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thegreenhand

Moderator: DiTM
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procrastinated writing a paper for some bullshit art class i have to take and now i have to have it dont by midnight :/

i'm not hating on art classes but why do i have to pay tuition for something that doesnt relate at all to my field of study?? i just wanna do math lol
 

D's

Sr. Moderator: NMI, TDS, TL
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Going to the dentist again today, getting a couple of cavities filled, and a crown. Costing me over $600. So will have them hold the check hopefully until the 17th.
Funds are so tight for me. Haven't been able to do things i actually enjoy.
Maybe this summer i will plan something.
 

deficiT

Sr. Moderator: DC, TDS, NSADD
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Well started doing my taxes when I got to the part where it says I owe $609.
I had to quit.
I don't see how and why me, single, claming myself and 0. making around $11 an hour get fucking taxed $609. I really don't understand it. Some fuckery is going on.
I wish I knew more about filing taxes, I was doing the free turbo tax method, because well I don't have anything special (like own a home, etc).

I am hoping for this next stimulus check, so I can take my taxes somewhere, like to a professional. To see if they can get a better number then I can because this is really fucking ridiculous.
I use freetaxusa dot com. It's work for me for about 6 years so far. This past year was my worst in a while. It gets you a refund quickly and keeps your records over the years.
 
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D's

Sr. Moderator: NMI, TDS, TL
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Shit sucks, but kind of my own fault for not understanding my taxes. so word of the wise, always put a fucking ZERO in the box where it asks if you have any exemptions(like kids n shit), and YOU do not count as an exemption, so 0 it is. That fucking mistake cost me $600, and living pay check to pay check means, I have to either save for 1 month to pay for that or use some of the stimilus money. I'm going to go on and use some stimmy$ for it.
Went to the dentist today, had a few cavities filled, and a crown put on. So I had exhausted my dental insurance. So now everything else is out of pocket, meaning the next appointment will be almost $500.
 

schizopath

Moderator: Music
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Didnt sleep last night but got some rest atleast. Also got dat bupre now so shits good. Gonna do chores and shit tomorrow. Also gonna lay off the stims for now.
 

schizopath

Moderator: Music
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Oh Boy im out of bupre again. Shit just doesnt Last. With such an useless substance its an up hill battle anyways. Mentally okayish.
 

schizopath

Moderator: Music
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Its not so much about bupre for me. Its my love of getting high. Bupres just the latest casualty and a good one too. Just a horrible drug tbh. Ive been shooting it way too often like a junkie.
 

4meSM

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I'm thinking about quitting the research project I started ~5 months ago. Some days I feel somewhat happy and engaged but I think it's only because I kinda enjoy solving problems, not because I truly enjoy what I'm doing as a whole... If I stay I'd have to spend a couple more years working on something that most likely won't amount to anything meaningful. Maybe I'll keep taking more and more drugs, isolating myself and ending up having some kind of mental breakdown. What I truly fear is looking back at this moment (as my future self) and feeling that I wasted my youth doing some stupid shit AND that I was miserable the whole time.
My colleagues and specially my supervisors would most likely lose their shit if I tell them I'm out. Though if I end up quitting I might also end up moving to another country so it won't matter as much, I won't need their recommendations anyway.

Don't really have a plan B so I guess I'm just rambling. I know sometimes you just got to go with the flow, but I'm not convinced it applies here because I could very easily end up in a (much) worse situation.

Maybe I should go back to my parents place, my dad has alzheimer's and he might not even recognize me in a couple of months when I'm supposed to go visit. He was already old at the time I was born, so even as a child I always knew that our relationship was going to be cut short, he was never going to meet his grandchildren (if I have kids someday) or even see much of my life. Turns out he never had any health issues until recently. Tbh I always thought it was going to be cancer or heart disease, but seeing him lose his memories and personality is actually worse.


Ok I think I've written enough :LOL: . I also have some good things going on and I try to be thankful and not take them for granted. I just felt like rambling, sometimes it helps you see the bigger picture.
 

TripSitterNZ

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Hang in there shit gets pretty tough im one month in and i want to fucking quit go back to hustling and now a urge to just say fuck it and go on meth to get shit done. But going back to do more drugs is what i tried to escape from. Hang in there and seek some support systems
 

4meSM

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Hang in there shit gets pretty tough im one month in and i want to fucking quit go back to hustling and now a urge to just say fuck it and go on meth to get shit done. But going back to do more drugs is what i tried to escape from. Hang in there and seek some support systems
Sorry forgot to reply.
I think I was being way too pesimistic. It's not unusual for me to feel like whatever I'm doing at the moment is pointless, yet I keep doing it and I very rarely regret it in the end.

We are much more resilient than we think, give yourself some credit.
What kinda chemistry are you studying?
My favorite is definitely organic and medicinal chemistry in particular. It can definitely be hard at times, specially when you have to learn a bunch of mechanisms for a test.

IMO the main thing is figuring out if you want to quit (whatever you happen to be doing) because it's hard, or because you truly feel like it's not right for you. It can be difficult to tell at times, but pushing through the temporary suffering almost always ends up yielding positive results
 

TripSitterNZ

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Sorry forgot to reply.
I think I was being way too pesimistic. It's not unusual for me to feel like whatever I'm doing at the moment is pointless, yet I keep doing it and I very rarely regret it in the end.

We are much more resilient than we think, give yourself some credit.
What kinda chemistry are you studying?
My favorite is definitely organic and medicinal chemistry in particular. It can definitely be hard at times, specially when you have to learn a bunch of mechanisms for a test.

IMO the main thing is figuring out if you want to quit (whatever you happen to be doing) because it's hard, or because you truly feel like it's not right for you. It can be difficult to tell at times, but pushing through the temporary suffering almost always ends up yielding positive results
Mostly anaylatical chemistry mind boring soul crushing work. Smoking weed nearly every night to get me through now
 

schizopath

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Im 3 days without a proper bupre dose. Holy shit I cant wait till tomorrow. At the point of selling my stuff for drugs... almost.
 

tubgirl.jpg

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Im 3 days without a proper bupre dose. Holy shit I cant wait till tomorrow. At the point of selling my stuff for drugs... almost.

Nice work man.
Selling your stuff is a slippery slope; it starts with small things, then one day, you enter the pawnshop all sweaty with a paperbag of shit and the staff is rolling their eyes as you come in, like, 'Fuck, not this guy again.'

More than your stuff, you end up selling your own dignity.

'I swear, that IS Versace. Oh, the black stains? Burnt heroin.'
 
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