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Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

Iceman1216

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Joined
Feb 27, 2019
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685
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North East - Long Island
@Squeaky , Thanks very helpful advice!! The country and most of the planet seem to really be in the shitter of dispare and depression right now?? I don't know how we got here ( I feel Greed and selfishness has had a lot to do with it??!!) But all this is only One day at a Time!! Just take the next right action, help someone else.
you are making progress, chronic pain Sucks and really listens to the little voice of addiction that " Just ONE will not be bad, and will fix EVERYTHING!!!
 

Squeaky

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Feb 1, 2016
Messages
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USA
A few hours early for me here...... but Happy New Year!! I’m trying to stay up until 12:00 but I don’t think I’m going to make it. For once it is probably helping me that I don’t have pills. Insomnia during withdrawals right now might help me make it to see the first minutes of 2020.
 

Squeaky

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Feb 1, 2016
Messages
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USA
I made it to 12:00 but only barely. I was so f’ing tired. Of course I slept like crap, so I’m starting off the New Year exhausted. Damn Oxy withdrawls. I wanted to take some Ativan to sleep but I really don’t want to get hooked on that again. I really want the New Year to bring me closer to getting off everything.
 

Painful One

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Joined
Jan 18, 2017
Messages
3,396
Happy New Year my friend.

2020! we made it!

sorry to hear you are suffering withdrawal.
This is the year we are going to get fully recovered!
We can do this!!
 

Painful One

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Joined
Jan 18, 2017
Messages
3,396
I am really having it hard guys.

This Narcolepsy bullshit is like- Imagine having Insomnia all your life but when you do sleep it is all dreams, dreams, dreams,
Nightmares, nightmares, nightmares! So you never really get ANY actual sleep. It leaves you beyond exhausted and makes you feel like you are slowly going paralyzed. Add chronic pain and severe migraine headaches plus cataplexy and other assorted bullshit to the mix.

I honestly do not know how I have made it this long!

When I get my period (like today) I turn suicidal.

I finally Found a doctor who can help me but I fear it might be too late.
I am SO tired. I do not have any fight left in me.
I hope I can somehow drag my ass through this treatment plan because I am just at the end of my rope here my friends.
 

Squeaky

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Feb 1, 2016
Messages
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USA
That really sucks PO
For me the worst punishment is insomnia. It drives me insane. And to feel like you slept but didn’t actually sleep is maybe worse. That’s the scariest part of withdrawls for me- the fear that I won’t sleep.
Sometimes I only get through a day because I don’t want to be beaten. By life, by people, by God(or the Devil). The whole ‘one day at a time’ nonsense kind of works.
I highly recommend Kratom also. Low doses work like coffee. High doses work like a sedative. Get the dose correct and you will sleep like a baby. And it clears my mind for a few hours as well. There’s a few big sellers on the internet. I have used several and they’re all good. I prefer Red Vein Maeng Da, only because I get the same effect from less powder.
And thank God for Netflix and YouTube!! I have burned through many sleepless nights binge-watching Netflix. Just praying the sun would come up and the night would be over. Trying not to think about the big tree in my yard that I could go hang myself from. Suicide is easy- being suicidal is misery.
 

falsifiedhypothesi

Moderator: BDD, OD, Music
Staff member
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Feb 22, 2014
Messages
3,481
Location
Detroit MI
Hope you feel better Painful One, don't give up, which is a bit hypocritical for me to say right now. You are a very strong and passionate person, you'll make it through.

So I had a breakdown new year's eve. I was drunk and decided to smoke, even though I was already in a terrible mental space. I left the party without much warning, drove like an asshole down the backroads, got home and slammed a quarter of a fifth in one go, and passed out. I scared the shit out of my friends, didn't answer any calls or texts until 1pm the next day.
 

somnilicious

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Joined
Jul 31, 2012
Messages
1,680
Location
Orlando, Fl
I am really having it hard guys.

This Narcolepsy bullshit is like- Imagine having Insomnia all your life but when you do sleep it is all dreams, dreams, dreams,
Nightmares, nightmares, nightmares! So you never really get ANY actual sleep. It leaves you beyond exhausted and makes you feel like you are slowly going paralyzed. Add chronic pain and severe migraine headaches plus cataplexy and other assorted bullshit to the mix.

I honestly do not know how I have made it this long!

When I get my period (like today) I turn suicidal.

I finally Found a doctor who can help me but I fear it might be too late.
I am SO tired. I do not have any fight left in me.
I hope I can somehow drag my ass through this treatment plan because I am just at the end of my rope here my friends.
That is exactly how it is for me. My sleep is horrible and I won't sleep for days and days. When I finally do it is all REM type sleep. I noticed that the earlier dreams will have a lighter edge but as I keep waking up every few hours at the dreams high points and going back to sleep the dreams get darker and darker, until I'm waking up from a nightmare feeling exhausted and out of it. If I force myself to get up before the dreams turn dark I usually feel better and not so drained of feel good chemicals but I always go back to sleep because when it comes I want nothing else.
 

