Opioids Using recreationaly again after detoxing?

[johnloperamide]

Can anyone really go back to just using once, twice every few weeks after becoming addicted?.. I'm almost through with day 5 of PST withdrawal after one and a half month of use and well I'm thinking about buying enough for 2 days for next week, only if I'm done with withdrawals which I think I will be... Knowing how painful getting off this was what would you say are my chances of using recreationaly every 2 weeks?.. I was able to overcome a hyrocodone addiction last year but after 4 months of being clean or so I used again but kept it down to 4, 5 days about one a month max so I never had to experience serious withdrawals again, so only experienced very very mild ones... This was also because I could only get them once a month from a my dealer, but the seeds, I can get them any time and I'm already very very proud of myself for not buying anymore this week even though I felt like fucking shit, still feel quite bad.... I want to use some next week as a way of rewarding myself, how foolish would it be? thanks

 

[Erikmen]

I don´t think so. And by doing that again you would just prove that we can´t go back to recreational users.
Believe me, I´ve tried. You may succeed for a while but chances are that you go back to addiction. IMO of course.

 

[Treefa]

Recreational use.

That about sums it up...there is NO way for you to use opiates in moderation, all recreational users, for the most part, just CANNOT make themselves use opiates responsibly, hell even many pain patients can't do it....it takes moxy for sure, and if I was a gambling man, which I ain't, i'd bet you ain't got the moxy.

Actually I KNOW you ain't got the moxy, I mean shit OP, your on day 5 of PST withdrawal, that's not even technically "clean" you still have conjugated morphine in your piss, and I would gamble on that one...

If you made it THIS FAR....why give in now?
If you'll give in, you'll give up, if you'll give up, then there isn't anything left.

 

[MainLiner420]

I would say the odds are against you. Although in 15 years of opiate/heroin addiction I have never been able to get over the withdrawls and hit any sort of clean period. But my ex-girlfriend who recently did a 30 day detox/rehab stint, completely detoxed with subs, she did a rappid detox and was clean and with no withdrawls in about 9-10 days. And then was in the program for 21 days completely opiate free and over the withdrawls. While within two weeks of being back home she caved and got some H. Was able to do that batch over a 1-1 and 1/2 days, stopped for about 5-6 days got some more H but this time continued to use over 3 1/2-4 days and woke up the next day feeling pretty shitty, not full blown bad withdrawls but still pretty crummy where you wouldnt want to work, and now is trying to get off with using as little Lopermide as she can but has still used here and there during this trying to get back off process. All in all everyone is different but im pretty sure the odds are not in your favor. In my 15 years of addiction I have only known 1 maybe 2 people who were able to use H on the weekends or maybe 2 times a week and never get to the withdrawl part of the addiction and didnt have it take over their lives and the 1 person I forsure know of is actually living a very successfull life now with a wife and 2 kids and a great job, and now hardley ever touches the stuff maybe once a year. But out of the hundreds of people i have witnessed including myself completely control and ruin their lives, the one lucky person was it. And most likely you are not going to be that one lucky person especially if you have already shown yourself that you have had issues handling it in the past. If you have the will power than stay away my friend, it would be the best decision you ever made in your life.

 

[wezface]

I agree with the consensus: mentally, it's incredibly difficult. And I'd like to add something with a more physiological twang to it. When you've been an addict and gone through withdrawal, especially for a long period of time, your brain chemistry changes. And the more times you go on and off of opiates, the higher the likelihood that taking any sort of opiate, even once, will cause withdrawal symptoms. I've been on and off for years and I tell you what, I pay a pretty hefty price for a night of fun. I can use once and spend two days with the sniffles and yawns afterward. It's also very hard on your body to keep going through withdrawal. This is the reason you'll see recovering addicts refuse pain medication (in addition to the aforementioned psychological issues) in a hospital setting: they don't want to get sick. So even if you could maintain a weekend warrior position, you'd likely experience some adverse withdrawal effects anyway.

 

[Joey24x18]

That's the addiction talking. You're craving to get high. If you were even going to attempt this, which I recommend you don't, next week is not the time to do it. Id say give it six months. If you can go six months without opiates, then if you absolutely want to take the risk, use for a day and then set it down if you can. I know thats easier said than done.

Opiates are sneaky bastards. I've dabbled with my fair share of them, luckily I never caught a big habit. I tend to fuck myself over with GABA type drugs Lol either way addiction is hell.

The only drugs that I can use every day and not become dependent to is weed and psychedelics. Everything else throws me into a downward spiral to rock bottom.

 

[Bomb319]

Recreational use.

That about sums it up...there is NO way for you to use opiates in moderation, all recreational users, for the most part, just CANNOT make themselves use opiates responsibly, hell even many pain patients can't do it....it takes moxy for sure, and if I was a gambling man, which I ain't, i'd bet you ain't got the moxy.

Actually I KNOW you ain't got the moxy, I mean shit OP, your on day 5 of PST withdrawal, that's not even technically "clean" you still have conjugated morphine in your piss, and I would gamble on that one...

If you made it THIS FAR....why give in now?
If you'll give in, you'll give up, if you'll give up, then there isn't anything left.

I know you mean well and I agree with your general advice. However with opiate addiction, there is quite a bit more that simply "having the moxy to control it". It's been well established that certain chemicals in your brain as well as certain neurons themselves get rewired and hijack your reward system. I really doubt most people choose to go through the utter hell of cycling through bliss and severe withdrawal over and over again.

