Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

[Squeaky]

I started an exercise program yesterday!

I actually have excess energy to exercise guys!

I need to get my body back in shape.

The gabapentin added to the MS Contin and clonazepam (night) has really shaped up my sleep, mood, energy level, comcentration and coordination levels also.
I am feeling like my old self at times!
I am doing WAY more during the day and not falling asleep as soon as the sun sets.

I am just praying that my pain doctor will be okay with prescribing me the gabapentin along with my other medication or I am going to have to taper off the gabapentin.
I think he will be okay with it.
i did tell him about the specialist I had seen and that he had put me on gabapentin and I had the Botox injections.
he said he wanted me to keep the dose low on gabapentin but was alright with it.
He wrote me my other prescriptions last time.
I do not ever want to go back to that specialist. He did help with the insight into my sleep problem and with the gabapentin.
He fucked me up with Botox and vitamin D.
plus he is insisting on I have to stop clonazepam and MS Contin or no more gabapentin.
That just is not going to happen. I need those to manage the pain and severe migraine headaches.

Funny how one Dr says ‘No Way’ to your combination of prescriptions and another says ‘No Problem’. Both claim to be specalists, and neither seems to be concerned with what the patient thinks. Now you’re stuck with being the only person in this equation who specializes in ‘You’ and you have to figure out what to say so you can get the stuff that works.
I have been there. It sucks. You have to say just the right thing so the Dr feels bad for you, but sometimes you also have to tickle his ego a little so he feels like a god. I usually already know what I need when I go to any Dr, but I have to play that game and make him feel like it was his brilliant diagnosis, otherwise he won’t write the script I want.

 

[Squeaky]

I started an exercise program yesterday!

Stick with it! Exercise helps with a lot more than just weight loss.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

I would say that some kind of regular exercise routine is almost essential if you're trying to stay clean.

Gotta get dem endorphins.

 

[Painful One]

Funny how one Dr says ‘No Way’ to your combination of prescriptions and another says ‘No Problem’. Both claim to be specalists, and neither seems to be concerned with what the patient thinks. Now you’re stuck with being the only person in this equation who specializes in ‘You’ and you have to figure out what to say so you can get the stuff that works.
I have been there. It sucks. You have to say just the right thing so the Dr feels bad for you, but sometimes you also have to tickle his ego a little so he feels like a god. I usually already know what I need when I go to any Dr, but I have to play that game and make him feel like it was his brilliant diagnosis, otherwise he won’t write the script I want.

Exactly!

I do not want to have to go back to being crippled !
I must somehow convince my pain doctor.
I am taking my mom with me so she can tell him how much better I have been.

Pray for me guys!

 

[Squeaky]

I’m gonna run out way early again..... It totally sucks

 

[Squeaky]

Exactly!

I do not want to have to go back to being crippled !
I must somehow convince my pain doctor.
I am taking my mom with me so she can tell him how much better I have been.

Pray for me guys!

Don’t mention Kratom. Too much misinformation out there and your Dr might decide you’re a junkie. The FDA is trying to scare everyone into thinking it is the same as heroin.

 

[Painful One]

Don’t mention Kratom. Too much misinformation out there and your Dr might decide you’re a junkie. The FDA is trying to scare everyone into thinking it is the same as heroin.

No I certainly will NOT mention that to him.

That is ridiculous the FDA is trying to do that.
It is because the huge drug companies have a monopoly.
They do not like competition.
especially not something that is helping people.

 

[Painful One]

I’m gonna run out way early again..... It totally sucks

Shit!
I am sorry to hear that.

You made it longer than you have been.
Keep trying.

 

[Squeaky]

Shit!
I am sorry to hear that.

You made it longer than you have been.
Keep trying.

Actually I’m on my way to running out faster than ever. 4 days ago I was feeling pretty awesome. Today I’m feeling pretty stupid.

 

[Painful One]

Actually I’m on my way to running out faster than ever. 4 days ago I was feeling pretty awesome. Today I’m feeling pretty stupid.

I am sorry my friend.

Does the Kratom cover the withdrawal?
Does it help with your pain?

 

[Squeaky]

I am sorry my friend.

Does the Kratom cover the withdrawal?
Does it help with your pain?

It helps with the withdrawals a lot. It helps with pain a lot. But it doesn’t do anywhere as much as my oxy does.
AND it’s not something I can just take more of if I need more. It is great to hold off addiction because an overdose means you’ll puke and go to sleep before it all digests. BUT it means if I need a lot to kill my withdrawals then I’m screwed because I’ll just puke the extra Kratom out and wake up 3 hours later in full oxy withdrawal.
My only hope lately is that since I’m only taking oxy for a week before I run out, my wds only really hurt for a day or two. After that is just depression and some painful constipation for about a week.
Wds from short term high level use of opiates really screw with my head. Sweating, nausea, stomach cramps, insomnia, feelings of dread..... all come for about a week after long term use of moderate levels of opiates. But at the amount I’m doing for a week or so, these symptoms are like they’re being shot at me like they’re coming from a roman candle . Inside of 30 minutes I go from feeling fine to sweating through my clothes to feeling like the world is going to end to being suicidal to almost throwing up. And an hour later I’m OK. Its like I’m possessed and I get an exorcism and then I’m possessed again two hours later.
I have been through real oxy wds a few times. When these intense short wd symptoms hit I get really terrified that they will feel that bad (extra bad from high level use) for as long as they lasted from lower level prolonged use.
The terrible fear that it will never end is murder. If anything will make me quit for good, my guess is it’s that feeling every month. I swear it’s just not worth the relief I get for a few days. I think I would rather suffer a little now with no relief in sight than know that was my destiny for a few days every month.

