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Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

hylite

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 23, 2021
Messages
1,845
omg. did i just write that much. i must be sick. thanks.

anyway i just took real close to 5mg. hydrocodone only. it sure helped with the depression TOO.

I will never EVER take more than that at one time. Thank goodness for math.

No more high dosages ever !!! Again.
I WILL not ever go through that kind of painful and psychotic mind pain AGAIN.

And I think xanax usage and discontinuation gave me some brain damage. Yes MORE ! ☹💔

Anyway helping each other sometimes can be positive growth collectively one can Hope. Thank you for helping and all. Every little bit of it leads to much brighter and bigger intelligent and safer existence. Just the little things meant so much to ME. ♡ 👍🏼
 

hylite

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 23, 2021
Messages
1,845
Oh well. No more funny stuff for me RN. I am going to go take the dogs out for a walk before the 5mg's wear off in TWELVE hours.

Can't drive right now either anyway with a broken radiator hose. Lololol. More of that. . . . all of that fun stuff !

Thank you everyone for helping me realise that dosage control really CAN be lowered. FOR NOW. and for always hopefully as well. Still am looking for that alternative pain relief I guess because nothing can last forever I suppose.

Sorry for the negatives however I will have to work on that also. I feel so sad like I can't care anymore but I will try however much I can to actually try some more.
 

hylite

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 23, 2021
Messages
1,845
Oh well. No more funny stuff for me RN. I am going to go take the dogs out for a walk before the 5mg's wear off in TWELVE hours.

Can't drive right now either anyway with a broken radiator hose. Lololol. More of that. . . . all of that fun stuff !

Thank you everyone for helping me realise that dosage control really CAN be lowered. FOR NOW. and for always hopefully as well. Still am looking for that alternative pain relief I guess because nothing can last forever I suppose.

Sorry for the negatives however I will have to work on that also. I feel so sad like I can't care anymore but I will try however much I can to actually try some more.
i HATEEEEEEEEEEE spellcheck TWO is NOT Twelve.
 

AutoTripper

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 28, 2019
Messages
4,924
i HATEEEEEEEEEEE spellcheck TWO is NOT Twelve.
Me too man. Does my nuts in. I disable it all, but keyboard is optimised, or I bet- de-optimisd, to not work without it.

Catches me out all time. Especially when messy but also have an optic nerve injury from 2016, it makes typing, focus 10 x concentration level so I do it like walking round house at night kind of.
 

papercuts

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 10, 2021
Messages
188
I am just looking for others to move forward with empowerment together, to build a stairway of strength. Baby steps Giant results right !

I will go back and read everything. I am just frustrated and slow right now. I probably journeyed with inflaming arthritis without even noticing it right away. I was always weak and brittle younger also but I didn't really understand it until I started noticing the strength and bigger bones in others. Maybe call it fragile.

I would even go as far as wearing long sleeves and dressing like a boy and wearing high top boots to look and act tougher. But I still was a sissy. And even some of the olders used to tease around with me because I wore long sleeves so much all da time and ask me if I had track marks and would laugh like it was funny ? I swear I didn't even know what it MEANT. lool.

Like I would only even wear concert Jerseys and never ever a tee shirt. Just brittle little sissy girrrrr. Till I got my first 16 gauge single barrel. Too funny.

That's why I always tried to work out and be buff so that I could try to keep up with others and not fall behind so to speak. lool.

But I always did have aches and pains.
The bone and joint specialist did put a cast on it. But didn't help. Just swelled up more.

A medical doctor did tell my mom she would be in a wheelchair because of her orthopedics and she is still out gardening the back aecers, painting walls and doors and posting and repairing the fence. But she way bigger than me and fraking stronger. lol.

Like I couldn't even lift up an oxygen tank for scuba dive. And everyone else would sling them like a child's toy.

Whaat. I have seen little mini women pushing more weight than men !! But then of course they die brutally suffering from colon cancer or something like that. Well it's always something I guess until you find your way somehow.

Wow it felt great to complain. I wasn't really going to go there but I did it. Why can't I just find a way to change the world with what is left with my life. Why indeed !!
It's a natural reaction to having a physical weakness, that pretending to be physically stronger. I expect a lot of us can relate ❤️
When you have a combo of perfectionism in an imperfect body, we try to fix it and end up here, lol.
 

hylite

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 23, 2021
Messages
1,845
No I just it was a bad two days. Im crying. (thnx) Im frustrating right now.

