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  • AADD Moderators: swilow | Vagabond696

Thinking of the Future?

Well

I lost my girlfriend of nearly 4 years. High school sweet hearts you would say, going out since we were 15.

I lost motivation...self respect at some stages and self discipline.

You want to quit drugs ? Sort yourself out FIRST, then delete all drug related numbers in your phone, then cease ''friendship'' with your drug related friends. Especially with meth, its like a social-activated drug. Then organise activities n shit to get your mind of everything. Alcohol is a good drug to get off the other drugs...but be warned, alot of people turn out to be alcoholics!!!
 
I feel like its inevitable for me.

Considering my lifestyle has only lasted a few years, I've certainly come a long way in the last 6 months. I don't do psychs anymore, have stopped daily weed use, and have cut down from 4-5 pills once a week to 2 once a fortnight. I'm already feeling the effects of my usage though. My memory is shot to shit, and my moods fluctuate from happy little camper to punching holes in walls. I actually think the worst part of the whole "personality change" thing comes from the culture.

I really got (and still am really) into the club scene. I started off as a pretty normal guy, but spent far too much time around these beautiful, plastic people. Pretty soon I became vain, and self obsessed, to the point where I've basically got an eating disorder, and really only spend money on clothes, drugs and my general appearance. I went from being a bit of a shy, nice type to being obsessed with sleeping around with the most attractive, mentally vacant girls I could find, so arrogant that I have to check the mirror every 5 minutes.

My own vanity and insecurities caused me to cheat on my girlfriend (lots), and for some stupid reason, I became (and still am) completely obsessed with my weight. I went from a normal 34 inch waist, to my size 30 jeans needing a belt. Lost around 15kgs that I really didn't need to.

Regardless of the toll the lifestyle has taken on me, I've had some great times. It gave me a relationship with my brother that I just never had before, we were too different, and now we're very close. It gave me confidence (well on the surface anyway) thats gotten me my job, and some very nice ladies. The memories will always be there, and I seriously doubt I'll ever be completely removed from it. But it'd be nice to go back to the time where I could enjoy something sober....
 
chandler said:
it'd be nice to go back to the time where I could enjoy something sober....
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Yeah....that's what I mean. I even saved up deep and meaningful topics for the weekends! Then I'm left thinking about half finished sentences, things that were said on important topics out of context...not remembering if I said something or just thought it...wondering midweek what they meant when they said such-and-such...only to find out they don't remember even saying it...

I really need to be able to talk and connect with my partner like we used to...when sitting across the table with a coffee was enough to connect.

I know it's not the drugs...it's my inability to be moderate. Was fun while it lasted...up until the last few months anyway.
 
My partner and I are I think responsible with our attitude towards drug usage. I use them very occasionally (maybe 4-6 times a year for about 12 years now) and always with a break between usage. I tend to find that it is not so much the usage of drugs that causes most issues in a relationship, not so much as the reason for their use.

I take drugs occasionally basically to have a bit of weekend entertainment outside my normal perception (a very new age statement but there you go). I know that at the end of it the come down may not be pretty and that it will be a while before I'll do it again but making sure that you are enjoying your life outside of drugs is a great way of ensuring that you can enjoy returning to that life when you break from it.

Taking drugs to escape problems is not a sound approach because while temporarily they may help you overcome a short-term argument they can lead to a pattern of abuse that could culminate in a need to feel drugged up to make the relationship function. I have seen a few friends in that position, and I have helped them through it. It's not a pretty sight and its a long road for anyone to take.

Basically I guess that you should examine the reason's for taking drugs, if it is to feel an emotional/spiritual connection with your partner then you need to think long and hard about why that is the case. It's important as well that your relationship doesn't trap or isolate you from what you enjoy, but the reasoning of that enjoyment is the key.

My partner accepted me for who I am, flaws and all as I did her. I consider myself extremely lucky that I have such an understanding lady in my life and we have been married now for 4 years. Built on respect, love and an appreciation of not just what we enjoy doing together but the differences that put passion into a relationship. Drugs may be a passing phase or I may take them for quite a long time yet but not to escape my own reality or my problems.

Debts come and go, sorrows come and go, and life keeps throwing at me whatever its got and as I get older I enjoy it more and more. Drugs are a fun part of that life, but are not the reason for living it. :)
 
Top post k0rs0.

I always think about this too and I think my time is approaching for the 'slow down'. It's beginning to cause problems around friends.

For me I don't think I would have considered slowing down if it wasn't for meeting my G/F, I think it was just a way of dealing with primarily social problems. My cut-down begins in one week, I'll try to remember to edit this post in a few months about the results.
 
8luelight said:
Top post k0rs0.

I always think about this too and I think my time is approaching for the 'slow down'. It's beginning to cause problems around friends.

