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Social The Dark Side Social Thread v. Darksiders Forever

deficiT

Moderator: DC, TDS
Staff member
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
2,006
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The Belly of The Beast
Hey y'all was going through the Recovery Support Directory and updating some links, realized there wasn't a proper TDS social thread to update. But I did already add the current vent, song, tapering, etc threads to the guide.

Figured I'd start a new one. All posts must follow The Updated TDS Social Guidelines, Bluelight User Agreement, and TDS Forum Guidelines

But I figured this would be a good place for people to check in when they're going through personal problems. Or just another place to bs and update about your struggle with mental health and or recovery. Just a general social thread for TDS.

Hope y'all are doing well and had a good weekend 😊

The prior thread can be found here.
 

deficiT

Moderator: DC, TDS
Staff member
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
2,006
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The Belly of The Beast
Really this should be a "Darksiders check-in thread" cause some of y'all drop bombs and dip out.

I'd like to hope that people are making some progress every now and then. I guess if you're worried about any tds posters that you haven't seen around in a minute this would be a good place to find them.

And definitely check in here or PM me if you've posted anything serious in this forum recently. Just checking in to people who care can feel great when you're in crisis. I'm going to try and do better about reaching out to people in particular myself. Hopefully everyone does the same, as it's our duty to take care of each other and it takes all of us.

Love to everybody out there getting through pandemic year ❤️
 

deficiT

Moderator: DC, TDS
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Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
2,006
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The Belly of The Beast
This years Been shitty so far but i feel like I'm coming out from the darkest phase of my life so not everythings bad. I hope i can maintain myself sober this Time. im afraid of waking up in sweat wondering how to get my next shot. Not Worth it Man.

Good to hear from you bro. This was kinda how I felt in '14.

I was like 125lbs and all beat up, after rehab for a month went up to 180 it was ridiculous. I'm like 6ft and have always been pretty skinny. But I was on so much antipsychotics at the time. Have since stabilized in weight.

And mentally I have finally felt ok in my own skin. It's taken so long but I think it really just took me growing up. I feel like I see a lot of people in here that are really depressed or addicted at a young age, even up to like 24-25. It makes me upset because so many people don't get the chance to get through that last growth spurt.

It felt like I didn't even properly value my life until I was like 25-26. Even then I still maintained a pretty bad addiction but I at least felt content with living. I feel like a lot of my angst six years ago, I was only 21 and was dealing with such a traumatic childhood. It was gonna take time and I'm blessed I got to see it.

Kinda rambling and don't mean to talk over you, but hope it registers the same.
 

deficiT

Moderator: DC, TDS
Staff member
Joined
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Messages
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The Belly of The Beast
thank youuuu LA, I feel like 80% atm, i've regained most of my energy! I'm not craving anymore drugs since saturday, feels good to be almost back to normal :D

Glad to hear it bro. You were getting dark there for a minute. Now that I'm back on BL (and posting) a couple people have stuck out to me, and I appreciates all of you ❤ ^^both y'all above of course. Hopefully TDS and BL in general continues to be the place addicts go when they need to talk and they can't get to a meeting.

I've always had my own issues with 12 step AA/NA and it's never quite worked for me. I've always wanted addicts to have a place to go where they can talk to other people struggling without the pressures of total abstinence or a BIG book of values and foundations to learn.

Stupid me, but I had been witnessing and participating in it somewhat the entire time. BL is that place that can meet the addict where they're at, and offer support, advice, and experience to make life suck less.

Most addicts (not all) I've met are uniquely intelligent, open minded, and emotional people. Alot of times, addicts or people struggling with mental health, really just need to be able to speak to other people going through the same struggle to get any growth out of it.

There is no hierarchy, or "clean time" hanging over your head. But I think BL is one of the best places someone in crisis can stumble upon, and I hope more continue to.

Eventually society will take the next step in addiction treatment. First it was a moral failing, then it was a disease, but we all know it's just people doing what people do best right? Making themselves feel better. The next phase has to be harm reduction. I'm tired of insurance, pharma companies, doctors and psychiatrists profiting off of the misery of addiction and mental health, and not actually making it better. Harm reduction is the way forward. We, various junkies/tweakers, know it best because we have lived it.

It's up to us to bring society kicking and screaming towards progress with us. Sorry for the novella, but it's a social and I'm feeling Social 😎
 

nznity

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 24, 2017
Messages
3,180
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Third World.
Glad to hear it bro. You were getting dark there for a minute. Now that I'm back on BL (and posting) a couple people have stuck out to me, and I appreciates all of you ❤ ^^both y'all above of course. Hopefully TDS and BL in general continues to be the place addicts go when they need to talk and they can't get to a meeting.

I've always had my own issues with 12 step AA/NA and it's never quite worked for me. I've always wanted addicts to have a place to go where they can talk to other people struggling without the pressures of total abstinence or a BIG book of values and foundations to learn.

Stupid me, but I had been witnessing and participating in it somewhat the entire time. BL is that place that can meet the addict where they're at, and offer support, advice, and experience to make life suck less.