 

[Painful One]

It helps with the withdrawals a lot. It helps with pain a lot. But it doesn’t do anywhere as much as my oxy does.
AND it’s not something I can just take more of if I need more. It is great to hold off addiction because an overdose means you’ll puke and go to sleep before it all digests. BUT it means if I need a lot to kill my withdrawals then I’m screwed because I’ll just puke the extra Kratom out and wake up 3 hours later in full oxy withdrawal.
My only hope lately is that since I’m only taking oxy for a week before I run out, my wds only really hurt for a day or two. After that is just depression and some painful constipation for about a week.
Wds from short term high level use of opiates really screw with my head. Sweating, nausea, stomach cramps, insomnia, feelings of dread..... all come for about a week after long term use of moderate levels of opiates. But at the amount I’m doing for a week or so, these symptoms are like they’re being shot at me like they’re coming from a roman candle . Inside of 30 minutes I go from feeling fine to sweating through my clothes to feeling like the world is going to end to being suicidal to almost throwing up. And an hour later I’m OK. Its like I’m possessed and I get an exorcism and then I’m possessed again two hours later.
I have been through real oxy wds a few times. When these intense short wd symptoms hit I get really terrified that they will feel that bad (extra bad from high level use) for as long as they lasted from lower level prolonged use.
The terrible fear that it will never end is murder. If anything will make me quit for good, my guess is it’s that feeling every month. I swear it’s just not worth the relief I get for a few days. I think I would rather suffer a little now with no relief in sight than know that was my destiny for a few days every month.

yeah. That is what I thought.

That is horrible @Squeaky
Horrific!
I do not know how you are doing that at all!
2-3 days of that shit feels like a year of intense suffering.

The Kratom is barely holding off mild withdrawal for me from going to 60 mg a day MS Contin from using 90 mg MS Contin for two weeks at the first of this month. I had the flu and bad side effects from the Botox injections I had on top of my chronic pain and took 3 pills a day for 2 weeks. I usually stick to 2 1/2 pills a day.
So I had to cut it down to 60 mg.

@Squeaky does your Oxy last for 12 hours?
I wonder if you would do better with a switch to MS Contin. It lasts for 12 hours and controls the pain.
If you take too much of the MS Contin, it will make you get a bad headache and throw up also.
It kind of has a built in anti abuse system like Kratom.

I think I would rather just get through the entire withdrawal rather than have to go through what you are every month.

Even a change to suboxone would be better than what you are having to go through my friend.

I feel SO bad that you are enduring this all the time.

Let’s find a solution for this!
Wouldn‘t it be nice if this month was the LAST TIME you have to endure this?!
The Oxy cannot be worth it even if you were on cloud 9 for a week!

 

[Squeaky]

yeah. That is what I thought.

That is horrible @Squeaky
Horrific!
I do not know how you are doing that at all!
2-3 days of that shit feels like a year of intense suffering.

The Kratom is barely holding off mild withdrawal for me from going to 60 mg a day MS Contin from using 90 mg MS Contin for two weeks at the first of this month. I had the flu and bad side effects from the Botox injections I had on top of my chronic pain and took 3 pills a day for 2 weeks. I usually stick to 2 1/2 pills a day.
So I had to cut it down to 60 mg.

@Squeaky does your Oxy last for 12 hours?
I wonder if you would do better with a switch to MS Contin. It lasts for 12 hours and controls the pain.
If you take too much of the MS Contin, it will make you get a bad headache and throw up also.
It kind of has a built in anti abuse system like Kratom.

I think I would rather just get through the entire withdrawal rather than have to go through what you are every month.

Even a change to suboxone would be better than what you are having to go through my friend.

I feel SO bad that you are enduring this all the time.

Let’s find a solution for this!
Wouldn‘t it be nice if this month was the LAST TIME you have to endure this?!
The Oxy cannot be worth it even if you were on cloud 9 for a week!