For me I don't think I would have considered slowing down if it wasn't for meeting my G/F, I think it was just a way of dealing with primarily social problems. My cut-down begins in one week, I'll try to remember to edit this post in a few months about the results.
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Thanks 8luelight, yeah deffinitely post back here, it would be great to see a complete story as opposed to a part story. No doubt your fellow bluelighters will help if you need us. :)
 
Good thread. Good to see others are going down the same path that me and my gf are.
I spose oout of the 2 of us im the naughty one you could say. She loves Meth and so do i but i love her so so so much more. Its just hard cause both me and the mrs didnt really get the chance to party when we were younger so we both make up for it know.
I think using on the weekends is fine as it shows some self discipline if it didnt the weekend use would migrate into weekday use.
Drug use for us is definately slowing down. Ive been smoking weed for many many years and until about 6 months ago i had never been a day without a cone in about 4-5 years. Know ill smoke if i feel like it or can afford to. Not only that for the last 6 months ive been on home detox for my massive Benzo addiction (first it was Valium then Xanax) which i might add was a living nightmare and a bit of a wake up call. Id been thrashing Xanax for 4 years or so and the detox really messed with both my mind and my body.
Since coming off the Xanax i seem to care alot more which im sure you guys can understand. Know i care i dont want to be who i used to be.
I want to be a good dad and husband. As opposed to living life in the drug world.

PEACE
 
the future ........ that is some thing i thought of a few years ago and decided to change ....the result has been bordem loss of mates but still now ive stoped it all so much i dont think i could go back to the man i used to be. i still yearn for the old life but sensability seems to get the better of me.
damn sensability!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
You know its strange to think back and realise what actualy got me into drugs. Ive never in my life been someone that has gone out looking for trouble, never smoked, hardly ever drank and i really had to think what the hell got me into it.

I wouldn't say i havnt enjoyed the experences ive had up until this date, there has been alot of awesome nights, met tons of awesome people who ive formed bonds with that i would other wise never had. but the reality of it all is, when the nights ended, your left with that horrible period where you cant stop thinking about all the money you just blew, or how terrible your gonna feel for the next few days.

One of the turning points for me was one time i was at home, and i looked at a picture of my parents on the wall, i felt so guilty taking drugs in there house, knowing i hadnt been brought up this way... hard to explain, but all the lying, doing it all behind there back just made me feel so bad, that it outwieghd the high i got from the drugs.

I wouldn't say id never take drugs again, i might just take a bit of a break, and get my head together, after another bad experence over the weekend with speed, spending alot of money, i just thought what is it all for, like every thing i geuss, just take it in moderation, clearly ive over done it and steped over the mark, but at least ive realised it and didnt get myself into to much trouble, both physicly and lawfully, any way im gonna stop raving on cause i know it sounds like im spinning shit,

party safe and let the good times roll;) /endrant
 
wow.
i'm so many comments along the lines of people really not enjoying their overall drug use, even when it's recreational. that surprises me somewhat, but it's very cool to see people doing what they need to do to feel better or get on with life.

me personally..
i've been using for close to three years - stimulants and pills. i only use them to add to fun i'm already having, not as the source of fun. at most i'll use pills once/month, usually it's more like 6-8x a year, stimulants a little more often but always in small doses. i've never had a bad experience with my drugs, no terrible comedowns and managed to avoid ever buying complete duds. i think it's because i always take the time to be educated, respect the substances i'm using. i look after myself - physical and emotional health, also study Buddhism - i have a budget i stick to so that money is not a concern, i've got pretty good self-discipline..

i dunno. i haven't had any problems related to my substance use and can't really anticipate any occuring. i'm pretty upwardly mobile, got a degree under my belt and a career bouncing along in leaps and bounds. been in a fantastic relationship with my grrl for the last 4years (we discovered drugs together) and are building a nice little life together..

Drugs are really only a part (notice not all) of what i do for recreation. just like i might blow a bunch of money jumping out of a plane, i don't mind blowing a bunch of money on altering my reality. my use might very well decrease over time - my interests may shift a bit, whatever, but i don't see me making a conscious decision along the lines of "this must stop now". i'm just gonna go with the flow. as long as i want to use, am having fun doing so, and not experiencing any negative effects, i probably will. if it feels like to time to slow down, or stop, i will.

i spose it all comes down to who you are, how you use and how you tick . . and having the self-awareness to manage all of that.
 
^^ Great post btw!! I agree with 100%. I also believe that people who are more self aware tend to have a better overall experience with drugs and can most likely use for longer periods without effecting much in their lives.

For me i believe that drugs has just become apart of my lifestyle. It defines a lot about who I am, and where Im going.

