed. You just cant ever go back once you get a taste for the rig. Im 36, been shooting dope since i was 14. Veins shot to shit. Was just hospitalized for a week, banging in my damn neck, got an abscess aroind my larynx& thyroid. Had fun with the IV in the hospital (dope&coke) but now ive been shooting in my goddamn face. I have tracks on my face. Fuck. The dr at the methadone clinic said he aint never seen no shit like that in 35 yr of practice. Best part is that im an escort so this is a huge problem for me. Im going to die in addiction and i just dont give a fuck. I was young& thought it was all fuckin gravy in my 20s-early 30s- the body is a crazily resilient creation. No problems then but. But...its xmas morning. Shot a few grams of blow last night, took a handful of ambien, drank my take homes sleepwalking and wanting to die , being asleep and retarded. Go in my lockbox 15 min ago and i am fucked! Shit. I hate this fuckin shit. All of it. If i knew a third of what i knew now back when i was fuckin around in middle school- i would have said fuck this lowlife bullshit. But thats the thing with life; If id have read this back then, id have said ," that bitch is an idiot! Im (smarter, built better, fill in the blank). It wouldve all been the same.
Anyway (that went wayward -fast! ) if you want to be scarred up, look like hell, be hospitalized alot, and feel lowly as fuck til you die then yep, bang drugs Merry fuckin Christmas

 

[Gorillaboy21]

Im a cautionary tale so plz take heed. You just cant ever go back once you get a taste for the rig. Im 36, been shooting dope since i was 14. Veins shot to shit. Was just hospitalized for a week, banging in my damn neck, got an abscess aroind my larynx& thyroid. Had fun with the IV in the hospital (dope&coke) but now ive been shooting in my goddamn face. I have tracks on my face. Fuck. The dr at the methadone clinic said he aint never seen no shit like that in 35 yr of practice. Best part is that im an escort so this is a huge problem for me. Im going to die in addiction and i just dont give a fuck. I was young& thought it was all fuckin gravy in my 20s-early 30s- the body is a crazily resilient creation. No problems then but. But...its xmas morning. Shot a few grams of blow last night, took a handful of ambien, drank my take homes sleepwalking and wanting to die , being asleep and retarded. Go in my lockbox 15 min ago and i am fucked! Shit. I hate this fuckin shit. All of it. If i knew a third of what i knew now back when i was fuckin around in middle school- i would have said fuck this lowlife bullshit. But thats the thing with life; If id have read this back then, id have said ," that bitch is an idiot! Im (smarter, built better, fill in the blank). It wouldve all been the same.
Anyway (that went wayward -fast! ) if you want to be scarred up, look like hell, be hospitalized alot, and feel lowly as fuck til you die then yep, bang drugs Merry fuckin Christmas

im sorry to hear that :[ i hope things get better for you. As fucked up as it is shooting in your face you could be a super nurse! shooting in your face finding a vein there thats professional !! much respect junkie to another junkie lol merry xmas just dont be sick at least on the holidays unless trying to detox!

 

[LucidSDreamr]

my friend died from an infection from his injection site that spread into his blood and heart. I used to do it everyday....for some stupid ass reason i'll still do it like twice a year and I always feel disgusting when I do it and the high isn't even as good as snorting them (roxys) for some reason now that I don't IV regularly anymore.

 

[roxi2873]

Wow, I just found this thread for the first time. I've been sober for 7 months on subs but I was an opioid addict for about 5 years. I mainly snorted oxys and heroin or are percs. Ambien was always one of my favorite drugs to binge on as I had a script for 21 10mg pills every month. The whole script would usually only last me 3 days. I only ever shot up any drug maybe 6 or 7 times... I was afraid of diseases and only did it when I had a brand new syringe. I was stupid enough to try it with Ambien one time. I double filtered it with cotton and made sure there was nothing floating around in it that I could see. I hit a vein on the top of my left hand. I remember my whole hand felt like it was swollen for a few days but luckily it went away. That was the last time I ever IVd anything and I'm so grateful I never got into the whole IV routine. My friend lost use of his left arm for about 2 months after he shot heroin and fell asleep with the tie still on his upper arm and needle hanging off him. He woke up 4 hours later with his arm all curled up and black and blue from not getting blood flow for 4 hours. He couldn't move his hand or do anything. He now has about 60% function of his arm and hand but it's been 6 months and it's probably not going to get any better. I hope the OP is doing well wherever he is. If this stops one person from losing a limb or dying from shooting Ambien then I'm glad he posted what happened to him. Everything thinks it'll never happen to them....Until it does.

 

[Whosajiggawaaa]

It does my head in that I read and responded to this thread but started shooting oxycontin (old formulas no micron filters) and even dormonoct (loprazolam - did that twice) and heroin after that anyway. thankfully my IV drug use lasted only for around 2 months before I quit all substances with the aid of methadone +MMt and rehab.
I am thankfully in the best physical shape of my life. I really needed to reread this. Gave me some gratitude. This coulda been me, I had an abscess/ulcer on my left arm that got pretty gnarley that I didn't treat for 2 weeks but miraculously started healing eventually in november of last year.
Cavebear I hope you are well.

