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would you ever pay for sex?

~*MEOW*~

Bluelighter
Joined
May 1, 2000
Messages
3,662
Location
New Jersey
would you ever pay for any sexual act?
and why?
and what would you think if you had found out someone you cared about had?
 

psychoblast

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 11, 2000
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So. Cal.
Sure! Why not?
Well, it would be subject to the following conditions:
1) I was single or in an open relationship (because cheating is cheating).
2) I was rich enough that the cost was inconsequential. I live in Vegas and hear that the girls get hundreds of dollars a slam/bam encounter. I'm not rich enough to spend so much money on something so fleeting and that I can find for free if I take some time to look around. But if I were a multi-millionaire, I might. If I were as rich as Bill Gates, I think I'd have a harem of 100 gorgeous women living with me.
2) I can't get a girl for free, at least not at that moment. Assuming I'm single and rich, I would still prefer to find a girl who likes me over a prostitute because part of the excitement is the other person wanting to be with you. So sex with a prostitute can't be as good. But there could be circumstances that make it impossible to get a girl for free, at least at the moment. Like if I get hideously ugly, or handicapped such that finding willing women is difficult; or if I'm stranded on a desert island or in a country where I can't speak the language; or if it is morning and every place is closed.
4) The girl would have to be really hot, again to overcome the fact that it will be harder to get me excited if I know the girl is only there for the money.
Hmmm... There may be other conditions that I have not thought of. But if I was single, money was no object, the girl was hot and, for whatever reason, getting a girl for free was not an option at the moment, why wouldn't I? (Issues of disease and pregnancy can be dealt with through using a condom and not exchanging bodily fluids--no kissing.)
I guess I start from the position that prostitution is a moral trade. A woman using her body to make another person feel good, a service for which he pays. This is no different than what a masseuse does.
Oh, but maybe you think it matters whether the woman uses her hands or her vagina to give the person pleasure. First, I think that is subjective. Our society makes us think some body parts are more personal than others. But if we all walked around nude, would we feel that way? In Europe they don't think twice about getting topless at the beach. It is really a hang up that American's are so hung up on "private" parts. Like, the last thing in the world we would ever want 8 year olds to see is what a adult human body really looks like without clothes. Egads!! Quick!! Show them Freddy Krueger pulling the muscles out of some one's body and using them to pull her around like a puppet!! That's better...Really twisted.
Anyway, some may not see the relation, but it is all about sexual hang ups.
The bottom line:
1. Sex is fun.
2. A woman should be free to choose to make a living using any talent she wants, whether it is rocket science or writing or whistling or sex. (Note the problem of women who are under the control of pimps and are not truly free, or the issue of crack whores and the like, would not exist if prostitution were legal and regulated...these things are direct results of proclaiming sex to be immoral and, thus, illegal. Similar to the issue with drugs.)
3. So if you are not cheating on anyone, you are being safe and you personally think it is worth the money, go for it.
As for how you think about some one you are dating doing this...well, is it a regular thing or was it a one time thing? I think a lot of guys just have a curiosity about it and it would be surprising if they never tried it, like smoking marijuana.
Anyway, why do you think you maybe should think less of this person for having done this? Because it showed a lack of sensitivity and compassion in that he was probably victimizing the girl? Or because it shows he does not think sex is something to be saved for love affairs? Or because it makes you think maybe he's not such a catch, if he has to go around paying for it?
~psychoblast~
 

PREMIUMUNLEADED

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 14, 2001
Messages
912
Location
Yes I am a Masshole
bigdoggie.net go here and read... these guys pay for sex! its a escort review website I ran across one day. Pretty nasty, some of these guys get pissed cuse a hoe, whore wont let them eat her out? w/o a condom! Some even dont use them..NASTY SHIT!
 

psychoblast

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 11, 2000
Messages
3,672
Location
So. Cal.
ucf:
You are not seriously going to suggest that the average guy has as easy a time finding free sex as the average girl, are you? I think the original post was concerning men who pay for sex. I think women paying for sex brings up a whole 'nother world of issues.
~psychoblast~
p.s. I can cook, but sometimes I like to go out for a meal. I don't have to spend the time preparing it, or cleaning up after it. I go, I eat, I'm done. And I can choose to eat whatever I'm hungry for that day. And the cost is pretty inconsequential because even if you are doing your own cooking, there are costs for groceries.
 

Blue Lava

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 22, 2001
Messages
6,594
would you ever pay for any sexual act? Absolutely. Well, if I were rolling in money. As it stands, there are far more important things for me to spend my money on, and I already have a sexual partner.
and why?
Convienence (sp). To have sexual access to a variety of cuties, of your choosing, at the touch of the button. Hard to beat that. Most likely, if I did hire a prostitute, I'd be hiring women. Being bi in a gay relationship, the female sex worker holds great appeal to me. Using a sex worker insures that no one's feelings are going to get hurt. Don't have to worry about my boyfriend getting overly jealous, nor the girl wanting more than casual sex.
and what would you think if you had found out someone you cared about had?
Nothing. I've hung out with many prostitutes. It's not like their profession is shocking to me, or anything. Even had sex with a couple of em (male call boys), though I didn't pay.
 

