Journyman16
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2014
- Messages
- 1,226
This is for the over-50's I think... :D
What do you do when an Irishman throws a pin at you?
President Bush turned up at a school for a visit. When talking to the grade 4 class, he asked if there were any questions. Little Mary put up her hand, and said…
“Mr. President, I have 3 questions.
1. How did you get elected with less than half the vote?
2. Why haven’t you found Osama bin Laden yet?
3. Why did you tell us there were WMD’s when you knew there weren’t any?
Just then the bell rings for lunch & they all head out. After lunch, the President again asks for questions. This time Little Johnny stands up and says…
“Mr. President I have 5 questions.
1. How did you get elected with less than half the vote?
2. Why haven’t you found Osama bin Laden yet?
3. Why did you tell us there were WMD’s when you knew there weren’t any?
4. Why did the lunch bell ring 20 minutes early?
5. Where has Little Mary gone?
An Irishman walks into a bar & orders 3 pints of Guinness. The barman serves him & stands watching. The Irishman takes a sip from one, then the next, then the 3rd. He continues this way till they’re finished.
As he’s about to leave, the barman asks what’s with the 3 pints & how he drinks them.
The irish guy says…
“I’m one of triplets & although me brother Dermot stayed in the mother country, Paddy & meself, Mick, have travelled. Paddy’s in Canada & I came out to Australia. But we agreed that every Saturday we’d get together for a drink, each in our own country.”
“That’s great,” said the barman & Mick walks out.
This happens every Saturday for a couple of months, then one day Mick walks in & orders 2 pints of guiness & sits to drink them.
The barman watches & feels terrible for Mick as he realises one of the brothers must have died. He walks over to where Mick is sitting.
“Ah, Mick, how are you?”
“I’m fine,” says Mick
The barman shuffles a bit then says…
“Mate, I’m sorry for your loss.”
Mick is mystified & asks what he means.
“Well,” says the barman, “When you only ordered 2 pints I thought maybe one of your brothers had died & was unable to have a drink with you.”
Mick laughs aloud and says, “No, no, it’s me! I’ve put on the weight a bit, so I’ve given up the grog.
What do you do when an Irishman throws a pin at you?
NSFW:
President Bush turned up at a school for a visit. When talking to the grade 4 class, he asked if there were any questions. Little Mary put up her hand, and said…
“Mr. President, I have 3 questions.
1. How did you get elected with less than half the vote?
2. Why haven’t you found Osama bin Laden yet?
3. Why did you tell us there were WMD’s when you knew there weren’t any?
Just then the bell rings for lunch & they all head out. After lunch, the President again asks for questions. This time Little Johnny stands up and says…
“Mr. President I have 5 questions.
1. How did you get elected with less than half the vote?
2. Why haven’t you found Osama bin Laden yet?
3. Why did you tell us there were WMD’s when you knew there weren’t any?
4. Why did the lunch bell ring 20 minutes early?
5. Where has Little Mary gone?
An Irishman walks into a bar & orders 3 pints of Guinness. The barman serves him & stands watching. The Irishman takes a sip from one, then the next, then the 3rd. He continues this way till they’re finished.
As he’s about to leave, the barman asks what’s with the 3 pints & how he drinks them.
The irish guy says…
“I’m one of triplets & although me brother Dermot stayed in the mother country, Paddy & meself, Mick, have travelled. Paddy’s in Canada & I came out to Australia. But we agreed that every Saturday we’d get together for a drink, each in our own country.”
“That’s great,” said the barman & Mick walks out.
This happens every Saturday for a couple of months, then one day Mick walks in & orders 2 pints of guiness & sits to drink them.
The barman watches & feels terrible for Mick as he realises one of the brothers must have died. He walks over to where Mick is sitting.
“Ah, Mick, how are you?”
“I’m fine,” says Mick
The barman shuffles a bit then says…
“Mate, I’m sorry for your loss.”
Mick is mystified & asks what he means.
“Well,” says the barman, “When you only ordered 2 pints I thought maybe one of your brothers had died & was unable to have a drink with you.”
Mick laughs aloud and says, “No, no, it’s me! I’ve put on the weight a bit, so I’ve given up the grog.
, utterly hilarious