• 💊 OTHER DRUGS 💊 Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads 1 Notable Threads 2
    Dangerous Combos Addiction Support
    Emergency Services Benzo Guide v.1
    Addiction Stories Scary Case Studies
    Biology, Pharmacology & Drugs 101
  • Select Your Topic Then Scroll Down
    Alcohol Bupe Benzos
    Cocaine Heroin Opioids
    RCs Stimulants Misc
    Harm Reduction All Topics Gabapentinoids
    Tired of your habit? Struggling to cope?
    Want to regain control or get sober?
    Visit our Recovery Support Forums

Benzos Xanax withdrawal complications. In need of help please!

I've been on benzos for 8 years and my pysch just cut me off cold turkey because of 2 missed appointments. Can he legally do that?
 
Rhonda39 said:
I've been on benzos for 8 years and my pysch just cut me off cold turkey because of 2 missed appointments. Can he legally do that?
Click to expand...

I don't know about the legality, but that's extremely dangerous, you could have a seizure and in the worst case die..
What benzo did you take and how much per day?
How many have you left?
But please make a new thread.
 
Day 5
Feeling good

It's gotta be because it was only a month of abuse. Benzos suck. Heroine is by far a better choice. I'd rather OD on H than WD from benzos again. Phan good luck.
 
yup 6 more days...still havent touched the atarax. its strange how weirded out i am about trying new pills...especially considering i've taken damn near EVERY damn drug on earth at some point in the past decade. i dunno i guess i always was pretty cautious about mixing pills tho. but the irony is at the same time i was popping lethal doses of opiates and benzos on a daily basis like i was bulletproof lol. even more ironic is how many times i've overdosed and dodged the bullet of death and now the thing thats killin me is this fucking withdrawal. for fucks sake i've chewed on a 100mg fentanyl patch...yes...you read correctly i fucking CHEWED a 100mg fentanyl patch for 6 hours until i passed out with the fucking patch in my mouth then woke up puking blood everywhere. ah nostalgia...anywho i'd seriously rather relive that day over this fucking withdrawal.
 
pahn said:
yup 6 more days...still havent touched the atarax. its strange how weirded out i am about trying new pills...especially considering i've taken damn near EVERY damn drug on earth at some point in the past decade. i dunno i guess i always was pretty cautious about mixing pills tho. but the irony is at the same time i was popping lethal doses of opiates and benzos on a daily basis like i was bulletproof lol. even more ironic is how many times i've overdosed and dodged the bullet of death and now the thing thats killin me is this fucking withdrawal. for fucks sake i've chewed on a 100mg fentanyl patch...yes...you read correctly i fucking CHEWED a 100mg fentanyl patch for 6 hours until i passed out with the fucking patch in my mouth then woke up puking blood everywhere. ah nostalgia...anywho i'd seriously rather relive that day over this fucking withdrawal.
Click to expand...


Again, TOTALLY understand. I was the same, taking ridiculous quantifies of benzos and opiates, alcohol and psych drugs plus whatever I could get my hands on I wouldn't even question. Bullet proof. But in acute Benzo wirhrawal I was SO opposed to take anything unless It was a benzo. You just feel like death and can't tisk feeling any worse even though it doesn't seem possible that you could! Hang In there.

Oldmanbenzo, good, I hope it stays that way. I did have some pretty serious withdrawals and came close to having a seizure after going cold turkey off maybe 6 weeks use. Nothing compared to coming off much larger and longer habits but still awful. I hope it stays that way for you. I always found the first and even the second week fine, week 3 was when it all went rapidly downhill. But pplenty of people come out pretty ok so fingers crossed your own pf them, especially as you've done it before. Agree, give me opiate or anything withsrawal over benzo anyday. And SSRI's, not quite as bad but close
 
