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Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

Nicocastillo7

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 9, 2019
Messages
264
Location
Argentina
Hey my friends!

I hope everyone is doing well and hanging in there.

I was loosing control with my MS Contin.
I handed control over to my mom.
I have upped my tolerance.
I have been suffering it out.
It is going back down now and I am starting to get comfortable again on my 75 mg a day.

I think I am just going to have my mom give me my daily dosage. It gets too tempting for me to use a little more and a little more.
Running out and having to maintain on Kratom or loperamide messes me up too.
I hate to admit it but having someone else in control of my morphine is the best way to go for me.

I made the idiotic error of running way short then using my gabapentin to cover it, then using my clonazepam to cover the gabapentin shortage. Then using morphine to cover the clonazepam shortage. Ugh!
It was a vicious circle of FUCK!
I finally just broke and said “Please take these mom and give them to me daily! I have messed up and I am not in control right now.”

Today I am finally starting to get straightened out.
WHEW!
I also found that it is best for someone else to administer the medications, at this time they changed me from alprazolam to diazepam, with abstinence from tramadol I took alprazolam too much and there were days where I was taking 4mg and I did not feel anything, I had reduced for months and did it to lose, now all the valium my mother has and she is giving it to me, 5mg in the morning, 5 in the afternoon and if she sees that I cannot sleep at night, I feel safer this way, at least to get out of the benzos once and for all, with tramadol I don't know what to do, I wouldn't give them to my mother because she simply wants to keep me away from opiates, now my mother accepts that I smoke weed, which is good, since if I I feel anxious about an opiate I can be distracted by it without being judged
 

Painful One

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 18, 2017
Messages
3,359
Great job @Nicocastillo7

We have all found that it is best to have someone else give us our medications.
There is no shame in that.
The nature of these medications is addictive and it is hard to control.

I am really proud of all you guys!

Things will improve for us this way.

And, Don’t feel shame for needing medication or needing to have someone else administer our medications to us.
No Shame. No guilt! That is the way to failure my friends.
No one has walked in our shoes or knows what we deal with on a daily basis.
Just let the “judgement” factor go.

You guys are good people.
It is what it is.
Carry on and hold your head up.
Love you all so much!
❤👍
 

Larimar

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 16, 2018
Messages
571
Location
East Coast USA
Squeaky so glad to hear you are having your wife help with your pills , this will def help stretch them out some .
I had been getting my Kratom from the gas station but I ended up ordering 6 oz from the place you recommended
Pa Botanicals, very good price and I’ll take your word that they have quality stuff , thanks again . I got the Red maeng da Kratom.
 

Squeaky

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
1,104
Location
USA
Squeaky so glad to hear you are having your wife help with your pills , this will def help stretch them out some .
I had been getting my Kratom from the gas station but I ended up ordering 6 oz from the place you recommended
Pa Botanicals, very good price and I’ll take your word that they have quality stuff , thanks again . I got the Red maeng da Kratom.
Definitely buy online. Absolutely buy in bulk. You’ll use it. 6 oz is not much. And don’t let yourself run out. Delivery takes 7-10 days so keep that in mind.
Thank you for all the support.
The hope is that it won’t stretch my prescription. The hope is that I will only take it when I cannot stand the pain and not use it every day. Maybe have some left at the end of the month. Maybe get past the idea that it will solve my problems. Maybe start to learn a new pattern.
The fear now is that I am a good liar and I’ll find a way to convince her that I need them when I kinda don’t. This is going to take months. But it’s got to be going in the right direction.
Baby steps.
 

EPL1

Bluelighter
Joined
May 3, 2018
Messages
1,212
You sound really good Squeak. I like your plans, they sound doable. Keep making those plans and keep trying like you are. Proud of you my friend.

your friend,
Ash.


Definitely buy online. Absolutely buy in bulk. You’ll use it. 6 oz is not much. And don’t let yourself run out. Delivery takes 7-10 days so keep that in mind.
Thank you for all the support.
The hope is that it won’t stretch my prescription. The hope is that I will only take it when I cannot stand the pain and not use it every day. Maybe have some left at the end of the month. Maybe get past the idea that it will solve my problems. Maybe start to learn a new pattern.
The fear now is that I am a good liar and I’ll find a way to convince her that I need them when I kinda don’t. This is going to take months. But it’s got to be going in the right direction.
Baby steps.
 

Squeaky

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
1,104
Location
USA
Edit:
I was thinking 6 grams.
6 ounces is a good amount. There’s about 50 doses there. I am serious about stocking up though. The FDA is reading this posting and desperately trying to come up with a new way to make it illegal for you to get Kratom. If it works for you, buy a bunch before it disappears.
 

