• Bar GraphicOpen Late Graphic

    🍸🍻 The Lounge 🍻🍸

    Welcome Guest!

    Forum GuidelinesBluelight Rules
  • Lounge Moderators: andyturbo | BK38 | D's | mal3volent
  • Bluelight HOT THREADS
  • Let's Welcome Our NEW MEMBERS!

Seriousish The Most Painful Things You Can Experience

Ganjcat

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 13, 2013
Messages
4,011
Yeah but the only guy who was on the next day was a nobhead who probably gave me half of what I should of got that was a long time ago though I was in a lot of a worse place these days I will just have my methadone and go without
^^ stories^^

Crack is a hell of a score. Easier to get some smack trading that crack. More valuable than money. Some good times with crack and smack. Show me yours I’m gonna show you mine kinda quid pro quo.
 

ChemicallyEnhanced

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 29, 2018
Messages
5,730
Location
UK
@Shady's Mom said he got kicked in the head by a mule when he was a kid. Nothing is funny about his life, just tragedy.

I knew there was some sort of a major mental defect there xD

I've had a sneaking suspicion for a while now that @Shady's Fox is actually just an alt account written by Sloth from The Goonies.
 
Last edited:

Pumpkin2021

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 25, 2021
Messages
646
Location
Michigan
I know this doesn't really stack up to stuff that is really extremely painful but it can be pretty damn painful and debilitating at times: Charlie Horse / Muscle Cramps.

Like most people, I occasionally get them in the calves, feet or thighs. Sometimes they aren't too bad but occasionally I'll get one hell of a cramp and in the moment it is so intensely painful, and comes on so abruptly, that it just makes things worse because I instinctively tighten up my body even more. Then to make matters worse, after a particularly bad one it can then be sore for days and prone to even more cramps.

lately though I've been getting them in the abs, usually just left of my belly button. Once it cramps up I cannot relax it for the life of me, there just is no way to move just right to stretch it out. I hate it so much, been making sure to drink plenty of water, electrolytes, been eating bananas regularly and also take a magnesium supplement before bed. Still keeps happening though 😡
I know the ones you speak of that happen in the calf. They are hideously painful. Can't imagine what getting one in the abs is like. Sorry the things you are doing isn't helping.
 

Beetle 6989

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 10, 2021
Messages
69
Location
Kentucky
I know the ones you speak of that happen in the calf. They are hideously painful. Can't imagine what getting one in the abs is like. Sorry the things you are doing isn't helping.
Last night I was having cramping in my legs, major stomach pain and still dealing with pancreas pain. This morning wasn't so bad but tonight it's getting bad again didn't drink today just bumps of meth. I've had it before but can't remember the healing part of it can anyone tell me that if it gets better tomorrow and I know if it's worsening I'll go to the doctor.
 

Xorkoth

🎨 ARTministrator 🎨
Staff member
Joined
Feb 8, 2006
Messages
53,340
Location
In the mountains
I would go to the doctor, if you have pancreatitis, you need to get that addressed. Meth probably isn't helping, but alcohol is much worse.
 

Outlier

Moderator: NSADD, DitM, SLR
Staff member
Joined
Dec 22, 2015
Messages
3,681
Location
Canada
I was talking to someone I was very close with for a long time. I was still very attached, we were still close talking all the time. There was a vacation planned for us, hed wanted to take me out somewhere out of the country. He brought this up after wed been living together for about 8 months. A couple months later there was an incident and I had to go. It was my fault but throughout the whole thing he remained my close friend, even protected me from the worst of the consequences around that incident so that I could continue to have a chance at life.

i asked him about the vacation, was it still possible. His answer was that just because were not dating doesnt mean that we cant go on a vacation together. He does expect me to cover my half now, which is no issue. I should anyway right?

That was the first time he ever told me we were dating. Im gonna save the long story about everything around that. All I can say is that a LOT of grief would have been saved, and most likely this incident which split us apart if he would have just been up front with me. Im pretty fucking hurt, and Im gonna be dealing with this for quite awhile I think. I still have feelings for him. Im still friends with him. Im at his place right now for a couple nights as a safe place to stay until I can get to work where Im couchsurfing and then find another home.

god damn
 

Outlier

Moderator: NSADD, DitM, SLR
Staff member
Joined
Dec 22, 2015
Messages
3,681
Location
Canada
Obviously more painful things can be experienced, but its up there in my own pain experienced currently. Most painful part is my whole life falling apart again and ultimately its my fault for abusing drugs and alcohol and freaking out and having my life as I know it become over, over and over again. Just because I have am addiction doesnt mean I need to abuse those substances, and just because I abuse those substances doesnt mean I need to behave like a fucking twat. Picking up the pieces the best I can, again.
 

