Heroin trying to kick H addiction - but did i just bottle it?

[He_railer]

Dear fellow bluelighters... i'm coming to you as a long-time lurker who needs an opinion (reassurance? ) on my situation....

Background:
Have been snorting heroin on-again off-again for some 15 years... although in reality the time i have been on h is really a minority... however due to the sudden availability of new connects with cheaper stuff i have been over-indulging as of late...

Current situation :
now i have been using 7 months straight (my longest stretch ever) and due to tolerance build-up was railing some 4 bags day (each bag is approx. 0.25g - though this is street quantity and street quality).... anyway... I managed through superhuman efforts to reduce this to 1 bag and went cold turkey from there... at t+48 I was in the midst of the usual (vomiting, shitting, RLS and all) and just snapped and scored a bag...
Needless to say i felt immediately better and managed to eat and lie down and sleep...

The question :

now what? Am i going to be starting over from zero again? I.e. am i looking at another 4-5 days? Or do i get away with it?


I cannot be the only junk-lover to have slipped during his detox... i'd love to hear of any similar experiences....

 

[Felonious Monk]

You didn't "get away with it" as clearly you're feeling guilty and that has affected your recovery.

However, in the physical sense, it may be a small enough amount that it will not send you back into the earliest stages of withdrawal. You'll be the only one who can really judge this, but you probably saved yourself by only doing one.

Now, if you don't do any more, I'd say you're still on a good track, and not to beat yourself up over one mistake (especially if that's the kick you need to make it).

 

[Blackout2906]

Dont worry it won't be a total set back but yes you will have to go through the same withdrawals just not as intense... It's still gonna suck. But this is the best way to come off a drug... I have had heavy past opiate and benZo addictions and whenever I use meth now I usually go on a 2 day bender and consume about 8mg of xanax with it. To try and curb the crash from both these drugs, the night after my comedown I usually take .5 to 1mg of xanax to ease myself off the bender...

If I don't do this then I will get the shakes and some annoying anxiety and insomnia just from coming off a one time high dose experience. Coming off the lowest dose possible is always the best option to have the least withdraws. I will say that this never worked with heroin for me though (the psychological pull of the drug was too much to taper. Any other drug I can do this with though).

Just in case anyone was wondering I've been on suboxone for a year now and I also had a year clean from everything because of jail, so I know what it's like to be "serene" lol... Wasn't for me. I need to have some type of medicine or drug in me to control my anxious personality and to give me confidence and self esteem in myself. Sounds miserable don't it? It's better than looking and sounding like a scared little boy who has a horrible stutter because of anxiety... I will take suboxone for the rest of my life, and I am fine with that.

 

[szuko000]

I fully believe these steps are part of recovery and this is the only reason why I am slightly comfortable with the phrase "once an addict always an addict" not because you cant "get over it" but because life goes on for a while and we are our experiences. What I mean by this is we all need to refresh the idea or find the answer so the question doesnt bother us forever. It is that reason that lead to my relapse but now i know next time i am off for a year not to go back because i am just like everyone else. It may not seem that important or you can say well obviously you would fall victim to a full blown addiction again, just like everyone, but without first hand knowledge the idea i could get away with it would always be there.

I guess what I am trying to say is dynamic of life is such that sometimes we NEED that experience to move on.

 

[LilikoiMoon]

Congrats for weaning down. Even though you used again, don't beat yourself up too bad. You took a major step in trying to kick this habit.

I've never been into street heroin. However, my love affair is with my RX for Opana and to me, it's no difference .. A habit is a habit.

It's a life long struggle being an addict. Sobriety is hard as hell.


You did what you could to relieve WDS. They are horrible. I've been there, and that's why I keep methadone on hand, as it helps me wean down, completely off all meds when I need a break. I never take methadone longer than a week at the time. Crazy, huh?

Now what? Start over again. Since you used to aid in withdrawals, find a remedy to help the withdrawals be minimal, or zero. There's great advice on here about meds to take to help. If you're serious about staying clean, only you can make the choice to cut ties with dealers, friends who use, etc, and change for the better.

Best wishes!

 

[Wonka]

Listen to your heart...i bealive you showed alot of growth with your question did you stop or bottle it? do whats best for you and try to kick the habit there is more to life then that. remmeber if you cant do it alone dont be afraid to ask for help it can be a very hard thing to do on your own. stay safe

 

[An___Druu]

I've done the same thing many times, make it 2-3 days then use a little, and wonder if I wasted all those miserable hours. Turns out I did, because I always ended up continuing to use in that situation . But you don't have to now! Just get motivated and get some help! Ie benzos! I just finished my kick last week man it feels so good having detox in the rear view. It's hell but u can do it. I've always had to have a sibling basically tie me down, also. Don't be alone and grit your teeth in a cpl days you be chilling =] if u don't use any more, who knows, maybe you got some reprieve and dodged a bullet.. Seems possible just so hard to not do again after the one yaaaa kno

 

[Tacoma]

My biggest help through withdrawal poppy seed tea!

 

[Erikmen]

You didn't "get away with it" as clearly you're feeling guilty and that has affected your recovery.

However, in the physical sense, it may be a small enough amount that it will not send you back into the earliest stages of withdrawal. You'll be the only one who can really judge this, but you probably saved yourself by only doing one.

Now, if you don't do any more, I'd say you're still on a good track, and not to beat yourself up over one mistake (especially if that's the kick you need to make it).

The first withdraws are the easiest ones so do it while you still can.
IME, addiction is like that, when you get all figured out - the best deals seem to appear out of the blue..
And it's always the best ever..

 

[methkite]

Im in the same boat. strung out on dope, checked myself into 7 day detox. came out, did some dope right off the bat. took a few days in between. now ive used every day, but i dont get sick in the mornings. im trying to keep a lid on it, but it really is hard.. but i dont think that one time or even a few time use is going to set you back to day1 ya know. Just try and take breaks in between use. Im just waiting on my adderall script and a few zannies and hoping to get a week in between my using... idk good luck to you though man.