I didnt even go for a walk today. A walk with the dogs. I didn't but WANTED , wanted to. My eyes filled with tears right now. REALLY.

Because you listened to my dumb stuff and I will never ever NOT be grateful. I wont. ♡
 

papercuts

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 10, 2021
Messages
188
Oh it's not complaing man. And even if it is, it's acceptable, just wants to be constructive essentially not emptily ventfull

Letting out. Expressing. Just being real, all sides.

It's therapy, for me anyway. I share my good, and my bad. None of our lives are easy and some are especially tough, understatement!

I have always been an ambassador for being completely open for my own sake basically because it really helps me to just dot my thoughts and feelings out.

A problem shared is a problem halved is a long-standing adage.

So I've always been encouraging of people I'm trying to lead by example in showing absolutely no shame and being entirely real about things.

I can tell you one thing I honestly believe you would not find a genuinely more open transparent and often overly divulge in participant in any of these online platforms not that I have seen anyway and I don't mean that boastfully just to make the point.

I'm a sensitive individual far more than people would consider because I'm so apparently brashly extrovert, And seemingly very self-confident.

But being sensitive is a strength it's like an extra lens.

I'm just just settling my mind at last tiday, with some kava.

Again, my own PROBLEMS are really very physical based. Digestive hell too often, it's impossible to nourish wirhout more pain than it's worth to survive, and is just catch 22 impracticale, symptomstic lifestyle, restrictions and an extrenely delicate system.

Being comfortable enough inside to simply rest, is always heaven.

The digestive, elimination smooth running is as directly impactful on mental frame, wellbeing, as anything on the whole.

Stress is top dog, because stress disables digestion. So in states of elevated, chronic stress, Eating food basically becomes a very toxic and in my experience painful and torturous experience.

Which could be completely different with a different situation and mindframe because digestion is both chemical which is the mind being relaxed enough and at peace for the secretion of digestive juices and enzymes and also mechanical peristalsis of the digestive tract and they also autonomous nervous system.

But when it comes to digestion the mind is everything and when it comes to the Mind digestion is everything too.
If you ever discover a way to digest food without agonising pain, please share. That is my biggest downfall even though I know how stupid using opiates to help digestion is! They help the pain and the pain was definitely worse before I went back to self medicating, for years, not delusion that part. If I have just eaten and I'm relaxed and comfortable, resting as the food settles, then something startles me or a person is angry near me then its straight back to agony.
 

papercuts

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 10, 2021
Messages
188
No I just it was a bad two days. Im crying. (thnx) Im frustrating right now.

I didnt even go for a walk today. A walk with the dogs. I didn't but WANTED , wanted to. My eyes filled with tears right now. REALLY.

Because you listened to my dumb stuff and I will never ever NOT be grateful. I wont. ♡
I was told as a kid that there are stress chemicals in tears and its best to get them out if you can because you'll feel better after. It might have been bullshit, but it was really good bullshit for a change!
If it's any consolation I spent all yesterday morning with tears falling down my face, but that is because I've decided to reduce my dosage of buprenorphine. I kept a seven day patch on for two week's, then put on a lower dose seven day. I've had a little wd but not much because I'm supplementing again...
We do our best, I have to keep trying to feel well. I feel totally well sometimes and that's better than no times.
 

papercuts

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 10, 2021
Messages
188
I was told as a kid that there are stress chemicals in tears and its best to get them out if you can because you'll feel better after. It might have been bullshit, but it was really good bullshit for a change!
If it's any consolation I spent all yesterday morning with tears falling down my face, but that is because I've decided to reduce my dosage of buprenorphine. I kept a seven day patch on for two week's, then put on a lower dose seven day. I've had a little wd but not much because I'm supplementing again...
We do our best, I have to keep trying to feel well. I feel totally well sometimes and that's better than no times.
I just realised I was actually taught as a child to think of adjusting my brain chemicals until I was happy, lol, still doing that!
 

hylite

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 23, 2021
Messages
1,845
So. I had to take extra because of the pulled shoulder. Strained my muscle right, or something bad happened and could barely move. Then it went away. It was great. Then I picked up a rock (garden) and it wasn't healed yet apparently and hurt again but not as severe pain this time. I mean I know it was dumb but really. What should I go live in a strait jacket now.

