Sounds like excuses to me (on his part). Yes, I would PREFER, most times, that my wife be clean, shaven, smooth, fresh, all that....but there's also a certain element to going down on her while she's unkempt, sweaty, and raw.. It proves a trust between us, she knows she's not being judged and that she can completely relax and be free. I'm enjoying her body exactly as it is in that moment, no expectations, and just reveling in the fact this person right here is my soul mate and anything that comes from her is pure, concentrated, unadulterated HER. There's also the spontaneous aspect of it, just letting her know that she doesn't NEED to prepare for us to have a special moment.
Sounds like he's insecure. Maybe he's afraid of not knowing what he's doing down there and is having performance anxiety. Here's my suggestion: Have a deep conversation with him (when he's comfortable and feeling open), and express to him how much you desire to have the bonding connection with him of having him know and understand your body, sharing something very intimate with him, and the careful details of what really does it for you, and that it's not just about "getting off". One thing my wife and I used to do, and actually did again recently after having NOT done this after 10+ years...masturbate in front of each other. Show your partner how YOU would do it, and take note of what each other does and how. Not only is it just good fun, but there's a lot to be learned.
Best of luck! You deserve to be satisfied. And let me tell you... The next day, I almost never remember how *I* came, but I most certainly obsessively think about how *she* came. It's more satisfying to go down on her and make her scream and writhe around and soak the sheets than it is for me to bust a nut, and I would say any real man will agree with me on that front. Her having an orgasm = The steak, the garlic mashed potatoes, the crab legs, and the slice of cake after. Me having an orgasm = The cherry on top the cake that we all knew would be there anyway.
