Cream Gravy?
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jan 28, 2014
- Messages
- 12,169
She came,
She went.
Was it a dream,
Or a nightmare?
I felt alive,
Desired,
Wanted,
But was it real?
Is it ever real?
The narrative plays out again,
Day after day,
Year after year.
Will I ever learn?
I've been here before.
This isn't new,
And yet it always feels as such.
I charm with words,
Yet they're double-edged,
Always pushing you away,
The succubus.
Sometimes I see you out and about,
Sometimes in dreams,
Always in nightmares.
Never gone,
Always present.
Sometimes I can recede,
Into the self,
Into self-medication,
Into drug induced apathy,
Or even 'happiness'.
But never can I stay,
Always I come and go,
Just like her,
The succubus.
Is she even real?
Will I ever taste of her flesh?
At times I've come close,
Her scents,
Her glances,
Her charm and wit,
Always fooling me,
Tricking me into that place which I never desire to be,
Yet always end up.
That in between place,
Living a paradox,
Emotions become blended like an acid trip,
But it's different.
Always ending in pain.
Am I fated to always meet you?
In my dreams,
My thoughts.
Are you the same person,
Every time?
No.
Sometimes you're mean,
Forward with your rejection.
Sometimes you're mysterious,
And I seek you out.
Sometimes I even hold you,
I can almost taste and smell you,
But it's forbidden.
Always at the moment of truth,
You disappear,
A figment of my imagination.
You will always haunt me,
Taking different forms,
The eternal trickster.
Perhaps one day,
I hope and pray at least,
I will learn to recognize you,
To know your ways,
And to recede,
Run away,
Before I can be hurt.
Yet always I return,
Some part of me knows,
It's better to be in pain,
Than to feel nothing at all.
I owe it to you,
You who created me,
Formed my hatred,
And love,
And fear,
Into what it is today.
I hope to meet you again.
I know that I will.
Again and again and again,
I will let myself be fooled,
Tricked,
Hurt.
Because I hope that one day,
I will hold you,
Know your scent,
Know your embrace,
And finally reach what I've always been seeking,
Understanding.
Until then,
I will see you in my dreams,
My nightmares,
In dark bars,
And crowded places.
I will never learn to run,
Or to turn away.
You will always fool me,
The beautiful,
Ever enigmatic,
Succubus.
"How could I ever forget,
It's the first time,
The last time,
We ever met?" -In the Air Tonight, Phil Collins
She went.
Was it a dream,
Or a nightmare?
I felt alive,
Desired,
Wanted,
But was it real?
Is it ever real?
The narrative plays out again,
Day after day,
Year after year.
Will I ever learn?
I've been here before.
This isn't new,
And yet it always feels as such.
I charm with words,
Yet they're double-edged,
Always pushing you away,
The succubus.
Sometimes I see you out and about,
Sometimes in dreams,
Always in nightmares.
Never gone,
Always present.
Sometimes I can recede,
Into the self,
Into self-medication,
Into drug induced apathy,
Or even 'happiness'.
But never can I stay,
Always I come and go,
Just like her,
The succubus.
Is she even real?
Will I ever taste of her flesh?
At times I've come close,
Her scents,
Her glances,
Her charm and wit,
Always fooling me,
Tricking me into that place which I never desire to be,
Yet always end up.
That in between place,
Living a paradox,
Emotions become blended like an acid trip,
But it's different.
Always ending in pain.
Am I fated to always meet you?
In my dreams,
My thoughts.
Are you the same person,
Every time?
No.
Sometimes you're mean,
Forward with your rejection.
Sometimes you're mysterious,
And I seek you out.
Sometimes I even hold you,
I can almost taste and smell you,
But it's forbidden.
Always at the moment of truth,
You disappear,
A figment of my imagination.
You will always haunt me,
Taking different forms,
The eternal trickster.
Perhaps one day,
I hope and pray at least,
I will learn to recognize you,
To know your ways,
And to recede,
Run away,
Before I can be hurt.
Yet always I return,
Some part of me knows,
It's better to be in pain,
Than to feel nothing at all.
I owe it to you,
You who created me,
Formed my hatred,
And love,
And fear,
Into what it is today.
I hope to meet you again.
I know that I will.
Again and again and again,
I will let myself be fooled,
Tricked,
Hurt.
Because I hope that one day,
I will hold you,
Know your scent,
Know your embrace,
And finally reach what I've always been seeking,
Understanding.
Until then,
I will see you in my dreams,
My nightmares,
In dark bars,
And crowded places.
I will never learn to run,
Or to turn away.
You will always fool me,
The beautiful,
Ever enigmatic,
Succubus.
"How could I ever forget,
It's the first time,
The last time,
We ever met?" -In the Air Tonight, Phil Collins
