I also found that it is best for someone else to administer the medications, at this time they changed me from alprazolam to diazepam, with abstinence from tramadol I took alprazolam too much and there were days where I was taking 4mg and I did not feel anything, I had reduced for months and did it to lose, now all the valium my mother has and she is giving it to me, 5mg in the morning, 5 in the afternoon and if she sees that I cannot sleep at night, I feel safer this way, at least to get out of the benzos once and for all, with tramadol I don't know what to do, I wouldn't give them to my mother because she simply wants to keep me away from opiates, now my mother accepts that I smoke weed, which is good, since if I I feel anxious about an opiate I can be distracted by it without being judgedHey my friends!
I hope everyone is doing well and hanging in there.
I was loosing control with my MS Contin.
I handed control over to my mom.
I have upped my tolerance.
I have been suffering it out.
It is going back down now and I am starting to get comfortable again on my 75 mg a day.
I think I am just going to have my mom give me my daily dosage. It gets too tempting for me to use a little more and a little more.
Running out and having to maintain on Kratom or loperamide messes me up too.
I hate to admit it but having someone else in control of my morphine is the best way to go for me.
I made the idiotic error of running way short then using my gabapentin to cover it, then using my clonazepam to cover the gabapentin shortage. Then using morphine to cover the clonazepam shortage. Ugh!
It was a vicious circle of FUCK!
I finally just broke and said “Please take these mom and give them to me daily! I have messed up and I am not in control right now.”
Today I am finally starting to get straightened out.