So when I had the really really really painful pain. Oh nevermind but I most likely took too much and am having slight withdrawals but I am alright with slight. You know slight stomach upset too and crap.

So was depressed. Couldnt go outside. Let the dogs down. They really wanted to walk and trip and smell the smells and stink in the air. Couldnt get ANYTHING accomplished. I did make a real quick dark chocolate cake so that I won't have to cook for three days. That was ALL that I did ALL DAY that's it. Oh yes . . . and then I got high (weed/and dabs). That's it.

So the shoulder pain is almost gone Again. So my left hand hurts so bad I can't think straight. So when I was really young and went to school a psychopath stabbed me with a lead pencil like bloody wounded. Purposely to kill or maim.
So lead in my hand. Everyone's like you will be fine. It's fine. Will be alright.

So now my hand hurts so bad my littleEST finger hurts so Bad. So I think maybe the led unlodged and is going to travel to the heart and i'm dead. This is how crazy it is when it doesn't even make sense. I don't know some say it's not even led but just the coloring. what!

Maybe its diabetes onset. That is supposed to be painful. I have low bp always and less than 100 blood sugar before food.

Soooo THEN I see Phil Collins. YEP there it is. There's going to be me. I know how he FEELS now. 😭😭😭😭😭

I want to dieeeeeeeeeee. I have to find a hobby. But I can't do anything. Except WANT to diiiiieeeeeeeeeeee. NOW.

Sorry. Honest. ♡ I just hurt really bad all week.
 
Last edited:

hylite

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 23, 2021
Messages
1,845
So now I am good right now. I only did 4mg. today and twelve hours later 3mg. hydrocodone even. The lesser of everything. It helped too for the goodness of sake. And I don't have to worry about any severe withdrawals. All I have to worry about now is ending up dead in a wheelchair dead while I am still alive. The last pain mngmnt. doctor quit prescribing because the Feds are threatening him and he don't want to be the fall guy no more. He even sent me for bloodwork and never got results back. I couldn't even make stuff up like this. If I wasn't a germ a phobe I would be shooting heroine EVERRRRY DAY.
 

hylite

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 23, 2021
Messages
1,845
I wouldn't even be able to get food down that well if it wasn't for the medical weed.
 

hylite

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 23, 2021
Messages
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Oh yes and only one monster drink today. Those things were going to kill me too.
I guess I AM an f'n Poly. Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck !
 

AutoTripper

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 28, 2019
Messages
4,924
If you ever discover a way to digest food without agonising pain, please share. That is my biggest downfall even though I know how stupid using opiates to help digestion is! They help the pain and the pain was definitely worse before I went back to self medicating, for years, not delusion that part. If I have just eaten and I'm relaxed and comfortable, resting as the food settles, then something startles me or a person is angry near me then its straight back to agony.
I will get back to you n that. Digestion is a sophisticated business. It makes the Haldron Collider as sophisticated and advanced as a lego brick.

I just deleted that post you quoted. Amnesia lol. And using drugs and any old escapism to escape pain, a restful conscious the only target, results in me cringing each new day- oh shit did I really post all of that what a twat I am, I must stop getting so wasted every day (I tell myself in embarrassment).

I'm literal allergic to, I always say 99% of "things", because get me a list of all things typically ingested- foods, condiments, drinks, medicines, drugs, herbs, toothpaste etc etc and it would be minimum 95% intolerable.

Correct that, resolve my immune system's nutty fixation (that is the word too) with this needless gone-wrong response, I would have no difficulty soothing and fortifying the digestive process.

My hands are so tightly tied there though.

The chemical side of digestion sounds to be very core woth your own digestive problems.

Emotions, anxiety, stress, anger, anything but round the clock peace and calm, and you cannot expect adequate, near optimal digestion.

You can have full potential for complete digestion, mechanically, in all ways. Inject a level of stress, irritation or disturbing emotion into your mind, consciousness and therefore brain, body and gut, and digestive goes out the window.

