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Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

Betternow

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Joined
Jan 29, 2019
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63
Me too, kinda, shroomy. The anxiety was real bad yesterday (48 hrs after last phenibut dose) i took so many vitamins i made myself sick. Anyways, slept ok last night and woke up real good, with the exception of boredom and unmotivated. I am trying to tell myself it will lift. Then again, what if i am stuck like this forever??

It's been 4.5 weeks since my last suboxone. I jumped at like .75. But I had just had emergency surgery and had 3 scripts of lortabs, so it was one or the other. Neither worked it was a nightmare. Long story short I had no pills at all in 7 days before I picked up a phenibut energy drink. At this point I have been without opiates for like 20 days. I hope you are all okay, I am pushing myself to church, to walk, to do just about anything and everything and hoping, like I have for 4 weeks that tomorrow I will wake up and feel better. I have like 7 pain pills, and like 8 sub strips. And i can assure you NOTHING is more disgusting to me than those effn drugs. Ofcourse, nothing sounds awesome right now.
 

Betternow

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Jan 29, 2019
Messages
63
I had a question tho. Yesterday i had an uoset stomach. I took 2 immodium and it really made shit better. I learned, since that energy shot that if it works well something is not okay with it. Can I take 2 immodium and still carry thru withdrawals without setting myself back?
 

Xorkoth

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Yes absolutely, in the recommended dosages the loperamide in immodium will not do anything more than make your digestion slower and be a nice little comfort med. At high dosages it can block withdrawals and produce a sort of "high" (very dirty for an opiate though) and some pain relief, and it can produce physical dependence.
 

Betternow

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Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
63
Thanks shadow. I noticed that my anxiety shot back up after I ate and i chose to go ahead with my 2 immodium today. Its prolly my anxiety making me overthink everything. I dont really understand the whole blood brain barrier so googling it means nothing to me. I am trying to be thankful that my legs don't hurt, that I am not as in as much pain as I was in the first 3 weeks. But, alas, the stress and anxiety is keeping me upset. I think I am stuck with it for a while.
 

mtop2036

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 4, 2007
Messages
283
Probably is paws. You were on subs for years right? Id be surprised if you didn't have paws. The best thing is to try stay busy and keep your mind occupied.
 

Squeaky

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Feb 1, 2016
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1,171
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USA
Im on 120mgs Immodium per day right now. It nearly stops my physical symptoms of opiate wd.
On day one right now........again. Same ride every month. Maybe this time I will get off at the end. So far I buy a new ticket every month and get back on. :)
 

Betternow

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
63
Probably is paws. You were on subs for years right? Id be surprised if you didn't have paws. The best thing is to try stay busy and keep your mind occupied.

Oh, yeah, years. I started heavy working out and keto'ing 2 years ago JUST FOR THIS PURPOSE. just letting you guys know, I can't live like this for months on end.
 

Betternow

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
63
Im on 120mgs Immodium per day right now. It nearly stops my physical symptoms of opiate wd.
On day one right now........again. Same ride every month. Maybe this time I will get off at the end. So far I buy a new ticket every month and get back on. :)

Have you ever gotten clean for an extended period of time? And if so, was there any down side to immodium? I do NOT want to keep delaying this shit.
 

mtop2036

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 4, 2007
Messages
283
Don't worry it won t be everyday! I bet soon you will have an awesome day! It'll probably be back and forth but the longer you go the more good days you'll have!

And I have to disagree with shadow about the immoidium. An opiate is an opiate. Maybe in a person who has never been addictd it would wouldn't matter. But I do see it causing some delay personallt, it may be a tiny delay but still will delay the process. It'll be very easy to continue taking 2 a day then maybe your having a bad day and decide to take 3 then 4 then 5 etc. If I were you I'd try to cut it out completely to let your body heal on its own. Less the chemicals the better.

And as far as the subuxone paws. You jumped at .75 which is a much lower dose than most get to and is very impressive. I'm in wds from just going from .08 to .07 if I can feel that small of a drop your body is probably still shocked from jumping at.75.

