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What Does Life After Drug Addiction REALLY Look Like?

I was thinking of going back to school since I just decided to stop using.I feel if I redirect my focus else where it will help in my recovery
 
Never give up, ever. Relapses happen, they fucking suck, they lie to you and make you believe there isn't much point stopping.
But fuck, if I can make an honest effort at going sober(ish) then anyone can.

<3
 
This thread is helpful, thank you

Gives me some inspiration to keep off my drugs of choice, recently I've been getting thoughts and urges about using (had psychosis in September so I was scared of them). I know it'll be a struggle not to pickup some paper and go into wonderful acid land when I move back home (with parents atm). I always feel so bored and listless, drugs--psychedelics in particular--gave my life meaning. Hearing people find new meaning after leaving drugs gives me hope. Thank you

Johndoe401 said:
I was thinking of going back to school since I just decided to stop using.I feel if I redirect my focus else where it will help in my recovery
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Most definitely! Having reasons to get out of bed and out of the home is a huge help for recovery.
sighkosis said:
If I've learned anything from my near-sobriety, it's that I'm stronger than I think, and that I have so many beautiful possibilities for the future that I don't want to throw away for synthetic happiness squeezed in through a pick. I've promised myself that I will continue my positive practices, and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I *like* myself--and nothing, no drug, can compare to that. I refuse to fall into the traps of my past life--scraping by without sleep or food, treating the people around me like dirt, fraternizing with the very worst kinds of people. Sobriety is still a daily struggle, but I can wholeheartedly say that the freedom is worth the pain, every single day.

Hope this helps. :)
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This is inspiring, thank you.
 
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PM me anytime, seriously.
I'm new to this whole sobriety shit after spending my entire adult life (and about 70% of my adolescence which seems despicable on reflection) injecting Heroin with a pipe full of Crack as a chaser.

<3
 
WHO I WAS/WHAT I BECAME

I have been sober for over 4 years. I spent all of my college days partying and doing benzos and opiates. Got out of college and continued benzo and opiate usage. Had one crazy night then stopped for 3 years. In that time, I got a very good high paying job and really didn't think about drugs much. Although they were never far from my mind.

Then in year 4 at my great paying and highly stressful job, I bought a friends script of oxy 30. From that point on I couldn't stop. Eventually I was busted at work for being a drug user although I hid it very well. And was let go. Lost my expensive luxury apartment and luxury car. Didn't think anything of it. The next two years just escalated. Towards the end even at my parents house. Where all hope had gone to die. Reaching new lows, smoking heroin in my parents closet, falling asleep at dinner because of too much Xanax. I was out of control. I was arrested during a drug deal and held on a concealed weapons charge because the cops never found the drugs somehow. Got it dropped. That July I started doing adderall every day. Then I would do at least 80mg of opana, followed by 10-20 tabs of etizolam. That July was a crazy one, and when August came my good friend kicked me out because of my terrible behavior. With no money left and only mom and dads home in sight, I swore to be clean again.

The first few days were no sleep and no motivation. By day 4 I was having hallucinations. And on day 5 I was rushed to the ER from severe hallucinations. Most of I still remember. I woke up 5 days later in a rehab unit. My first memory was bedming over to piss myself and everyone's shock. I was in the looney bin. Apparently I was having seizures and the doctors all thought I would be a vegetable for life. After 10 more days in the rehab I was finally myself again but had trouble remembering things. From here I went to a 6 month intensive outpatient clinic. That really helped. I still wanted to use and had an insane urge to do so but always stopped myself before doing it. I told my parents I was ready to end my life and be out of this hell hole called earth. Because I had nothing.

While in outpatient recovery I finally got a job. And when I walked in my first day saw my boss. A beautiful girl who could never have any interest in me. Over the next month we got to know each other. She was living with her parents too but never was a drug addict, but was my age and broken like me. And I deduced that she liked me. So I made my move...

Now she is no longer my boss at work but in real life she is. We got married and have two kids. We each have great jobs that we can still save a little at. Along with a nice house, 3 cars, and my man shed. I met her at my lowest and she accepted me for it as I do her. I have had some minor run ins with legal things such as etizolam, but nothing like how I used to be.

Life without drugs for me is not easy. Actually it's very difficult. But can be done. But these days it isn't so bad, the demon, who always watches you. He seems to not hover so closely anymore but occasionally will poke his head in.

I believe that we, as drug users, are missing something from our natural environment. For men like myself, I think it may be a lost love or no prospect of love. For a female I imagine it may be the same.
But I always found that keeping myself busy, away from using friends, and leaving my using area as all crucial pieces to it. This did mean that I have to leave a lot of good friends behind. It was hard to do and sometimes still is. But I made sure they understand why.

At my point, there is no failing. Failing means my kids and wife don't eat, and are homeless. When you are faced with these realities. You realize how selfish your own addiction is. I've done the 12 step, it helped, but what really helped me was always staying busy and thankfully running into my life partner along the way. We addicts can become very effecient liars and don't realize that our lies detract others. Stop all lying, and you will find true friends and true love. I was never comfortable with myself in my life. Not until I got 3 months through sobriety did I feel any confidence in who I was. And eventually I was proud of what I had done in life.

Hope some of this helped. There is life after drugs. Many don't make it there, and you will fall along the way. It's like learning to walk again as a baby, but the end result is learning to fly.
 
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