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Social The Dark Side Social Thread vs. Darksiders Forever

endlessnameless

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Nov 23, 2010
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677
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Where the Western Winds Bend the Silhouettes of th
Evening Darksiders - I hope you are all well.

Just thought I'd check in. Its been a long time since I've posted on Bluelight, and I honestly never thought it would ever again be under the circumstances I'm about to divulge, however after getting sober from Heroin (smoked) in December of 2019 I managed to remain clean until approximately 3-4 bloody weeks ago. The quarantine eventually got to me, I met up with some former drug buddies who just so happened to be using again and unfortunately it was less than an hour before I bought some. I've been smoking three or four bags a week for the whole or most of the month of July.

Anyway, I've stopped now so I'm just hoping the withdrawals wont be too harsh considering how much clean time I had and how relatively small my habit was.
I'll be feeling it all this week. Typically takes between 10 and 14 days for me to normalise back into a functioning state, however thats based off habits that lasted about four years at a time.
I know I'm in for a miserable week at least however I cannot go back to that lifestyle again and so after a month long run, I'm done.

Might pop in from time to time to have a chat over the withdrawal period. Take care folks.
 

deficiT

Moderator: DC, TDS, NSADD
Staff member
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
3,658
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The Belly of The Beast
Evening Darksiders - I hope you are all well.

Just thought I'd check in. Its been a long time since I've posted on Bluelight, and I honestly never thought it would ever again be under the circumstances I'm about to divulge, however after getting sober from Heroin (smoked) in December of 2019 I managed to remain clean until approximately 3-4 bloody weeks ago. The quarantine eventually got to me, I met up with some former drug buddies who just so happened to be using again and unfortunately it was less than an hour before I bought some. I've been smoking three or four bags a week for the whole or most of the month of July.

Anyway, I've stopped now so I'm just hoping the withdrawals wont be too harsh considering how much clean time I had and how relatively small my habit was.
I'll be feeling it all this week. Typically takes between 10 and 14 days for me to normalise back into a functioning state, however thats based off habits that lasted about four years at a time.
I know I'm in for a miserable week at least however I cannot go back to that lifestyle again and so after a month long run, I'm done.

Might pop in from time to time to have a chat over the withdrawal period. Take care folks.

Glad to have you back. I'm happy to hear you had the foresight to quit right away instead of letting it turn into a bad habit. I am currently on buprenorphine so I am going through the struggle as well. Good luck!
 

endlessnameless

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 23, 2010
Messages
677
Location
Where the Western Winds Bend the Silhouettes of th
Much appreciate you writing back to me, @deficiT and thanks for the welcome and kind words,
I've never been on Bupe but I did do two seperate stints on a methadone clinic - one for 2 1/2 years starting at 90mls (far too much) and dropping to 60mgs, then I relapsed and went on 20mls for (hat couldnt have been any more than 2 months) before tapering off.

Are you coming off Buprenorphine at the moment deficit?
 

Outlier

Moderator: NSADD, DitM, SLR
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Joined
Dec 22, 2015
Messages
3,552
Location
Canada
Checking in. My days are not so dark lately since im off meth around 2 weeks ish and no alcohol about 4-5 days. Havent been counting. Still taking some vyvanse and smoking a few bong rips pot a day but a huge improvement. My partner is stoked that Im actually acting like Im back to Earth he says!

Been taking my meds for once too and had some changed around. Feeling well.
 

Atelier3

Moderator: SLR
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Joined
Sep 28, 2019
Messages
5,695
i'm in day 3 of no meth and have passed into that tired, frustrated and on a hairtrigger stage. Trying to avoid people while getting a bit of sunshine and exercise but mostly lying on my bed listening to music. One of my kids arced up at me and I nearly lost it completely. Very unlike chill normal me. No real cravings though but have been taking extra dexedrine to stave them off.

A few impoertant real-life responsibilities racking up outside my bedroom door but I just can't seem to face them for the moment. No-one knows its drugs - they think it is bi-polar depression kicking in.
 

nznity

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 24, 2017
Messages
3,167
Location
Third World.
Spoke too soon. Man when those cravings hit, they hit like a goddamn hammer. Forgive me Lord for I am weak.
Bro, I'm right there with ya. Fighting so hard not to cave In but at the same Time waiting for my plug to wake up so he can front me a massive shot of morphine zzz
 

Atelier3

Moderator: SLR
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Sep 28, 2019
Messages
5,695
Bro, I'm right there with ya. Fighting so hard not to cave In but at the same Time waiting for my plug to wake up so he can front me a massive shot of morphine zzz

At least with opiates you have an excuse - you’ll get sick if you don’t get on. With meth it’s just the weakness of a feeble mind and absence of character.
 

nznity

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 24, 2017
Messages
3,167
Location
Third World.
At least with opiates you have an excuse - you’ll get sick if you don’t get on. With meth it’s just the weakness of a feeble mind and absence of character.
I'm not really physically dependent atm, I'm just craving something to shut my fucking Mind off for a while AND smoking crack isn't doing the trick.
 

Atelier3

Moderator: SLR
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5,695
smoking crack isn't doing the trick.