Infinite Jest

Bluelight Crew
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Un-Lundun
Yes, I would.
Psychoblast said it so eloquently that I won't repeat his reasons.
I've also known a couple of sex workers. It's no big deal, one was a gay lad who liked having money, was attractive, and with no particular skills to get a real job. Why should he flip burgers for $8 an hour or whatever when he could make 10 times that from sex?
The other was a bit sad, a girl I knew who'd been pressured into it by her asshole boyfriend so he would have money to buy drugs. Not good :(
 

*JustaChik*

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 23, 2002
Messages
261
Location
Australia, Melb.
No i personally wouldnt pay for sex...
I have in a way used my body for money... i used to be a stripper... i never had sex for money, but i used my body to tease men.
My current boyfriend has recently told me that he has been with a prostitute before...It doesnt really bother me at all. I didnt care when he admitted it too me...
Only sometimes i worry that he may compare the sex him and i have, to the sex he has had in the past... he has talked about it alot, and about how good some of the girls he has been with were in bed... but he has also said he is extremely happy with me in bed too...
But it still crosses my mind every now and then.
~Chik
 

CrazyAustralian

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Joined
Mar 8, 2000
Messages
810
Location
Melbourne and Perth, Australia
there is no way in hell that I am going to pay hard earned money to get off in anyones orifice. Why even say 'pay for sex', if you ever spoke to a prostitue, you would find out that what you are doing is definitly NOT ENJOYABLE.
I find it gross, degrading and emberassing for both parties involved.
I'm a male.
[ 19 October 2002: Message edited by: CrazyAustralian ]
 

-bYd-

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 15, 2001
Messages
4,761
sure, how much am i getting paid again?
oh, wait. silly me. ;)
no.
 

Catch-22

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 16, 2001
Messages
4,520
After careful consideration, I would have to say NO. Never have, never will.
It is not a moral decision. My preference is not a judgment against people who pay or are paid for services rendered. I can just safely say that at this point in my life and after the experiences I have had, there is no need or desire to do so. I think psychoblast did a good job explaining a certain viewpoint. Since my sexual needs are more psychological than physical, I'll add some extra comments to discuss my perspective.
I tried to imagine having some strange sexual fetish that could not be met by ordinary circumstances. I do have a few sexual quirks, but in my 28 years I have not had trouble getting regular girls to satisfy my needs. I've been turned down plenty of times, but most of my sexual thrill is with courtship and getting to know the girl intimately. The actual sexual contact is much more psychologically than physically satisfying. For me the non-typical sex stuff is even more psychologically driven and requests trust/familiarity. Paying for the sexual contact would completely kill the psychological gratification for me.
I thought about becoming physically disfigured through an accident. In that case, I know that I have already slept with extrememly attractive women and my curiosity about appearances has been satisfied. Sorry to be blunt, but once you've had a certain number of partners there is nothing left to prove psychologically. I know that I have a certain level of charm and charisma. If disfigured, I would be prepared to rely 100% on my personality to attract and maintain relationships with women. I also wondered about if I became mentally disabled. If something happened that scrambled me so bad that I lost my personality, I predict that I would pretty much lose my interest in sex.
It is sort of foreign to me, but if sex was primarily physical gratification I would probably have a more flexible opinion about paying for sex. If I lacked experience, I might be more open to paying for sex out of simply curiosity. The basic fact is that sex is more psychological than physical for me at this point in my life. Paying would defeat the purpose.
 

krashkid

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 27, 2001
Messages
150
Location
Australia
Mmmm... Am I an alien?
I certainly agree people should be free to see prostitues or be prostitues, that is their choice and we have too many restrictions on people.
That said I'd have to say no, I wouldn't.
At this stage in my life I would not want to devalue the intensity of meaning that making love to someone involves. I would like my partners to feel quite special, not going where prostitues have without getting paid like they did :]
I also find the thought of sleeping with someone who doesn't really fance me, quite grotesque.
 

