timetohunt
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2007
- Messages
- 334
Two intertwined questions on Methadone & Advice on getting completely out from here.
I have only just added methadone into my pain management rotation in the past 18 months, and even at that only regularly the past 5 months.
I used pharmaceutical pain killers, mostly oxy and opana in my first 7 years of my pain treatment and eventual addiction. At my worst up to 300 mg of insulflated oxymorphone. During some withdrawals I couldn't even walk, pure insanity.
So, to make a long story short how is that I can take 25 mgs of methadone and not be sick, while I often hear of clinic patients being on 100, 150, even 265 mgs. Is there any patient that needs those doses?
Now more importantly, I think methadone is going to be my way out without wanting to kill myself in the process of withdrawal. I've tried Suboxone, but it brings on terrible symptoms of serotonin syndrome. I gave it a good 18 months, but it just never agreed with me. I stayed on it for far to long anyway. It might have been my ticket had I just stayed for 2 months. It didn't take me long to figure out that I had one of those sub doctors that didn't know the ceiling for most addicts isn't going to be much more than 12mg/day. Heck, even 4mg for many addicts. He started me at 24mg. I was only on 4mg by my own guidance and donated the leftovers. I went through 45 days of restless body syndrome when I just had to get off sub. A pretty crazy scene. I went back to the oxy world sadly very soon after. A chance blown there, but my anxiety issues were so off the charts. That was my excuse to keep using then.
Back to the methadone related part of this:
So, it seems that an average methadone clinic patient may be say at around 40-80mgs (are those #s right, I'm getting it for pain, and don't have clinic experience).
It seems comforting for me to know I might be able to come down relatively 'gently', though I'm well aware of the PAWS nightmare and the more specific misery of Anhedonia. The only thing in the short term for terrible anhedonia is some alcohol. I even despair upon how opiates even changed my once enjoyable relationship with booze. Now its a comfort med during WD, not good, i know.
My worst enemy of the whole thing, even prior to full blown addiction is my generalized anxiety and cortisol problems. But seeing how I can be fair or kind of OK off just 25mgs of methadone. Plus a few new 'discoveries' I've recently began using to battle the three worst symptoms (anxiety, fear, and cortisol related panics). I suppose having an Anhedonic brain can also be included into those worst symptoms eventually after being totally abstinent from opiates. Anhedonia being part of PAWS, or possibly it being simply another word for the PAWS condition.
Any thoughts on all of this? Like I said, methadone is not brand spanking new to me, but related to other opiates it is. And also my absolute pondering of a human being using something like 150 or more mgs of it a day....just mind boggling.
Thanks for reading. Things are getting so tightened down, require so much hassle in the opiate pharmaceutical world.....I want out. It's already taken parts of my soul, not to mention material wealth. Deteriorated my talents and health.
I did gain a lot of unsavory associates and I never got fat.....thanks dope!
Side notes: I do get some pretty potent IR meds, but other than some upbeat feelings and energy (both rather temporary and fleeting compared to years past), I don't really need them. I'm still prepping my way into a ween down, and it won't involve these. The hardest thing is a 'special needs' person is highly dependant upon me. I might have a few days at most to ever totally check out to withdrawal. That's a huge factor which I have no idea how will turn out, totally up to the winds of chance as far as I know right now. Scary...here comes fear. That special needs person is the most important thing in my life. I'd detail more, but don't want to be identified by chance. Unlikely, yes, but impossible, no. And, that person has nothing but me to help. No family that can satisfy those needs.
I mentioned issues with cortisol, it can best be explained most times when I wake up. I've been told that I often wake-up as if I'm being chased by a Grizzly bear. An immediate fight or flight thing, no drugs to tame it. I'm often no good for a whole day later, except staring into space, overly awake yet exhausted afterward. I knew something like that was happening, but a hormone test verified it. That often makes me think about .......bad things, making it stop. A crap load of opiates used to help some, but not anymore.
I have only just added methadone into my pain management rotation in the past 18 months, and even at that only regularly the past 5 months.
I used pharmaceutical pain killers, mostly oxy and opana in my first 7 years of my pain treatment and eventual addiction. At my worst up to 300 mg of insulflated oxymorphone. During some withdrawals I couldn't even walk, pure insanity.
So, to make a long story short how is that I can take 25 mgs of methadone and not be sick, while I often hear of clinic patients being on 100, 150, even 265 mgs. Is there any patient that needs those doses?
Now more importantly, I think methadone is going to be my way out without wanting to kill myself in the process of withdrawal. I've tried Suboxone, but it brings on terrible symptoms of serotonin syndrome. I gave it a good 18 months, but it just never agreed with me. I stayed on it for far to long anyway. It might have been my ticket had I just stayed for 2 months. It didn't take me long to figure out that I had one of those sub doctors that didn't know the ceiling for most addicts isn't going to be much more than 12mg/day. Heck, even 4mg for many addicts. He started me at 24mg. I was only on 4mg by my own guidance and donated the leftovers. I went through 45 days of restless body syndrome when I just had to get off sub. A pretty crazy scene. I went back to the oxy world sadly very soon after. A chance blown there, but my anxiety issues were so off the charts. That was my excuse to keep using then.
Back to the methadone related part of this:
So, it seems that an average methadone clinic patient may be say at around 40-80mgs (are those #s right, I'm getting it for pain, and don't have clinic experience).
It seems comforting for me to know I might be able to come down relatively 'gently', though I'm well aware of the PAWS nightmare and the more specific misery of Anhedonia. The only thing in the short term for terrible anhedonia is some alcohol. I even despair upon how opiates even changed my once enjoyable relationship with booze. Now its a comfort med during WD, not good, i know.
My worst enemy of the whole thing, even prior to full blown addiction is my generalized anxiety and cortisol problems. But seeing how I can be fair or kind of OK off just 25mgs of methadone. Plus a few new 'discoveries' I've recently began using to battle the three worst symptoms (anxiety, fear, and cortisol related panics). I suppose having an Anhedonic brain can also be included into those worst symptoms eventually after being totally abstinent from opiates. Anhedonia being part of PAWS, or possibly it being simply another word for the PAWS condition.
Any thoughts on all of this? Like I said, methadone is not brand spanking new to me, but related to other opiates it is. And also my absolute pondering of a human being using something like 150 or more mgs of it a day....just mind boggling.
Thanks for reading. Things are getting so tightened down, require so much hassle in the opiate pharmaceutical world.....I want out. It's already taken parts of my soul, not to mention material wealth. Deteriorated my talents and health.
I did gain a lot of unsavory associates and I never got fat.....thanks dope!
Side notes: I do get some pretty potent IR meds, but other than some upbeat feelings and energy (both rather temporary and fleeting compared to years past), I don't really need them. I'm still prepping my way into a ween down, and it won't involve these. The hardest thing is a 'special needs' person is highly dependant upon me. I might have a few days at most to ever totally check out to withdrawal. That's a huge factor which I have no idea how will turn out, totally up to the winds of chance as far as I know right now. Scary...here comes fear. That special needs person is the most important thing in my life. I'd detail more, but don't want to be identified by chance. Unlikely, yes, but impossible, no. And, that person has nothing but me to help. No family that can satisfy those needs.
I mentioned issues with cortisol, it can best be explained most times when I wake up. I've been told that I often wake-up as if I'm being chased by a Grizzly bear. An immediate fight or flight thing, no drugs to tame it. I'm often no good for a whole day later, except staring into space, overly awake yet exhausted afterward. I knew something like that was happening, but a hormone test verified it. That often makes me think about .......bad things, making it stop. A crap load of opiates used to help some, but not anymore.
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