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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

⫸STICKY⫷ We Will Never Forget You, EADDerz

Shady's Fox said:
last time he was arguing with dresden in the molecule thread, haha. I don't think he's dead, most likely no reason to log-in. He seems a thoughtful person so anything can happen.
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You'd have to physically ban him ala Evie to stop him shitting all over this website. Thus, jail/dead.
 
@mokele No doubt it's hectic! Take care of yersen and keep on keepin on <3
@ScotchMist Fuck... Really? I knew from meeting him that things were not the best they could be, but never thought he'd .... well...

I'm so sorry for his loss (if that's what yer saying - confusion is rife but I'll take no chances :()

I've been clean for more than half a year now (booze aside) and had a mate come over and use my phone to order some shit t'other day - Didn't give in though.

Just fuckin love each other everyone <3 As without love there is nothing. Gahhh.... Shit gets real extremely quick and I just hope for the best for everyone xxx
 
Fuck knows why but found myself looking over old threads c. 2012 today - and thinking of Mugz, Cornishman and Knock. Hope the others I knew from that era are well. :sus:
 
monstanoodle said:
@mokele No doubt it's hectic! Take care of yersen and keep on keepin on <3
@ScotchMist Fuck... Really? I knew from meeting him that things were not the best they could be, but never thought he'd .... well...

I'm so sorry for his loss (if that's what yer saying - confusion is rife but I'll take no chances :()
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Sorry for the confusion, its not Sam of EADD fame. Sadly, another close friend of mine unrelated to the site died..

I didn't give it a thought but with hindsight, that was pretty fuckin dumb of me.

Glad you're doing well with them drugs. I'm doing fairly well in that regard, less so in others but we can't have it all can we..
 
has anyone heard anything from Limpet Chicken? I am at a complete loss, I have no idea where on God's green earth he is.
 
Bella Figura said:
Have you asked Sadie?
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During my final attempts at moderation it became impossible to discuss the bizarre and concerning disappearance of LC as any mention was used by a couple of bad faith members to start constant barneys. Whatever ones thoughts regarding the member and despite how badly I dealt with moderating his content he was never the actual issue, just an easy target for others to use for bullying and to trot out his decade + old light infraction history as an example of how crap and biased I was. I can only assume the worst at this point and it hurts to realise how incompetent I was in stopping the abuse he so often received.

Another one that haunts me was the Saturday afternoon I was here alone, tripping hard on 300ugs of Penny Acid and coming to the realisation that Ordinary Mind was definitely gone, having disappeared mid thread conversation just as his parents were leaving the house to him for the w/e, with OM having bought tons of novel and powerful drugs from the DW. While it is inevitable BL will lose members I know that OM was relatively young and again, as one of the Mods at the time my behaviour was so reprehensible with respect to my drug use that I cannot imagine I provided anything other that harm maximisation due to the bullshit lifestyle I was sharing.

Still thinking about both you folks x
 
Yeah I was also gutted about OM, we'd been exchanging PMs quite a bit just before he passed away. I had to take yet another BL break after that.

People die on here all the time unfortunately, you can almost always see it coming too...I wonder if sometimes we should encourage more people to use live-chat services like tripsit.me when they're drugging on their own.

But sadly, can't save everyone from fucking up, just do the best you can.
 
Bella Figura said:
Yeah I was also gutted about OM, we'd been exchanging PMs quite a bit just before he passed away. I had to take yet another BL break after that.

People die on here all the time unfortunately, you can almost always see it coming too...I wonder if sometimes we should encourage more people to use live-chat services like tripsit.me when they're drugging on their own.

But sadly, can't save everyone from fucking up, just do the best you can.
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While it would still be awful (I cannot imagine for instance, the amount of folk the likes of you and SHM have seen move on over the sites history) to hear of OM's passing it was the absence of information that fucked me up, not knowing.

