Film What's the Last Film You Saw? v. Tell Us What You Thought!

[hydroazuanacaine]

ana de armas as a digital siren. the rocky shores of post-modern isolation.

 

[MydriHaze]

Paprika, by Satochi Kon, i advise the book by Yasutaka Tsutsui though

 

[Jabberwocky]

Umm... Uh... I never watch movies, i never watch television. Unless TV is on somewhere where i have happened to end up.

I think last movie i saw was at some point during the summer of 2020. I smoked some weed with a friend. The movie was so lousy that it went through the scale and suddenly it was great. Same philosophy applies to jokes. Yes, i am strange.

The VelociPastor​

"After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas."

Ghost fart approves!

 

[birdup.snaildown]

The VelociPastor

Great film. I honestly can't believe Alyssa Kempinski (Carol, the hooker) lost the Best Actress Oscar to Frances McDormand.

The last film I saw was Hairspray. My God why in the living fuck do people keep casting John Travolta? Now they're casting him in female roles? You'd think since he was in Grease and Saturday Night Fever he'd be able to dance and sing better... but it's not the musical numbers that bothered me. Throughout the entire film Travolta butchers his accent, which is bizarre considering he is American to begin with and nobody else in the entire film is even attempting to do a Baltimore accent.

Michelle Pfeiffer (holy shit is that really how you spell her name) did a good job of reminding me why I don't see her much any more.

The songs were generic and forgettable.

The political message was confusing. At one point there is a parade of black people marching down the street, demanding equality on television. The main character - Travolta's daughter - hits a policeman in the head with a placard. Later Queen Latifah's character refers to her as a hero.

The young black guy says he doesn't like everybody reducing him to his skin colour, then he sings a song about skin colour.

This is a white film with mostly white actors about race inequality in Baltimore. I'm not one to nit-pick in this department, but in this case I can't help but think that the story should have been told from a black perspective.

 

[MydriHaze]

Great film. I honestly can't believe Alyssa Kempinski (Carol, the hooker) lost the Best Actress Oscar to Frances McDormand.

Politics man...

 

[birdup.snaildown]

@The Wizard of the Creek

I actually love John Waters and have seen most of his films. I didn't realize that he did the original Hairspray (it is the one of his films I haven't seen) but it makes sense I guess looking at the remake. I'd be interested to see if the original was better. I loved Cry-Baby. There is something missing in the 2007 version. The Waters magic isn't there. It doesn't have that crude raw appeal, although I know understand why they cast John Travolta since Divine (from Pink Flamingos) played Edna in the original.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Hi again. Uh... So during a normal movie year, i watch maybe 4 movies. None so far, 2021. So not exactly a movie enthusiast writing here. I am a music video freak. Or just music, but video is always a bonus. However, i want to mention movies which i like, or which have one way or another made some kind of an influence on me. Some of these were smashed by the critics i think, and not appreciated in general. I don't care, so here, lovely bluelighters, i LOVE these movies:

-Cubic (in some countries, known as "Equilibrium"
-The day after tomorrow
-Avatar
-Matrix. (ONLY the first one of them)
-All Lord of the rings and all The hobbit movies, extended director's cut versions

There ya go.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Wow! Only 4 movies per year generally? None so far in 2021? We are already halfway through this year as it is so far… and none seen as of yet to report about?

Yeah, Wizard. It is not the fault of movies. Or TV. It is my poor attention span. The length of a TV show is fine, let's say 45 minutes. But then i would have to watch the whole season to get the idea. Movies are way too long in length. I lose myself somewhere, and forget the movie then, not even half through

 

[birdup.snaildown]

You don't have the attention span for movies but you love the extended versions of LOTR?

 

[birdup.snaildown]

at least 4 a day. No kidding!