BenzoBrain3

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
61
Obviously more painful things can be
but its up there in my own pain experienced currently. Most painful part is my whole life falling apart again and ultimately its my fault for abusing drugs and alcohol and freaking out and having my life as I know it become over, over and over again. Just because I have am addiction doesnt mean I need to abuse those substances, and just because I abuse those substances doesnt mean I need to behave like a fucking twat. Picking up the pieces the best I can, again.
Trust me no matter how bad you think your life is, you're doing better than I am. People following my Detox thread probably expect it to end with my death.

The withdrawals aren't even close to being as bad as....being exploited via the internet. That shit will haunt me forever... much much worse than pussy near fatal seizures.
 

Outlier

Moderator: NSADD, DitM, SLR
Staff member
Joined
Dec 22, 2015
Messages
3,681
Location
Canada
Trust me no matter how bad you think your life is, you're doing better than I am. People following my Detox thread probably expect it to end with my death.

The withdrawals aren't even close to being as bad as....being exploited via the internet. That shit will haunt me forever... much much worse than pussy near fatal seizures.
I am sorry for my behavior towards you before.

However, you don't know anyone else's life to a degree that you're the authority on having a hard life. You know that people get exposed for the worst shit in the world all the time and then they move on rather than dicksize how hard their lives are?

Grow up.
 

Asante

Bluelighter
Joined
May 4, 2012
Messages
1,019
Location
Holland
For everybody, their own pain is the worst, as it's the !!! in their frame of reference.

Still, most would have opted for suicide if given the life I went through.

I was a chemistry kid so at age 13 I had a tube of home synthesized potassium cyanide literally by my bed and there were mornings where I, 13 years old sat with that vial in my hand wondering whether to take it and get back to bed or, do just one more day of that atrocity.

I was kept being kicked while I was down, ,helpless to get up and escape the abuse situation which lasted until the age of 30.

After that of course, i was a wreck, but could not be happier as people were no longer constantly actively tormenting me.

You know what? I'm OK, I always was ok, and what happened to me was not OK.

Hang in there BenzoBrain3!

In the words of Winston Churchill:

If you're going through Hell - Keep Going!
 

Outlier

Moderator: NSADD, DitM, SLR
Staff member
Joined
Dec 22, 2015
Messages
3,681
Location
Canada
For everybody, their own pain is the worst, as it's the !!! in their frame of reference.

Still, most would have opted for suicide if given the life I went through.

I was a chemistry kid so at age 13 I had a tube of home synthesized potassium cyanide literally by my bed and there were mornings where I, 13 years old sat with that vial in my hand wondering whether to take it and get back to bed or, do just one more day of that atrocity.

I was kept being kicked while I was down, ,helpless to get up and escape the abuse situation which lasted until the age of 30.

After that of course, i was a wreck, but could not be happier as people were no longer constantly actively tormenting me.

You know what? I'm OK, I always was ok, and what happened to me was not OK.

Hang in there BenzoBrain3!

In the words of Winston Churchill:

If you're going through Hell - Keep Going!
100%. Everyone's pain is relative to their own experience of it and nothing but. I'm sure Benzobrain is devastated by whatever happened, and I won't discount that (too heavily) but there's a line where this woe is me attitude is counterproductive to solving any of it. I know this personally because I am totally guilty of doing the same thing sometimes. I try my best to take full responsibility for my actions and reactions in life though.

To be dead honest though, I am letting that post get under my skin too much. I also just saw this detox thread and honestly its one of the milder habits I've seen around here..

I wish I could impart some strength here because although a 7.5 month 1-2 daily Xanax habit is enough, I'm not in any fear of his life except for his quasisuicidal attitude towards it. Whatever picture leaked of him getting fucked on the web years ago.... It would be shameful for me to start giving off a litany of my own experiences and show I still feel some strength and confidence inside me anyway because all I'd be doing is continuing to humiliate where I was wrong to do that to begin with.

I honestly apologize for my behavior towards you @BenzoBrain3 and hope you can find some peace here. You actually have an outcome that could be positive here I support you getting some help here to navigate whatever you're going through. There's no point in trying to have worst life dude, thats between your ears and not my life or anyone else's
 

BenzoBrain3

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
61
I am sorry for my behavior towards you before.

However, you don't know anyone else's life to a degree that you're the authority on having a hard life. You know that people get exposed for the worst shit in the world all the time and then they move on rather than dicksize how hard their lives are?

Grow up.
I don't need to grow up because reality already did that for me. And it isn't over either because some very sick people with very good hacking abilities and expensive and sophisticated Spyware/Malware were/are determined to get me to commit suicide and did things that has made others take their own lives for even less. And of course they also had to fuck with my gullible mother and financially exploit her. It was so sad to watch her believe this good looking late 30s guy was interested in a mie 60s woman. And I couldn't do a thing about it because she thought I was paranoid and called the cops. Funny thing was they treated me with more compassion than anyone else. Only time I ever got cuffed was when I slashed my legs up and was drunk and bleeding everywhere. I only hurt myself because I was so angry about her being taken advantage of.

