smileyfish
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2002
- Messages
- 1,091
I guess there's been a few for me.
- I was always a pretty miserable kid with no social skills who got picked on. At 15 i realised that if I wanted that to stop then *I* had to change, I consciously became more outgoing instead of hoping that if I was quiet and unobtrusive people would just leave me alone. Some friends I made after this change are still with me today.
- Going on student exchange at 17. This got me away from my family early enogh and for long enough to realize that I was developing the same behavioural patterns as my (rather unhappy) mother and that I didn't want to be that way. I leart to be more spontaneous, less uptight and gnenrally a more fun person. I also leart that I can be a very strong person at one point during my exchange when my host family asked me to leave and I had to find myself somewhere else to go.
- Third year uni, aged 21, when I suffered from a major bout of depression and nearly dropped out of uni. I dragged my arse to counselling - one of the best decisions I ever made. I leanrt that the way my family works is not normal or healthy and that I shouldn't feel suilty about "being a bad daughter" for not being what they want/playing their games. Over the years I've gradually improved the realationship with my family and made some really positive changes.
- Lastly, committing to my relationship with Cuddlefish. Reaching that point where I was fully vulnerable emotionally and not running away, then sticking around to work things through when they get rough.
These are the most important events in me being the person I am today. I look forward to many more to come.
Smiley
P.S. Strawberry Love Muffin - excellent post! I relate to much that you said and you expressed it well.
- I was always a pretty miserable kid with no social skills who got picked on. At 15 i realised that if I wanted that to stop then *I* had to change, I consciously became more outgoing instead of hoping that if I was quiet and unobtrusive people would just leave me alone. Some friends I made after this change are still with me today.
- Going on student exchange at 17. This got me away from my family early enogh and for long enough to realize that I was developing the same behavioural patterns as my (rather unhappy) mother and that I didn't want to be that way. I leart to be more spontaneous, less uptight and gnenrally a more fun person. I also leart that I can be a very strong person at one point during my exchange when my host family asked me to leave and I had to find myself somewhere else to go.
- Third year uni, aged 21, when I suffered from a major bout of depression and nearly dropped out of uni. I dragged my arse to counselling - one of the best decisions I ever made. I leanrt that the way my family works is not normal or healthy and that I shouldn't feel suilty about "being a bad daughter" for not being what they want/playing their games. Over the years I've gradually improved the realationship with my family and made some really positive changes.
- Lastly, committing to my relationship with Cuddlefish. Reaching that point where I was fully vulnerable emotionally and not running away, then sticking around to work things through when they get rough.
These are the most important events in me being the person I am today. I look forward to many more to come.
Smiley
P.S. Strawberry Love Muffin - excellent post! I relate to much that you said and you expressed it well.