Its just so damn weird how i feel so damn terrible now. the first two weeks were a fucking cake walk compared to now (other than the terrifying seizures). The first couple weeks i didnt have trouble sleeping, didnt have the heart attack chest and arm pain, didnt feel constantly dizzy...honestly other than the seizures the only things that bothered me were the cravings, headaches, and anxiety which i can easily live with. just seems to me like the paws are WAY worse...when i kicked suboxone years ago i experienced the same thing. i got thru the first week like it was nothing then i felt like COMPLETE ass for months. i am soooo not looking forward to kicking the subs again. even tho i know it wont be as bad as this, i still fucking dread it. i just wish i could fucking sleep. i desperately need to go back to work, but with this debilitating insomnia i fear its gonna be next to impossible. i usually have to be awake for at least 24 hrs straight before i can even attempt to force myself to sleep, and even then id be lucky to get 4 hours of nightmarish sleep before i jolt awake. i basically have to be so tired that my body cant physically be awake anymore and usually by that point my anxiety is so fucking bad i cant possibly sleep with a heart rate of 20000! im going in to the hospital for testing on my arm in 2 days. it rly sucks my left arm is constantly so weak i can barely use it. i feel like ive had a fucking stroke and my left arm is dead which REALLY fucking blows because the only two things that bring solace to me is playing guitar and video games which i cant possibly do one handed...not like i have the motivation to do either activities anyway. thats the other thing, i just completely lost interest in doing any of the things that used to make me happy...i know thats like a raging symptom of depression so i figure thats relatively normal during wd. sigh...guess i'll keep watching tv for the 33rd day straight...also bad news...i believe i will be losing my interwebs soon. cant really pay the bill while unemployed, so if i mysteriously dissapear sometime next week thats why. thanks again AnythingEverything! you should be a counselor bro!
 
I hope you don't disappear, it's so important to have a lifeline which forums can be. It helps to be able to talk, do you have any IRL support?

Gawsh, I really hope you get on that taper soon, it truly sucks going through this. Last time I did it was 3 years ago and it's still so real, which is why I can relate to Everything you're going through. That sucks re not being able to play guitar. My husband is a muso (guitar, bass, writes music, plays anhthing really) and the kids and I sing and I know how therapeutic playing music is. Hopefully you'll be able to get back to some kind of normal soon.

Haha, people always think im a guy on this forum ;). I should put up a profile pic lol. All good! And thanks, I actually did start a drug and alcohol couneelling course once before going into the fitness industry and I've been thinking about restarting it.

Argh, so Suboxone withdrawals are nearly as bad? So not looking forwqrd to that as im sure I will find the same as I did for benzos. Plus im on a stupid dose (32mg) so it's a long way down from here. Im sure I can get down to 16 without much pain at all and then even 8 but after that im worried. Luckily my dr is pretty laid back and has allowed me to go at my own pace (hence this latest Benzo taper still going at nearly the 3 year mark.)

Keep us updated if you can. Definitely helps to vent and get it out.
 
well...i ended back up in the ER yesterday. I was feeling awesome all day, then after i ate dinner i was relaxing watching tv and suddenly the sharpest pain ive ever felt suddenly appeared in my chest. it hit me so hard i could barely move. i was so fucking dizzy i thought i was gonna have a heart attack or stroke for sure. i went in to the ER for the 8th fucking time this month and the doc was bein a complete dick as usual and was like "havent you been here a few times recently for the same thing?" i was like "YES! AND IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE! I KEEP TELLING YOU SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY FUCKING WRONG!" he said "didnt we already take a cat scan of your chest? i'll go look at the file and then go from there..." and he was brushing me off like i was over exaggerating, then promptly came back apologizing saying "im so sorry! i thought we already ran these tests! ill get everything ordered!" then they started taking bloodwork, and shot me up wit iodine and gave me a cat scan. keep in mind i was at the ER for 10 hours and felt the debilitating sharp pain in my chest the ENTIRE fucking time and was so dizzy i couldnt even handle it. when the doc came back from looking at the catscan he had a somber look on his face and he sat down next to me and said "ok...i dont want you to worry about this..." my heart sank. shit...this isnt going to be good. "well we found you have several swollen lymph nodes in your chest. you also have a few calcium deposits formed on the left side of your lungs." he also said that i have costochondritis. he said that all of these were fairly common and tried reassuring me that they could be taken care of with no treatment. he basically just told me to take high doses of ibuprofen for pain, and to come back in if it gets worse, and to get a cat scan every few months to make sure it doesnt get worse than it already is in which case they might have to operate to remove them. im fucking terrified. im kinda scared because i've been snorting my suboxone for YEARS, and worry that the calcium deposits and/or the swollen lymph nodes could be because of it. i stopped snorting, but i fear the damage is already done. my primary doc also suggested i start physical therapy for my left arm/shoulder pain which im starting next week, but i have a feeling its connected to the costochondritis. what pisses me off more than anything is that it seriously took 8 fucking visits to the ER, INCLUDING 2 ambulance rides to figure this shit out. this just shows the outrageous incompetence of the doctors in the shitty small town i live in. like seriously wtf??? if something ever happens to me im going to fucking die because they dont have a god damn clue what theyre doing. im terrified. honestly i can tolerate the chest and arm pain most of the time, but this dizziness i've had has been out of control the past week. its so bad i can barely fucking walk. this cant be normal, and i dont know what to do. i constantly think im going to pass out and or have a stroke or heart attack, and the docs wont do shit for me unless im actually in the process of dying and i live alone so unfortunately i dont have the luxury of waiting until something happens or i'll die because i live alone and dont have a car. i know dizziness is a symptom of wd but its been 5 weeks now and the dizziness is worse than its ever been. it feels like my right eye cant keep up with my left eye at times, and i constantly feel like im spinning in circles. i do have otc meclizine which i know is supposed to help with dizziness, but im afraid to take it because according to the internet it has a SEVERE drug interaction with suboxone. it seems like anything that can remotely help my wd has a moderate to severe interaction wit subs. all i want to do is take meclizine, atarax, and diphenhydramine but im scared shitless to touch any of them. even if they dont harm me they all say possible effects with the interaction worsen the symptoms i want to take them for in the first place!!! i dont know wtf to do anymore. im a fucking wreck and ive literally only gotten 4 hours of sleep the past 3 days. and im so fucking paranoid now i have this irrational fear that one of these days im going to fall asleep and not wake up :(
 
