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The world inside worlds

ovenbakedskittles

Bluelighter
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Jul 11, 2014
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516
There is so much more going on around us than what we are consciously aware of. We tend to diminish the fullness and richness that reality and perception and nature have to offer. We have to tune out certain things so that we can focus on our jobs and practical things like that. We wouldn’t be able to function if we were in that larger world all the time. We would just constantly look like we are tripping on acid.

We can explore the different dimensions of things if we opened our minds and really tried to focus in on it. A lot of people tend to think that if you’re tripping then you’re just tripping and there is no validity to it but the world of the exaggerated senses is actually what I would consider the “real” world. And the standard routine world of reality is the fake world that people have adopted as the real world. Because like I said before we tune these higher energies and sensations out to function in our mundane lives. But it also has to do with fear because we don’t understand that world and we are afraid that we will lose control and it will make us crazy or we might end up going to hell or something.

But hell is resistance. Hell is fear. Bad trips are resistance and fear as well. It’s just an indication that you’re out of alignment with your ability to love others and to love yourself. But that larger world you go into is the real world which is why it feels like it has so much importance and so much significance and why it feels like you’re coming home again. Or so I’ve heard people say that that’s what it feels like sometimes.

This is what religions was based off of. They are all trying to communicate a larger message that came from a larger world but it becomes corrupted and used for selfish purposes and then it ends up looking like bullshit and yet again these higher concepts get shoved down and swept under the rug and pushed to the backgrounds of our minds until they just sound like cliches or a cheesy metaphor. Like to spread love and to be yourself and That we are all one or something like that.

But the reason why we are able to come up with all of these creative artistic ideas that captivate people and reach down to their souls and the deepest recesses of their minds and their psychology. It’s because these artists and musicians and movie makers tap into this larger world that is beyond our perception and tap into these larger fundamental concepts and that’s why the best songs are about love and being yourself and to not give up and have faith in yourself. Those are the types of ideas and concepts that connect us all together like an underlying thread imbedded in all of our minds and emotional centers.

But we can also enter this world and take very negative things and concepts from it as well. But they still reach out to people because the larger world has novelty and colors that nobody has seen before. It doesn’t necessarily have to do with morality or good and bad. Where do you think thoughts come from? Where do you think ideas come from? Where do you think we go when we dream? It’s all another dimensional aspect of a larger world that is existing simultaneously with this one. Our focus has been directed towards the physical brain and we are scrambling numbers and formulas and chemicals around to try and figure these things out but it doesn’t work like that. It’s the wrong way to look at it if you really want to understand what is going on with those types of things.

Just because it’s considered “imaginary” or “abstract” or “delusional” doesn’t mean that it can’t exist in some other way that is entirely real in a way that we are not familiar with. If we lived in our dreams for the rest of our lives we wouldn’t know the difference and we would start to feel like the dream world is more physical and real than the world we are living in right now. Everything that you think is fake is actually real and everything you think is real is actually fake.

Tripping is not actually tripping. It’s realizing. It’s coming out of the haze. The universe talks to you. It gives you advice and guides you through your physical life. The reason why there is so much suffering and conflict in the world is because there is too much people who have cut themselves off to that voice of the universe. Everybody knows the things that they think they don’t know. Everybody knows there is deeper awarenesses and deeper energies and frequencies but they pretend like they don’t because they are scared. They are afraid of what they will find out about the universe and are afraid that it will break them.

But how can something break you or make you go crazy if you are in alignment with the truth of the universe? You would not feel the need to dismiss radical fantastical concepts and ideas unless you were insecure and fearful about your own existence and the fragility of your own psychology. How can you live life thinking that you just have to play it safe all the time? That’s the opposite of living and the opposite of why we are living life in the first place. We need to come out of our box and start taking risks and leaps of faith and realize the potentials of nature and the ability to tap into a larger world that is constantly trying to help us and guide us towards our awakening and enlightenment. Through ideas and thoughts and concepts. Anyone who is skeptical will miss out. You can keep telling yourself that you’re just being intellectual or responsible or careful to not fall for bullshit but everything has consequences even the things that you think are good.
 
