Stimulants Would coming clean to my loved ones help me recover?

[StaryNight]

I have been an addict for the past nine years (I'm 23). Currently I am a college student attempting to get readmitted into the nursing program at my school. I'm married and I have two young children. My addiction has led to me not having any friends at all. Recently a friend of mine passed away from drug use and it has opened my eyes. I want to get clean and I don't want to be this person anymore. My home life is suffering greatly. I'm angry constantly. My house is a wreck. I don't leave the house. I started attending NA meetings this week. My husband believes I'm just taking pain pills. I started smoking meth three weeks ago with my sibling who has been an addict for the past 13 years. My sibling is the only person I really talk to or hang out with. My husband has told me before he would divorce me if I did meth. I've been smoking every day. My mom has no idea. She does know about my adderall usage in the past. I used to be extremely close with my mother before I started doing drugs. I'm afraid it would be too much for her to handle if I told her. Her mother is dying of cancer and she has had to deal with my sibling's addiction on top of dealing with my father's death from an overdose (I was the result of her cheating on her husband so they weren't close). I want to attempt to get clean on my own. Should I tell her? Or should I only tell her if I can't and need to go to rehab? Would it be a bad idea to tell my husband? It's possible he would support me. I'm just so ashamed. Also, should I just stop talking to my sibling?

 

[Weezy920]

Unfortunately, you don't have much choice other than eliminating all contact with your sibling. That doesn't mean sometime down the road you can't open up a relationship with him/her again, but it would quite literally have to be after a couple consecutive years of sobriety. Once you become established in your sobriety, have a solid support system and get your life back on track, then it may be safe to contact him/her again... if you're ready. NA is a good start... the sooner you get yourself a (female) sponsor, the better.

If I personally was in your situation, I wouldn't tell anybody yet. I would keep going to NA and avoiding your sibling at all cost. My reasoning for that is the fact that as addicts, we're prone to relapse... if you tell your husband or mother everything and tell them you're about to get clean, and you relapse soon after, it's just going to make it harder on you and them as well. If you approach them after a month of sobriety, after regular NA meetings and acquiring a sponsor, it'll make it easier to tell them. It'll feel good to be able to tell them you've been clean for a month, and show them you're taking the steps necessary to get your life back on track. It'll also put their minds at ease to know you've been sober and you've already started building your support system.

Of course, if you feel like you immediately need their support for this in order to get clean at all, then you may just have to tell them now. NA can provide a lot of support though, a lot of phone numbers, a lot of sober activities, so I don't think it would hurt to continue working on yourself for a little bit before telling them.

They say that early in your recovery, you should go to a meeting every day for 90 days straight. I agree with this concept. If you don't have an NA meeting available every day of the week, you can go to AA too, they're generally more abundant than NA. If you live in a big city though, you shouldn't have any problem with locating an NA meeting every day. Addiction is addiction, the substance you choose to abuse makes no difference, it's the support NA and AA offers that are the building blocks to a life of sobriety.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Yes you should tell your family that you are an addict, and that you want to get clean and sober. Good luck.

 

[mostly-human]

I always give advise for people to come clean to their loved ones. I think it's the best way to be serious about becoming sober and in many situations, it is the ONLY way it will ever stick. It will be rough though.

 

[crzydiamond]

I wouldn't tell them yet. The first poster said reasons why very eloquently

Families who have no experience with recovery don't generally understand what you need. They often expect you to be "cured" and end up putting more pressure on you with their expectations. If you slip it's the end of the world. Even if you don't they may give you guilt trips you aren't ready to handle. Unfortunately, you are the one who needs support right now, and from the sounds of your family if you tell them I think you'll end up having to support THEM through it!

I think you should continue to reach out to the recovery community for support. When you have some time under your belt you can reevaluate.

Mostly I would ask myself this--will it help me more or hurt me more (as far as me staying in recovery) to tell my family? You know them best, only you can answer.

 

[gsquared81]

If you have a good support system I would tell your family. For me personally it was like someone took 1000lbs off my back.