Despite my and others making enquiries for nearly 2 years after his disappearance I never personally settled it. While I did not have an off site relationship with him, I felt close to him by proxy due to ScotchMist's friendship with him. As I have stated often, Scotch is only one of 2 full on IRL friendships I established through BL and while getting ready to leave our hotel room for the Digbeth Institute the night he took me to Godskitchen's 'The Last Dance' as a 37th B'day present I remember him having a long, deep conversation with OM on the phone as I was bouncing about as the whizz took effect. As the last time I went out dancing (to a club I had attended regularly since it opened in 1998 )details like this stick as it was such an epic night (1 gram whizz, 1/2 gram MDMA crystal and 200ug 1P - LSD kept me dancing for 7 hours give or take, behaviour I had not engaged in for over a year at that point).

So, this is the first time I have heard a member confirm his death. What a fucking kick in the balls, such an upbeat and effervescent young man who was guilty of nothing more than the same stupidity I still get away with.
 
I never got off-site confirmation, I'm just assuming seeing as it was such an abrupt disappearance coinciding with a drug binge and never to hear from him again...I did try to find out myself from the little I knew about him but to no avail unfortunately...
 
Bella Figura said:
I never got off-site confirmation, I'm just assuming seeing as it was such an abrupt disappearance coinciding with a drug binge and never to hear from him again...I did try to find out myself from the little I knew about him but to no avail unfortunately...
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I getcha and have edited accordingly. My only hope is that he got into so much trouble with his folks they put him so solidly straight he did not even consider posting again.
 
This Einstein quote can be of comfort at times:

Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.
 
Do any of you 'older' members ever just wonder why your the one still kicking and so many others aren't?? I don't really go online much these days, but still think of all the people who've gone even ones who just aren't here on the forum. Was such a big part of my younger self's life. Think about Dave alot, still can't believe that cunts gone. Same with Martin, haunts me to this day what I did before hand, he was such a gentle soul. And I was a piece of shit drug addict who has cheated death more times than I can count on one hand. Doesn't seem right. Hope I'll meet them all again one day.
 
CbRoXiDe said:
Do any of you 'older' members ever just wonder why your the one still kicking and so many others aren't?? I don't really go online much these days, but still think of all the people who've gone even ones who just aren't here on the forum. Was such a big part of my younger self's life. Think about Dave alot, still can't believe that cunts gone. Same with Martin, haunts me to this day what I did before hand, he was such a gentle soul. And I was a piece of shit drug addict who has cheated death more times than I can count on one hand. Doesn't seem right. Hope I'll meet them all again one day.
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No, but just because I do not does not change the fact that it is an important and excellent question. I, like so many, did not engage directly with BL as a member until I felt I had no other option, having lurked around the site since late 2004 using it and pillreports.com as a resource both shortly prior to and more intensively after becoming dependant on heroin for the first time in 2005. It took the drought at the end of 2010 to see me actually register an account however with the site being the only independent confirmation I had as to what actually happening. As I was just chipping at the time, I stopped using the "stevesircull" acct. after a few months, not returning until I knew I was heading for a major relapse at the end of 2013 and about 14 months until finally asked for treatment, having managed my habit cheaply through the use of AH7921.

While I could still kark it at any moment, the reason I am still here has to at least be in part to Evad et. al. and all who shared their experiences first and possibly made judgements of error that, recorded for posterity, continues to extend if not outright save many lives on here. BL is only the gold mine it is through a global experience of trial and error.
 
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CbRoXiDe said:
Do any of you 'older' members ever just wonder why your the one still kicking and so many others aren't?? I don't really go online much these days, but still think of all the people who've gone even ones who just aren't here on the forum. Was such a big part of my younger self's life. Think about Dave alot, still can't believe that cunts gone. Same with Martin, haunts me to this day what I did before hand, he was such a gentle soul. And I was a piece of shit drug addict who has cheated death more times than I can count on one hand. Doesn't seem right. Hope I'll meet them all again one day.
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yep totally. looking back i played with fire a lot. the only time i actively knew i could die was in my last week of using before rehab, i didn't care cos i didn't want to go to rehab, and am honestly still surprised i made it.

i had the pleasure to meet both dave and martin before they passed and had a thoroughly enjoyable and suitably druggy time with both.
 
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