Yeah. That’s what I was saying a week ago before I got my last prescription, and a month before that, and a month before that...... But then I have it in my hands and I am so desperate for relief, and it takes so much to do anything, and it doesn’t last more than about 2 hours, and then I run out.
My best bet would be to have someone manage my pills for me, but I don’t want to ask for help. I guess I’m too proud,
The situation is getting better. One day soon I think I’ll go back through this blog and read my last two years of postings. I know it has been a nonstop roller coaster and I need to stop it. This month I was a few inches away from flushing my pills down the toilet. But I didn’t.
Most addicts do what they do to get high. My addiction is to feeling normal, productive, functional, pain-free, I remember very clearly when I got hooked. I got my first 30mg extended release oxycodone. Supposed to last 8 hours. This was back when I first transitioned from Percocet 10/325 to oxycodone 30mG. I took one 30 mg extended release oxy before bed and I slept great! I woke up refreshed, happy, and pain-free. It was totally awesome. Now it takes three times that amount and it lasts inly 2-3 hours.
Doh! Imagine taking 5 x oxy thirty(that’s 150 mg oxycodone) just to get pain relief.

 

[Painful One]

I am so sorry that you are going through this!
I know that feeling of being so desperate for relief.
OMG my friend, I cannot imagine how bad three weeks must be!

ASK FOR HELP!
You cannot keep going on this way.

The MS Contin works really good!
It is the gold standard for pain.
The Oxy is just not long lasting enough and seems to have a compulsion to take more and more.

You could ask your doctor if you could try a switch to MS Contin.
Just tell him that the Oxy is not lasting as long as it should and you would like to try the MS Contin.
Tell him you are in a support group for chronic pain patients and some of your friends there get a lot more hours of relief with MS Contin and you would like to try it.
That leaves you open to switch back if you want.

You have gotten your tolerance out of whack.
But if you just stick to the prescribed dose no matter what for two weeks, you will find that you will once again be comfortable on it.
You will be a whole lot more comfortable than you are now while you stick to the prescribed dose.

You need a plan. I do not want you to keep going through this. It is going to make you suicidal!

 

[Squeaky]

Thanks. I do need a better plan. This time I’m really going to focus on getting off everything including Kratom. I think Kratom is the reason my tolerance is so damn high.
The big problem is that my job is very physical. Lots of heavy lifting. And lots of time on my feet. I have no chance to change jobs and I cannot afford to quit or go on disability. I just have to deal with the pain and Kratom helps, so I keep using it to get by and it screws my tolerance for oxy. It’s a horrible cycle. I’m going to try very hard this month to break the cycle.
I don’t want to be honest with my dr or ask for a change. I’m too worried that each change will be an excuse to lower my dosage and then I’ll never get back to the dose I’m on now. Too much bad press for pills lately. I’m just going to have to figure it out on my own.
And yeah, it does make me really depressed. Even suicidal. But I get through it. I have gotten through that so many times over the years that it doesn’t bother me so much any more. I’ll be OK. But thank you for the kind words PO

 

[Painful One]

Well, just know I am here for you.

I am not trying to lecture you and believe me, I do understand.

I just feel so bad that you are going through this.
It is a terrible cycle to be stuck in.

You must be determined to break that cycle.
You can break that cycle!
You will feel a whole lot better once you do!
Get yourself back to comfortable my friend.

 

[EPL1]

Hi Squeaky,

Yes, do the best you can to cut down or cut out Kratom if it's messing with your tolerance. Just like PO I think if you could get to your rx'd dose with nothing messing with your tolerance, things would be much better for you and you'd be a lot happier.

I go through so much of the same song and dance as you in regards to my dr. Sometimes, well especially in this day and age, with the stigma attached to our pills it is better to figure it out on our own. But if you ever need an ear, a friend who really gets it you know where I am.

Hang in there my friend, you're going to be just fine. You have a great attitude.

Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.

Thanks. I do need a better plan. This time I’m really going to focus on getting off everything including Kratom. I think Kratom is the reason my tolerance is so damn high.
The big problem is that my job is very physical. Lots of heavy lifting. And lots of time on my feet. I have no chance to change jobs and I cannot afford to quit or go on disability. I just have to deal with the pain and Kratom helps, so I keep using it to get by and it screws my tolerance for oxy. It’s a horrible cycle. I’m going to try very hard this month to break the cycle.
I don’t want to be honest with my dr or ask for a change. I’m too worried that each change will be an excuse to lower my dosage and then I’ll never get back to the dose I’m on now. Too much bad press for pills lately. I’m just going to have to figure it out on my own.
And yeah, it does make me really depressed. Even suicidal. But I get through it. I have gotten through that so many times over the years that it doesn’t bother me so much any more. I’ll be OK. But thank you for the kind words PO

 

[Squeaky]

Hi Squeaky,

Yes, do the best you can to cut down or cut out Kratom if it's messing with your tolerance. Just like PO I think if you could get to your rx'd dose with nothing messing with your tolerance, things would be much better for you and you'd be a lot happier.

I go through so much of the same song and dance as you in regards to my dr. Sometimes, well especially in this day and age, with the stigma attached to our pills it is better to figure it out on our own. But if you ever need an ear, a friend who really gets it you know where I am.

Hang in there my friend, you're going to be just fine. You have a great attitude.

Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.

Thanks Ash

 

[EPL1]

Thanks Ash

Anytime my friend.

 

[Squeaky]

I have been through worse. Surgeries, Oxy withdrawls with NOTHING but Tylenol. Autism (that one susks the worst....). And now this.
My hope is to make it through with some real experience and advice I can pass on to someone else.