With what intensity do you scan your environment for ass?

[CoastTwoCoast]

I think a large amount of people are similar, continually evaluating compatibility/outward signs and actions, at least at some level consciously. I've definitely had friends talk about it, especially when working out a lot- noticing fitness and visual appearance, gestures, tones, poses, 'energies', status, availability. I have a married friend who has part of his brain 'always on the prowl'.

Honestly I don't really think that way, and I sometimes feel rather weird as a guy. I can be very task focused, though, or completely lost in other thoughts when out. Literally just got my testosterone tested last week, 729, so doesn't seem like that is off. Also my relationships certainly don't miss out any in that regard. Sort of like a mode switch or something.

But yeah, you don't sound abnormal if you are getting what you need done.

"I have a married friend who has part of his brain 'always on the prowl'."

Does his wife know his brain is "always on the prowl"? That means he's opening himself up to the possibility of another woman. I feel sorry for his wife. I don't know why some men can't just be satisfied with what they have. Men who are in a relationship, but always looking over their shoulder for the next best thing deserve nothing.

 

[negrogesic]

I don't know why some men can't just be satisfied with what they have.

Its seems to be hardwired. Monogamy, as far as our genetics are concerned, is a new social construct for us as a species. In some respects, the goal as far as being a male, particularly the alpha type male with alot of testosterone and a high degree of sexual dimorphism (i fit in this category, though there are plenty others far more dimorphic than myself, and i consider myself vastly more intelligent than the bulk of them) is to spread our genetic traits with as many of those that we view as the fittest of the females of our species. Its a monkey way of thinking to be sure, but are we not also apes?

This justifies nothing i know, but explains the instinct. Assuming we all agree what is moral or not (and, that that definition reflects the current), perhaps it is the moral failing of the man who takes action beyond the sole recognition of said prospect. But the instinct remains.

In fact im suspicious of the man (and perhaps also envious) who, to at least some regard, doesn't share this instinct.

 

[tathra]

Monogamy, as far as our genetics are concerned, is a new social construct for us as a species

im not so sure about that. humans can go either way, some people pair bond for life and some don't, we're not hardwired to prefer either one over the other. theres a lot of toxic monogamy culture that romanticizes jealousy and the idea of owning your lover, which is pretty gross, mostly seeming to stem from religion

whether one prefers monogamy or polyamory, according to animal models, has to do with the amounts of the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin. it might be interesting in the future if we can create things like "monogamy in a pill", though there's plenty of potential for abuse in that, but at least as a pleasant side effect, orgasm intensity is directly correlated to the amount of oxytocin in one's system, so such a "monogamy pill" could do amazing things for you and your partner's sex lives

 

[atara]

jealousy is romantic tho

 

[tathra]

jealousy is romantic tho

to some maybe. possessiveness is gross though. personally, what I want is a partner, not a dependent or a piece of property

 

[G_Chem]

Na actually I keep to myself..

I’ve found women respond better to guys that don’t seem like their trying to get on any woman there. Women (and men) like to feel special so if your just staring at every piece of ass that walks through the door you won’t get a great response.

I generally don’t scan but if I see a woman I find attractive I will look and smile which almost always reciprocated. I’m pretty picky so that doesn’t happen often.

This attitude absolutely drive girls that think they are hot shit up the wall.. Tgose are the women that I outright ignore. Then you look even hotter to whoever your pursuing.

For me the women that walk around like their shit don’t stink and know how hot they are, that’s ugly. I like that woman that’s maybe not the most traditionally pretty (alternative looks and shit lol) but walks around not giving two fucks what anyone thinks of them.

So no I don’t scan, I save my looks for someone I truly want to bring up. Cuz obviously it’s an ego boost and some girls don’t need that ego any bigger than it already is..

-GC

 

[AbbeyLee]

I *am* the ass

Seriously though, maybe 2%. I’ve wished I could wear a Burka to the supermarket because I just want to be left alone. I spent a few nights with a guy over New Year and he turned out to have paranoid schizophrenia I finally got rid of him and blocked him on my phone, but blocked numbers can still get through to voice mail. I have about 5 screens worth of calls to that (and he mostly says nothing).

My mum visited yesterday and he lives near her. She gave me a letter from him. It remains unopened and I’m debating just throwing it out without looking. I don’t need this stalker-ish behaviour and think it’s rude. It’s happened time and time again.

Men don’t seem to comprehend I don’t want them or need them. I’d rather be a Crazy Cat Lady than put up with garbage. I’m serious. I’ve become a lone wolf.

 

[G_Chem]

^^^Its this type of shit I wasn’t really even aware of until this recent feminist/me too movement. I’ve been told by women that guys like this are experts at hiding their motives from guys they feel won’t agree.

Like the whole nice guy thing too, I was blown away to learn about that subreddit and just how common guys like that are. I only learned about guys like this after trying to help out my fiancé’s cousin get set up with a recently single friend, he proceeded to act like he owned her simply cuz there was an attempted set up and not only did he ruin his chances instantly but made me look bad in front of my friend. Felt horrible over that.

