Right its 5am. Im eating strawberries with cream. An absolute flex. Watching some chinese demons vs gods movie. Boy do they make some weird entertainment.
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Its a Self care day. Not leaving bed if it aint for lifting weights or such. Sun is shining and spring is coming 
We got some snow and ice last night and it already looks like a fucking ice rink out there. My bed area is like 80 degrees and the second i step off my bed it shoots down to the 60s.(house has no insulation).
I feel like i get it at this point. The one only thing that is a True fact is that every person is alone here. Coincidentally that also means that You must be your own Master too. You can change yourself and you are exactly what you need. So make it Last.
thegreenhand
Bluelighter
Self actualization is the ultimate goal, in my opinion
I am also doing some soul searching. But admittedly I don't think I've "got" it yet.
thegreenhand
Bluelighter
I guess the question is can one ever really “get it”? I’ve thought I had it for a brief moments of time but it’s always fleeting. Maybe learning to love chase is the ultimate reward
I used to think that "getting it" is some miracle shit. Well lemme tell You, it doesnt feel like i get it tbh, but I get it.
Gotta love the journey not just the destination I guess.
Psycho_Logic
Bluelighter
Sorry for just entering a thread without context...but I couldn't control myself as I read it.
In Zen there is a saying "the one who has a Satori goes straight to hell".
Meaning that all experience is fleeting and if you try to hang on to even most pristine ones it will get you in the same trouble as any other experience you try to hold on to.
This thread looks interesting. I am inviting myself in.
Which really tells that the boredom, we all partly fight with drugs, is the real struggle in life. Growing up is steadying up.
Psycho_Logic
Bluelighter
It would be a great thing to learn to let go and interest yourself in something that is calling your attention at the moment. Past grudges and too grandiose expectations from oneself really makes a person stuck. I would agree that that is one of the main reason why we tend to "enhance our reality" with drugs. There are other, more distressing reason, though. But boredom is really great fuel for drug use.
How do we get bored with so much diversity around us and in us? We can experience so many different things yet we succumb to such a sorry state. Fear and insecurity could have something to say about it I guess.
How do we get bored with so much diversity around us and in us? We can experience so many different things yet we succumb to such a sorry state. Fear and insecurity could have something to say about it I guess.
Its bad being a dreamer in 2021. Expectations basically at all are the downfall. I try to keep it simple.
Psycho_Logic
Bluelighter
That is probably the right view but for me it personally sucks. I know that I have traded many material benefits to stay in a position of a "dreamer" or non conformity. I don't know if I will ever be able to ditch that stance. Some compromising will have to be made. That was always a though balance for me...
Edit - I agree with expectation but would not equal dreamer/non conformity with somebody who is just wishful. Meh, Im getting tired and am probably starting to ramble. Better to call it a day.
Edit - I agree with expectation but would not equal dreamer/non conformity with somebody who is just wishful. Meh, Im getting tired and am probably starting to ramble. Better to call it a day.
For sure. I tried to be without drugs but stopping bupre anything goes and its way worse. Ohh, relationships? Get off, I dont wanna ruin your life.
thegreenhand
Bluelighter
the hardest part is knowing who you can talk about this sort of stuff with. i feel like I’ve met a lot of people who say it gives them an “existential crisis” when these sorts of things get brought up
and then you have to put on the mask so to speak
and then you have to put on the mask so to speak
Psycho_Logic
Bluelighter
Well every life is different and we all come from different angles, but, I have successfully stopped buprenorphine after being on it for 3 years. It was rough and yes, having a wonderful wife and a kid that I adore was crucial for me to even try it.
I don't want to be one of those who says "if I have done it everybody can do it...". I am not everybody. I was never sexualy molested, homeless, directly in war/combat...and I was lucky enough to never put a needle in my vain. There are just so many factors when you come to this kind of things...
I stopped buprenorphine a year ago, so it is possible, but at the same time I know that if the situation was slightly different in my life and I never met my wife, I would be most certainly dead by now...
I don't want to be one of those who says "if I have done it everybody can do it...". I am not everybody. I was never sexualy molested, homeless, directly in war/combat...and I was lucky enough to never put a needle in my vain. There are just so many factors when you come to this kind of things...
I stopped buprenorphine a year ago, so it is possible, but at the same time I know that if the situation was slightly different in my life and I never met my wife, I would be most certainly dead by now...
This is important. Most people view psychosis¨ negatively but in reality they are the make it or break it. Though its hard.
^Im only using bupre and basically nothing more. It works good for me, I do about 1.6mg a day.
Psycho_Logic
Bluelighter
For the record I have experience in psychosis myself and I regard it as valuable.
Psychosis should be used to get your shit together. Or something like that, atleast if possible.
But off topic, got a big day coming tomorrow (dat bupre aya!)
But off topic, got a big day coming tomorrow (dat bupre aya!)