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Benzos xanax withdrawal. High dose. Need advice

M

Mindoor

Greenlighter
Joined
May 22, 2016
Messages
2
Kinda long, but im desperate for advice. So Ive been taking 6 mg a day of xanax for a little over a year. 2 mgs every 4-5 hours. Im not prescribed it, i was self medicating. But now they have become extremely scarce and people have started home pressing fake ones. So I've gone through a few days of wd's the last month and it was HELL. Had to do a few ER visits to get some ativan. And im embarrased to go back there. I wasnt honest for fear theyd turn me away. I just said panic attack. As of now I have a few bars left, but im so sick of this whole situation. I sincerely want to be done with this. But any type of rehab is out of the question. Not by me, my family. Ive been to rehab for heroin twice (4 years sober now, well from h) and I've made huge strides in my life. If my family found out about the xanax, everything I worked for would be gone in an instant and id be back on the street. Without a doubt. I have to do this on my own. But 2 weeks ago i tried to quit on my own self will and failed. The withdrawls were too much and i ended up going to the ER the second day. I know tapering fast doesnt work, i tried that. And i only have 4 bars. But i have 90 100mg gabapentin. So I guess ill get to my questions: If I go to the ER and tell them the truth, that ive been abusing xanax for a year at a high dose, will they give me enough whatever benzo to taper myself off slowly? Will they make me stay in-patient? Im on medi-cal so it takes a month just to get an appointment with my normal Dr so doing that is not possible, would urgent care taper me off slowly? Should i just exhaust my last bars then try the gabapentin at 900 mgs a day? Please any advice would help im at my wits end. Oh yeah im in california if that makes any difference.
 
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A hospital isn't going to give you much help; if you do somehow get into an inpatient facility, they'll just quickly taper you with librium and send you on your way, which is essentially a cold turkey stop.

I would recommend you try to find an addiction specialist or similiar specialist where you can explain your situation and hopefully get meidcation to do a (ideally) painless taper. Use valium or klonopin if you can. Or you can just go to a regular doctor, just tell him you have anxiety, and hope he gives you something to take "as needed."

I stopped benzos cold turkey after four years of use, and the first two months were brutal but I started getting on my feet after that. You'll have some explaining to do as to why you're just laying in bed all day for two months, though.
 
being honest with the hospital won't help in my opinion as they'll just suggest an inpatient detox and almost all inpatient detox's are way to fast anyway imo. the gabapentin will definitely help but you'll go thru those 90 pills pretty quickly as 900mg daily probably won't make you comfortable. may i suggest trying a slow taper using phenibut. lots and lots of exercise to relief the crippling anxiety and to hopefully tire out your body enough so you can get an hour or two of sleep a night.
 
Going cold turkey from 6mg alprazolam a day for 2 years can and most likely will kill you because of seizures etc.
You should do a slow taper, google the Ashton manual and try to find a doctor that'll help you.
 
^This. It's too risky at the dose you've been taking. Explain it to your family so they can help and don't find out the hard way that you had a set back. Get into a good detox and program. They aren't all alike. Find one that you believe has the right "amenities" for you (i.e.: CBT, NA, art, music therapy, etc.)
 
I'm using gabapentin right now for opiate and benzo withdrawal together smoking weed and took 600 mg 3 times a day but that's cause I tried it out first to see how it is and the tolerance grows with every dose you take literally but I think 1200 will be good at first take 300 every however many hours you feel is good but I still think real detox for you might be safer man 6 mg Xanax is high
 
Thanks for all your advice. Honestly id love to enter a program, but if my family finds out... I'm homeless again. Guaranteed. I've burnt this bridge, rebuilt it, and burnt it again time and time again. Last time they found out when i got out of jail my family gave up on me and completely cut me out of their life, my dad even drove me to LA and dropped me off on the street at a homeless shelter. Saying thats where i belong as an addict. They didnt accept me. I spent 6 months homeless AND SOBER out there until i got extradited by the police on a warrant. Did a year, now im out and in my familys good graces again. I cant risk it.. I have to do this on my own. Please dont think im disregarding your advice, i truly appreciate it. And i know the dangers of benzo wd cold turkey. But a slow taper would mean having a dr prescription. Something i do not have and am on medi-cal so it takes 1-3 months just to get an appointment. Ive seen 4 different drs over the last 3 years for my anxiety, but they all just blew me off. Nothing. And I'm actually diagnosed with social phobia and panic attacks, thats why i take such a high dose and like it so much, but i was 17 when i was diagnosed and my father didnt want me on any meds.. thats why i asked if urgent care would do anything. I know the hospital will just give me 10 ativan or whatever but that doesnt help! I tried to look up benzo withdrawl specialists but i cant find any. Plus im on medi-cal, and broke. So self pay isnt an option. It'd be a month or two before i even see them... idk.. i think im gonna just have to tough it out and hope the gabapentin keeps me alive. If i have a seizure ill just do the unthinkable and tell my family to take me to the ER... ugh why did i ever get on these damn things....
 
im sorry you're dealing with such a tough situation, did you consider ordering phenibut to taper with? the gabapentin should help if you take enough of it. i take 1200mg's every 4-6 hours and it's really helping with my heroin withdrawals. i haven't tried phenibut but have read about it being a great alternative to gabapentin or benzo's if you have some money and can have a friend order for you on the down low so your family doesn't find out. good luck, hang in. just remember, "this too shall pass"
 
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