 

[Ds]

Just go to N AA meeting,get that silver coin, and a big book and sit your parents down and read from the big book to them. They will be so proud of you.

 

[Strife2014]

I understand what you are going through!

Unfortunately, you don't have much choice other than eliminating all contact with your sibling. That doesn't mean sometime down the road you can't open up a relationship with him/her again, but it would quite literally have to be after a couple consecutive years of sobriety. Once you become established in your sobriety, have a solid support system and get your life back on track, then it may be safe to contact him/her again... if you're ready. NA is a good start... the sooner you get yourself a (female) sponsor, the better.

If I personally was in your situation, I wouldn't tell anybody yet. I would keep going to NA and avoiding your sibling at all cost. My reasoning for that is the fact that as addicts, we're prone to relapse... if you tell your husband or mother everything and tell them you're about to get clean, and you relapse soon after, it's just going to make it harder on you and them as well. If you approach them after a month of sobriety, after regular NA meetings and acquiring a sponsor, it'll make it easier to tell them. It'll feel good to be able to tell them you've been clean for a month, and show them you're taking the steps necessary to get your life back on track. It'll also put their minds at ease to know you've been sober and you've already started building your support system.

Of course, if you feel like you immediately need their support for this in order to get clean at all, then you may just have to tell them now. NA can provide a lot of support though, a lot of phone numbers, a lot of sober activities, so I don't think it would hurt to continue working on yourself for a little bit before telling them.

They say that early in your recovery, you should go to a meeting every day for 90 days straight. I agree with this concept. If you don't have an NA meeting available every day of the week, you can go to AA too, they're generally more abundant than NA. If you live in a big city though, you shouldn't have any problem with locating an NA meeting every day. Addiction is addiction, the substance you choose to abuse makes no difference, it's the support NA and AA offers that are the building blocks to a life of sobriety.

Ok, what this person said is A great start! Also, I would suggest finding some one outside your husband and mother that is a close friend that is sober that can also be there for you and hold you accountable as well! I don't know how your faith is with God but going to a church and spending time with the one that loves you most will help more then you know! you can also get close to those at church that have gone through what you are and they can love and support you as well! As far as telling your mom I would tell her asap and sit down and be frank and strait forward and look her in the eye and tell the truth! All the truth! Its not easy but be brave and you will be respected for it in the long run! Hiding anything can hurt you more then them when you feel like you have to run from them because of some secret and can cause you to go back to familiar playgrounds and trigger a relapse. keep you in my prayers! Rom 1:9- Said with love from Johnny

 

[BeachBum4u]

For starters, reasons to not tell seem to be outweighing the ones to tell here but only you can assess where you stand with everyone involved. However, I will point out one very good reason why telling may be the one that may ultimately get you where you want to be. Here's the deal - face it, us addicts are really good at sneaking around, hiding stuff, keeping little secrets, half-truths etc. Over time, it's the thing that allowed us to be able to do all those things you're now wanting to get away from. At the end of the day, coming clean with all that and putting everyone on notice you're making a serious attempt to clean yourself up may very well take away some of your alternatives to screwing it up. You won't be able to sneak around, hide shit and basically live in that fringe of half-truths. You'll almost be forced to get your shit together. Obviously, the bad news to all that is that if you end up failing, there won't be anywhere to hide (your bare ass will be out there for all to see). So, if you think that this time is THE ONE and you're really serious and have all your ducks in a row, so to speak. Go for it. You may want to ease into things until you're pretty sure you can make a go of it but this is a decision you'll have to make on your own. Sorry if I've rambled a bit but I do wish you all the Best!