I was on a daily high dose of Xanax for ten years. When I went to rehab in 2010, they cut me off cold turkey and only gave me antisiezure meds. The real hell didn't manifest itself until around day 40, and then the shit hit the fan. I had so many siezures, and that lasted for about 3 months until I could get the siezure meds straightened out. My memory was literally gone, I lived alone and one of my parents had to be with me at all times. I couldn't cook because I would forget that I was cooking and catch the kitchen on fire. I couldn't hold a conversation because I couldn't remember the original topic, nor could I remember what I want to say as I was talking. My body hurt, it felt like I had electricity under my skin. My hear got (and still is) super sensitive, as are my eyes to light, and my sense of smell. My anxiety was insane for about a year - constant panic attacks where my heart rate would hover around 180, my blood pressure would skyrocket to 180/110 (it's normally 90/60), and I couldn't control my emotions. I constantly vomited, and was always in physical pain. I am sharing this because if you can't get a hold of benzos to taper, you are going to need supportive medications. Get an antisiezure Med, I've tried Dilantin and Depakote. I did Topamax for a few but couldn't tolerate the side effects along with withdrawal. Also get a script for Indural (propranolol), it's nonaddictive and helps tremendously with anxiety. Kratom also helps when you're desperate for a pick me up, but use it sparingly because you will need pick me ups, and you do t want to get tolerant. I haven't touched a benzo since 2010, and it does get better. 2 years after I quit I was able to go back to work, through it was hard. It's now been 6 years and I am finally beginning to feel more normal. The biggest thing I notice is that my senses are still super sensitive - it's very unpleasant. I do battle bouts of anxiety, but it's gotten so much better. Benzo withdrawal forced me to learn how to deal with anxiety on my own, which I guess is a good thing. I am finally beginning to feel pleasure more consistently, but still have low periods. I wish you the best of luck OP.
 
pahn said:
well...i ended back up in the ER yesterday. I was feeling awesome all day, then after i ate dinner i was relaxing watching tv and suddenly the sharpest pain ive ever felt suddenly appeared in my chest. it hit me so hard i could barely move. i was so fucking dizzy i thought i was gonna have a heart attack or stroke for sure. i went in to the ER for the 8th fucking time this month and the doc was bein a complete dick as usual and was like "havent you been here a few times recently for the same thing?" i was like "YES! AND IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE! I KEEP TELLING YOU SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY FUCKING WRONG!" he said "didnt we already take a cat scan of your chest? i'll go look at the file and then go from there..." and he was brushing me off like i was over exaggerating, then promptly came back apologizing saying "im so sorry! i thought we already ran these tests! ill get everything ordered!" then they started taking bloodwork, and shot me up wit iodine and gave me a cat scan. keep in mind i was at the ER for 10 hours and felt the debilitating sharp pain in my chest the ENTIRE fucking time and was so dizzy i couldnt even handle it. when the doc came back from looking at the catscan he had a somber look on his face and he sat down next to me and said "ok...i dont want you to worry about this..." my heart sank. shit...this isnt going to be good. "well we found you have several swollen lymph nodes in your chest. you also have a few calcium deposits formed on the left side of your lungs." he also said that i have costochondritis. he said that all of these were fairly common and tried reassuring me that they could be taken care of with no treatment. he basically just told me to take high doses of ibuprofen for pain, and to come back in if it gets worse, and to get a cat scan every few months to make sure it doesnt get worse than it already is in which case they might have to operate to remove them. im fucking terrified. im kinda scared because i've been snorting my suboxone for YEARS, and worry that the calcium deposits and/or the swollen lymph nodes could be because of it. i stopped snorting, but i fear the damage is already done. my primary doc also suggested i start physical therapy for my left arm/shoulder pain which im starting next week, but i have a feeling its connected to the costochondritis. what pisses me off more than anything is that it seriously took 8 fucking visits to the ER, INCLUDING 2 ambulance rides to figure this shit out. this just shows the outrageous incompetence of the doctors in the shitty small town i live in. like seriously wtf??? if something ever happens to me im going to fucking die because they dont have a god damn clue what theyre doing. im terrified. honestly i can tolerate the chest and arm pain most of the time, but this dizziness i've had has been out of control the past week. its so bad i can barely fucking walk. this cant be normal, and i dont know what to do. i constantly think im going to pass out and or have a stroke or heart attack, and the docs wont do shit for me unless im actually in the process of dying and i live alone so unfortunately i dont have the luxury of waiting until something happens or i'll die because i live alone and dont have a car. i know dizziness is a symptom of wd but its been 5 weeks now and the dizziness is worse than its ever been. it feels like my right eye cant keep up with my left eye at times, and i constantly feel like im spinning in circles. i do have otc meclizine which i know is supposed to help with dizziness, but im afraid to take it because according to the internet it has a SEVERE drug interaction with suboxone. it seems like anything that can remotely help my wd has a moderate to severe interaction wit subs. all i want to do is take meclizine, atarax, and diphenhydramine but im scared shitless to touch any of them. even if they dont harm me they all say possible effects with the interaction worsen the symptoms i want to take them for in the first place!!! i dont know wtf to do anymore. im a fucking wreck and ive literally only gotten 4 hours of sleep the past 3 days. and im so fucking paranoid now i have this irrational fear that one of these days im going to fall asleep and not wake up :(
Click to expand...