You average at least 4 movies a day? That's honestly crazier than 4 movies a year. I don't know how you even have the time for 4 movies a day. Average movies are like 100 minutes long. That's half a day, every day! I guess I just don't like movies enough to sustain that kind of habit. I also try to avoid re-watching stuff as much as possible. It ruins movies if you watch them too many times in short succession. You need to leave the brain time enough time to forget or you lose the magic. The longer the better. I use this technique with home photos and videos too. I didn't watch my wedding video during my entire first marriage because I figured it would be more impactful years later. Then, eventually, we got divorced. Now, ten years later, I still haven't seen it. I know when I do it will provoke an emotional reaction, just not the one I was hoping for back then.

I don't know if movies have gotten a lot shitter in the past 10/20 years, or if I'm jaded... but there's just not a lot of films being produced that work for me. I think I'm probably jaded. I don't like action scenes. I know so many people that shit on pro wrestling because it's fake but they love watching Hollywood fight scenes. Most comedies fucking suck. I hate it when people go see stand up comedy routines and laugh obnoxiously loud at everything. The sort of people that keep looking nervously at their friends every five seconds to make sure everyone is having a good time. It's just not that funny. Political correctness and the #metoo movement and all this BLM shit is killing cinema. Artists perform better when society gives them the freedom to be wild.

I also miss the days of the video store. Australia has very limited streaming services. My local video store used to stock 20,000 titles. I know because my brother worked there. Fifteen years later, Netflix has less than 4,000. Amazon has 9,000. I don't know how many films Disney Plus has, but you shouldn't have to combine the might of the three largest streaming services in the country to match what a local suburban video store had in stock fifteen years ago.

I'd say I average between 50 and 100 movies a year.

 

[izo]

sexmission, a polish science fiction movie, trash...

 

[birdup.snaildown]

Cranston Academy: Monster Zone

Saw this in the cinema. It's another secret school for gifted kids film, like Harry Potter and X-Men, but it's a school for geniuses rather than wizards/mutants.

I don't like the animation very much. It costs a lot of money to make 3D animation worthwhile. I don't know what the budget was for Cranston, but (like a lot of 3D kids movies) it feels cheap. With the old classic Disney and Warner Bros. 2D cartoons that were produced in the early 20th century, they didn't have to compromise anything other than the frame rate. With 3D, you have to cut corners. Like a magician, you distract the audience with flashy gimmicks.

Most of the characters don't even offer an illusion of originality. Arguably nothing is original, but they could at least try. Most of the background characters aren't even mentioned by name (or, if they are, it is so brief you instantly forget it). I can't help but feel that kids films these days are so desperately spinning their plates, they don't have time to establish characters any more. The only characters - aside from Moth Man - that are given any time are Liz and Danny.

Liz (on the left) and Danny (on the right).

Liz is the daughter of a genius. She is tough, but a little insecure. She speaks her mind. That's her entire personality. I'm not summarizing it. If anything, I'm being generous.

I watch these films and I instantly forget them. I forget them while I'm watching them.

This film has two (three if I'm being generous) redeeming features.

1. Moth Man.

If this was an American film, Moth Man would be a different character. Thankfully, it's not an American Film. It's a Mexican-Canadian-British-American film.

Moth Man is a Mexican stereotype. He loves tacos and enchiladas and he lives for hot sauce. Since he's a moth, he also has a tendency to fall in love with light bulbs.

2. The monsters.

The monsters aren't ground breaking like H.R. Giger collaborating with Ridley Scott, but they're good. They're well above average for a kids film. It's hard to find pics for this film because it's not doing well so these images don't really do the film justice.

3. The Hamster.

The typical cute/silly animal that is always there for comic relief. Sometimes these characters are misfires. I liked the hamster. He only gets a couple minutes of screen time, which is just right. Often these kids flicks hit the cute button too much.

5/10

I kind of hated the female character (Liz) throughout the entire movie. When the credits started rolling, I realized why. She is voiced by Ruby Rose, who is best known as they Australian actress who played Stella in Orange is the New Black... I think a lot of the time people who aren't Australian don't see the cringe as clearly as Australians. Same thing with foreign films in general. I haven't spent that much time in America, so it doesn't even blip on my radar when something is completely inaccurate. You might look at Ruby Rose and think she's human. From an Australian perspective, she isn't human. She's a big bag of horse shit. If I knew she was in it beforehand, the film would get 1/10.

