Benzos Unexpected, Profound experience with Temazepam with a few questions

[BIGsherm7272]

First off, I want to preface this by stating that while I have been a member of BL for over 5 years, and for several of them was a regular visitor to this wonderful source of very informative knowledge on a wide variety of subjects, ranging from support forums, to the always entertaining Lounge, but most importantly of all the vast amount of information pertaining the use of psychoactive substance of all forms, ranging from personal anecdotes to complex subjects, such as advanced pharmacology discussion and perhaps life-saving harm-reductions techniques and general knowledge, which has more than likely aided millions of people to maintain a healthier and more informed way of consuming substances of their liking.

This site is the greatest source of knowledge (at least for the general public) for many of these topics, some very taboo and some that show brilliance in all different forms. I am glad to see that after a 3 year-hiatus that not too much has changed, which IMO is just fantastic. I would also like to apologize if this is not the correct forum for this type of question/discussion. If so, mods please feel free to move to the appropriate discussion area.

With that out of the way, please bear with me as I am coming down from 100mg of instant release amphetamine (prescribed for legitimate conditions), some of which I may have taken a little too late (guess that's the addict in me). While I do not feel bad whatsoever, I may not make too much sense at times but I will try my best. I appreciate any insight or feedback.

Little bit of my background: Heavily addicted to many substances, mainly opiates, from 2009-2013. Decided I wanted a better life for myself and made a choice to go to treatment in April of 2014. Best decision I have ever made. While I still had some struggles from then until now, my overall quality of life and sanity is not even comparable to what it was. That being said, in part of the after-math of my disease and the path I went down, I pretty much destroyed my life. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. I have been in the process of trying fix clean up this mess I created and try to find some kind of peace within myself. So I sought the services of a therapist and private psychiatrist.

Sorry if I strayed too much from my initial question here, just kinda reflecting upon some things. Anyways, After many medication changes, and partially due to losing my health insurance and no longer being able to afford the crazy prices that my current meds would fetch, I had to go off them for couple months, which was tough, but I managed. I am diagnosed as Bipolar 2 with mainly depressive features, Social Anxiety, severe chronic insomnia/hypersomnia, and to top it off ADHD. I was able to save enough money to pay cash to see my psychiatrist (they are pretty understanding of current financial woes and are willing to work with you). $75 seemed very reasonable for a specialty doctor office visit, heck my copay would hve been $45 with insurance anyways.

So I was initially on Vyvanse 70mg for ADHD and EDS due to newly diagnosed severe sleep apnea, Seroquel 200mg for insomnia, Propanolol 20mg for anxiety and benzo withdrawal symptom control (prescription/not abused), and Latuda 80mg for BP2. Initially all was great, vyvanse is an amazing medication and helped with my EDS/ADHD significantly. Seroquel worked like charm for sleep, but at the unfortunate trade-off of me gaining 50lbs in 3 months (keep in mind I had already went from 250lb to 300lb in years span from Remeron prior to this), which became a huge concern due to my overall amount of health conditions (asthma/heart condition/highBP/Cholesterol issues/and undiagnosed hypothyroidism that improved many of these after treatment began), and the fact the my depression and having never had any form of self esteem in my life would mean that treating my insomnia outweighed treating the actual causes of most of my mental and physical issues.

So after 3 months of no meds due to no insurance, I got to see him finally and we agree that we need to make some changes, being price-conscious of the medication we choose. So I end up on Adderall IR 20mg BID, Topiramate to be titrated from 25mg-100mg over the course of 2 months (for aiding weight loss and treating my bipolar depression, which is somewhat mild), and the medication in question: Temazepam 30mg QD at bedtime.

