So, today I am at the 48hr mark from my last dose of oxy.
Background: I started in July 2016, with 15mg of oxy at night after work to relax. I was having a lot of anxiety planning my wedding and thought this would help. Stupid stupid stupid idea to ever put those pills in my mouth. Well. It only went downhill from there. I was able to stop without any physical withdrawl symptoms beginning of Aug. 2016 except for some low energy, depressed thinking, and some anxiety. I didn?t get as much pleasure out of doing things. But I didn?t identify this st the time and should?ve never started again. Well. After the wedding I continued, slowly upping my dose by 5mg/day maintaining this for 2 months until I got pregnant. 4 weeks off the oxy again until I had a misscarraige.
Again same symptoms of low energy and depression when not using but AGAIN I said to myself see? I have it under control, I?m not gonna get addicted.
Started using again in the spring of 2017. And that?s it. I was hooked. There was no more stopping. I continued using daily, around 30-60mg/day (I know it?s not that much now, but wait.)
Around Christmas, supply runs out. I realize I?m going through WD?s cold turkey. I had some lyrica on hand. 25-50mg q8hrs was enough to keep the nasty cold/hot flashes away (for the most part), the nausea, but RLS and anxiety still helped.
I successfully withdrew over the holidays, calling in sick for work for the ?flu?. Went back to work on Christmas. Lyrica and Oxy free, thinking how good it felt to not have hot/cold flashes, chills, and that overall sick feeling all the time.
Well fast forward 1year. (I relapsed 1 or 2 days after). Going strong on HIGH doses of opiates. Whatever I could get my hands on.
I was taking 150-300mg of oxy, 100mg morphine, 60mg Norco /day. If I could get fentanyl patches I would use a 50 on my skin and 25 buccally. Dilaudid- 30mg/dose and up.
Anyways you guys can see my problem.
Ran out of supppy quickly on Thursday night and woke up in full withdrawls Friday morning.
I?ve been dosing w/ Lyrica 200mg q8hrs, and 6mg of loperamide/day only when the worst of the chills and flashes consume me.
I am 48 hrs in bc I stupidly took 30mg of oxy Friday morning so i could feel normal for a traffic court date. So I suffered all morning for nothing.
My last withdrawl, then first day was the worst, second and third days not so bad.
But this time I feel I will never be out of the woods
I have no hope or motivation, no energy. I feel like I?ve been hit by a brick and can?t get out of bed at all. It is Sunday morning now. And the RLS is still bad, still having hot/cold flashes despite lyrica.
Is there any hope of this ending soon? I go back to work tomorrow despite my symptoms. And I?m hoping I?ll feel OK enough to function or just power through.
Has anyone jumped off cold turkey at that high of a dose?
Also to mention this is 100% in the closet. Nobody in my life knows I?m an addict. But the last few weeks, needing such high doses I?ve been energy-less, no motivation, just living in bed. The stress of getting my next dose has been all-consuming over the past few months. My thyroid is slow bc of the drugs. I started to feel as if I was falling apart completely at the seams and needed to change my life permanently. After all, what kind of life is this? Work, drugs, go to bed, wake up sick.
My husband, doggy, and everyone around me is noticing the depresion, low energy, not wanting to leave my house or do anything. This is not who I was before the opiates. I used to be energetic, HAPPY, and fun, and high energy. Will I ever feel that way again? I can?t remember the last time
I felt that way. Also I have no support going through this bc like I said nobody knows, and if anyone did my life would fall apart. I was so unbelievably STUPID to ever take those pills. I feel I?ve lost years of my 20s bc of the opiates.
So. 48 hrs in cold turkey off a super high daily dose. Any advice?