Nice work. I think it's difficult to integrate ideas from other realms into this one. At least it takes time and understanding of how things operate here. I'd probably say that reality is what you make it and it can even appear more realistic on other planes of existence

Honestly, I don't know what religion is for or why it was created but that's okay. I accept that people use it to better themselves even if it ends up hurting others. It's out of my hands. That's a part of the world that doesn't seem realistic to me. It could just be that I don't understand it, but that's all right too

All the thoughts, memories and emotions I experience come from my ego. I'm not talking about my superficial ego in the world but the astral body. Some take this further to say that we each have a soul where all these ideas emanate, but I don't know how the astral body would play into that. I guess it's supposed to be connected by a lifeline or other ethereal attachment to keep us here
 
Is enlightenment the goal? Is there a goal? Who/what becomes enlightened? Who is asking the question?

You talk about playing it safe. What does not playing it safe look like? Being risque, going out into the world and doing a bunch of "stuff" just so that you can tell yourself you did something?

Knowing your divine self, the atman, the "real self" and not the projected/ego self, is basically the same as "the truth of the universe". You can't know the entire universe, but you can know the universe-as-you. It's not an experience, and it never changes. That's what's so great about it. It's something permanent. It accompanies you into your dream states, your waking states, your nothing-states. The persona or the avatar can resonate or dissonate with the atman. The ego that projects from the mind-body can try its best to align itself with the atman, but because the ego is ephemeral and a constantly shifting target - not to mention, it's holographic and is seemingly there one minute, and gone the next - it can't fully realize what we're even talking about.

This is all to say... nothing is wrong. Do a bunch of shit or don't do a bunch of shit. It's all just god and so are you. You're not even the one doing it. It goes on and on. Action and inaction are the same thing. It makes no difference really. Go out and accomplish a highly structured life, achieving everything your heart desires... or just go die in a ditch, known by nobody, having done nothing. There is no goal.

My personal choice, the meaning I choose to create, is based more on a logotherapeutic model (see: Victor Frankl). Life is inherently meaningless but what gives my life meaning is finding something to do, something that only I can do, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant it is, and fill the world with that. People like to talk about how if god is so great then why does god allow so much tragedy? Frankl points out that in the Auschwitz death camp, the people who already had god in their lives only came out more strengthened. The people who lost all hope and meaning tended to die.

A fire that is already strong will be made stronger by a storm. A weak flame will be blown out. The flame is built upon personal meaning. It doesn't matter if it's real or not, of this world or not, made of solid matter or not. If it's a meaning that resonates with universal-truth-as-you, as the atman, as the unconscious god, then you won't suffer as much. You may even find peace.

Humans are unique among all creatures in that we have the free will to apply meaning to anything in a possibly meaningless universe.
 
Couldn't God/god be the ego? I avoid that word because it implies worship, but just to use it as an example here of what it might mean to somebody. I never believed in a god so I'm not sure how people use that word. I assume it can mean pretty much anything though
 
Couldn't God/god be the ego? I avoid that word because it implies worship, but just to use it as an example here of what it might mean to somebody. I never believed in a god so I'm not sure how people use that word. I assume it can mean pretty much anything though

God is personal and impersonal. The personal component can get wrapped up in ego, sure.

And you're right, God can mean so many things. What I'm trying to get at is reality. Not what we think is real or our relationship to a projected view of reality, but what is actually real. Yes, I understand that sentence is triggering, but it's only triggering from a rational view, i.e. mind trying to grasp it. It's not something that is grasped by mind, although mind can provide some frameworks that sort of point you to it. There are some advanced people who are really great at satisfying the intellectual path to God.

What the majority of humanity refers to as God is not God. The existential philosophers talk a lot about this. Those who have endured extreme, depersonalizing suffering that strips them of conceptual frameworks end up discovering that the God they thought was God was not god at all.

Even talking about it now... it's not God.

As Dostoevsky said in The Brother's Karamozov: "Never be frightened at your own faint-heartedness in attaining love." Something common to his works is that in order to experience universal love - which is essentially what God is - you need to be crucified. Who would voluntarily do that? So, most people have a fragmentary, highly personalized view of God. For most, it's fine to stop there. No need to go deeper. No need to dissolve the persona or strip one's perceptual reality down to the wires. No need for self-sacrifice or suffering. No need for tests. This accounts for the so-called superficiality of religion. It's not intentionally superficial, but it comes across that way because the Godhead is never put to a significant test. It remains highly personal and subjective, a projection of the user, a user who either doesn't question the source or simply can't get at the source because of too much mind-body.