Painful One

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Joined
Jan 18, 2017
Messages
3,396
Hope you feel better Painful One, don't give up, which is a bit hypocritical for me to say right now. You are a very strong and passionate person, you'll make it through.

So I had a breakdown new year's eve. I was drunk and decided to smoke, even though I was already in a terrible mental space. I left the party without much warning, drove like an asshole down the backroads, got home and slammed a quarter of a fifth in one go, and passed out. I scared the shit out of my friends, didn't answer any calls or texts until 1pm the next day.
Thank you! ❤🌹

Sorry to hear you had such a bad New Year’s Eve.
I hate terrible mental spaces!

Just get back up, dust yourself off and keep taking steps forward.
One small step at a time.
Don’t worry about the steps you take back.
Don’t beat yourself up about it. It happens.
Move ahead and don’t look back.

Sending you hugs and comfort.
 

Painful One

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 18, 2017
Messages
3,396
That really sucks PO
For me the worst punishment is insomnia. It drives me insane. And to feel like you slept but didn’t actually sleep is maybe worse. That’s the scariest part of withdrawls for me- the fear that I won’t sleep.
Sometimes I only get through a day because I don’t want to be beaten. By life, by people, by God(or the Devil). The whole ‘one day at a time’ nonsense kind of works.
I highly recommend Kratom also. Low doses work like coffee. High doses work like a sedative. Get the dose correct and you will sleep like a baby. And it clears my mind for a few hours as well. There’s a few big sellers on the internet. I have used several and they’re all good. I prefer Red Vein Maeng Da, only because I get the same effect from less powder.
And thank God for Netflix and YouTube!! I have burned through many sleepless nights binge-watching Netflix. Just praying the sun would come up and the night would be over. Trying not to think about the big tree in my yard that I could go hang myself from. Suicide is easy- being suicidal is misery.
Thanks my friend. 🌹

I have tried the Kratom.
I used my emergency stash of it (first time taking Kratom) at the end of December when I was a little short on my morphine.
It did work to keep me out of withdrawal and made me feel pretty okay.
I did sleep fairly decent on it.

The insomnia is driving me crazy! Has driven me crazy, I fear. To be honest.

Narcolepsy is like Living in The Nightmare on Elm Street. (Movie)
The dreams are so vivid that they suck you back in. The nightmares follow you out of sleep. Like in the movie.
I have to sit and review my life a lot after a bad night to figure out if it was real or a dream. It SUCKS!

The Gabapentin is helping for some of the above problems.
Not as many nightmares, they don’t feel as real, don’t follow me out of sleep as much.
Have more daytime energy.
My thinking is clearer too. I wonder if that is because they help for pain or sleep? Maybe both.

Yes. Thank God for YouTube and Netflix!
I am currently watching The Witcher and it is awesome!
I highly recommend it.

One day at a time my friend. Sometimes one hour, one minute, one second at a time.
We are making progress!

❤
 

Painful One

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Joined
Jan 18, 2017
Messages
3,396
That is exactly how it is for me. My sleep is horrible and I won't sleep for days and days. When I finally do it is all REM type sleep. I noticed that the earlier dreams will have a lighter edge but as I keep waking up every few hours at the dreams high points and going back to sleep the dreams get darker and darker, until I'm waking up from a nightmare feeling exhausted and out of it. If I force myself to get up before the dreams turn dark I usually feel better and not so drained of feel good chemicals but I always go back to sleep because when it comes I want nothing else.
I know exactly what you mean my friend! Exactly!

You should maybe see a sleep specialist.

The “treatment” for Narcolepsy was surprisingly ....do I dare say Awesome!? 😎😛
 

Painful One

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Joined
Jan 18, 2017
Messages
3,396
Unfortunately or fortunately (I have to start looking at it in a new way) for me, nothing and I mean nothing helps for “sleep”.
Except apparently GHB and anesthesia.

I am in the process of tapering down clonazepam so I can start the GHB!

I am trying to remain hopeful!

On a positive note- The Botox has worked wonders for my headaches and migraines! 😃
 
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Squeaky

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Feb 1, 2016
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Location
USA
Every once in a while I just need sleep. I have a prescription for Lyrica (Pregablin) but I take very little of it. A big dose of Lyrica hits like a gallon of Tequila and two hours later I’m out cold!
It comes with a little hangover but it’s totally worth it to pass out and stay out for the night.
 

Painful One

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Jan 18, 2017
Messages
3,396
Every once in a while I just need sleep. I have a prescription for Lyrica (Pregablin) but I take very little of it. A big dose of Lyrica hits like a gallon of Tequila and two hours later I’m out cold!
It comes with a little hangover but it’s totally worth it to pass out and stay out for the night.
@Squeaky how are things going with your prescription?
Has it been working better?
Has your tolerance dropped?

Go easy on the Oxy.

How did you taper Pregabalin down?