-GC

 

[CoastTwoCoast]

If people can't understand the very simple concept of monogamy and keeping their dick in their pants, it's just another reason I'm glad I'm not in a relationship.

 

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

With ALLLLLLLL the intensity, henny!

You got a tank ASS
Four-wheel drive
Fat like a Manitee
Double-wide
Do your lunges
Do them squats
So you can keep on eating them tater-tots
Chilling like an iceberg, ass titanic
Ride Sally Ride almost off the plant
Mmm, mmm, good
Like Campbells canned it
Price Check on that ass
'Cause I'm about to scan it!
Hard rock, no wiggle
When the jelly do jam
Make the neighbours break a sweat
Make me hollar goddamn!
Chub rub aint wrong
If you're doing it right
Start a fire in your pants
It'll burn all night
Back it up
Show it off
Make it wink
When you cough
Tree trunks
Make you thunk
That you wanna dip and dunk
It's a meal, not a snack
Let me hear ya hollar back!

 

[34-dihydroxyphen]

I *am* the ass

Seriously though, maybe 2%. I’ve wished I could wear a Burka to the supermarket because I just want to be left alone. I spent a few nights with a guy over New Year and he turned out to have paranoid schizophrenia I finally got rid of him and blocked him on my phone, but blocked numbers can still get through to voice mail. I have about 5 screens worth of calls to that (and he mostly says nothing).

My mum visited yesterday and he lives near her. She gave me a letter from him. It remains unopened and I’m debating just throwing it out without looking. I don’t need this stalker-ish behaviour and think it’s rude. It’s happened time and time again.

Men don’t seem to comprehend I don’t want them or need them. I’d rather be a Crazy Cat Lady than put up with garbage. I’m serious. I’ve become a lone wolf.

Wow. I am sorry. That sounds awful. Know that all men aren't like that. That behavior is unacceptable.

Also, creeping on girls at the supermarket is fucking creepy. Choosing which grocery line to stand in because it puts you closer to a hot girl you can ogle is fucking creepy. Don't go "on the prowl." Women are not wild pussies for you to stalk and hunt.

Scanning is one thing, it is instinctive and certainly not an unacceptable or unhealthy mental process to engage in, but you should certainly limit the degree to which it dictates your behavior.

Believe it or not, I find that if you simply treat women like human beings and are genuinely nice to them without expecting anything in return, a few of them will eventually want to fuck you. A surprising amount, actually.

 

[tathra]

Men don’t seem to comprehend I don’t want them or need them. I’d rather be a Crazy Cat Lady than put up with garbage. I’m serious. I’ve become a lone wolf.

male yanderes are so disgusting. just continue to carry yourself as a strong, independent woman and be strict about enforcing your boundaries with everyone, and you'll quickly be able to pull red flags out of dirtbags that have gotten good at hiding them. rejection is an excellent way to get a man to tell on himself if he's abusive or just not worth your time, so understand that there's nothing wrong with rejecting someone's initial advances to see if they start being pushy or insulting you, and then changing your mind and accepting a date with them after all if they respect your rights and boundaries instead.

protecting yourself is not manipulative or 'playing games', and the dudes that start chiming in after this post to say that it is are telling on themselves. only an abuser would try to shame someone for acting in self defense

 

[AbbeyLee]

^^^Its this type of shit I wasn’t really even aware of until this recent feminist/me too movement. I’ve been told by women that guys like this are experts at hiding their motives from guys they feel won’t agree.

Like the whole nice guy thing too, I was blown away to learn about that subreddit and just how common guys like that are. I only learned about guys like this after trying to help out my fiancé’s cousin get set up with a recently single friend, he proceeded to act like he owned her simply cuz there was an attempted set up and not only did he ruin his chances instantly but made me look bad in front of my friend. Felt horrible over that.

-GC

Ugh the “nice guy” is the worst!! This “stalking” (it’s not half as bad as real stalking) though I find so disrespectful. I only spent a couple of nights with the guy, then was as straightforward as I possibly could about not being interested. I think that shows some respect toward him but he rings my number sometimes multiple times a day and leaves a blank message on voicemail.

Now I’ve got a letter sitting there, which seems like a nice thing to do, but I’m having a dilemma about reading it because it means he gets into my headspace (which I repeatedly said wasn’t great), but that doesn’t matter it seems.

 

[nuttynutskin]

Believe it or not, I find that if you simply treat women like human beings and are genuinely nice to them without expecting anything in return, a few of them will eventually want to fuck you. A surprising amount, actually.

 

[AbbeyLee]

Believe it or not, I find that if you simply treat women like human beings and are genuinely nice to them without expecting anything in return, a few of them will eventually want to fuck you. A surprising amount, actually.

