• TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Mental Health What went wrong? brain damage. Do you have a guess?

PTJ

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 21, 2018
Messages
6
I was child and teen like everyone else. in the first years i could take amphetamine and hash, and coke, and ecstasy no problems.
But then i could not anymore.

The stimulants give me anxiety now. It have left me with permanent damage on the brain. I have lover cognitive function.
But i just dont understand. How can i break my brain?
It happened when i was 18.. i had a panic attack, and then i could no more.
Then i waited and waited. It didnt return to normal. Stress and anxiety every day. The last 10 years. Then i started on methadone, and i take benzos on the site.
I had not taken amphetamine or mdma in 8 years, but the first 2 months, i actually could more or less. Take it again.
But now i cant again.

I know this is gonna stick with me forever. I am om methadone, and taking benzos just to function. WIthout medicine im a mess. I am just a couch potato, because i cant function socially like i could wheni was young.

Does anyone has any advice for me? I have tried so many times to quit benxos, but i cant. they are the only thing that can help me stress down.
I am 30 today. I feel like i have wasted the last 10 years on being sick. Someone with a similar experience? Any advice?
 
Similar experience here for sure. Don't worry so much about the past. Look forward! There are plenty of reasons to push on, said without any pretension. Again, I've "wasted" a few years too, but I realize they weren't so much wasted as were spent me trying to get all my ducks in a row, trying to be healthy and functional in society.

Do you have a benzo script? If not, you need to tell a doctor about you using them (technically abuse) so that you don't hurt yourself direly during withdrawal.

If stimulants don't do you well, why not just lay off of them? If you're depressed, that is an issue for a doctor, too. Stimulants don't really treat depression in the long-run. They add a charge.

Brain damage is a vague notion. After 6-12 months of doing the right thing and continuing on the right habits, things thould eb looking much better off for you. But it does take work. I exercise, meditate, and don't eat empty calories as much. I help others, such as (hopefully) you, so that keeps me going.

Whatever you want to achieve, please don't be afraid to shoot for it. No one has the right to say that you can't do and be what you want in the world.

Forever is a long time. I can say that if you follow a healthful path, which may very well mean medication to help, then you will end up with happiness and closure in your life.

Update us, if you will.
 
Top