Squeaky

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
1,104
Location
USA
You sound really good Squeak. I like your plans, they sound doable. Keep making those plans and keep trying like you are. Proud of you my friend.

your friend,
Ash.
Thank you Ash.
Somehow I manage to be smart and stupid at the same time. :)
 

Painful One

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 18, 2017
Messages
3,359
Edit:
I was thinking 6 grams.
6 ounces is a good amount. There’s about 50 doses there. I am serious about stocking up though. The FDA is reading this posting and desperately trying to come up with a new way to make it illegal for you to get Kratom. If it works for you, buy a bunch before it disappears.
We should probably not mention it or lope anymore.
 

Squeaky

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
1,104
Location
USA
It’s too late. The bastards at the DEA have already figured out that lope and Kratom help with opiate withdrawl . That’s why the big bottles of lope disappeared from Costco and Walmart a couple of years ago. About 5 years ago they tried to put Kratom into schedule 1, with heroin and cocaine. When that failed they went to Indonesia (where the USA gets 90% of its Kratom) and tried to convince their government to ban the export of Kratom.
Now they’re trying to create a whole new way to “temporarily” ban any new drug. They want to call it Schedule A. It would allow them to make anything illegal without any approval from anyone for two years while they ‘investigate’ the potential dangers.
They are so far into the pockets of the drug companies and their goal is to keep everyone addicted to opiates. They claim it’s for our safety, but the war on vegetables is really about keeping the public from finding a way to live without those pills.
At this point I think the best thing to do is spread the word and stock your cupboards. If you have something that works for withdrawl then hurry up and get more than you can use. Even if you don’t use it, maybe you can give it to someone who will.
Just think about Marijuana....... how many people are still sitting in jail.... for a weed that grows anywhere.
 

Hollowpoint2020

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 15, 2020
Messages
5
Hello I am going to taper starting tomorrow. Any advice or an expected timeline is appreciated. So here is what I’m working with.

I used to have 60-80mg a day crushable oxy while drinking a ton of liqour about 1 and a half 60oz whiskey bottles a day. I went to detox for the booze but never stopped oxy for more than 10 days I am now having 30mg oxy neo a day it doesent really get me high but I gotta quit. Always just drank through pill withdrawal Before For the 20-30 times I had to WD in the past

Now I have a decent supply of Neos and 6 Valium ( and 30 clonazepam but I don’t wanna take them never have). What am I looking at for a quick as possible taper schedule? Never done it without booze and I have a slightly bad heart. Only thing that worries me. Thanks
 

Squeaky

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
1,104
Location
USA
Hello I am going to taper starting tomorrow. Any advice or an expected timeline is appreciated. So here is what I’m working with.

I used to have 60-80mg a day crushable oxy while drinking a ton of liqour about 1 and a half 60oz whiskey bottles a day. I went to detox for the booze but never stopped oxy for more than 10 days I am now having 30mg oxy neo a day it doesent really get me high but I gotta quit. Always just drank through pill withdrawal Before For the 20-30 times I had to WD in the past

Now I have a decent supply of Neos and 6 Valium ( and 30 clonazepam but I don’t wanna take them never have). What am I looking at for a quick as possible taper schedule? Never done it without booze and I have a slightly bad heart. Only thing that worries me. Thanks
Hopefully the heart issue won’t become a problem. I can tell you that any kind of quick taper is going to suck.
Regardless of how much you cut back it will take about a week for you to not feel shitty at the new dose. The real question is how long you have to do this and how much oxy you have to do it with.
If you have kids and a job you are definitely going to have to plan for a couple of months only because cutting back too much will leave you too depressed and achy to deal with real life.
I would say a fast taper will work OK if you cut by about 1/2 every 4-5 days. But it’s going to suck. It’s a game of percentages, not milligrams. Going from 30mg to 15mg will likely feel the same as dropping from 60mg to 30mg. Kratom really helps. So does loperamide(lope is best if you’re going to quit oxy completely, then you can taper off lope).
If you can switch to a single dose of oxy per day it will help to taper off it. Like taking all 30mg at night for a week, then going to 15mg for a week, then 7.5mg at night, etc. Again, not fun but doable.
If you have a week available to have the flu and just stay in bed, you could go for cold turkey. It takes about a week to feel partially alive again. About a full month to feel ‘normal’
Keep your valium for when you just can’t stand the insomnia any more, regardless of your plan. And don’t use it more than two days in a row. Scalding hot showers help with the body aches. Fresh air and exercise help with everything else.
 
Last edited:

Squeaky

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
1,104
Location
USA
Hello I am going to taper starting tomorrow. Any advice or an expected timeline is appreciated. So here is what I’m working with.