 

[Erikmen]

my friend died from an infection from his injection site that spread into his blood and heart. I used to do it everyday....for some stupid ass reason i'll still do it like twice a year and I always feel disgusting when I do it and the high isn't even as good as snorting them (roxys) for some reason now that I don't IV regularly anymore.

Yes I realized that whenever someone close to us die like that we tend to change our habits. And that's great that you have managed to decrease the usage, change the MO. For some people it's terribly difficult to lose the fun in doing it but remain not capable to stop with the dangerous habits.

 

[Erikmen]

Im a cautionary tale so plz take heed. You just cant ever go back once you get a taste for the rig. Im 36, been shooting dope since i was 14. Veins shot to shit. Was just hospitalized for a week, banging in my damn neck, got an abscess aroind my larynx& thyroid. Had fun with the IV in the hospital (dope&coke) but now ive been shooting in my goddamn face. I have tracks on my face. Fuck. The dr at the methadone clinic said he aint never seen no shit like that in 35 yr of practice. Best part is that im an escort so this is a huge problem for me. Im going to die in addiction and i just dont give a fuck. I was young& thought it was all fuckin gravy in my 20s-early 30s- the body is a crazily resilient creation. No problems then but. But...its xmas morning. Shot a few grams of blow last night, took a handful of ambien, drank my take homes sleepwalking and wanting to die , being asleep and retarded. Go in my lockbox 15 min ago and i am fucked! Shit. I hate this fuckin shit. All of it. If i knew a third of what i knew now back when i was fuckin around in middle school- i would have said fuck this lowlife bullshit. But thats the thing with life; If id have read this back then, id have said ," that bitch is an idiot! Im (smarter, built better, fill in the blank). It wouldve all been the same.
Anyway (that went wayward -fast! ) if you want to be scarred up, look like hell, be hospitalized alot, and feel lowly as fuck til you die then yep, bang drugs Merry fuckin Christmas

Thank you for sharing. I'm really sorry to hear that. What are you planning to do now? Sometimes we tend to think somethings are impossible to be done but they aren't. In my case, for years and years I was simply too afraid to live life without opiates, without shooting up. Even benzos I thought it was literally impossible to quit them because they messed my mental life. But when you set your mind to do something which is taking your life away you just do it. It happens. And the things we thought to be impossible end up being crazily difficult to live with but way better than before. I imagined you have quit a few times or have tried a lot. For me it is the fear of going through the withdrawal and later not knowing how to deal with life using our resources only.

Wish you a Merry Christmas too. Keep in touch!

 

[CaveBear]

Hi everyone. I'm the OP. I'm still kickin. Havent touched a needle since this happened. I've been to rehab 3 times over the last 2 years though. Alcohol mostly, but then picked up a nasty meth habit in 2017 . I dont shoot it, smoke very rarely, but do line after line when I have the money. Its killing me. I'm clean tonight, but was on a 4 day run until Sunday around 4am when I did my last line. All I can say is I actually love the stuff. Its the greatest anti-depressant I've ever used. I rarely get all tweeky and paranoid, occasionally but its rare. Usually I just read, tons. I'm so focused and productive, its hard for me to stop using it......I dunno, but I gotta quit, I only weigh 130lbs tonight.

This pic is from last year. This is what drugs did to me in 9 years and I'm even 20lbs lighter today.........long fall and still falling, Its gotta end or it will end me. Peace all. - Bear

 

[Captain.Heroin]

It's really crazy to see you are still alive man. Stay strong. Try to get your life together if you want to live it, do you know what I mean? I've lost a lot of friends along the way and we'll want to know you're still with us.

Meth can be really addictive. Are you able to stop when you want to?

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

^studies show about the same self-administration rate between meth and amp. That's why they're in the same Schedule of legality, I would think, mostly.

I guess because in reality it's mostly the workers high up in the economic scale and the college kids that take pharmaceutical amp by month to accomplish a task, and the poor who smoke/snort/IV 100's of mgs and more of meth with traces of gun cleaner on it or the like. In the US.

 

[CaveBear]

It's really crazy to see you are still alive man. Stay strong. Try to get your life together if you want to live it, do you know what I mean? I've lost a lot of friends along the way and we'll want to know you're still with us.

Meth can be really addictive. Are you able to stop when you want to?

Thanks man. I do want to live my life, but my actions dont really show it I guess. I keep stopping and going to rehabs, I just dont follow through after rehab. I'll never quit fighting though...

As far as meth goes, yeah, I can stop and usually go on a 3-4 day binge then quit for 2-3 weeks, then binge, repeat. I dont like going more than 4 days though, I get tweaky as hell, see shadow people, I dont like that part at all...lol.