As I was reading your thread I was thinking costochondritis because I remember the sharp chest pains if moved wrong too fast especially when laying on my back. The first time I had it lasted for months, the second time just a couple weeks. Good luck in your recovery.
 
i know that costochondritis can cause the chest/back/shoulder/neck pain, but is it possible that its also the explanation for my horrible arm pain and arm weakness? i seriously have barely been able to move my left arm for weeks. it hurts like a motherfucker if i try to use it, the muscles all feel strained, and it feels weak if i try to move it at all. also i've been having terrible jaw and chin pain. could that also be because of the costochondritis? this shit has been really bad as of late, and honestly its one of the worst symptoms i have! the doc just told me to take large doses of ibuprofen, but i know that it can cause wd flare ups so i've been taking the smallest doses i can. they also want me to start physical therapy for my arm, but they ordered that before i was diagnosed with the costo. is the physical therapy and stretching exercises going to help or just aggravate it more?
 
OP, I feel so bad for you man. Fucking benzos. The miracle drug that can stop panic attacks in their tracks right. Shit. I've been dependent on benzos for about 4 years in one degree or another. I was sooooo happy to finally have a med that stopped anxiety in its tracks. So wonderful right? Until one makes the mistake or is forced to just stop them CT.

I've had two bouts of benzo wds. First time I had been hitting the etiz extra hard (got a false sense of security with those have about a stock of about 500 of them) as well as Xanax which I'm scripted for. Eventually ran out of both and on day two of nothing is when the hell started. Mind blowing anxiety, racing heart rate with palpatations, a pretty much constant hot pain in my chest, blurred vision, insomnia with what little sleep I got including the most bizarre nightmares I'd had. Made opioid withdrawal seem like a vacation in the Bahamas. I lasted for about 5 days with symptoms getting worse day by day. Absolute fucking hell. By day 5 I just couldn't hang and took the walk of shame to the ER.

By the grace of God I was seen by an NP who was tough as nails, gave me the ass chewing of a lifetime, BUT helped me. Gave me two shots of Ativan, 1mg each, was happy to see my heart rate drop to a semi normal level, and cut me loose with a script for Ativan 2mg 3x a day. So that saved my ass until my next refill.

Fast forward a couple months and I stupidly ran out early again, this past Sunday to be exact. Same story symptom wise only they hit much harder and faster and this was only with Xanax. Fucking utter hell, a couple new symptoms this time, along with all the others my eyes were watering constantly and crusting up, sleep was a pipe dream save for maybe two hours or so, and irrational fear and psychosis were setting in fast. Couldn't do shit, eat shit, completely non-functional. Day three I'd had enough and went into my Psych docs on an emergency basis and told him what was what. He basically said he couldn't give more benzos until my refill date was near, didn't want to put his license on the line however he didn't black list me. Gave me some Clonodine and told me to up my mood stabilizer which is also an anti epileptic and told me if I got too bad to go to the ER. I knew this wasn't a real option as they would surely blacklist me after my last trip so I accepted my fate, got the Clonodine and went home.