The only reason I have not taken my own life is because I know they would desecrate me and laugh and celebrate. I would rather rot on death row waiting to be put down than this situation. I bet they got really excited listening to my mothers frantic 911 call as my lips were turning blue after the seizure and I was not recovering much at all. Would be dead now without that canister of oxygen which still took a while to bring me back. If I do die now it will be unintentional.

Not trying to dick size at all. No hard feelings man.
I am sorry for my behavior towards you before.

However, you don't know anyone else's life to a degree that you're the authority on having a hard life. You know that people get exposed for the worst shit in the world all the time and then they move on rather than dicksize how hard their lives are?

Grow up.
 
Last edited:

Outlier

Moderator: NSADD, DitM, SLR
Staff member
Joined
Dec 22, 2015
Messages
3,681
Location
Canada
I don't need to grow up because reality already did that for me. And it isn't over either because some very sick people with very good hacking abilities and expensive and sophisticated Spyware/Malware were/are determined to get me to commit suicide and did things that has made others take their own lives for even less. And of course they also had to fuck with my gullible mother and financially exploit her. It was so sad to watch her believe this good looking late 30s guy was interested in a mie 60s woman. And I couldn't do a thing about it because she thought I was paranoid and called the cops. The only reason I have not taken my own life is because I know they would desecrate me and laugh and celebrate. I would rather rot on death row waiting to be put down than this situation. I bet they got really excited listening to my mothers frantic 911 call as my lips were turning blue after the seizure and I was not recovering much at all. Would be dead now without that canister of oxygen which still took a while to bring me back.

Not trying to dick size at all. No hard feelings man.
I've also experienced some extremely painful things in my life which have driven me to some extreme states, but I'm not going to justify it with an account of my suicides or overdoses or the abuse of all kinds I've experienced, the squalor or the dark pits I've been in. You can know that its happened, but seriously man.

Your story sounds hard but it also isn't shocking me one bit. A lot of us here have had tough lives. Its okay. Things are intense for you but maybe if you opened your mind to us a little bit you could see we don't need to wax poetic about all the hell were uniquely going through like I've got it harder or you do. I don't know your life and you clearly don't know mine. You need to find a way to look at yourself and your life a little more positively and with progress toward whats next, not prove to me that you've been through it all. I know. I've been through some hell myself.
 

Pumpkin2021

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 25, 2021
Messages
646
Location
Michigan
Have wound care scrape out your leg ulcer. Gawd dammit, why does an ankle even need so many nerves?
My sister goes through the same thing. I shudder to think of it. Probably as bad as being a burn victim and having them scrape your charred skin off. Man I am so thankful after reading some of these posts. Some people here really suffer.
 

Asante

Bluelighter
Joined
May 4, 2012
Messages
1,019
Location
Holland
I'm not saying its me, but there is not a street where there isn't a person suffering more than Jesus.

So many people have it so much worse than we do, even if we are ones who got it bad.

 

BenzoBrain3

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
61
Also have to point out that I am well aware about the hard lives of others. There is 2 young women I know very well who have a crack smoking, beer guzzling, rapist of a father. He used to smoke crack at the dinner table in front of them. And he singled out one in particular and repeatedly sodomized her and got her pregnant. So yeah, I've heard all about it in great detail. Even the crack dealer started warning this guy about the dangers of using so much.
The other one is 19 now and was actually witness to my seizure and was very disturbed by seeing that. Her boyfriend was there too and rolled me from my back to my side and held me there until paramedics showed up.
 
Last edited:

BenzoBrain3

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
61
I've also experienced some extremely painful things in my life which have driven me to some extreme states, but I'm not going to justify it with an account of my suicides or overdoses or the abuse of all kinds I've experienced, the squalor or the dark pits I've been in. You can know that its happened, but seriously man.

Your story sounds hard but it also isn't shocking me one bit. A lot of us here have had tough lives. Its okay. Things are intense for you but maybe if you opened your mind to us a little bit you could see we don't need to wax poetic about all the hell were uniquely going through like I've got it harder or you do. I don't know your life and you clearly don't know mine. You need to find a way to look at yourself and your life a little more positively and with progress toward whats next, not prove to me that you've been through it all. I know. I've been through some hell myself.
Wasn't really meaning to be wax poetic or prove anything. It was more about venting in a place where people would get it. I cannot talk like that in person because I'd be risking an involuntary hospital stay which are not fun especially when you have non drug related insomnia, zero benzo tolerance, and you keep getting the same 1mg Ativan dose which is still too small. I'm not surprised a patient there ended up committing a violent assault on a doctor or nurse.

Anyway, my posts this were made when I was supposed to be fast asleep and not mixing hard alcohol with benzo withdrawals and then blowing a few clouds to top everything off..emotions got pretty intense
 
Top