nowonmai

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 27, 2001
Messages
5,334
Location
Dublin, Ireland
would I??? I already have. I see it as another experience to add to the collection. The exact same reason that I started to take drugs, kissed a bloke, jumped off 30m high bridges into a river, lived in various countries etc etc etc...
Orbital put it best:
"Funny thing about regret, son, it's better to regret something you have done rather than something you haven't"
The actual act itself was in Ansterdam about 5 years ago. I was over there with a mate. One night, I'd been smoking kinda heavily, and we were wandering through the red light, doing a bit of window shopping. The idea didn't really hit me straight away, but we were talking about it, and there was this one chick that caught my eye, so I decided that if I didn't see anyone more attractive I'd go for this one. We wandered around for a bit, but noone really came up to the standard set by this one girl I'd seen.
So, back I went, she opened her door and invited me in. She was even sexier and more beautiful closer up, you know how indonesian women look. I asked what she did, and she said suck and fuck for 100NLG which sounded just fine to me. She then proceeded to undress me and asked me to take a shower with her. This was nice, and lasted for a few minutes, with her soaping my bits rather nicely. After that, we went back to the bed, where she put on a condom and proceeded to give me one of the better (and more enthusiastic) blow jobs I'd had by then. After a few minutes, I wanted to fuck her, and I told her so, so she lay down, spread her legs and started to stroke er thighs, inviting me in.
Because I was stoned, it took me longer to come than usual, and during the whole performance, she gave a VERY convincing display of enjoying herself. Of course, that's the cynic in me talking... maybe she actually did. When I had been fucking for about 15 - 20 mins, she obviously wanted to get a move on, because next thing, she popped a condom on her finger and shoved up my ass... needless to say, I shot in about 5 seconds.
Afterwards, we showered again and she was very considerate and didn't rush me out or treat the whole thing coldly. I gave her a peck on the cheek, told her she was beautiful and left.
Experience... that's what life's all about.
 

liquidocean

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Nov 8, 1999
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orange county, california
http://www.bluelight.ru/cgi/ultimatebb1.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=41&t=001773&p=
Never done it but would consider it for the no-bullshitness of the relationship. As a guy, i understand there are those aching times where no physical object, no music, no gourmet food could possibly substitute for a woman in bed. And if you're going to sell yourself out to the next person who'll take you, it would make more sense to be on the buying end instead, assuming you can handle the separation of sex and love well. I've seen enough guy friends of mine sell themselves out to the first woman who spread their legs for them after a dry spell, and who were more than glad to be subjugated to a co-dependent spiral.
Sometimes a good cleansing physical fuck can really clear your mind out and keep you from making some inappropriate emotional mistakes. If that's the case and you're on the edge of the precipice, i'd check your local alternative weekly.
[ 20 October 2002: Message edited by: liquidocean ]
 

Infinite Jest

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Why even say 'pay for sex', if you ever spoke to a prostitue, you would find out that what you are doing is definitly NOT ENJOYABLE.
Well, like Nowonmai, I've done it, it was enjoyable. What the hell? It's something to experience. Like him, I was away from home. I was travelling alone, somewhere where I would *not* have been able to meet a woman in the conventional, Western way. The situation arose, and what the hell? Perfectly pleasurable experience. Don't regret it.
 

psychoblast

Bluelighter
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Oct 11, 2000
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So. Cal.
A couple guys have said they would not pay for sex even thought they don't morally oppose it, just because they do not think sex is as important as the other aspects of a romantic relationship or because they do not want to cheapen their perception of sex.
Okay, to these guys: You've masturbated to porn, right? Yanking your dick while watching some other guy have sex with a woman and fantasizing that you are having sex with her? If so, your positions seem inconsistent.
Sex with a prostitute, to me, is basically masturbation for the guy. I mean, people keep looking for ways to make masturbation seem more like sex. From XXX porn, to fake vaginas to blow up dolls, to going to a peepshow where you jack off while watching a girl strip, to essentially doing it over an internet peep show. It would see that, to these guys, if you designed a robot that exactly felt and acted like an attractive, lusty woman (an automated sex doll), they would have no problem "masturbating" with it. But if you make the imperceptible change of making the girl real instead of fake, now it becomes something that cheapens sex?
Anyway, if you masturbate, that shows you are desiring pure physical, sexual satisfaction. And it feels better if it is some one else's hand, not your own. Or better, their mouth or vagina.
So, anyway, to me prostitution fills the exact same need in guys as masturbation. It is like "Masturbation Plus." Again, my only problem with it (when I'm single) is the cost / hassle / risk factor compared to masturbation.
And for girls, have you ever bought a dildoe? Have you ever used it and wished you had the rest of the male body there to better fulfill the illusion? But of course male sex dolls are not at all real... Yet, theoretically, if there was a Ken Doll 3000 that was a robot in the form of a life size, very attractive man, operated by batteries, that could get hard and thrust and gyrate and basically have sex just like a real guy...well, wouldn't that be a "super vibrator" that lots of women would want? And would pay for? So in what sense are they not paying for sex if they pay for this robot sex doll? It seems to me it is because they don't have to deal with a real man (germs, disease, dirty, possibly smelly, unpredictable, risky, of uncertain physical attractiveness since pictures can be doctored and don't always show the "whole" package, and uncertainty of climax since who knows what the guy will do, for how long, etc, and women are harder to make cum than guys). Anyway, I can see where women would have much more deterring factors than a guy on finding a "live" version of the perfect sex doll robot. But I don't think it is as much a moral high ground as either (1) not feeling the desire for purely physical sexual satisfaction as often or strongly as men; and (2) bigger deterring factors, including danger and just not enjoying the experience.
~psychoblast~
 
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