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What is love?

cyberius

cyberius

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 11, 2013
Messages
1,571
Is it like normal to need your significant other and not see them as disposable?

I've been ran through by my demons and it's really warped my mind. During the time I used meth I began to question everything and keep a stiff and seriouis demeanor, blocking Everybody out. As I approach 70 days sober I realize I actually feel very connected to my girlfriend of 7 years and losing her would be terrible. I feel so weak and inhuman for feeling this way, like I should isolate myself forever.

Thoughts?
 
Wow i dont think youve grasped just how warped your mind is.

"feel very connected to my girlfriend of 7 years and losing her would be terrible" is the normal human response

It is abnormal to see your significant other as disposable.

It is normal to feel a need to have human relationships.

Can you possibly see a therapist? I mean im not trying to be mean (i have autism and tend to feel often i should isolate myself forever too) but your thinking is extremely warped. I mean like EXTREMELY.
 
d1nach said:
Wow i dont think youve grasped just how warped your mind is.

"feel very connected to my girlfriend of 7 years and losing her would be terrible" is the normal human response

It is abnormal to see your significant other as disposable.

It is normal to feel a need to have human relationships.

Can you possibly see a therapist? I mean im not trying to be mean (i have autism and tend to feel often i should isolate myself forever too) but your thinking is extremely warped. I mean like EXTREMELY.
Click to expand...

It's meth withdrawal, I'm seeing a therapist and my trust is growing. I do have underlying schitzophrenia in my family too. Have ever done meth?

I'm just very inward and paranoid from residual psychosis caused by the meth. It changes you, unfortunately.
 
What is love? Baby don't hurt me.

Sorry, couldn't help it.

It sounds to me like your emotions are coming back but you're only part of the way there, so its left you in the middle and a bit confused. I'd suggest to try to accept love over cynacism any day. Negativity can be alluring, but it never leaves you at peace - it's a siren that destroys you. Depression and apathy do not serve anyone.

I think in a spiritual sense love is the opposite. Relationship love will always have aspects of good and bad, because it's an understanding of faults and flaws. Life is beautiful, but it is not perfect. Same thing. Love is bittersweet, as is life. Just try and focus on the sweet.

What are your opinions on love post meth? And what were they before?
 
Tranced said:
What is love? Baby don't hurt me.

Sorry, couldn't help it.

It sounds to me like your emotions are coming back but you're only part of the way there, so its left you in the middle and a bit confused. I'd suggest to try to accept love over cynacism any day. Negativity can be alluring, but it never leaves you at peace - it's a siren that destroys you. Depression and apathy do not serve anyone.

I think in a spiritual sense love is the opposite. Relationship love will always have aspects of good and bad, because it's an understanding of faults and flaws. Life is beautiful, but it is not perfect. Same thing. Love is bittersweet, as is life. Just try and focus on the sweet.

What are your opinions on love post meth? And what were they before?
Click to expand...

I think I was relatively normal ya know, insecure. Sensitive and depressed. I really had a normal non psychotic worldview.

When you're missing months of sleep on meth, things get extremely weird. Somewhere along the line I became convinced I had died on a certain overdose and that I was dreaming. My entire self concept became a halucination based on fiction.

I discarded or doubted Everything I knew about myself and the world. Fucking scary shit happens to your mind when you live in psychosis and you lose your grasp on reality
 
I'm at a place where I'm just challenging my delusions andgain a little more self awareness
 
its normal to feel some degree of insecurity over something/someone you value and the possibility of losing it

thats very normal
 
Right. It's very scary to realize a relationship is not totally in your control and nothing is guaranteed. If you focus too much on the "what ifs", it could ruin your relationship. Like "What if my partner finds someone else?" Fear and trust issues will haunt you if you're not careful. That's the risk you take while in love, your heart is in someone else's hands. I just went through that, had to work through trust issues before moving forward with my b/f.

Focus on the good in your relationship.
Focus on what you love about your partner and feel gratitude. Perfect love casts out all fear.
 



Lol.


Love is complete and total devotion. It is VERY abnormal to see your SO as disposable.

Take care Cyberius, and please stay off the meth. You'll figure things out, just give it time.
 
give it time


recovery from speed is a long process with continual improvements

its horrible and thats about it.

it really messes with your head and your beliefs

in time you will regain a sense of normality
 
cyberius said:
Is it like normal to need your significant other and not see them as disposable?
Click to expand...
Yes.

I've been ran through by my demons and it's really warped my mind. During the time I used meth I began to question everything and keep a stiff and seriouis demeanor, blocking Everybody out. As I approach 70 days sober I realize I actually feel very connected to my girlfriend of 7 years and losing her would be terrible.
Click to expand...
Chances are she's been (heavily) involved in fighting ur demons. Congratulations on 70 days sober (more than I've had since I hit puberty) and you're right in thinking losing her would be somewhat disastrous to you(r wellbeing.)

I feel so weak and inhuman for feeling this way, like I should isolate myself forever. Thoughts?
Click to expand...
Communicate these feelings, and work with your partner and lean on them for support and you'll get past this ambivalence before you know it.
Withdrawing from your main support and isolating yourself is the last thing you should do.
 
Life of a simple man taught that everyone else is dirty and love is meaningless
 
Between people: Fake, not real
Between people and drug: Real, Strong
Between People And Weapon: Real, Bonding, Warm, Safe feeling
 
Id have to say love is drugs, math and science for making drugs exsist, females, music, and family.

I know im probably messed up.
 
Love to me is an amazing brutal tremendously beautiful wonderment of ups and downs, highs and lows, and sometimes feeling alone in the same room as my SO. Most days feel like I'm just trying to be as happy as I can for a sling as I can, but feel he is just waiting to be off house arrest so he can leave.
 
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