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Venting The Vent/Rant Thread Vs. You Silly KnuckleHeads Can Go Fly a Kite!!

today i ruined a relationship with a new psychiatrist who is amazing. she understood me. after like five hours if consultations she put me on stretarline, agreed to switch me to valium from ativan even though i admitted to benzo abuse, got rid of remeron. er communicated so well with me and really understood me. and went the extra mile. id told her er lamotrigine hurt my stomach so she gave me orally disintegrating grape tabs.

i went to fill the scripts today and the phmarcixst flipped. he was like you filled an aitvan cript from a different doctor three dats ago. i was like so, it's different medication and i'm done with the old doctor. he called my new psych to ok it. i also let her a message saying this is like the 8th pharmacy i've been to and they all say there' out but the next one had it, finally one told me they needed to get a lot of the doc and get it ok'd, they said she want answering so i called.

at fiest she left an email saying if i gave the pharmacist my ativan i could get the valium filled. then as i was responding out she left me a voicemail saying i had betrayed her tudt and all this horrible stuff, the pharmacost who first hated me overheard and was like "let me give her a call; they often listen to us." after talking to him she sent me an email saying the script is canceld. i talked to her on the phone sne she said she'd still work with me but no valium script. that was a fucking fancy ass private pay doc.

so i went to my medicaid doc and sad i had a mental break down and a doc took me off ativan and remeroin and put me on laotrigine, stretarline, and valiun. now those are the three drugs he scripts me (h e wantedsome antipsych too but i dtold him no way and he was llike whatever)/ so i even though i douvr the really smart psychs med management plan, i feel horrible. she understood me so well. im so sad she fliooed she was like i trusted you and you betrayed me." and of course i had to be like "are you fucking crazy? i told you i was scripted ativan, i felled it before you scripted valium, you never said anything to waot. i asked why the hell didn't she just post date the script, but she called it in and was like "i don't post date scripd.

in the end i decided not to work with her. it makes me sad as fuck, even though she had priorly gone over with me the next half a dozen scripts she was gonn a try before the fight, and i have my pliable old medcaid psyvh to write whatever i want, but her guidance would have been so helpful.

the bright side is definitely i'm taking the course of treatment she reneged on. sertraline, lamotrigine, and prn valium. i bet it works pretty well, and if not i know she was gonna try escitalopram after before moving on to clomipramine drugs.

my parents were begging me to work it out with her because i had said so well she understood me. like there was something i could said like ok no valium i was just trying to scam it out of you. i been scripted ativan, valium, and/or klonopin for almost 20 years.

i asked her what her problem was and hadn't she ever treated mentally ill addicts before and she was seriously like no you're the first. she had only been practicing two years despire being part of a fancy self pay group. so i immediately said we are not a good match to work with each other and she agreed. but she is really smart and intuitive.

i swore so much at her. i've been seeing psychs for over 15 years and she's wrong. a doc writes you a new script and you stop taking the old one and take the new one. don't get me wrong; i was happy to have both. but that's party of scripts. makes me sad. she might have been able to really help me.

(edit: saiid medicaid doc scripted lamotrigine twice and omitted valium, which he did give me)
 
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I have some anxiety issues, and I've been talking to my psychiatrist, that I'd like to have something to be taken 'as needed'. We've tried like six different (non-benzo) medications, and he's always like: "No benzos. Let's try this other (crap) medication." I've been thinking of going to another doctor, but can't really afford it. So, I guess I'll just have to deal with anxiety by myself somehow, because he doesn't seem to want to help me. :confused:
 
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For some reason as I've gotten older laughing &/or smiling has gotten more & more painful. :!

I have no fucking clue why but whenever I'm happy or I guess more so amused I get a splitting headache. It's not so bad just smiling but if I'm actually laughing it's like a migraine level! If I'm laughing & enjoying something the back of my head starts to just throb. Stabbing pain that generally starts at the bottom & proceeds up & over like putting on a pain helmet. :| It's always been an issue that has caused me to avoid comedy & other things I enjoy but it seems to have gotten worse as I've aged. I used to be able to at least laugh a little but anymore if I do it's an instant trip down pain lane. Fuck me! :mad:
 
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I’m bored and I want alcohol and ambien but I am trying to quit that shit...

Fuck to the above and below, split it. I know it's hard to stay sober and boredom it's one of the most but the most common factor for doing drugs. Entertain yourself with something else, explore yourself. You have 1 life, after all -- you decide what's what. I have 12 yrs of sobriety if that tells you anything.
 
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Shes now developed feelings for an old mate.

Never experienced such torture in my life.

She dosent know what she wants. says she has feelings for both of us.

We need space. As hard as it is it needs to happen if i have any chance of getting my family back.

I love you so much caitlin, im so sorry.
 
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I will be ok, ups and downs are typical, i need to do me.
 
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I work at a drug/alcohol treatment center for men, we usually house anywhere from 300-500 men at any given time, and since covid we have maybe 200 or so people? maybe a tad more.
Anyways someone in one of the many departments tested positive, and pretty much what my work did was tell us to wear a mask, and if they wanted to have a meeting in the morning(today) via zoom.
It's messed up how the second they hear that there is a covid case, they(as in upper management) decided to not go into work, and instead just zoom the other expendable/essential employees.
I mean I am grateful that I have a job, but still. I mean if I get sick I am fucked.

Just hope something positive comes from all of this.
 
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get fucked you fucking piece of shit all you do is smoke meth and jerk off you jerk off
 
After reading thread title I realize I have never in my life flown a kite......and am totally ok with that:cool:
 
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