My doctor is aware of my past addiction issues, and that I would like to void benzos if possible, but we agreed for me to take this for no longer than a month, and we have a good, honest relationship so I trust his judgement and he trusts my usge of my prescriptions. So finally to the ever-so elusive and desired temazepam (at least from what I had read on this site and others.):

I do have a history with benzo use, at first was sporadic, maybe few times a month, and was mainly xanax, with klonopin coming in a few years down the road. Oh and some valium too. I loved me some diazepam. At equipotent doses Diazepam was the standard in benzos for me. It was a perfect anxiolytic, muscle relaxant, and euphoric substance. In fact, it was the only benzo that met more than one or two of those criteria at a time, and it was the standard that I compared every other benzo to. Need to stop severe panic attack in its tracks or end a horrifying trip quickly? Xanax, no competition. Anxiety that persists all day and trying to avoid to much redosing and sedation? Klonopin seems to be the most efficient at this without making one feel too drugged up, if at all. Haven't tried a bunch or other ones, but I'm sure some come close or may even match or yet even be superior to valium. Only downside to valium is very short duration of therapeutic effects, despite having a 200+ half-life. Solution? Take more. I think I may have finally found one to dethrone the all-mighty Prince Valium. But if you would have asked me last night, I would have told you go take a real benzo and come back.

I am prescribed 30mg, which is about the highest recommended dose, which I found out is roughly equivalent to 0.75mg of the King of the true anxiolytics, Alprazolam. Just as little as a few months ago, I need over 3mg of clonazepam for a decent therapeutic effect. Naturally I thought shit, so much for sleeping tonight or getting anything out of the worthless script. I also want to note I was just started on topiramate 25mg the same night, about an hour before taking any temaz. If this had an effect or not, at first I was skeptical, but after tonight that query has been thrown out the window. I ended up taking 30mg on the first night, waited and hour, nothing, took another 30mg, yet again, nothing. Was starting to feel pretty bummed, mainly that I had taken Adderall earlier and was counting on the temaz to work its glorious magic, and if not with sleep, at least with the anxiety from the comedown. After pretty much giving up, I took a 3rd a final one for the night, and about after laying in bed for 2 hours, I began to feel what resembled a dose of around 2mg of klonopin. While I thought it was efficient, I was at least glad I felt something.

Fast forward to tonight. Consumed 100mg Adderall between 2pm-12am, IR, mostly orally and a couple nasally. Since I had not taken a dose like that in few months, I knew the inevitable crash from hell was approaching. So in desperation I reached for my temazepam and kinda said "Please just get me out of this and you will served your purpose". I took 60mg at once, and 20mg of propanolol, as well as my usual paranoid cocktail or vitamins/aspirin/ibuprofen/benadryl/melatonin/and plenty of fluids, and then began my wait for hell to show its nasty face. But quite the opposite occured. After about 30 minutes, I felt the most euphoric feeling that any benzo has ever granted me before. I was very lush, comedown completely fucking annihilated/nonexistant, and an overwhelming sense of joy and peace, with empathy and feelings of inner peace that had a MDMA'esque property to them. 4 hours later, and I'm still fucking great. I believe it actually triggered a very mild hypomanic episode, which for me are actually and get out of jail free card from the own prison I created in my own mind. It was very enlightening, and I finally have found something even greater than the once untouchable Diazepam. It also was a cautionary tale, as I now can only begin to understand the addictive potential of these "make-life-much-much-better" pills.

So my questions regarding the experience and temazepam in general are,

1. Is it common for your body to take a couple days before the medication works as intended, such as can be the case with many with cannabis?

2. Just exactly how addictive is this benzo vs others, especially in the psychological department?

3. Should I stop while I'm ahead? I never want to experience benzo withdrawals again, but god damn, temazepam sure is making me not give a flying fuck about using restraint with it, kinda like its saying "You know you re going fucking take the whole month's prescription in a week and not give a fuck because it is so fucking awesome?

4. Has anyone had any similar experiences, especially with it taking 2 days to start working, and does anyone have any cautionary tales/trainwrecks involving the substance that I probably need to hear? Also some tips for safe consumption, such as safe dosing, what not to combine with, how long to take it for, etc.

Sorry for all my rambling, probably just a product of how fucking good I feel despite no sleep after tons of adderall. Fucking top tier substance, no doubts.

 

[mysafehome01]

My answer to question 3 is, yes. I believe Temazepam is a short acting BZD which would make the withdrawals even more awful.