I used to have 60-80mg a day crushable oxy while drinking a ton of liqour about 1 and a half 60oz whiskey bottles a day. I went to detox for the booze but never stopped oxy for more than 10 days I am now having 30mg oxy neo a day it doesent really get me high but I gotta quit. Always just drank through pill withdrawal Before For the 20-30 times I had to WD in the past

Now I have a decent supply of Neos and 6 Valium ( and 30 clonazepam but I don’t wanna take them never have). What am I looking at for a quick as possible taper schedule? Never done it without booze and I have a slightly bad heart. Only thing that worries me. Thanks
Welcome to the thread.
 

Larimar

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 16, 2018
Messages
571
Location
East Coast USA
Yup Squeaky you were right , tried to take too much last night to have a little more “fun” and I threw up , it was bad . And I really only took a little bit more than normal but yeah had a nauseous night . Now I can’t even stand the smell of the Kratom 🤢.
How are you making out with your wife giving you the pills ? Have you gone searching around after she goes to bed ? I used to look thru my husbands stuff when he was in the shower or asleep , made me feel like such a junkie .. Hope you are doing good. I have not had anything but Kratom for over a week and feeling pretty good, sleeping well and no bathroom problems just a little bitchy and going crazy because if this lockdown but been walking around my development with the baby has helped a lot . Take care all ♥
 

Squeaky

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
1,104
Location
USA
Yup Squeaky you were right , tried to take too much last night to have a little more “fun” and I threw up , it was bad . And I really only took a little bit more than normal but yeah had a nauseous night . Now I can’t even stand the smell of the Kratom 🤢.
How are you making out with your wife giving you the pills ? Have you gone searching around after she goes to bed ? I used to look thru my husbands stuff when he was in the shower or asleep , made me feel like such a junkie .. Hope you are doing good. I have not had anything but Kratom for over a week and feeling pretty good, sleeping well and no bathroom problems just a little bitchy and going crazy because if this lockdown but been walking around my development with the baby has helped a lot . Take care all ♥
I have ‘cheated’ a few times. But I’m doing way better this month than before. I’m taking more than prescribed but mainly because I have such a high tolerance. I ask her to give me what I want, every time. Even when she’s asleep I wake her up and she opens the bottle and gives me the pills. I did take some without asking a few times but mostly I have asked her for them and so far it’s really stopping me from my old bad habits like taking 15 in one day when my prescription is only 3.
If I don’t stop soon I’ll run out way early again but I hope to be making better choices overall just because she will know if I overdo it and she’ll be mad at me. It’s going to take some time to ‘reprogram’ my habits but it’s going in the right direction this time around.
Kratom is awesome in that way. To overdose is to only throw up and feel pretty stupid for taking too much. That stuff should be the gold standard for getting off opiates.
 

Squeaky

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
1,104
Location
USA
I ran out this morning. Better than last month but still about 2x faster than I’m supposed to. My tolerance is still really high, and all I can think about is how much better I feel when I take the pills, so I ask my wife for what I expect I’ll need to feel better, and that translates to roughly double what I’m prescribed.
Last month I ran out in 8 days, and I was clearly using more than I needed. This month I ran out in 14 days, but that was mostly because of my high tolerance. Having to ask for them stopped me from abusing them. I’ll have to focus on lowering my tolerance going forward so maybe I can get pain relief from my prescribed dosage.
Baby steps......
 

Shady's Fox

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Joined
Jul 12, 2017
Messages
5,274
Location
Palm trees & sea, just walkin along the beach.
I ran out this morning. Better than last month but still about 2x faster than I’m supposed to. My tolerance is still really high, and all I can think about is how much better I feel when I take the pills, so I ask my wife for what I expect I’ll need to feel better, and that translates to roughly double what I’m prescribed.
Last month I ran out in 8 days, and I was clearly using more than I needed. This month I ran out in 14 days, but that was mostly because of my high tolerance. Having to ask for them stopped me from abusing them. I’ll have to focus on lowering my tolerance going forward so maybe I can get pain relief from my prescribed dosage.
Baby steps......
Baby steps, that's right. Create a journal, write your journey. Dosage/date/names/areas, maybe mentioning some little things here and there. Don't involve anyone else, that's my advice at least.
 

Larimar

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 16, 2018
Messages
571
Location
East Coast USA
Almost the double the days you were able to have pills Squeaky thats great. I bet it’s a load off your shoulders not keeping secrets from your wife as well. Great job 🎉
 

Karamazov

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 28, 2019
Messages
196
Been tapering sub and finally got below 4mg. Been steady at 3mg for the past 9 days. I feel okay except when I try to run, then it is clear i have not adjusted yet. Still, it’s a big deal for me. Haven’t been this low in years!
 
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