THIS is why I started using benzos nearly two years ago. I have had an anxiety related eating, rather digestive disorder for years. It's untypical and complex (lol, digestive disorders are like their owners), and stems ultimately from the fact no matter how I am mentally, putting food into my body is treading a minefield of temptation, resistive genuine bodily need and craving for fuel and pleasure, chooding the safest explosives to get through more time in life, at the expense of a great and always highly vaiable, fully unpredictable level or respiratory allergy pain and suffication, which I manage 24/7 in ways that would see me crowned Olympian Gold if (only lol) proactively evacuating excessive mucus from the lungs, sinuses and throat was an Olympic sport.

It's impossible for me to have any close to normal, comfortable, enjoyable and convenient relationship with food, physically.

So I managed this ctch 22 so creatively, ingeniously and resourcefully for many years, emolying the most imaginative and powerful coping mechanism, never giving up, climbing Everest every day just to...and then again.

It's all too complex for words now, but the extreme anxiety and panic condition comes solely and directly from the physical horror or eating, breathing and scrapping to repeat again.

Like, I SERIOUSLY need to WANT to live.

When I want to die, as it's my focus in life, seeing no comfortable shore to swim towards, and this isn't being morbid to me, just plain real.

If it was a painless, karmaless bus, I'd say regretful but simply for the best bye byes and board the bus next week, or 5 years ago tbh.

When ironically, I'm glad to have developed mentally and philosophically as I feel I have even 2 months ago, looking back always, I am glad I a, not that same stupid man lol.

2019, the anxiety was disabling my digestive capability so much, I was only 50 kg's, anything below 67 is underweight for me.

And dropping it was. If I had hit 49 kg's no way would I have sufficed.

I needed emergency intervention for anxiety management, simply in order to digest enough food to stop the "rot" and first hold, then regain weight.

I started the Etizolam, and kava lare 2019. I also began consuming LSD in huge quantities again then, and haven't stopped since but is another story lol.

It worked! By January 2020, I was piicking up so fast,in every way. Gaining weight, energy, body and immunity working very well, life was picking up.

I began also t develop as a person with the proactive use of LSD as a tool, a an exponential rate.

CoShit put the breaks on "my" plan, led to here, ever increasing benzo dependance last year to insane levels.

The insane amount of LSD this year both has helped, with mental and spiritual development, but not with anxiety espec very recently, in a very acute way.

"Short story long" lol, I did gain lots of weight. I was over 63 kg's this year. Prob 62 now after recent weeks. I naturally lose, and when in goid condition, gain weight very rapidly, both ways.

Things have turned downward sharply the past 6 months,ma very heavy slide too, so many factors, and really not my own fault, or other's (well, I do blame people or beings but that's ANOTHER story or 3 lol), nor my own weakness.

I astonish myself seeing the strehgth in me and what I continue to defy, somehow.

It's like a James Bond movie. An actual perfect analogy for the ceaseless life edging nerve wracking intensity of daily life and fighting through.

Just very invisible to most except my mum, is the only person in the world who fully, but not even possible, understands exactly what led to here and hiw it goes, from a tick bite containing biologically engineered bacteria, ultimately.

To the common person, respectfully, "allergies", "mucus", "fatigue" etc etc are indeed experienced at all levels, but in the exact ways I am presenting it personally, they are just like words in a dictionary.

Curently, with my nervs in such a state of shock and agitation, I cannot digest food at all. I'm as close as ever to feeling forced to stop eating now. I didn't eat yesterday, had horrendous level of stomach and intestinal pain from so much gas, from fully (chemically (the mind), AND mechanically (the organs, bodily systems), to ride out.

Still very upset intestines today, but much freer inside. I may need to forgo food another 24 hours, just to clear the system after the recent stress level and body function breakdown. I'll see. Anxiety is beyond high still you see, there is no place for food it's just weakness makes it mentally tough.

April 2012, very well then actually though ambition and commitment, despite being 7 years into undiagnosed then Lyme Disease, I fasted at will, at home, for 160 hours.

Over a week. It was ill advised, unsupervised, hard as hell, and exacerbated the auto immune aspect of my Lyme, NS further dysregulated.

But I survived, in time, recovered, though the impacts of that particular fast stretched for years, even now surely.

@papercuts exuse me, I've gone WAY off track here. I'm really trying to stay on it. Lol. Can't think straight though.

So, the mental, emotional chemical side of digestion. You really CAN firstly, as well as simply need to direct your focus there.