I've had experience with Temazepam and also another short acting RC Etizolam/ Etizest. Both have caused absolutely awful withdrawals from as little as 1 month moderate use.

It's not prescribed often in the UK because of the likelihood of abuse.

 

[BIGsherm7272]

Thank you for the quick reply. I guess I better chuck it, huh? I also have 5 refills on it so I should probably call my pharmacy and tell them to delete the prescription, because to be honest, even though I have for the most part overcome my addiction issues, this one just seems a little insidious to me. It just feels to fucking good compared to other benzos and the attitude I already seem to have is "well, since you have it, why not take it, since it is so fucking awesome". I will admit, this one really did take me by surprise, considering just the previous night an even higher dose had effects that were nowhere near as powerful as it was last night.

I really do wish I could trust myself and just use it occasionally for sleep as intended, but it is just to fucking delicious for me to resist. I am glad I did not discover this a few years ago! I would have had a serious issue on my hands then....and I already had some pretty bad ones already. It definitely is the Flagship of benzos imo. Almost has a barbiturate-like feel to it, or kinda like a zolpidem/diazepam hybrid, except without those terrifying delirium-like hallucinations zolpidem can cause. Besides the hallucintions, Zolpidem is actually highly euphoric for me, even though I understand only a certain % of people respond to it like this, which is strange because a few years ago I could take Ambien by the handful and it did absolutely nothing!

 

[kangaroojackaroo]

Hate to jack post BUT BL won't let me start new thread...

I fell In love with Valium 6 days ago when I took it for the first time. I proceeded to take it, 30mg per day, sublingually, for six days. With zero tolerance with the shit( I have never taken a true benzo before this) I had a lot of fun, and It was all a bit of a crazy haze. Anyway, I feel a bit hungover, but I am curious if 6 days is enough to cause physical withdrawal. It was the most irresponsible drug binge of my life, but I've heard of much worse.

I do not plan on taking anymore. I Have experienced phenibut withdrawal and I cannot imagine going through that bullshit again, thus I am cutting off my benzo use immediately.

But still, the question lingers... Will 6 days oral Valium at 30mg cause withdrawal?

 

[BIGsherm7272]

I fell In love with Valium 6 days ago when I took it for the first time. I proceeded to take it, 30mg per day, sublingually, for six days. With zero tolerance with the shit( I have never taken a true benzo before this) I had a lot of fun, and It was all a bit of a crazy haze. Anyway, I feel a bit hungover, but I am curious if 6 days is enough to cause physical withdrawal. It was the most irresponsible drug binge of my life, but I've heard of much worse.

I do not plan on taking anymore. I Have experienced phenibut withdrawal and I cannot imagine going through that bullshit again, thus I am cutting off my benzo use immediately.

But still, the question lingers... Will 6 days oral Valium at 30mg cause withdrawal?

I will preface this by saying that I am not a medical professional, so what I state is purely from my own personal experience and knowledge I have gathered that would help answer your question.

Most articles states that it takes a minimum of 2 weeks of daily dosing to become physically dependent on benzodiazepines, but this will vary greatly for each individual. For some this may be the case, but for other it may takes months, or never to seem to materialize in the first place. Why this is, I don't know.

But I can almost guarantee you that you will not suffer any major physical or mental withdrawals from the amount of usages and doses stated. At the very worst, you may experience some very minor rebound anxiety/insomnia, but I really wouldn't worry yourself over it. 30mg is not a large dose by any means (I use to consume 100mg+ nightly easily for weeks in a row, on top of high-doses of potent Benzos for many months at a time with no break), and while I did eventually suffer some disconcerting, maybe even downright terrifying withdrawal periods at times, I never got to the point of shaking violently and have seizures and crazy hallucinations 24/7.

Now don't get me wrong, benzos could very well be the most physically addicting substance currently available in many parts of the world, with the US and parts of Europe sticking out in particular. It is truly a travesty the rate and in-discrimination and alarming rate at which these are being prescribed, unbeknownst to the poor patient who has no idea about the hell and utter chaos and insanity he is about to unleash upon himself, which all came from a genuine cry for some relief.