There is an objective God and an objective Reality. There is a truth that is not projected. To get it at though, you have to lose everything, and there's no reward.
 
Knowing your divine self, the atman, the "real self" and not the projected/ego self, is basically the same as "the truth of the universe". You can't know the entire universe, but you can know the universe-as-you. It's not an experience, and it never changes. That's what's so great about it. It's something permanent. It accompanies you into your dream states, your waking states, your nothing-states. The persona or the avatar can resonate or dissonate with the atman. The ego that projects from the mind-body can try its best to align itself with the atman, but because the ego is ephemeral and a constantly shifting target - not to mention, it's holographic and is seemingly there one minute, and gone the next - it can't fully realize what we're even talking about.

Sorry for the noob question - i never really delved too deep into such abstract conversations. I spend most of my time thinking and analyzing myself and others, trying to figure out how we interact with each other and our "universe", but never really connecting it to a higher level of consciousness. And TBH, IDK if that even makes sense what i just said.

It's really an endless excersize because no two people are alike - no one moment is alike - no thought, feeling or idea can define someone. But nonetheless, it makes me feel like I'm more in control of my environment.

Anyway, the question is how is our devine self constant? Are you saying we all are born with one seemingly hidden skill that can only be leveraged through devine knowledge?

I don't believe in total enlightenment. I only believe in different depths of introspection.
 
the true self the god-self is infinite underlying all of reality forever. Everything is in flux expect for this deep underlying awareness that is infinite.

Enlightenment comes in levels as you shift through you daily consciousness experince is radically altered. It takes thousands of hours of correct meditation to make things a realization. As your awareness upgrades you are no longer even seeing your meatsuit in a first person projection but your awareness taps into higher and higher realms where its pretty much a 360 around you detatched experiencing the entire moment instantly from all angles.
 
Sorry for the noob question - i never really delved too deep into such abstract conversations. I spend most of my time thinking and analyzing myself and others, trying to figure out how we interact with each other and our "universe", but never really connecting it to a higher level of consciousness. And TBH, IDK if that even makes sense what i just said.

It's really an endless excersize because no two people are alike - no one moment is alike - no thought, feeling or idea can define someone. But nonetheless, it makes me feel like I'm more in control of my environment.

Anyway, the question is how is our devine self constant? Are you saying we all are born with one seemingly hidden skill that can only be leveraged through devine knowledge?

I don't believe in total enlightenment. I only believe in different depths of introspection.

There is no enlightenment. Right now, this present moment, is your enlightened life. This is as good as it gets.

Forget the word "divine", it's too confusing. Think of it this way... the consciousness that lights up the mind and the body, this is the atman. Once the mind-body is illuminated by the atman, it can project the realm of experience. The mind-body can then experience the world of samsara, which is temporary and constantly changing. Each object in samsara is also its own atman, projecting an illusionary body of itself into the construct; and the entire construct is infinitely interconnected to everything and every one. The entire construct is god's projection, and each individuation in the projection is projecting its own little experience!

To use an analogy that might make this easier... in a movie theatre, characters are projected on a movie screen. They have minds and bodies. They are aware of themselves. Some of them may even be vaguely aware that they are just characters in a drama, a drama they call "life". The light source that they, and their entire world, is coming from, is the atman, or the light beam of the projector. The light beam from the projector never changes: it projects at the same amount of energy, the same voltage/wattage, its light bulb is fixed. The characters may experience bliss or suffer apocalyptic suffering. They may fall asleep, their egos may soften, their egos temporarily disappear through their varying states of "experience". The light source that illuminates them never changes.

There's more. The light source, or the atman, doesn't experience anything. It's not in the realm of experience. "Experience" is on the screen, it's not in the source of the experience -- much like how the light of the sun that illuminates our planet and gives visibility to a multitude of forms is NOT the sun. Only the characters are having experience, through their mind-bodies, which project egos, which have a sense of space-time and duality. Only the characters are in duality. The atman is not. The atman is the unchanged source. This is the real you, it is the one that awareness is coming from. When people say "the lights are on but nobody's home"... the atman is the lights.