It's paramount. And even if, as in my own case, emotions aside, "Eat-Like-Alexa" lol, I love that! In me, the mechanical, organ & system function isn't there, but the emotions on top is actually equally, because they are even forces, a hindrance to succesful digestion.

I can share with you some idead for how I would use supplements, foods, etc if no allergies, like Colosan colon clleansing powder, as example- IN my cupboard downstairs (my mum can use it), but it caises intolerable respiratory mucus like 99% of "things" for me.

Otherwise, that is just one thing I could employ to vanquish pain, gas, constipation, rejuvenate and renew.

Magnesium oxides. Good stuff I swear.

I have learnt of many such things in time, but disregarded as it's all just a tease.

I will subconsciously assemble something on that and aim to share some suggestions with you.

Also mental, emotional work. Is what you really need. Neuro Emotional Technique or N.E.T.

Or... "Heartspeak", same thing. With a competent practionioner, face to face, or fia zoom, skype...it woulld seriously help you incover and remove the root origins of the emotional blocks in your mind, directly preventing digestion, perpetuating the cycle.

But physical function also needs to be restored.

I see my special chiropractor next week. My digestiive system is shut down mechanically atm. I could go for accupunctire this week. It would help. Nut it's an outing I've no energy for and too depressed to to about.

Plus it would cost me 50 Britis quid lol.

But acupuncture is excellent. Go once, or twice a week, have accupressure massage as well, it's lifesaving, life changes and boosting.

That's one way you could seek relief I swear.

Or, how my chiropractor next week will use Total Body Modification to reset all my organs, systems, literally identify very specific relations between emotions and the body, it's miraculous and I was on death's doorsetp this spring, nut these treatments got me firmly into the green zone when at that time, otherwise, in May possibly, I would not have lived more than 2 weeks due to my bodily systems not functioning at all.

The T.B.M fixed that.

Keep this in mind. If I went 365 days no treatment, it's like a groken down car, on the highway, never getting a jump start.

You get me? These particular alternative treatments are and have long been that vital jump start for me.

I will come back to you on some other supplement and remedy suggestions.
 

AutoTripper

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 28, 2019
Messages
4,924
I wouldn't even be able to get food down that well if it wasn't for the medical weed.
I'm allergic to weed too lol. I love weed. It does drive up my anxiety now but that's kind of acute, irt the amount of Acid still integration and therefore consciously active, to a conscious mind thst is (read- not just 'awake" in some way lol, or rather- Zombie).

But I'm vaping some really strong, 5 week cured now sungrown Sativa now.

I am so allergic to all fertilisers in weed, I can't use anything we don't grow ourselves.

No weed I could find I know of otherwise.

That's the extremity of it.
And I'm still respiratorily allergic to the weed itself, but it's manageable, like a strict diet, add the fertiliser allergies and it's just a world of pain basically.

Kava causes mucus too, anything does, but I use lots of kava, as otherwise my allergies wouldn't endure the extra amount of cannabis I would want.

The vapor allergy, is in close line allways with the exact level of multiple respite infections present too.

I treat my respiratory infections daily with the all powerful Electromedicine as it fives me a 95% better quality life, breathing wise.
 

papercuts

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 10, 2021
Messages
188
So. I had to take extra because of the pulled shoulder. Strained my muscle right, or something bad happened and could barely move. Then it went away. It was great. Then I picked up a rock (garden) and it wasn't healed yet apparently and hurt again but not as severe pain this time. I mean I know it was dumb but really. What should I go live in a strait jacket now.

So when I had the really really really painful pain. Oh nevermind but I most likely took too much and am having slight withdrawals but I am alright with slight. You know slight stomach upset too and crap.

So was depressed. Couldnt go outside. Let the dogs down. They really wanted to walk and trip and smell the smells and stink in the air. Couldnt get ANYTHING accomplished. I did make a real quick dark chocolate cake so that I won't have to cook for three days. That was ALL that I did ALL DAY that's it. Oh yes . . . and then I got high (weed/and dabs). That's it.

So the shoulder pain is almost gone Again. So my left hand hurts so bad I can't think straight. So when I was really young and went to school a psychopath stabbed me with a lead pencil like bloody wounded. Purposely to kill or maim.
So lead in my hand. Everyone's like you will be fine. It's fine. Will be alright.