The Clonodine did basically nothing for my symptoms. So I endured another day and was luckily able to get some bars from an 'alternate' source. Most of my symptoms have abated but the body chills and goose bumps are lingering. I'm just doing the best I can to stretch it until my refill date.

But man oh man 5 weeks?! It's barbaric that all the medical professionals you've seen are letting you suffer in danger like this! The longest I had to go was 5 days but 5 weeks?! Absolutely mind blowing. I just wanted you to know that I feel for you man, what the docs are doing to you is wrong, and I hope to hell you can get on that taper. Sounds like ignorance is abundant among the docs in your area. Fucking ridiculous. Good luck to you and hang in there the best you can. I hope that this will be a distant memory for you some day. Fuck benzos. A double edged sword for a med if there ever was one. All my best.
 
Hey Pahn -

I had to look up costochondritis as I've never heard of it before. That sounds horrible! I'm sorry you're going through that on top of everything else. Benzo withdrawal can cause weakness, but given the costochondritis I am not comfortable speculating about the nature of your pain and weakness. If I were you, I would be hesitant to try to determine the nature of your symptoms on an Internet forum, as there could be more going on, and you already have a lot happening now. Is there anyway you can see a specialist or a doctor outside of the emergency department?
 
well unfortunately as ive stated before i live in a VERY small town, in which the doctors have VERY limited knowledge of withdrawal, especially benzo wd. ive been seeing every kind of doctor i possibly can, but they mostly just shrug it off and say eh its prolly anxiety or something related to your wd. i was brushed away at the er when i thought i was going to have a seizure. the doc was cocky as hell and said "you wont have a seizure. go home." i went home and had a seizure within an hour. after that, it took 7 visits to the ER and them telling me "oh your chest pain is just anxiety. your fine go home." then they realized the swollen lymph nodes, calcified deposits, and costochondritis. FUCK! i mean its unsettling as hell! how am i supposed to feel safe at all?! if ANYTHING were to happen to me im fucking dead! they have no god damn clue what theyre doing! i went and saw a counselor yesterday and he didnt even know shit about benzo wd. luckily im 36 hrs away from my psychologist appt, but i honestly have about a 25% chance of getting put on a taper. im so sick of these hack doctors.
 
well...another sleepless night. i cant believe i havent started hallucinating with this utter lack of sleep. the chest/arm pain from the costochondritis is still excruciating. i just wish i could feel some sort of normalcy for one fucking day. one of the most scary/aggravating symptoms is the complete loss of memory. i swear to god i forgot 50% of my mental capacity. i could watch a movie in the morning, then watch the same movie at night and it'll seem like ive never seen it before. i feel fucking stupid. my vocabulary has definitely been effected. i struggle just trying to piece sentences together. tomorrow is my psych appointment. i hope to hell this doc knows SOMETHING about benzo wd. i would seriously kiss the fucking doc if he puts me on a taper!
 
^Not saying this will work for everyone but I found that a couple of gabapentin helps with sleep.I'm also self-tapering off bzees and prolly sleep a cpl hours till I wake up,usually around 2 am.Then I take 2 gaba 300's(some will need more) and 1/2 to an hour later I fall asleep.Granted,I'm down to 2mg Xanax/QD and it took me a cpl years to get here so your mileage may vary.GL to all kickin the bz's cause it ain't easy.
 
How awful awful awful to be going through actual physical Illness on TOP of benzo withdrawal, OMG. I can totally relate to inexperienced drs coming from a 400 person town myself grrr. I can't believe they told you the tests were clear and they hadnt even done them (well, sadly I can but its just mindblowing!)

I hope that uou are safe for now and they can get you the appropriate treatment for the medical conditions and it really would not be at all humane to let you continue going through benzo withdrawals in any case but especially now you know there is even more going on. As if Benzo withdrawal isn't bad enough on its own!

You must be getting pretty close to your appintment now, I really hope you xan get on a taper. Why do you think you only have a 25% chance? Does this dr know how long it's been since you stopped Benzos? If not (and I hate that im saying this but I KNOW there is only so much a person can take and i could not handle benzo withdrawals after a 2 week detox with no physical condition on top of it!) but if he doesn't maybe even bring the day you last used forward a bit if you know what I mean, it might increase your chances. I would never ever ever encourage anyone to take drugs. ESPECIALLY benzos but going through what appears to be PAWS it's probably only going to get worse and that's not fair, especially as you need to be able to get back to work to be able to live.

Best of luck and im glad you are still able to post, you havent lost your internet yet?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top