Now... to expand this analogy. There are multiple movie theatres in the same complex. One theatre is a movie about a comedy, the other one is a movie about horror, the other is a romance. Whatever. The whole movie complex could be seen as "god" and each theatre contains a projected experience within god, illuminated by each atman. Each human being is the divine-unto-themselves. Each human being has an atman which is of divine origin, and each atman is projecting a mind-body that is capable of having a human level experience. Every object in the apparent universe is the divine-unto-itself.

god ---> atmans (an infinite number illuminating consciousness, the real you) ---> mind-bodies ---> egos/personalities calling themselves "I/you" ---> experiences

The atman is the not the entire divine, just like a beam of light from the sun is not the sun, just like a character on the movie screen is not the projector at its source. BUT... these things all come from the source and therefore they are part and parcel with it. Which is why the atman is of divine origin and is connected to the divine, even now. It is god coming through as the-atman-as-you, which is having an individuated experience. Why? Well, there is no why, because the atman is not in the realm of experience. One may say that god, for whatever reason, is having an individuated experience in a multitude of never-ending forms, and you are one of those forms.

This is why it's not enough to just say "we are all oneness". The statement is true, but each individual is personified oneness, NOT as ego, but the atman which illuminates their mind-body experience. It ignores the human level experience, your unique personification, to simply say "we are all oneness". If you abdicate yourself completely to the absolute and ignore your human level experience, you will suffer. Like... I don't have an experience of resonant bliss that points me toward the atman when I play soccer, or when I read about engineering or mechanics. My realm of experience has different qualities which point me toward it. So one could say that even the ego, although it is a projection of the mind-body, still contains some trace of the atman, through its preferences, likes and dislikes. Even the things that cause great dissonance in me, they can only be dissonant because something is resonant in contrast -- and that is the atman. Why has god projected an atman that projects a mind-body that has these preferences? I can only assume that it's because god is infinite and god is everything, so everything is represented in samsara.

This is all a very complicated way of saying... the atman is YOU. It's not a thought, an idea, or some abstraction. If you really do you, the real you, the resonant you, you will lead a life that has greatly reduced suffering. Not only that, your window of opening to the atman will be so frequent that you won't want to chase stupid things in samsara anymore. What can they possibly give you that your real self, your source self, can't?

If there is such a thing as enlightenment, it would look something like constant 24/7 awareness of the atman by the mind-body. I say awareness because the mind-body isn't the atman, but it can have conscious windows of opening into the atman, where it can have the experience of bliss. It's sort of like a character in the movie having a moment when he tries to look beyond the screen and sees the light that is projecting him, maybe triggered by an experiential moment of happiness by something that "happened" to him in his life, like having a really great day, or a chance encounter with an important person, or just a nice cup of coffee. He can't really see beyond the screen but he has a strong experience of resonance through life that is close to the resonance of his source, and somehow this reminds him that he isn't this "experience". Instead of associating the bliss with the object of experience (his coffee), he realizes that the bliss is simply his own source, and he normally misattributes it for his tasty beverage. Then he looks at the light and says, "Hey, that's actually the only thing that's happening there, that light! There is only one reality and it's that. Everything else is an appearance. In fact there is no "that light" because I am one with the light, even though I'm also this form. It's duality and non-duality happening simultaneously." But then the moment passes and he is back in samsara, maybe remembering what happened, except memory is false because the atman can only be here and now. Which is why enlightenment can only be here and now, not some goal we attain.

Enlightenment may look like someone never losing track of the present-moment Atman/real-self. I mean, it's always there, whether "you" look at it or not, but suffering ceases when you are able to see it because you realize nothing in the apparent world can possibly compare to its peace, bliss, and completion. It is the true home. It is YOU. Further, you then look out at samsara and realize that every object is also having an experience projected from a form, which is projected from an atman, which is projected from god, which is the oneness interconnecting the whole thing. How can you ever feel separateness, suffering, or loneliness ever again when you realize that every object is its own resonant experience of itself within god, and each object, although seemingly separate, is actually projected from a base reality that is god, like family? Like home? Everything in existence is related to you. Enlightenment may look something like that.
 
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The light that vibrates turns into matter.. which is a type of condensed (bundled) energy. From lightest possible frequency to the heaviest.
 
Is enlightenment the goal? Is there a goal? Who/what becomes enlightened? Who is asking the question?

You talk about playing it safe. What does not playing it safe look like? Being risque, going out into the world and doing a bunch of "stuff" just so that you can tell yourself you did something?

