• TDS Moderators: mafioso | mal3volent | Xorkoth

Sad why continue

jose ribas da silva

Bluelighter
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
610
Location
Beyond the darkness
I woke up this morning, one more day, should I be grateful? I am not dead at least. Full of hate, a woken mind in a dead body, it is difficult to be alive when the surroundings are dying.

Still sleepy, I think why? I ask: why? Why should I continue? I have so many plans and I spend all my time running away from them because the system does not allow me to follow them. A ridiculous job, ridiculous tasks, 8-10 hours per day, transport, preparation, where’s my time? Where’s my life? Where’s my mind?

I see my relatives, so many traumas, so many sadness, I need to dig to find a good memory from 20 years ago, the last one that I have been trying to hide in the subconscious’ deepest place to keep it alive and colored, I am tired of the grayness. With 34 years, I found myself spending most of my time and sanity healing past wounds and trauma, so much shit that I need to kick out to survive, will this last forever? Living a daily battle with yourself, meaningless, to say the least. Do I still love them? It is necessary efforts to confirm this to myself… Family issues do not change, baby boomers will not change overnight.

So I play the same old song, why should I continue? The flesh prison can be torn
 

PtahTek

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 18, 2018
Messages
1,228
Location
Onda Cona
Why should I continue?
So that the world may marvel at the resilience of the human spirit. :sus:
When we are up; look to fall
When we are down; look to rise
I got almost twenty years on you and go through the same shit every day and have since birth, I think.
There are a few bright-spots along the way. It is a lost skill of turning obstructions into opportunities. Think I am losing this now... sadly.
Fing something to enjoy and enjoy it as tomorrow may not come... though IME it always has.
 

schizopath

Bluelighter
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
1,544
Location
Dimension XYZÖ where I paint the skyline
The only reasons I find somewhat reasonable:
possibilities
drugs
family/friends
current enjoyment

Thats more than enough for me not to give up. Even if I had only 1 of those thats in my opinion still enough to go on.

Its up to you to decide why you want to continue. For me no suicide is simply a principle.
 
Last edited:

Foreigner

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 18, 2009
Messages
6,533
Location
The Cosmos
Humans have only one true freedom, the freedom to choose meaning or meaninglessness. You can't choose your circumstances, but you can choose what it means to you, and that meaning will determine the shape of your entire life.

So the bad news is that you're totally free, but the good news is that you're totally free. You are faced with the existential dilemma that all humans are faced with, even though many are afraid to face it. The fact that you are willing to look at the inherent meaninglessness without flinching or trying to distract yourself is a sign of courage, and not a sign that you're failing. It's true... deep down, at the ultimate level, it's all empty, there is no meaning. That also means that any negative story you're telling yourself is also bullshit. You can change the story whenever you want.

What you need to do now is the next step: choose meaning. When your suffering has meaning, it will transform your life, and it gives you a purpose that you can only give to yourself. Then from that purpose, all kinds of possibilities flow.

Some of us suffer horribly. I'm one of those people. I am suffering horribly right now, in fact. I can't get out of bed and I'm in 10/10 pain that requires constant opiates and steroids. But I look out the hospital window, seeing the birds flying between the trees, seeing the clouds moving over the Sun, seeing the utterly mundane and pointless activity of the humans walking by.... and everything is OK. I don't "need" to be anywhere else.
 

Snowy_Hell

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 12, 2017
Messages
170
Location
Eastern Europe
I woke up this morning, one more day, should I be grateful? I am not dead at least. Full of hate, a woken mind in a dead body, it is difficult to be alive when the surroundings are dying.

Still sleepy, I think why? I ask: why? Why should I continue? I have so many plans and I spend all my time running away from them because the system does not allow me to follow them. A ridiculous job, ridiculous tasks, 8-10 hours per day, transport, preparation, where’s my time? Where’s my life? Where’s my mind?

I see my relatives, so many traumas, so many sadness, I need to dig to find a good memory from 20 years ago, the last one that I have been trying to hide in the subconscious’ deepest place to keep it alive and colored, I am tired of the grayness. With 34 years, I found myself spending most of my time and sanity healing past wounds and trauma, so much shit that I need to kick out to survive, will this last forever? Living a daily battle with yourself, meaningless, to say the least. Do I still love them? It is necessary efforts to confirm this to myself… Family issues do not change, baby boomers will not change overnight.

So I play the same old song, why should I continue? The flesh prison can be torn
There is no meaning to life, no reason for it. It is a spark, a fire that burns because it can. I've seen successful people not caring about meaning but simply dancing the dance of chasing the profit. Me, I'm tangled in a cognitive mess of feelings and memories and can kind of relate to your state. I hope for some kind of revolution where I get to be shot in the head. I even tried joining marshal Assad, and the Donbass faction.
 

tracedwards313

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 7, 2015
Messages
67
You are the author of your life. So, if your script says that everything is meaningless than that is your truth. If life sucks and everything is shit, that is exactly what you will get. That will be your story.

It doesnt have to be that way. One way to change your narrative is to seek purpose in things outside of yourself. When you are the constant center of your focus its very likely that you will at some point find misery.

Being present, willing, and able to recieve the gifts life has is critical as well. All it takes is one experience to change your entire life, for better or worse.

I dont know your whole situation but I can guarantee that there is an unfathomable number of people who have it much worse than yourself, with little hope of reaching anything better.

Focus your attention on the things you DO want out of life and not on what you dont want. Life can be enjoyed and it can also suck ass.

The only true meaning in life is to live, to be alive. How you choose to experience and interpret your personal journey is completely up to you.
 

LordFran

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 27, 2019
Messages
143
15652
There is a reason why everyone suffers and a reason why the person who frees him or herself of suffering frees the world.

The flesh is not the prison, the mind is
 
Top