 

Outlier

Moderator: NSADD, DitM, SLR
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Dec 22, 2015
Messages
3,552
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Canada
At least with opiates you have an excuse - you’ll get sick if you don’t get on. With meth it’s just the weakness of a feeble mind and absence of character.
I disagree. The mental part of addiction, the drive to do more is the harshest part in my mind. Even with things like opiates and alcohol, which make you so physically ill, well normally a person wouldn't do something which makes them sick in the end right? Even with opiates I think the primary compulsion is just that, a compulsion. It's all in the mind. Otherwise, no one would decide to use or quit, yknow what I mean?

Crystal meth is the most mentally addictive drug there is, even more than crack. The relapse rate is 92%. No way are 92% of any demographic dealing the weakness of a feeble mind and absence of character. I know you're down on yourself, but try not to be so much. You can live with your decisions, good or bad, and move on to the next day without being in the same rut you are today.

Give yourself more credit. It's one of the hardest things in the world we're dealing with. The battle of our minds against hard chemical drugs, crystal meth in particular. We're not weak, we're not feeble, we're actually pretty fuckin tough to be living through this and all the negative consequences involved and still able to get up and deal with the day, at all.

Bad day? Okay. What can we do to make it better? Just enjoy the buzz while its on, do things we like to do, and pick up again when we're down. By picking up, I mean ourselves. Dust off and face the day. If we give in again at some point we're not failures, ok? You're not a failure. This is hard and takes many efforts for most to conquer. People do conquer, and so can you.
 

Atelier3

Moderator: SLR
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Joined
Sep 28, 2019
Messages
5,695
I disagree. The mental part of addiction, the drive to do more is the harshest part in my mind. Even with things like opiates and alcohol, which make you so physically ill, well normally a person wouldn't do something which makes them sick in the end right? Even with opiates I think the primary compulsion is just that, a compulsion. It's all in the mind. Otherwise, no one would decide to use or quit, yknow what I mean?

Crystal meth is the most mentally addictive drug there is, even more than crack. The relapse rate is 92%. No way are 92% of any demographic dealing the weakness of a feeble mind and absence of character. I know you're down on yourself, but try not to be so much. You can live with your decisions, good or bad, and move on to the next day without being in the same rut you are today.

Give yourself more credit. It's one of the hardest things in the world we're dealing with. The battle of our minds against hard chemical drugs, crystal meth in particular. We're not weak, we're not feeble, we're actually pretty fuckin tough to be living through this and all the negative consequences involved and still able to get up and deal with the day, at all.

Bad day? Okay. What can we do to make it better? Just enjoy the buzz while its on, do things we like to do, and pick up again when we're down. By picking up, I mean ourselves. Dust off and face the day. If we give in again at some point we're not failures, ok? You're not a failure. This is hard and takes many efforts for most to conquer. People do conquer, and so can you.
Thanks man - kind and sensible words I’m grateful to hear today. Hope you’re doing well right now.
 

Outlier

Moderator: NSADD, DitM, SLR
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Joined
Dec 22, 2015
Messages
3,552
Location
Canada
Why do the Walmart crackheads always ask me for things?

Like, do they sense I am a drug user and feel safe asking me for things.

They need to stop asking me for things.
Us drug users do have an uncanny way of spotting eachother. I can spot a user or a dealer from a mile away. As for Walmart, well it's the lowest common demominator for shopping in more ways than one. Including some of the people that go.:ROFLMAO:
 

Atelier3

Moderator: SLR
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Joined
Sep 28, 2019
Messages
5,695
Have been meth free for a few days. Was feeling good and getting stuff done at home but getting invited to a dinner party tonight with a bunch of straight friends set off my hair trigger and now I'm craving badly. I really want to go out and be normal with people. Have taken a handful of my Rx dexedrine to see if that helps. Can't believe drugs have killed my social skills and I now need them to sit down with people for an hour or two...I'm better than that.
 

Noodle473

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 25, 2010
Messages
830
Trying to remember how many times someone has told me to kill myself... I think it's at least 4.
 

on.my.way🌿

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 17, 2020
Messages
460
man im not doing good right now its all getting to me. like what is life what is humanity do we even matter at all? what is a life? are we only our memories then what does my life make me??? like this life must be a cruel joke right? what would be the point otherwise? man im freaking out rn
 

on.my.way🌿

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 17, 2020
Messages
460
how much before the mind just snaps because of anxiety im dying over here wtf isthe meaning of this it's fucking unbearable
 

on.my.way🌿

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 17, 2020
Messages
460
im contemplating just leaving everything behind right now if this does not get any better idk what to do i feel like just leaving and never come back i can't deal with life. if i was not broke i would not be writing this i would already be on my way
 

Shady's Fox

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Jul 12, 2017
Messages
8,217
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Palm trees & sea, just walkin along the beach.
How old are you, if you care to answer? By not having ''FOMO'' by accepting the bad and good. It's easy, it's all start within you. Now if you have financial issues, these words don't count as you maybe know -- you can't eat words. Identify and assassinate those thoughts. If it's not okay, is not the end.
 
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