 

[Burnt Offerings]

Just go to N AA meeting,get that silver coin, and a big book and sit your parents down and read from the big book to them. They will be so proud of you.

lol

If you really want to quit, tell your sibling that you want to quit using because it is having a bad effect on your life, and that from now on they shouldn't use around you or offer you drugs. Only cut off contact with them if they cannot abide by those conditions, IMO. Family is very important but your own life is very important as well. Personally speaking, I'm not very public with my family about my drug use. It's not their problem and they're not the cause of it, so there's little they can do to end it, really. I respect their opinions & love them very much but when it comes to very personal matters like drug use I'm going to do what I want to do regardless of what they think, I've found that out about myself a long time ago :/

 

[SluttyPeach]

^Yeah, pretty much. But for many addicts, the shame they feel about their drug use will at least give them a reason to try to quit. Not saying it will work though..

Meth is one of the hardest drugs to quit using IMO because it doesn't cause physical dependence. Sound ass backwards? Well, my reasoning is that it's easier to justify using it because it can make you more productive unlike many other drugs. For example, a heroin user would have a much harder time functioning because they're too sedated/might be dopesick. Not to mention how fiendish it can be.. All you wanna do is METH. Opiate addicts, for some reason, seem to think meth addiction is a joke but not all addictions are the same.. They are just as different as the drugs themselves.

You probably shouldn't tell them about it until after you quit and have some clean time under your belt. Otherwise they might just make you feel bad about yourself which will make it harder to stop using.

By the way, I'm a meth head. I just don't use all the time like I used to..

 

[Project Will]

Being honest with your friends and family is a great first step towards quitting. If your family offer you drugs, it is best not to spend time around them - at least for now. I kept a secret heroin and benzo addiction from my wife, family and friends for 3+ years and finally came clean back in January. Been sober since February 2nd.

The importance of honesty cannot be overstated. Keeping these secrets became a way of life for me - as it sounds like has been the case for you as well. Being honest with people has been the best way to change that. It is also a way to keep your side of the street clean, so to speak.

For me, getting sober has not just been about quitting drugs. It has enriched my life in so many ways. Good luck, and if you'd like to talk please feel free to message me!

 

[Invisible Helper]

I've been an opiate addict IV for 3 years I've IV meth with h and Coke with h a good amount of times but never enjoyed it really ... I never liked being awake so I couldn't get addicted to meth if someone paid me to smoke it or snort it I just hate it!
My question is what is the difficult aspect of quitting if it's not physical addiction I've always wondered ? What happened what is the cycle like compared to opiate cycle ? Any insight would be nice as I don't know much about this

 

[SluttyPeach]

^Psychological addiction. Just like with anything else.. Physical dependence or not, it all comes down to what's in your head.

 

[Burnt Offerings]

I've been an opiate addict IV for 3 years I've IV meth with h and Coke with h a good amount of times but never enjoyed it really ... I never liked being awake so I couldn't get addicted to meth if someone paid me to smoke it or snort it I just hate it!
My question is what is the difficult aspect of quitting if it's not physical addiction I've always wondered ? What happened what is the cycle like compared to opiate cycle ? Any insight would be nice as I don't know much about this

Is it so hard to imagine? Meth makes people happy (the people who enjoy its effects, anyway). In the aftermath of using, they're suddenly not happy anymore. Why not do more meth and get happy again? Until your brain gets so acclimated to constant stimulant abuse that it's practically the only way you can generate happiness. That's why heavy abusers of methamphetamine often experience long periods of depression once they stop using the drug.

Oddly enough I also do not like combining meth and heroin, although both drugs are enjoyable separately IMO. The combination makes me feel sick to my stomach.

 

[SluttyPeach]

Is it so hard to imagine? Meth makes people happy (the people who enjoy its effects, anyway). In the aftermath of using, they're suddenly not happy anymore. Why not do more meth and get happy again? Until your brain gets so acclimated to constant stimulant abuse that it's practically the only way you can generate happiness. That's why heavy abusers of methamphetamine often experience long periods of depression once they stop using the drug.

Oddly enough I also do not like combining meth and heroin, although both drugs are enjoyable separately IMO. The combination makes me feel sick to my stomach.

You hit the nail on the head, man.

Even if opiates didn't cause physical dependence, people would still be addicted to them because it makes you feel good.