• Life Advice & Visual Arts Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    🌌 Share Your Dreams! 🌌
    📸 15 Years of Photo Contests 📸
  • LAVA Moderator: Mysterier

The Stand up Comedy Thread.

rap-battle-parody-o.gif


ebola
 
Anyone want a good joke? Too bad I don't have one. I can't control when they come just like I can't control when I have to take a dump.

Yeah I know that was a shitty joke.

The End
 
On the whole Americans are surpassing the Brits pretty thoroughly at the moment. Louis CK, Bill Burr, Doug Stanhope etc are all killing it compared to UK stand ups. There is some decent stuff going on but shit tv panel shows are definitely killing the scene over here. Jim Jefferies is pretty good as well and an Aussie working mainly in America.

Obviously classic stuff like Bill Hicks, Bill Cosby, Richard Pryor, Jerry Seinfeld, George Carlin, Billy Connolly etc from the old days is all worth watching.

There's a few more niche uk comedians like Ross Noble and Jack Dee that I like watching but I'm unsure how well either of them would transfer for Americans.
 
sometimes I come up with a story, or have an experience that would make a good stand up bit. I will write it down next time and come back here proudly.
 
In class the teacher asked a question and little johnny got it wrong, the bitchy teacher who always made fun of him laughed and made fun of him as usual since he was the only one to get the question wrong but than said to him "but i like the way you think"
So in rebuttal and feeling embarrassed since he was singled out again by the teacher and had gotten fed up with being picked on so he said to the teacher:
"If you're so smart answer me this please:
Three woman walk out of an ice cream shop with ice cream cones.
One is licking the ice cream, one is sucking the ice cream and the other is biting the ice cream.
He than proceeds to ask the teacher which one of the 3 woman is married.
The teacher answered: The one sucking on the ice cream.
Johnny said no, the one with a wedding ring.. but i like the way you think"
.......................................

I've always wanted to go out to a club and find a girl named Sharon and invite her to come chill at my table with my group of peeps and then say loudly for the whole table to hear..
"I've gotta get some pussy tonight, who's sharin?"
She would yell out "Im Sharon!" and i would laugh and say thats great to hear.


-HOOD
 
Last edited:
I was just wondering.. how many subs does it take to fill an Asian hooker?
...........................................................

You ever go near a fat guy that for some reason smells like Taco Bell and you act like a tourist asking where the nearest one is and he replies "What's Taco Bell?"
That's when you can tell he has more than one problem.
...........................
It's pretty outside, don't it?
Yes it does, it really really had.
............................
My mom was drunk last night and said to me.. "T.J. tell me another story about when you were a little girl" I said "Okay one more than it's bed time mom".
 
Last edited:
I dont see anything funny in this thread. Maybe the thread is the joke.
Thats my attempt at humor
#Grey
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top