Sorry to ramble on, but I do not believe you will feel any negligible W/D symptoms upon discontinuation of current stated doses and frequency of use. Other may chime in to give some more ancedotal views, but I think they will just kinda reinforce what has been said here.

BTW: A word of caution, continued benzo usage will only lead to an ever increasing obsession and desire to take more, and eventually it turns from recreational use to the fact you need it to survive, literally, at doses that you would probably never would have believed to have been possible to be consumed by even a rather drug-dependent fellow.

But the fact is none of this is to scare you, it is completely true, and may even be an understatement of the horrors these "miracle" compounds WILL unleash upon your body, soul, and most importantly your mind, which is the greatest thing you have to lose. And it doesn't happen overnight, but give it a few weeks of increasing doses and less positive recreational and therapeutic effects. I Personally went from need 1mg of alprazolam for anxiety relief with no superior, all the way up to need 10 mgs 3 months later just so I didn't have to worry about having grand-mal seizure in front of those I love and cherish most, and the day we love and cherish most. And that was the acceptance of my descent into definite insanity and more than likely death.

So, what choice at this path in my life do you think I chose to follow? Welp, Let's just say I had almost finished my ascent and had accepted my fate.

But you are in the position to either follow the path I and many others have (I pray for each and every one of us suffering from this nightmare we keep waking up in, yet don't have the means to stop participating in our own mental destruction, but I can only hope, it is all that keeps most of our world to keep trugging along to that promised land of some form of peace, whatever that may be). But what I do know, is it can't even come close to being as hellish as this purgatory of insanity we involuntarily have to sign up for and sign a life-time commitment for the most unfortunate.

Sorry for the rather dark, but very real and cautionary example of what abuse of any drugs can do to ones life, especially benzos (The devil's subtle killer)

(BTW, if any of my references to any biblical entities or anything that you consider god. and has offended you, atheists especially, I am in now way religious and dont aprrove of organized religion in any form or fashion. No Argument will ever persuade me from the ideology which is ingrained and protected so deeply inside me. I also respect everyone's beliefs as long as mine as mine are treated with the same respect.

TL/DR:

No, you will not experience withdrawals the the doses you took and the total amount you took them. If you re looking to abuse them and like the effects, either quit or seek professional help. If it was for short-term relief from a traumatic event and under the care and supervision of a physician, then keep doing what you are doing. I hope you find the relief you need, free from the crutch of the most effective medication out there for what you are suffering from. If you ever have any concerns or questions, I would advise speaking to someone who is actually certified to correctly answer your question, but if that is not an option, feel free to message me and I will do my best to give you factual, evidence, and experience-based answers.

Always remember, life is fucking awesome, and if currently not, trust me if you are an honest, caring person who truly wants to help himself and others with expecting nothing in return, your life will be beyond anyone's currently possible finite concept of what we call dreams. Make your own, and mold them and live in them. And never give up or turn back on your core beliefs, the one's that make you human, as imperfect s they may be. This is the beauty of Humanity that no other species to date has and probably will never achieve. Unfortunate, yes, but its why we were ultimately put here, or created, or evolved, or whatever/doesn't matter. Improve yourself and all life around you with pure intentions and love. Peace.

 

[manboychef]

Your posts are very long.

To answer the original question.

I take temazepam for insomnia...yes they are addictive, yes you will get withdrawal syndrome from them. You should continue to take them, however try not to do the up then down with amphetamines then benzos.

Temazepam works great when taken as prescribed, but loses its effect quickly when abused.

 

[Burnt Offerings]

I've gotten the same feeling you describe from standard doses of certain benzodiazepines, notable clonazepam and diazepam.

I have taken temazepam (Ristoril 30 mgs) before, but I didn't find it to be particularly notable at the time.

 

[kangaroojackaroo]

BIGsherm7272: Well by God, you're reply was not straightforward, but boy was it something to read, much more lovely than straightforward. It was the information I needed, and beautiful, without superfluity. Appreciate the reply.

Cheers.