 

[johnloperamide]

Haha I was totally expecting these kind of responses.. I appreciate them cause it is at least making me think it twice before I use again next week... I just went on like a 7 mile walk with my dog and felt sooo good.. oddly, as soon as I stopped and lied down I started feeling worse so I took my temperature and I have a fever again but still worth all that time feeling good, the longest I've gone feeling good since this shit started

 

[d1ahp]

It would be extremely foolish.

Come on, man. You know you can't use them in an occasional, recreational manner. You're an addict. You might not know it yet and disagree with me, but all the threads you've made regarding this topic speak for themselves. I'm not saying this to insult you. You might dabble once or twice, but it's just a matter of time before you order the big bag again and get back on the wagon.

 

[wezface]

Staying active and staying hydrated are two of the best things you can do right now to help you get through it. That you're feeling better is a good sign.. usually it takes about three to four days for me to start feeling the vitality again, seeing the colors, feeling the feelings, etc. But yeah, I'd not plan on using any time soon. Set a date if you have to, and then decide when you reach your goal. But staying away is going to make you feel better than any use in both the short and long term. Make sure you're getting some nutrition (if you've got the nausea going on, Ensure or Slimfast type shakes are a good way to go) and keep getting out and about every day.

 

[johnloperamide]

Staying active and staying hydrated are two of the best things you can do right now to help you get through it. That you're feeling better is a good sign.. usually it takes about three to four days for me to start feeling the vitality again, seeing the colors, feeling the feelings, etc. But yeah, I'd not plan on using any time soon. Set a date if you have to, and then decide when you reach your goal. But staying away is going to make you feel better than any use in both the short and long term. Make sure you're getting some nutrition (if you've got the nausea going on, Ensure or Slimfast type shakes are a good way to go) and keep getting out and about every day.

Yes I kept on reading how exercise helped and I remember with hydro that made me VERY depressed, I would basically cry like a baby every day for 7 days, I tried exercising too and it was the only thing that helped... This time I'm not getting depressed or anxious but the physical symptoms are 1,000 times worse than with hydro.... And no luckily I am not experience nausea nor have I in all these days, my worst symptoms are the fever which has my skin burning and hurting all day long and pain in my legs which seems to have gone away now with the walk...

 

[johnloperamide]

It would be extremely foolish.

Come on, man. You know you can't use them in an occasional, recreational manner. You're an addict. You might not know it yet and disagree with me, but all the threads you've made regarding this topic speak for themselves. I'm not saying this to insult you. You might dabble once or twice, but it's just a matter of time before you order the big bag again and get back on the wagon.

Idk if I would consider myself an addict yet, I know I can be one but I still feel in control completely... This walk I just did made me see things differently and I'm looking forward to repeating it tomorrow so maybe I won't need the seeds if I can get hooked on running like I used to do for a long time... I however, will not buy seeds till I'm done with withdrawals 100%.. So I am said next week meaning monday or tuesday but if I am not 100% I will not do it.. maybe I never will again who the hell knows

Yes, I have made a lot of threads, it helps me to write it down and express myself, so thanks everyone for answering..

One question for you d1ahp.. I know you have used PST a lot before or maybe still so let me ask you, do you get depression and anxiety when you stop? I got all that a lot with hydro but none with this and I was surprised, I was fearing that a lot and I'm super glad it hasn't happened.. I'm being a rock mentally this time .. just tired of the physical illness

 

[P.o.T.u.S]

Very foolish..its the brain trying to feel the euphoria again..reward yourself with a nice meal or maybe a gift..or reward yourself with more clean time..id say wait ateast 3 months before even thinkin about rec use..if at all..do u think u are entitled to a reward? Being sober is its own reward

 

[johnloperamide]

AHHHHHHH I just logged in into my amazon account to order my dad's Father's Day gift and I saw the picture of that delicious bag on my orders.. AHHHH fucking shit, I need to delete my fucking account... I didn't buy more but I just hate how fucking easy it is for me to get this shit!!!!!!!!!! Fuck You Amazon! and especially you Amazon PRIME!

 

[Joey24x18]

AHHHHHHH I just logged in into my amazon account to order my dad's Father's Day gift and I saw the picture of that delicious bag on my orders.. AHHHH fucking shit, I need to delete my fucking account... I didn't buy more but I just hate how fucking easy it is for me to get this shit!!!!!!!!!! Fuck You Amazon! and especially you Amazon PRIME!

This post right here sums up why "recreational" use is out of the question for you bro.

 

[johnloperamide]

This post right here sums up why "recreational" use is out of the question for you bro.

I didn't give in now did I?.. Why is it so hard to believe I will use only twice next week and let it go... Don't we all want to say goodbye to the people we love?

 

[Fire&Water]

...Its not "fucking easy"...why do you struggle to get it ?

 

[johnloperamide]

...Its not "fucking easy"...why do you struggle to get it ?

I think you may have misread, since it is SO easy to get it,(the click of a button) it is harder for me to stop because in my mind I know I can get it the next day... and it is legal, so don't have to worry about the cops

 

[One Thousand Words]

I didn't give in now did I?.. Why is it so hard to believe I will use only twice next week and let it go... Don't we all want to say goodbye to the people we love?

You have already said your goodbye. If you use again next week you are inviting them back inside your house

 

[johnloperamide]

You have already said your goodbye. If you use again next week you are inviting them back inside your house

It wasn't a proper goodbye, I didn't kiss them or hug them... my goodbye was taking a 4oz a Friday, I dose 10-14oz for a good day, as I was trying to taper down and realized I started too low so I was already in withdrawal so used all I had left which was 7oz(which got me feeling pretty good) to make it through the work day and then went cold turkey and here I am.. So while I am on day 5.5 I could also say it has been 7.5 days since my last real dose, Thursday morning 14oz... I tried tapering twice and failed both times so this time I just bit the bullet