 

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

MDPOPE (The Most Disturbed Person On Planet Earth) - 2 Stars and 5 stars - two ratings because I'd give the experience two stars as in enjoyability - although this is not something any human would ever enjoy, that's very much the wrong verb - and 5 stars because this compilation (that's what it is, a non-narrative 147min compilation of 60-something clips) absolutely sets out what it attempts to do. The guy behind this compilation created it in an attempt to "prove" his claim that he is indeed the Most Disturbed Person on Planet Earth. MDPOPE makes most traditional "shock sites" look like Pollyanna. There's a reason this "movie" - which is one of three in a series - is known as the holy grail of disturbing movies. It IS. Nothing comes close except maybe F.U.B.A.R or Goreporn Vol. 1 and 2.
Again, not a movie since it has no narrative structure and no acted or staged scenes, not even ones just claiming to be real (I'm looking at you, Faces of Death). Every extreme, disturbing type of porn is shown in clips here (let me put it this way, 2 Girls, 1 Cup - which is actually just a trailer for a full-length German porn movie called Hungry Bitches - is in here and is maybe the tamest of the porn clips), frequently involving urine, faeces, vomit and animals. Many, MANY clips from the likes of Ogrish and Live Leaks websites.
It DOES contain genuine snuff, including killers who taped their torture/murder of a victim.
The worst for me was probably the Crushing porn (no, not BBW sitting on skinny men, that's Squashing). If you know, you know. If you don't, I envy you.
The term NSFL has never applied to anything more.
And yet...I wasn't as bothered as I thought I'd be by 90% of it....maybe I'm the most disturbed person on planet earth? lol. But no 'cause I didn't enjoy it. It's more of an endurance thing.

Anyone on here ACTUALLY watched this?

 

[Cream Gravy?]

Blade Runner 2049, on the other hand, is just garbage. YMMV.

I wouldn't say it was absolute garbage (in that as a visually entertaining spectacle, it thrived)... but in that Dennis didn't follow the Final Cut ending... he totally threw it out the window. So the plot was pretty blah as a result to me. R. Scott went out of his way to show us who were replicants and who weren't, though very subtly, while Dennis V. just threw that idea straight out... into the garbage. THEN he cast Jared Leto as Tyrell's successor???! CHRIST. I heard David Bowie was gonna play that role but then well, he died. So... somehow Leto was runner up.

The mere presence of Jared Leto in a film usually bumps it down a few points for me; I cannot stand the guy and he's a very subpar actor IMO.

You average at least 4 movies a day? That's honestly crazier than 4 movies a year. I don't know how you even have the time for 4 movies a day.

I often watch 2-4 films per day, sometimes 5. Ahhhh, the life of a house husband. I take care of all our finances/yard work/pets/repairs/cars, etc. And in exchange I get a heck of a lot of freedom with my time and how I spend it. Some days I watch no movies cause so much shit needs attending (this week we got a new dog and she's a handful, very busy), others I'll watch 5 and take a tab or two of LSD lol.




Watched Nacho Libre again earlier this week. It is hands down one of the funniest (and PG?) films of all time. I had pain in my abs from laughing so much lol. 9/10

 

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

My favorite John Waters film is by far Serial Mom. If you haven’t seen it, please do!

Hairspray is a purposefully whitewashed social satire about the 50’s-60’s. That is what many people (like me) find endearing about the film. Waters did not make a mistake doing his film this way. Here, listen to him about this:



Other than Serial Mom, watch Pecker!

John Waters is an old creepy queen from Baltimore that I have really enjoyed throughout the years.

Serial Mom:

I love Serial Mom!

"Pussywillows, Dotty!"

The movie is awesome. That and Sleepaway Camp 2 are the only comedy-horror slasher movies I can think of that are super-fun and where you really root for the killer.

Weird you mention John Waters. I've seen some of his movies and have gotten back into watching the rest recently. I watch Cry Baby last weekend and enjoyed it, although his "PG-13" movies just aren't the same lol. I also watched Female Trouble a few days ago and watched the first bit of Desperate Living this morning.

