Oh don't get me wrong. None of the experiences were bad or even mediocre. All of them are consistently awesome, but it's just that sometimes the come up makes me cold/dysphoric for a 5 or 10 minutes before the amazing peak kicks in. And usually my peak lasts 3 hours +-10 minutes and then gradully goes into comedown, but sometimes the peak ends abruptly at the 2-2.5 hour mark and turns into a cold/dysphoric experience for 10 or so minutes before I start feeling normal again (not peaking). It's like instead of landing after the peak ends, you get shot down from the sky during it's final phase and crash.
And of course the peak itself is different every time, sometimes it's more about love, emphaty, hugging and chilling and sometimes more about dancing like crazy and euphoric screaming - however in this case I think a lot of it is a matter of set and setting basically. The love part of the experience is amplified when the music is slower and calm (psychill) and the euphoria and energy is more prominent when something heavier or faster plays. However, it's not a rule that works on every occasion, just on most.
The point I was trying to make is that I have seen people talking about shorter peaks with this cold dysphoria kicking for the final part of it, or modern mdma making people less dancy and more couchy - but to me it's mostly a lottery or set/setting. Sometimes it works like this, sometimes like that. It doesn't seem like the issue is with MDMA, but with something I do or eat or feel, or it's just downright random, becuase it's been the same batch all the time. I mean, maybe today's MDMA is more prone to cause those unpleasant feelings, like it's less stable or whatever. I don't mean bad rolls here, I mean great rolls that have a bump along the way or end sooner and more harshly than expected.
I had one bad experience in my life, which made me cold and dysphoric for the duration of the whole peak and with no glipmse of any good feeling, but that was when I took like 50mg-60mg of an untested pill (other's had fun on it, so I assume it's because the dosage was too low)
I've been taking it for 15 months now, 8 times in total. 2-4 months breaks aside from first 3 times when I didn't know any better. So there's not much to make any pattern out of it, which is why I feel it's kinda random whether it works like what people described MDMA was in the 90s or more like the modern "meh" version. No prescriptions and yes, I take some supplements as recommended on rollsafe, but only before and during dropping, because later I just don't care anymore lol.