Knowing your divine self, the atman, the "real self" and not the projected/ego self, is basically the same as "the truth of the universe". You can't know the entire universe, but you can know the universe-as-you. It's not an experience, and it never changes. That's what's so great about it. It's something permanent. It accompanies you into your dream states, your waking states, your nothing-states. The persona or the avatar can resonate or dissonate with the atman. The ego that projects from the mind-body can try its best to align itself with the atman, but because the ego is ephemeral and a constantly shifting target - not to mention, it's holographic and is seemingly there one minute, and gone the next - it can't fully realize what we're even talking about.

This is all to say... nothing is wrong. Do a bunch of shit or don't do a bunch of shit. It's all just god and so are you. You're not even the one doing it. It goes on and on. Action and inaction are the same thing. It makes no difference really. Go out and accomplish a highly structured life, achieving everything your heart desires... or just go die in a ditch, known by nobody, having done nothing. There is no goal.

My personal choice, the meaning I choose to create, is based more on a logotherapeutic model (see: Victor Frankl). Life is inherently meaningless but what gives my life meaning is finding something to do, something that only I can do, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant it is, and fill the world with that. People like to talk about how if god is so great then why does god allow so much tragedy? Frankl points out that in the Auschwitz death camp, the people who already had god in their lives only came out more strengthened. The people who lost all hope and meaning tended to die.

A fire that is already strong will be made stronger by a storm. A weak flame will be blown out. The flame is built upon personal meaning. It doesn't matter if it's real or not, of this world or not, made of solid matter or not. If it's a meaning that resonates with universal-truth-as-you, as the atman, as the unconscious god, then you won't suffer as much. You may even find peace.

Humans are unique among all creatures in that we have the free will to apply meaning to anything in a possibly meaningless universe.
I agree with some of what you said although I have to make clear that I did not mean that you should take mindless risks just so you can look back retrospectively and nostalgically on them but to step out of your comfort zone in a conscious and self considerate way and to trust our intuition and emotional systems in order to produce novelty and excitement in your life.

And to think thoughts that are different and to re consider the things that you thought were stupid or ridiculous or delusional or childish or things you thought had no validity to it. People who value solid analytical facts and being a quote on quote intellectual who follow science and reject, dismiss, and downplay spirituality and psychedelic and religious experiences are the people who have the hardest time doing that and they will never experience this larger world that can enrich their lives and strengthen their ability to come up with better ideas and to think more clearly and expansively and thoroughly. They value the physical brain more so than their intuition and internal guidance systems and because of that, there is a certain aspect of them that is weakened and remains unaware and will prevent them from progressing in their discipline and makes it difficult to figure out things like dark matter and quantum mechanics.

I believe there is a goal. I believe there is a meaning and a purpose for why we incarnate and live life the way we do and I believe there is a meaning and purpose fundamentally. There’s actually many. Too many to count by human standards. The fundamental purpose is to learn and to expand and to gain knowledge and evolve and to become self actualized through the process of love and integration and connection and oneness. We all have individual goals but they are all fragments of a higher collective goal.

To not have a goal and to not have ambitions is to die spiritually and to separate yourself from the voice of the universe and that which is eternal and there is inherent suffering in that and what the Christians interpreted as hell and why they consider sloth as sin. That is resisting your true self which is always oriented towards progressing and evolving towards higher states of consciousness and better feeling states.

You can say that it doesn’t matter fundamentally and I would agree with that but at the same time there is another fundamental aspect that is oriented toward the continuation of it as well and to build upon it and learn from it. But free will trumps everything so if we were to decide that we wanted to die spiritually then there is nothing “wrong” about it per say. Its just a choice we made. It’s just the fact that it’s not the most pleasant state of being and comes with innate suffering and pain and lack of love and joy and is mostly a choice rooted in determinism and we will most likely not want to continue like that for much longer anyways.
 
I agree with some of what you said although I have to make clear that I did not mean that you should take mindless risks just so you can look back retrospectively and nostalgically on them but to step out of your comfort zone in a conscious and self considerate way and to trust our intuition and emotional systems in order to produce novelty and excitement in your life.