I need to taper down off Gabapentin ASAP. This drug has a warning put out that it cannot be used with opiates.
It has killed people. I have tried this drug in the past and I took it for a month (One pill a day) , at the end of the month,
I thought, well.. it Isn’t really doing anything and I just stopped taking it.
A few days later I went psychotic! I landed in the psych ward at the hospital.

I am very unhappy about now having to taper this Gabapentin!
The doctor assured me it was fine to take with my MS Contin!
I need to taper off slow but as quickly as possible.

I have found out that the “sleep study” and “treatment “ for Narcolepsy is way out of my price range!
I cannot afford it! I do not agree with this new doctors “treatment plan” either!

I don’t think it would be better for me to change from 75 mg MS Contin a day and 1 mg clonazepam a day to massive amounts of Gabapentin, Prescription Meth or adderall- strong stimulants, AND GHB at night! It doesn’t sound like or feel like a good plan for me .
plus I can’t afford it!

So I am just going to stick with my pain doctor and the medication I have been stable on for ten years now.
AND can AFFORD! I am bummed out over getting my hopes up but it is what it is.
 

Squeaky

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Feb 1, 2016
Messages
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Location
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I assume the taper for gabapentin would be the same as Lyrica.
I cut by %50 until I got to 100mg per day. Then I cut by 25mg per day. When I’m taking 25 mg per day , my next move is to zero.
Gabapentin is about 1/2 as strong as lyrica so maybe you would cut by 50% until you get to around 300mg per day, then cut by 50mg, then jump off from 50mg.
The important thing is to stabilize at each level or you will go psychotic. Usually about two weeks for me at each stage. Also, my method involves opening the capsules and separating the powder into equal piles.
Ex: A 150 mg pill separated in half makes two piles of 75mg. Same pill into thirds equals 50mg. So on and so forth.
The piles of powder taste really bad, so be ready with water. And I save the empty capsules to refill for taking on the go(put 50 mg back into an empty 150 mg capsule so I can leave the house!). Also, I can easily take one dose per day with no withdrawals.
Check my posts in the Lyrica(pregablin) mega thread. There’s a lit of good information about tapering and withdrawls. Most everything is basically the same for gabapentin, just the dose is 2-3 times more for gabapentin.-

 
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Squeaky

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Feb 1, 2016
Messages
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Location
USA
@Squeaky how are things going with your prescription?
Has it been working better?
Has your tolerance dropped?

Go easy on the Oxy.

How did you taper Pregabalin down?

I need to taper down off Gabapentin ASAP. This drug has a warning put out that it cannot be used with opiates.
It has killed people. I have tried this drug in the past and I took it for a month (One pill a day) , at the end of the month,
I thought, well.. it Isn’t really doing anything and I just stopped taking it.
A few days later I went psychotic! I landed in the psych ward at the hospital.

I am very unhappy about now having to taper this Gabapentin!
The doctor assured me it was fine to take with my MS Contin!
I need to taper off slow but as quickly as possible.

I have found out that the “sleep study” and “treatment “ for Narcolepsy is way out of my price range!
I cannot afford it! I do not agree with this new doctors “treatment plan” either!

I don’t think it would be better for me to change from 75 mg MS Contin a day and 1 mg clonazepam a day to massive amounts of Gabapentin, Prescription Meth or adderall- strong stimulants, AND GHB at night! It doesn’t sound like or feel like a good plan for me .
plus I can’t afford it!

So I am just going to stick with my pain doctor and the medication I have been stable on for ten years now.
AND can AFFORD! I am bummed out over getting my hopes up but it is what it is.
There’s no question I’m getting smarter. I can see my mistakes at the beginning of the month and I’m paying attention to them much better each month. However....... I’m still doing exactly the same as last month.
Hopefully I’ll pull my head out of my ass in the next day or two and make some serious changes.
 

Painful One

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Joined
Jan 18, 2017
Messages
3,396
There’s no question I’m getting smarter. I can see my mistakes at the beginning of the month and I’m paying attention to them much better each month. However....... I’m still doing exactly the same as last month.
Hopefully I’ll pull my head out of my ass in the next day or two and make some serious changes.
okay. Good progress!
Great that you are realizing where the problem starts.
I know it is hard to resist a full bottle of opiates. You think to yourself “I have plenty! I can treat myself for a few days and be fine!”
But then that bottle only has a few left in it and you are thinking “fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Now what am I going to do! Suffer with Lope or Kratom is what I am going to HAVE to do!”

Then...your tolerance is blown and you suffer even when you get your refill!

I put just a few in an empty bottle every day so it reminds me how empty that bottle can get and how fucked I will be without them!

I also went overboard this month, with the Holidays and all! Wanting to feel good and be more functioning for my family, so they could have fun! Thinking I will just suffer later for them!

No! It is I who is going to suffer now! I need to count my pills and cut down to two a day and soon or I am going to be in trouble!

I will remind you in a few days that we MUST cut down now or we are going to be in a world of hurt soon!

With Love,
P.O. ❤
 
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