Most addicts (not all) I've met are uniquely intelligent, open minded, and emotional people. Alot of times, addicts or people struggling with mental health, really just need to be able to speak to other people going through the same struggle to get any growth out of it.

There is no hierarchy, or "clean time" hanging over your head. But I think BL is one of the best places someone in crisis can stumble upon, and I hope more continue to.

Eventually society will take the next step in addiction treatment. First it was a moral failing, then it was a disease, but we all know it's just people doing what people do best right? Making themselves feel better. The next phase has to be harm reduction. I'm tired of insurance, pharma companies, doctors and psychiatrists profiting off of the misery of addiction and mental health, and not actually making it better. Harm reduction is the way forward. We know it best because we have lived it.

It's up to us to bring society kicking and screaming towards progress with us. Sorry for the novella, but it's a social and I'm feeling Social 😎
Beautifully described man, totally concur with you :D
 

deficiT

Moderator: DC, TDS
Staff member
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
2,006
Location
The Belly of The Beast
Checking in, as my mental state was feeling a bit fragile in the previous weeks, but I feel like I've made some real progress this week. Have finally made a little more progress on moving into my new place. It has been difficult with the pandemic, but things are coming along. I've got my music room almost set, just need a desk now and it'll be a perfect little jam, chill, office, man cave type room. Which I really have never had in my life and its starting to feel like I can control my own universe.

I was recently falling into old mental traps and delusions I've struggled with, but I feel like I made real progress towards putting all of that behind me. For the time being anyway, I am content with who I am and I'm not too worried about things I can't control. The only downer is getting back to work next week, but hey, bout time I get back out there with the essential folk. Hoping everyone else is making progress as well <3
 

nznity

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 24, 2017
Messages
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Third World.
17 days clean, still yawning every now and then, it's so annoying. I don't wanna fall back into that fucking cycle of wds, relief,wds,relief, etc. FUCK THAT SHIT. I feel so much better now, my libido has come back with a vengeance also my emotions. Now that i wanna socialize instead of smoking crack and banging morphine in my room, there's no fking parties....FML well I got time to reconnect with myself, enjoy simple things in life and take one day at a time :D
 

deficiT

Moderator: DC, TDS
Staff member
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
2,006
Location
The Belly of The Beast
17 days clean, still yawning every now and then, it's so annoying. I don't wanna fall back into that fucking cycle of wds, relief,wds,relief, etc. FUCK THAT SHIT. I feel so much better now, my libido has come back with a vengeance also my emotions. Now that i wanna socialize instead of smoking crack and banging morphine in my room, there's no fking parties....FML well I got time to reconnect with myself, enjoy simple things in life and take one day at a time :D

Yes man, ya love to hear this shit. Glad you've gotten this far. It's tough interacting w/ the "normal" folks out there at first I think, but yeah, some time alone to work on yourself can do wonders.
 

nznity

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Messages
3,180
Location
Third World.
Yes man, ya love to hear this shit. Glad you've gotten this far. It's tough interacting w/ the "normal" folks out there at first I think, but yeah, some time alone to work on yourself can do wonders.
yeah man it's fucking insane how i wasted hundreds and hundreds on fucking NOTHING, when i could've been going out with friends and hooking up with chicks. but no i prefered a fucking needle and my crack pipe over that. Hahahaha well fuck it i'm still young (25) so there's plenty of time after all this shit passes to get back in the REAL game.
 

deficiT

Moderator: DC, TDS
Staff member
Joined
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Messages
2,006
Location
The Belly of The Beast
yeah man it's fucking insane how i wasted hundreds and hundreds on fucking NOTHING, when i could've been going out with friends and hooking up with chicks. but no i prefered a fucking needle and my crack pipe over that. Hahahaha well fuck it i'm still young (25) so there's plenty of time after all this shit passes to get back in the REAL game.

Right, I can't even comprehend the amount of bank I've wasted on dope it's silly stupid. oh snap sounds like someones about to start laying some real pipe 😁 Ladies usually ease the pain. Shit well I'm only a couple years older, but I can say definitively, the game never goes away, just depends which one you wanna play
 

nznity

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 24, 2017
Messages
3,180
Location
Third World.
Right, I can't even comprehend the amount of bank I've wasted on dope it's silly stupid. oh snap sounds like someones about to start laying some real pipe 😁 Ladies usually ease the pain. Shit well I'm only a couple years older, but I can say definitively, the game never goes away, just depends which one you wanna play
that's y i'm saying the REAL GAME hahahaha, the other game is just utter torture and misery.
 

nznity

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 24, 2017
Messages
3,180
Location
Third World.
Right, I can't even comprehend the amount of bank I've wasted on dope it's silly stupid. oh snap sounds like someones about to start laying some real pipe 😁 Ladies usually ease the pain. Shit well I'm only a couple years older, but I can say definitively, the game never goes away, just depends which one you wanna play
man like really, so many times i've turned down friends just to fucking waste a shit ton of money, go back to my place smoke crack for hrs then shoot up and nod off with the cigarette burning my shirt. that shit x9999 repeat every single fucking day when icould've got laid so many times with that money or made new friends idk. The opiate/crack fiend is at the top of the pyramid when it comes to antisocial drug addiction.
 
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