And to think thoughts that are different and to re consider the things that you thought were stupid or ridiculous or delusional or childish or things you thought had no validity to it. People who value solid analytical facts and being a quote on quote intellectual who follow science and reject, dismiss, and downplay spirituality and psychedelic and religious experiences are the people who have the hardest time doing that and they will never experience this larger world that can enrich their lives and strengthen their ability to come up with better ideas and to think more clearly and expansively and thoroughly. They value the physical brain more so than their intuition and internal guidance systems and because of that, there is a certain aspect of them that is weakened and remains unaware and will prevent them from progressing in their discipline and makes it difficult to figure out things like dark matter and quantum mechanics.

I believe there is a goal. I believe there is a meaning and a purpose for why we incarnate and live life the way we do and I believe there is a meaning and purpose fundamentally. There’s actually many. Too many to count by human standards. The fundamental purpose is to learn and to expand and to gain knowledge and evolve and to become self actualized through the process of love and integration and connection and oneness. We all have individual goals but they are all fragments of a higher collective goal.

To not have a goal and to not have ambitions is to die spiritually and to separate yourself from the voice of the universe and that which is eternal and there is inherent suffering in that and what the Christians interpreted as hell and why they consider sloth as sin. That is resisting your true self which is always oriented towards progressing and evolving towards higher states of consciousness and better feeling states.

You can say that it doesn’t matter fundamentally and I would agree with that but at the same time there is another fundamental aspect that is oriented toward the continuation of it as well and to build upon it and learn from it. But free will trumps everything so if we were to decide that we wanted to die spiritually then there is nothing “wrong” about it per say. Its just a choice we made. It’s just the fact that it’s not the most pleasant state of being and comes with innate suffering and pain and lack of love and joy and is mostly a choice rooted in determinism and we will most likely not want to continue like that for much longer anyways.

Thanks for taking the time to write all this. I'm not saying that life is inherently meaningless. I'm saying that we choose our meaning, and in choosing, it may be a good idea to choose a meaning that strongly resonates with us, because that resonance will give us a sort of spiritual bliss here on earth. Too many people choose life paths that are motivated by transient ideas, societal expectations, fear, or other things. My suggestion is that clarity of consciousness can drive better choices because the choices will be rooted in something real, rather than further fantasies or delusions (as you alluded to). As long as our choices come from deluded or clouded consciousness, we will continue to suffer and feel aimless.

At the end of the day, there are no wrong choices. Nothing is wrong because the universe is already perfect. So rather than trying to change something, it could be more useful to resonate with something. That may look like a life where your mission is to change something about yourself or the world. Great! What I'm saying is, at the ultimate (or foundational) level, nothing needs changing because the source is already perfect. Given that, our freedom lies in what we choose to create, and that creation can therefore be motivated by a deeper resonance with existence.

When some people receive this news and realize it's true, there are two reactions. "Man... this sucks... life has no meaning, so what's the point of doing anything?" While another may say, "This is awesome! Life has no meaning! I can create anything!"

Kind of like a sandcastle on the beach. One person may not bother making one because it gets washed away anyway. Another person would revel in its creation regardless of what happens.

We are free to choose any meaning we want.
 
I love this!

Thanks. And the cornerstone of everything I've tried to say here is... when we choose something to resonate with, the resonance is not by accident! The resonance tells us the exact nature of the inner atman, which is how the divine has come through, to live as you. I hate soccer (dissonance) but I love dancing (resonance). I don't know why, I don't care why. When I dance, the resonant window opens and I feel part of all existence. Well, maybe not every time, but a lot of the time. I could go try playing soccer and I would experience dissonance, but even then, nothing is wrong! It's all perfect because it wouldn't be dissonant if I didn't have a perfect atman inside for the mind-body activity to clash with.

So whether you're experiencing resonance or dissonance, it's all pointing you to reality.

I used to dream of grandiose careers and impressive things that would bring me prestige and gain me acclaim. And maybe for some people, that's exactly what helps them feel resonant. Now, I can feel resonance and utter contentment simply sitting by a lake feeding ducks... because I love ducks, and I have a much higher chance of a spontaneous resonant moment with them than I did breaking my back trying to make a career happen just so I could impress others!
 
When I astral travel I go to places that seem more real than fleshly reality. I know there are realms that are more natural or harmonious than this one, but I know you guys aren't addressing these things. If I weren't aware of other realms or dimensions I'd probably be very depressed. As it is, I find life to be a boring if not painful affair. I don't know how people cope with not knowing what I know. I really don't =/
 
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