I’ve said pretty much those words: “just treat me like a human being will you?” They can’t do it. It’s the vending machine thing — put in enough “nice” and sex comes out soon enough. I really f’in hate ulterior motives.

male yanderes are so disgusting. just continue to carry yourself as a strong, independent woman and be strict about enforcing your boundaries with everyone, and you'll quickly be able to pull red flags out of dirtbags that have gotten good at hiding them. rejection is an excellent way to get a man to tell on himself if he's abusive or just not worth your time, so understand that there's nothing wrong with rejecting someone's initial advances to see if they start being pushy or insulting you, and then changing your mind and accepting a date with them after all if they respect your rights and boundaries instead.

protecting yourself is not manipulative or 'playing games', and the dudes that start chiming in after this post to say that it is are telling on themselves. only an abuser would try to shame someone for acting in self defense

Yeah, I saw the red flags (my ex-husband and others were controlling/abusive). I drove him back and said “get the fuck out of my car” and haven’t communicated in any way since. I know with these guys *any* relationship is better than no relationship. Even if it’s me abusing them.

It’s nice having company and when he wasn’t being psychotic or controlling we had some good moments. I weigh these things up though and it’s not worth it at all. I’d much rather sit here on my ipad typing to you guys or reading a book. LOL, reminds me — my brother broke up with his gf once because she wouldn’t let him finish his book

 

[checktest]

Does his wife know his brain is "always on the prowl"? That means he's opening himself up to the possibility of another woman. I feel sorry for his wife. I don't know why some men can't just be satisfied with what they have. Men who are in a relationship, but always looking over their shoulder for the next best thing deserve nothing.

She does, actually. The thing is, he is fiercely, I would almost say tribally loyal in a lot of ways, so they have a communicative and functional dynamic.
As for hardwired, from ng, the topic of the development of monogamy is quite interesting, and there are many biological and cultural layers. Frontiers had a special collection recently.

What’s Love Got to Do with it: The Evolution of Monogamy

Monogamy has captivated humans in many cultures for centuries, an idea reflected by the observation that this mating arrangement is frequently the subject matter in art, religion and literature. The general interest in monogamy, in part, may be driven by a belief that who we mate with defines...

www.frontiersin.org

Monogamy still is a dominant finding for humans, but there is quite some diversity. Even more questions remain.

I think reaction to rejection is one of our most definitive personality features.

Some people can be prolifically creepy, lacking insight. Scary.

 

[CoastTwoCoast]

She does, actually. The thing is, he is fiercely, I would almost say tribally loyal in a lot of ways, so they have a communicative and functional dynamic.
As for hardwired, from ng, the topic of the development of monogamy is quite interesting, and there are many biological and cultural layers. Frontiers had a special collection recently.

What’s Love Got to Do with it: The Evolution of Monogamy

Monogamy has captivated humans in many cultures for centuries, an idea reflected by the observation that this mating arrangement is frequently the subject matter in art, religion and literature. The general interest in monogamy, in part, may be driven by a belief that who we mate with defines...

www.frontiersin.org

Monogamy still is a dominant finding for humans, but there is quite some diversity. Even more questions remain.

I think reaction to rejection is one of our most definitive personality features.

Some people can be prolifically creepy, lacking insight. Scary
youtube.com/watch?v=XFkzRNyygfk

That's good if he's actually staying loyal. There's a difference between having those thoughts and acting on it. I don't want to hear people's sorry excuses like "Monogamy isn't natural. Were animals." blah blah. Either you can be faithful in a committed relationship or you can't. If you can't, fuck off.

Try that YouTube link again, it didn't show up.

 

[checktest]

Oh that was just creep from Radiohead.

Definitely agree there is a difference between contemplation and action, but I think there is more of a grey area when it comes to functional relationships. Statistically, with divorce and relationship problems, trust, counselors and lawyers, simple complete entirely faithful monogamy doesn't seem consistently natural or overwhelmingly common. Absolutely a lame excuse and not an adequate defense for some transgressions. I think some people can learn to be more faithful (and equally learn to NOT be that way) and communicative about how they relate to one another. Not that they will or that it won't be easy. Perhaps akin to how some people can learn to moderate, say, alcohol use. Others can't whatsoever and accept that reality. Impulse control in the area of relationships.

Using a computer isn't natural, but we all evolve to our situations in the modern world within our biological makeup.

 

[G_Chem]

That's good if he's actually staying loyal. There's a difference between having those thoughts and acting on it. I don't want to hear people's sorry excuses like "Monogamy isn't natural. Were animals." blah blah. Either you can be faithful in a committed relationship or you can't. If you can't, fuck off.

Try that YouTube link again, it didn't show up.

Monogamy isn’t natural... That said it is still very rewarding when done right. I don’t think polyamory is a problem so long as the expectations of the relationship are communicated up front.

Me personally I’m very monogamous, that said I don’t expect that from everyone else.

-GC

 

[CoastTwoCoast]

I don't expect monogamy from every one, people can do what they want. However, I do expect monogamy from the guy I choose to be with.

Polyamory sounds like a huge pain in the ass. I heard on holidays, like Valentine's Day, Christmas, etc. you have to buy all of your partners a gift. You also have to have a talk about your relationship to all of your partners many times. It's enough buying gifts and talking about a relationship to one person, let alone multiple people!!! No thankyou!