Random What do you call your elders, or other family members?

[Gormur]

In-laws aren't really an element of my culture. I always think that's more like Anglo culture. We can use the honorifics frøken, fru and herr (miss, missus, mister) but since there's not much of an in-law culture in Skandinavia, these terms are basically obsolete unless you're a person who wants to be nice or poetic or if you're writing a nice letter. When you're talking to the royal family you should use these terms. Otherwise it's kind of strange

We also have a neat word De which is a polite you (of du). You can use this in any situation with an elder and it isn't weird but it's not expected. It's kind of old-fashioned but in a good way

I'd never want anybody's parents to think of me as being close relatives of theirs. I'm not close-minded about it. It just doesn't make sense to me

 

[Crjskr]

Both

Op surely this is a joke right??

Fuck I would have then called them Defacto Mother in law etc Explained that you have a mom & dad already & laid out 8 Fat Lines gave each own straw.

Where do you live please as replies seem to go 50/50 just seems unusual. Like I am 68 and called my parents mum dad but also addressed them by first name at times. My kids call me dad, but I introduce myself to their partners by my first name.

I fail to see how that is disrespectful but we all different
The Slapping is Disrespectful in my opinion. So if is such a big deal your partner should have explained this to you prior to meet up, by not telling you is Very disrespectful.

Good luck

 

[Xorkoth]

Indeed, the slapping of the parents who have oversized egos is by far the most disrespectful action described in this thread.

That poster doesn't post here anymore though.

 

[AutoTripper]

Okay, I have a bright sunny day visual and emotional memory of this day. I must have been about 4 or 5. Leaving a shop with my mum and I expect some sweets, surely after overhearing a brief social engagement my Mum had, I suddenly said to her, and it will sound shamefully cold but at the time it was purely in the name of fun....

“Jane! Jane! Your name’s Jane!” Like an accusation almost. As we walked home I kept saying for a laugh “Jane....Jane....” and to this day I still call my mum by her actual Maiden name.

And vice versa. She has never called me “Son”. There was never an undoing to this “spell”. So Jane it always is. Call it unusual indeed. But that is me all over.

Nothing wrong with unusual by default.

 

[AutoTripper]

Perhaps more unusual still, my my two Eldest cousins, one my age, one 3 yrs above, adopted the habit of directly calling each other “Brother”.

In an unusually cold and clinical, almost formal manner. They would refer to each other as Brother too.

“Brother’s still,fucked from that Acid”. “Brother this....Brother that...” to other people when the other brother was not around.

Their younger brother, also my cousin, escaped the strange privilege.

 

[AutoTripper]

I was at a family gathering earlier with my gf and her family. They were at our house hanging out. On two separate times I called her parents by their first names. I was slapped both times and told to call them either mom or dad or Mr or mrs. I was told I'm disrespectful and rude and was heavily lectured.

I didnt mean to be disrespectful. But first I only call two people mon and dad. And that is it. Not even step parents get that title. I'm sorry. But why is it disrespectful to call someone by their name? I dont like when people refer to me as mr. I like people calling me by my name. Just curious on the answers, and replies. I cant remember the last time I used Mr or mrs. Actually I do. The last time I referred to a lady as Mrs she yelled at me and said I was rude. Lol. I dont understand this at all.

What ever happened to everyone being so cool and nice and just going with the flow? It seems like everyone gets mad about everything now a days

I’m totally with you on this old post btw. I think it’s despicable that you were slapped or even criticised at all. I think it’s rather silly to impose a rule banning a concierge from using partner’s parent’s real names based on some distorted ethic code of social norms and confomities.

 

[Xorkoth]

Perhaps more unusual still, my my two Eldest cousins, one my age, one 3 yrs above, adopted the habit of directly calling each other “Brother”.

In an unusually cold and clinical, almost formal manner. They would refer to each other as Brother too.

“Brother’s still,fucked from that Acid”. “Brother this....Brother that...” to other people when the other brother was not around.

Their younger brother, also my cousin, escaped the strange privilege.

That is indeed unusual, the part about using "Brother" to other people when they aren't present. It reminds me of when people will call their mom "mother" or "mom" to other people who aren't their siblings or family members. A friend of mine did that up until his mid-twenties, a very unusual fellow, who I hadn't seen for a very long time and reconnected with recently, and he seems to have blossomed so much finally, it's crazy. But yeah, he would refer to his mom as "mother" in a strange monotone voice when referring to her to anyone else. It was always really strange to me. I mean I refer to my mom as "my mom" to people almost always, but saying just "mom" without the "my" seems unacceptably strange to me.

 

[AutoTripper]

That is indeed unusual, the part about using "Brother" to other people when they aren't present. It reminds me of when people will call their mom "mother" or "mom" to other people who aren't their siblings or family members. A friend of mine did that up until his mid-twenties, a very unusual fellow, who I hadn't seen for a very long time and reconnected with recently, and he seems to have blossomed so much finally, it's crazy. But yeah, he would refer to his mom as "mother" in a strange monotone voice when referring to her to anyone else. It was always really strange to me. I mean I refer to my mom as "my mom" to people almost always, but saying just "mom" without the "my" seems unacceptably strange to me.

That’s interesting, because I would naturally assume on this we may see some more eye to eye than in some other topics around, by simple pure obvious higher self truths and rights, which the open and logical mind can only see sense in.

So on what you say about mom and mother to non relatives....I can really understand where you are coming from.

Growing up, for most of my life, I would always say My mum. Never actually my mother.

Or, if I knew the person was a mum’s friend or work colleague or even professional who knew Jane by Jane, I would just say- Jane. Like to all her friends.

But I will have to confess now. I have a few “common” friends lol, at times, largely to break convention and be less conditioned by formalities, and because after longtime I must have felt it wasn’t silly, I have very informally committed that sin, and said like....Mum made some wicked new Canna-Coconut oil today....or mum and I work hard every summer to get the best crop.

This will be mainly online, to be less pedantic I guess.

In more lively social situations, cliches never come into play, I’m sure I will just naturally say...my mum went to...my mum got a new dog.

Like, I won’t ever say to my chiropractor or receptionist, Mum did.

Will always be, My mum or....Jane lol, because they both know her. Otherwise though.


My strange cousins! They are STRAAAANGE! Far out country folk, removed from culture, unbeneficially in this case. Small village circles. Aloofness. Lack of wide perspective and small mentalities.

As beautiful as countryside living is, by living right in thick of the chaotic society is such a grand education in the long run.

 

[December Flower]

My mom wants to be called by name/weird nickname
My dad's just "Papa"; or "Väterchen" jokingly, but he doesn't like that
My sister's Alice & my other sister is "degenerate lazy narcissistic piece of shit that we should have never given shares in our company"

Don't have contact to other relatives, and my grandparents are dead

 

[Xorkoth]

My good friend and his brothers and dad all call his mom "Tiny", it's the only thing they call her, and it's always been that way. To other people he says "my mom" though, just among the family, it's "Tiny". My guess would be that his dad called her that as a term of endearment and the kids always heard it, and started using it too when they learned how to talk.

Actually, my grandma, my mom's mom, we call "Mamo" (like mom-oh), because that was how I tried to say "grandma" when I first started to talk (I had super bad pronunciations, really funny ones, like "fish" was "tay", somehow, "penguin" was "maymo"). All the adults thought it was cute, so it stuck and it seems weird to call her anything else. As she started to get super old and a bit loose, pre-senility, she told me it always annoyed her. lol, oops.