Pecker was fun, too.

Pink Flamingos was the first I saw. I'm still shocked that Devine FOR REAL ate dog shit for that scene "Be gay, do crime!" lol

Have you ever managed to find a copy of his first super-rare film, Eat Your Makeup? There's another, too. Multiple Maniacs or something, I think?

Polyester was good, too, but I WISH I had gotten too see the "smellovision" version in the cinema (the audience were given numbered scratch-and-sniffs and the number would come on the screen when to do it).

 

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

MDPOPE 2 (AKA The Most Disturbed Person on Planet Earth Part 2) - umm, 3 stars, I guess? - it's around 182 mins and held my attention throughout, so that's something. But the content....I thought the first MDPOPE was the most disturbing, fucked up experience of all time...well, they managed totop it. This time for sexytimes we get scat porn, vomit porn, bestiality and genital mutilation. For a bit of the old ultraviolence, we get extreme animal cruelty, the WORST disfigurements and accidents to ever happen, many genuine snuff films and a lot of torture.
Why would anyone want to watch this? I...they wouldn't I guess.
Extremely morbid curiosity/fascination is my reason.

I almost regret making my way through the worlds most disturbing movies these part 2 weeks. I've lost 7lbs (and I was only 124 to begin with) and have bags under my eyes from lack of sleep.
Somebody stop me!

 

[birdup.snaildown]

It occurs to me writing these reviews that I still watch a lot of films... a lot more than my estimated 50 per year.

Mr. Bean's Holiday (2007)

This is the third time I've seen this film. I take a lot of drugs over the past 14 years. It's rare that I'm this confident about the chronological viewing number. In this case, I know it's the third time because I distinctly remember remembering why I deleted it from my memory in the first place. Will this happen again? My bet is on yes.

It's not the worst film in the world. It has moments of Mr. Bean. I feel the same way about the Tom & Jerry movie and the new Star Wars. They aren't entirely misfires. There are several minutes of Star Wars gold in each entry of the sequel trilogy. Unfortunately, the rest is totally misguided.

I love Mr. Bean. I don't get enough Rowan Atkinson. He's a fucking gem. If literally anybody else on the planet played the titular character Blackadder, it wouldn't have been the same.

I liked Johnny English mainly because I love Atkinson, but English was way better than Bean 2. There are so many things I don't like about this movie.

I thought the first Bean film was perfect. When he talked at the end and gave that speech about Whistler's mother, it somehow worked. They pulled it off.

Making a Bean movie isn't easy. He's basically a mime, without the miming.

4/10 (because I'm willing to torture myself for a bit more bean).

 

[birdup.snaildown]

MDPOPE 2

When I was a teenager my local video store had a film called Executions, which was a documentary about death. They had actual footage of people dying in the electric chair and people being hung from the gallows, etc. There was also footage of a guy being shot in the face which always stayed with me. I found it fascinating when I was a teenager.

The Human Centipede scratches a certain itch.

I saw footage of a man's head being cut off online many years ago. It's totally unlike we see it in movies. They should rectify that. Why doesn't a horror director make a movie that is as brutal as reality?

I'm desensitized. I want to be scared... but, I don't want to watch what you're describing. I haven't seen 2 girls 1 cup because I want to be able to maintain an erection.

 

[Cream Gravy?]

Watched Terminator 2: Judgement Day yesterday. Not my first rodeo with it. Not as good as the first film, but classic. Don't know why/how there were any follow up films though.

7/10


Also watched Stardust again with the wife. Such a quirky, humorous fantasy film, with one of DeNiro's most entertaining roles of all.

7.7/10

 

[izo]

Watched Terminator 2: Judgement Day yesterday. Not my first rodeo with it. Not as good as the first film, but classic. Don't know why/how there were any follow up films though.

i found terminator II to be the best out of the series but the first is also really good. then theres terminator 3, also really good. the ones that followed then were not that great, with the latest beeing one of the lamest.