The more you get used to being drug free the easier it'll become. Pretty soon you'll be over most of it and be thinking "I can't believe I did any of that shit!" . You got this!
 

assurdo888

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Apr 20, 2015
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15
I know this is an old thread, but reading these words: "when quitting an addiction, every time we take a step in the direction opposite of using, such as posting, skipping a dose, taking a decreased dose, calling a friend, journaling...even waiting an extra 10 minutes before taking the next scheduled dose, we weaken the addiction" i just can't avoid THANKING YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, HOPING THAT YOU'LL READ MY ANSWER. The words you posted few years ago are so motivating. I don't know how i'll do with my ever delayed tapering in these days full of (non-drugs-related) troubles for me, i'm starting to think that if i taper now that i'm in trouble, even just 10 mgs, it could be a way to empower myself in problem solving under any and every point of view. My doctor, knowing the hard times i'm going thru, and having me said that i'm at risk of relapsing in heroin (and booze) advised me against starting the tapering plan right now. And i want to listen to him, he's very nice, he works with inmates and knows his facts. Today i'm also going to my psychiatrist, and tell her something about my current non-drus-related issues and of course about the ways to taper pk's. ANYWAY, LONG STORY SHORT, HAVING FOUND YOUR PRECIOUS QUOTE NOW, IN THIS TROUBLED MOMENT, I FELT ENCOURAGED AND MORE QUIET. I'm not only suffering from fybro SINCE CHILDHOOD, BEFORE I'VE EVER TOUCHED AN OPIOID OF COURSE ('xcept for the cough syrup at two years old lol), i also suffer from depression and insomnia, borderline personality, colitis and whatnot. I've been an on and off heroin addict for years, BELIVE IT OR NOT I'VE NEVER STOLEN, AS WHEN I WAS WITHDRAWING I JUST REPEATED MYSELF:"'XCEPT FOR THE CHILLS, I ALREADY KNOW ALL THESE PAINFUL SYMPTOMS, I'VE EXPERIENCED THEM, TIME BY TIME, SINCE MY CHILDHOOD, and so i used to "tough it out", at bed or even going out, ery often without comfort meds, sometimes drinking. Then i was put under low dosage bupe, as my level of addiction didn't justify not even a daily 2 mgs pills (here in Europe we've got this low dosage bupe called Temgesic, or the generic, each pill being.2 or .4, i.e. 1/10th or 1/5th of a small Sub - my therapy were.6). I relapsed to H almost evry time i had money and conncetions (in my town heroin is very expensive, and it was even more expensive in the early years of my on/off addiction). Then a violent earthquake happened, and i moved from town to another place, where i could score more easily, and was put on normal Subs, 1 to 3 mgs. When i returned to my hometown, there were no longer Subutex, and for two years i had Suboxone, and too bad i discovered that i was one of those patients that can have side effects from naloxone even orally (i have a natural disorder in endorphins level, that's the problem, and daily naloxone became hell for me). So i had to change to methadone for months, just 20 mgs, and i admittedly told my addiction psychiatrist that any time i had money to score i skipped dogfood and bought a bag or two. I don't care if someone says that i'm making up excuses in the "junky way": daily methadone weren't as hellish as daily naloxone-tainted bupe, but it made me feel weird and uncomfortable. Nowadays if i risk running out of my meds, i can drink two or three days liquid handcuffs with little to no problem, it's even pleasant, and so sometimes it was pleasant Subxone as well, for two or thrre days. But the longer i take 'em, the longer i feel discomfort, a discomfort that eventually leads me to suffer and to fybro/other issues worsenings. It's me that i had to suffer, not the doctors or the fuckin' judgemental folks, or the mafioso politicians and banksters!!! So, begging decent, respectful doctors for a more dignified life i was finally put on pain meds in order to avoid me seeking relief in the streets, and by time my dosage titrated to a point where i'd reduce relapsing a lot, heroin does not get me by the balls now, but pain pills do. But i once risked something worse: as they seen that i needed more and more therapy, they tried to make me taper in the psychward, but i can't, i have an explicit medical hystory showing that 99% antupsychotics give me horrendous extrapyramidal effects (and were i live if you undergo psychiatry it's almost impossible avoidng antipsychotics, if you have certain issues: thank God i found an anticonvulsivant mood stabilizer that keeps me well at low dosages and seems to reduce pk's side effects as well). I'm from a part of Europe where pain killers, EVEN THOUGH STILL BEING SUBJECTED TO A BRICKTON OF GODDAMN STIGMAS (people judge and scorns others' troubles and then when they're in the same troubles they demand the compassion they denied in the first place, that's old news, but still always detestable!!!...) are not socially widespread for the moment and PART of the public opinion tends to consider, say, oxycodone or other opies more like meds than like drugs - if they know their names at all. Anyway, back to the main point: ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU FOR THE VERY SUPPORTIVE WORDS THAT YOU SHARED WITH THIS ON-LINE COMMUNITY YEARS AGO. THEY'RE STILL USEFUL TO SOME, AS YOU CAN SEE, AND I WANT YOU TO RECEIVE MY GRATITUDE. Be well, mate.
 
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Betternow

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
63
I've really been quite sad.