So now my hand hurts so bad my littleEST finger hurts so Bad. So I think maybe the led unlodged and is going to travel to the heart and i'm dead. This is how crazy it is when it doesn't even make sense. I don't know some say it's not even led but just the coloring. what!

Maybe its diabetes onset. That is supposed to be painful. I have low bp always and less than 100 blood sugar before food.

Soooo THEN I see Phil Collins. YEP there it is. There's going to be me. I know how he FEELS now. 😭😭😭😭😭

I want to dieeeeeeeeeee. I have to find a hobby. But I can't do anything. Except WANT to diiiiieeeeeeeeeeee. NOW.

Sorry. Honest. ♡ I just hurt really bad all week.
Hobbies are great, definitely find one if you can. I read some parts of your message out to my husband because it's so uncanny how I could have written bits of that about myself, it sounds so similar.
For a hobby how about art if you're right handed? My shoulders are weak as well, my physiotherapist says to keep my elbows tucked into my ribs when I lift things, anything, then the neck muscles aren't activated by mistake, this happens when the shoulder muscles are weak and the joints are loose. I don't know if this is your situation, but it's good advice for me. I don't iron anything and I don't lift one sided, both those cause days or weeks of pain.
Your dogs will still love you no matter what, I hope you're feeling better now.
I've had nothing at all today except some gabapentin, coffee and a bowl of porridge (my digestion can just about manage plain oats) and I actually feel OK except I want something for nausea now.
My god, if I could get away with only cooking once in three days, that would be bliss in itself!
I'd choose poppy seed cake though, lol. Last time I had three days alone, I ate two packs of shortbread which I'd worked out had the right calories for three days and didn't give eating or cooking another thought, bliss.
I tried the liquid diet meal replacement drinks but that caused hours of digestive agony after just one.
 

Squeaky

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
1,376
Location
USA
So.........
I didn’t fall off the wagon. It was more of a swan dive followed by a belly flop into an empty swimming pool.
I told my Dr that I want to taper off the pills. (I don’t want to just stop answering the phone because I’ll probably need more surgeries in the future and I want to leave on good terms).

Long story short, the Dr switched me to Percocet. I can’t use the amount I was using before because of the Acetaminophen would destroy my liver. But after 4 months of abstinence I should expect to need a much smaller amount than before, right? Nope!

I’m still using Kratom several times per day. That stuff has kept my tolerance really high. Last night I took 90mg oxy (9perc 10’s) and basically got nothing from it. It just relieved my aches from the Kratom withdrawals.

Want a cure for opioid dependence? Kratom helps withdrawals and made me immune to opiates. Early this morning I took some more percs (6). It’s peaceful here and I want to see exactly what the effects will be without any distractions. But basically I now have little use for my tiny blue death pills.

Truthfully I’m sad. I’m going to need at least one more major back surgery in the future. The small bit of happiness we all experience with the pain killers is gone, presumably for ever. That little voice in the back of my mind for the last 4 months, the one that told me to be strong and not cheat; he just picked up his toys and went home. I guess this is the part where I begin the rest of my life, without being a ‘patient’ anymore.
 

Squeaky

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
1,376
Location
USA
If you ever discover a way to digest food without agonising pain, please share. That is my biggest downfall even though I know how stupid using opiates to help digestion is! They help the pain and the pain was definitely worse before I went back to self medicating, for years, not delusion that part. If I have just eaten and I'm relaxed and comfortable, resting as the food settles, then something startles me or a person is angry near me then its straight back to agony.
Have you tried weed? I’m not dealing with the digestive issues you describe, but I just started using it a few months ago and I have never eaten this much in my entire life! Even stuff I normally avoid because of bloating or gas cramping..... it all goes down easy and I can just keep eating forever.
 

Iceman1216

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 27, 2019
Messages
872
Location
North East - Long Island
@Squeaky , Wow ?? Clean from opiates for 4 months, and no tolerance reduction?? That does not sound good to me :unsure:.
Thank you for all the information you share. I am still at the same place I have been for a few years , wanting to "Be Clean" but never stopping for more than a week??
I have gabipentin, and will start to take it? I am prescribed 300mgs/3xs a day?? I just read on here that Gab has its own fucked up withdrawals , and do not want to leave a Hydro habit for a Worst one??
But I dont Know what to do??
Coming here and 12 step meetings really helps!! I get so much relief that I am Not broken and Alone in this battle we call life??
 
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