I still think of the future, and I still move forward, dispite taking drugs most weekends. It hasn't really effect anything besides my bank balance, but hey, I have enough in life to keep me happy and fulfilled and I really dont feel limited by anything.

I like the above poster, stick to a budget, have my bills to pay and also like other things in life... (im a chick so shopping is one) and I wouldnt want to sacrafice those things!!

I dont always need to do drugs, but I like to, and until that changes well Ill just keep on going up my yellow brick road :)
 
well that is y im trying 2 give up........at least for 6 months
and i know realistically thats gonna b pretty hard cos my life 4 the past 4 and a half yrs has JUST bn about doing drugs - 2 escape, 2 take away boredom, 2 comfort me, etc etc etc
and i just luv them, u know meth is killing me, the doctor keeps saying i am the weight of an anorexic and im so used 2 living on like 5 hrs sleep it doesntt phase me anymore
ive only GONE 2 days so far and im still smoking weed and doing pills but man i cant contemplate cutting anything else out yet
i dont want 2 stop doing weed cos it helps my medical condition, but ive got 2 admit im hating it at the moment cos i can hardly concentrate anyway
i know it sounds sick but even if i make 6 months i will smoke meth again most likely, i just cant imagine the need 2 will eva go away so its going 2 b like an evry 2 months or so treat :(
its not even cos of me, i hate how angry its made me and how paranoid - i hav hurt so many ppl and taken so much money and ive smashed things up and hit my dog and ive just not cared, well thats selfish and i think its time 2 start caring......anyway sos far since ive stopped evrything makes me cry, i cudnt hurt a fly, thats GOT 2 b a gd thing
 
haha !! I just found this thread where about 2 years ago I quit everything lol




Yeah.:\ Sorry for bumping such an old useless thread. i just got a grin out of the whole "I'm stopping and never again" routine
 
Slateroz said:
My partner (about 10 years younger than me) wants to stop. The feeling of not being able to go out for a big night without drugs is disturbing him. We’re both ok with it on the night…but in week that follows, you start to think, “is it even possible for me to go out without drugs anymore?” That in itself is a worry.
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I've also been having this same conversation with my partner because our use was becoming to worry us. We've decided and promised each other from 1 January next year we're going to hit up a 6 month break and just go out and drink alcohol with our friends as most of them are not into the drug scene.

We've promised to support each other and make sure the other doesn't get back into it for that 6 month period then reasses at the end of it. We're also talking about getting married within the next few years and I've tossed up proposing to her next year so it's definately a worrying about the future issue.

I guess the underlying problem is that we both do think 'Do we even know how to have a good night out without pills anymore?' and I think the answer is yes we do but we are going to struggle to begin with which in it self is a bit scary.
 
lslslsls said:
I guess the underlying problem is that we both do think 'Do we even know how to have a good night out without pills anymore?' and I think the answer is yes we do but we are going to struggle to begin with which in it self is a bit scary.
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Yeah...But I thought to myself...how different is this to people who go clubbing each week and get really pissed? Because alcohol is acceptable, they never stop to think there's anything wrong with it.

What I realized, is that we (and you) had/have to find other things to do with your significant other that is NOT related to partying or night clubs.

It's far easier to do other things (like movies and dinner or whatever) instead of clubbing, than it is to change the way you like to feel when you are clubbing.

That way when you next do pills in a club...its NOT the only way you've been enjoying yourselves.

It'd be more of a worry if you only liked each other or only had something to say when you;re on drugs...because that means your relationship is fucked and drugs are the only way you can communicate and feel normal. That's where I was.
 
Slateroz said:
What I realized, is that we (and you) had/have to find other things to do with your significant other that is NOT related to partying or night clubs.

It's far easier to do other things (like movies and dinner or whatever) instead of clubbing, than it is to change the way you like to feel when you are clubbing.

That way when you next do pills in a club...its NOT the only way you've been enjoying yourselves.
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That's so true. That happened to me and my boyfriend too. We gave up our habits 2 years ago and moved to Queensland where we had (ha! and still have) no connections. We were pretty bored and clueless for about a year, but this second year has gone a lot more smoothly. We stopped trying to go to clubs and parties, because they were just depressing. Instead, we're really into restaurants, health, video games, reading. Basically we just have fun together with little projects.

I know all those things I just listed sound really boring to people who are currently taking drugs all the time, but I swear they become fun when you've got no other choice! %)

I've recently started going clubbing again a little bit, and it's fun all over again because it's "new" now -- but I'll never get sucked in like I did originally, because I've got so many other things in my life now that I like better.

If anyone is reading this and worried that they'll never be able to have fun again without taking drugs, don't stress! It does take quite a long time to get your mojo back and learn how to be social without them (or it did for us anyway) -- but you get there eventually!
 
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