Musings of a man during the afternoon influenced by approximately 22 mg of the aforementioned molecule (4-HO-MiPT). I've had a religious experience while making my favorite chilli soup that I felt the need to share. A revelation I'm sure everyone who ventures to look deep forth into the void finds at one point or another:
Studying chemical interaction amongst elements has been one of the more elucidating areas of study as to my understanding of the balance of the universe.
It’s very evident that charges have a tendency to want to balance, easily observed by the attractive forces of metals and non metals on the periodic table.
I pose a question:
To what do we call ourselves, when we assign strict policies of “good”,and “evil”, upon chemical reactions that are simply balancing acts of nature. They are a result of net attractive and repulsive forces in nature, with indifference. Yet we assign human qualities to things that exist without our acknowledgment, like the natural order of these balancing forces. As such, the “goodness” or “badness” of a thing is merely a human construct imposed by us upon an indifferent nature. I suggest to anyone who reads on, that we are as significant as a single carbon atom in any organic molecule. An organism’s sole function is to survive and divide. End of discussion.
I then suggest unto any readers, that simply by existing, we fulfill our purpose in the universe. Bilogically speaking. Survive, divide, consume, die, repeat.
But there remains something deeper, of the nature of the period, in the book that is the universe that is the human experience. That which feels as significant or as insignificant as we assign it.
Cest La Vie. This is life. Love it, hate it, accept it, fight it.
Everything is as it wants to be, and everything will balance everything out in the eventuality that is existence. Such is the nature of +1 and -1. Zero. as if nothing ever happened.
Commentaries:
This was written in a +++ state.
Pre trip readings; 30 mins before the trip, fasted for 20 hours, stable blood pressure and psychologically prepared (or so I thought)...
L arm 124 / 75 - RHR 51
R arm 125 / 78 - RHR 58
Biometric readouts were (blood pressure and heart rate) Left arm; 149 / 70 RHR 91 BPM at T+3 hrs into the experience.
I felt as if I had just leapt out of an airplane without a parachute, unafraid to meet the ground. Reflections on loved ones past and the inevitable end of all of our lives played a big role as a revolving theme. I felt as if we had all been here before, and done things similar, and that we are all heading for the neutrality of (+1) + (-1) = 0. And acceptance was liberating, fear of death was extinct, I felt absolved of all anxieties, but the adrenaline coursing through my veins was incredibly potent. Like the biggest hit of meth I'd ever taken X 2 in comparison to this adrenaline and dopamine rush. Acceptance, contentedness, peace, euphoria. It was absolute bliss wrapped in adrenaline wrapped in cognitive euphoria. Like the truth has been hidden in plain sight, and the campaign of fear is built around the purely human concept that "death is bad and life is good", whereas, really, death is part of life, and we are all headed to the same place nomatter what happens inbetween. And while this is true, it is the here and the now that truly matters. And being anchored to the present is so liberating from anxieties of what may come in the future, or what has transpired in the past.
It was very freeing to accept death in this way. And also dually interesting to consider that the significance of our experience is purely subjective. And to marvel at how a complex series of chemical reactions can form a cognizant being, which every form of life in some respect, has the ability to detect stimuli, respond to these stimuli, reproduce, consume other ogranisims or molecules to help achieve the baisic functions of any entity: Survive and divide.
The racing pulse was quite an unavoidably prevasive sensation, so I had to abort the trip with 2.5 mg Etizolam. I've annoyed my girlfriend with my anecdotes and she had to leave the house to let me be in my excited, agitated, mind blown, pie eyed state. I did some yoga and drank some water. I'm not much of a yoga guy but it helped me calm down for sure.
Biometric readouts at T+4
L arm - 133 / 70 RHR 98
Still coming down from one of the most incredible psychedelic experiences I've ever had while making soup.
I saw the nature of what I would dare call god, in the simplistic nature of all things. Not as an entity, but as an undeniable force, the forces of attraction and repulsion, the effect of intent on the material plane, the miracles that happen every day all around us that we take for granted every moment of every day.
It has been quite a ride. I hope this experience helps others navigate this chemical with some foresight.
Biometric readout T+5
L arm - 131 / 76 - RHR 85
Almost time to puff a joint and just ease into the evening. What a fucking ride. Wow.
Arrived home after a walk and ONE puff off a joit
8:00 pm (T+6.5 hrs)
L Arm - 135 / 76 - RHR 119. The addition of cannabis was perhaps an unnecessary addition to the evening. Just waiting for the tachycardia to subside. Unpleasant.
The walk was a really integrative experience, every color was super saturated still, smells were more pronounced, the sun was setting, I felt a better connection with my body and my gait was very stable and straight considering all the chemicals in my body. I felt tuned in and symmeyrical, just processing all the thoughts and taking in the beauty of the supernatural world I was experiencing. It was like being in a cartoon, but more real. Very hard to explain. The etizolam definitely detracted from the depth. Upon arriving home pulse was found to be on a runaway. Most probably from just dialing in in it too much after arriving home.
+ 1 mg etizolam
Next day reflections;
In retrospect, I very much wish I hadn't had to take the etizolam, and I also wish the puff off a joint didn't make my heart rate jump up to a rate as if I was running at a medium pace.
The aborting at the first adverse reading felt like the right thing to do, if I was able to move around outside or walk or do something to keep my mind off my pounding heart, I feel like it wouldn't have been as much of an issue.
As far as concurrent readings, things seemed best at 6:30 pm (T+5 hrs after + 2.5 mg etizolam). But pulse pressure slowly widened afterwards as I continued to consume alcohol and smoke a small amount of cannabis.
Some things I'd change for next time are; stick with 17 mg total, not include any alcohol beyond about 4 drinks in total for the evening, and I'd personally avoid cannabis as it doesn't seem to mix well. And if at all possible, I'd try to avoid taking etizolam, it completely dulled the spark of the experience, but it helped ameliorate the dangerously high systolic and pulse pressure that was induced by probably partly my own psyche, and of course partly by the Miprocin.
yeah, come-ups can always be a little rough. Tryptamines come up FAST and hard when dissolved into water. I love 4-HO/AcO-MiPT. Actually I haven't tried the AcO yet, believe it or not. But 4-HO-MiPT is the most recreational 4-sub I've tried, I love it. Generally my abs and face hurt the next day from laughing so much.