The strength you must have shroomy-it sincerely amazes me. I have only been dealing with this since last Friday and only half the day. Believe me that's plenty, BC during that half the day I don't see anything helpful, positive or anything good in anything. I am at work now, PRAYING, for myself to come back to me if only for a few moments. I slept like shit, I have a dull headache. It's just the worst thing ever.
 

Betternow

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
63
Don't worry it won t be everyday! I bet soon you will have an awesome day! It'll probably be back and forth but the longer you go the more good days you'll have!

And I have to disagree with shadow about the immoidium. An opiate is an opiate. Maybe in a person who has never been addictd it would wouldn't matter. But I do see it causing some delay personallt, it may be a tiny delay but still will delay the process. It'll be very easy to continue taking 2 a day then maybe your having a bad day and decide to take 3 then 4 then 5 etc. If I were you I'd try to cut it out completely to let your body heal on its own. Less the chemicals the better.

And as far as the subuxone paws. You jumped at .75 which is a much lower dose than most get to and is very impressive. I'm in wds from just going from .08 to .07 if I can feel that small of a drop your body is probably still shocked from jumping at.75.

The more you get used to being drug free the easier it'll become. Pretty soon you'll be over most of it and be thinking "I can't believe I did any of that shit!" . You got this!

I got a flicker of hope when u said it won't be everyday. For now, it is, every. Single. Day.
 

Betternow

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
63
I had to make an appt with my primary care. I am worried about my state of mind. That appts tomorrow 10 a.m. idk what types of meds he can rx me, but I'd try anything. What do you guys think?
 

mtop2036

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 4, 2007
Messages
283
Hey sorry your having a rough time. I get you want this to be over, I would too if I was in your position no doubt about it. I think the appt is a great idea. I'm sure your Dr will be proud with how far youv e come. Maybe he can find some supplements that'll help. But d be careful with getting anything for depression. I know I probably sound like a broken record but giving it time is key. Its way to early to know if you truly are depressed or if it's still wd/paws. If you get on meds for it now you'll never know if you truly needed it, and as I'm sure you know depression medication has wds of its own. But at this point anything that keeps you clean off opiates is better than getting back on.

Don't give up hope, I'll always try to here if you need any help. Just keep on telling yourself that this won t be forever and don't forget what you can accomplish by staying clean.

What's been motivating you to make it as far as you have? Kids? Family? Just the want to be clean?
 

Betternow

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Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
63
Hey sorry your having a rough time. I get you want this to be over, I would too if I was in your position no doubt about it. I think the appt is a great idea. I'm sure your Dr will be proud with how far youv e come. Maybe he can find some supplements that'll help. But d be careful with getting anything for depression. I know I probably sound like a broken record but giving it time is key. Its way to early to know if you truly are depressed or if it's still wd/paws. If you get on meds for it now you'll never know if you truly needed it, and as I'm sure you know depression medication has wds of its own. But at this point anything that keeps you clean off opiates is better than getting back on.

Don't give up hope, I'll always try to here if you need any help. Just keep on telling yourself that this won t be forever and don't forget what you can accomplish by staying clean.

What's been motivating you to make it as far as you have? Kids? Family? Just the want to be clean?

My kids, my husband, my career, my health. These happen to be the 4 things that seem to now fuel my panic attacks. These attacks would last all day without my L-Theanine, Ashgawanda, Valeria root, st.johns wart, CBD oil just to name a few bc I try everything all day. Surely my kidneys are going to shut down if I keep this up! So, in the beginning it's everyday for a month?? I feel like if I knew-i will be better by friday-i could do it. If I had some end in mind. Shit, I don't know, I just wanted to be drug free.

I thought I had this incredible self control-my workouts and my diet, my behaviors and I am obsessing and losing my mind during these episodes. Maybe clonidine would get me thru these bad days?? Idk
 

Betternow

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Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
63
I have to see my Dr. Tomorrow regardless, I have run out of my migraine medicine, I had a bad headache today prolly from all the herbs/vitamins.
 

mtop2036

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Joined
Nov 4, 2007
Messages
283
Those are about this best reasons I can think of to be clean for. How old are your kids if you don't mind asking? Do they know what your going through?

Since you use cbd oil have you thought about using old fashion weed?


If you know you can do it with no issues maybe ask for a few benzoes for when things are real bad.
 

ShroomySatori

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Aug 24, 2015
Messages
2,935
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getting high by the candlelight
Back is hurting really bad today. I couldn't sleep that's why, and skipped another taper dose. I hate doing that. It's so hard to get anything done in the middle of the night.

I don't want to fuck up my life any more than I have. I hope the two of you are well today, and yeah I think weed dilates blood vessels. Should probably know that, considering I smoke it all day every day.
 
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