Hi, haven't posted in ages, but I had a 500 mgs of MXPr on Thursday, since lunchtime when the postman arrived unti some time in the early hours of Friday morning. Usually I stash things in my basement and only keep upstairs what I feel should be a harm reduction friendly amount, to avoid compulsive redosing. However I had been waiting for ages for this to arrive so I fucked up and kept the whole half a g in my bedroom.
Anyway this was maybe my 20th time with this compound, I started with 50 mgs snorted, then after half an hour I did 160 mgs also snorted, which was great, I completely immersed in the music while playing music videos on my phone and at some point I could see a tv news broadcast even though by then I had stopped using the phone, that was really cool.
I have an atavic disso tolerance due to decades of use, and recently due to 2-fdck and MXPr, last time I took it, which was a huge disappointment, I just blacked out that time as if I had surgery and was left with "is that it?" two hours knocked out and then some dysphoric dissociation? However this time I felt it very euphoric, at least the first 40 minutes or so.
Then I took some hours break, hydrated and after dinner I went in heavy, did the rest of the bag in three lines. Holed, I was dragged into a place where I had been before on previous trips, I felt that I was dead but a part of me said no you ain't dead you're back here, this is the end and the beginning of the universe then I heard what I call the "earth drum" an inner drum sound which represents the breath of life, which dragged me as if I were on a train out of the hole and back in my room.
This experience happened to me on other disso trips at high doses, it is always the same place, the same conclusions about life, death and the universe and the same drum sound, shame I cannot recall more, but it was the same place I reach on high disso dosages. Unfortunately I only remember small parts of this, I have no idea how long the hole lasted, but I remember just a few moments, the ones I described before. All Friday I tried to recollect more but to no avail.
Anyway start low, my dosages are due to high tolerance, so please do not take my dose range as an example, work your way up, this like all dissos has the potential of fucking you up, in all honestly I'm actually lucky that this time I tripped hard, I holed yet I always came back in bed, exactly where I was where I started.
Last time I've been there was when I had half a gram 2-fdck, two 1P-LSD blotters and unscaled lines from a one gram MXPr bag back in November...that was a crazy intense trip with revelations, mechanics of the wold explained, but I also fell and cut my head deep, cut my foot, hurt my side hitting something, bleeding everywhere. I could not practice Kendo for two months due to those injuries.
Anyway this time I'm lucky I had taken some flunitrazolam before which probably kept me from moving. Unfortunately it also made me forget most of the experience. On Friday morning I was still fucked, as in unable to roll a joint fucked, and although I could not remember more than a few frames of my hole I felt that it had been magical. Then for the whole day I could not stop thinking about the hole, as I could feel I had gained some supreme knowledge but could not recall it, just parts of it, the peak of it but I felt the hole lasted for way way longer than I remember.
I also had a very compulsive instinct to order more and if I had any I would have finished no matter what amount, so yeah, that's a bit the cocaine of the disso world, I have decades of experience with ketamine (started taking it in 2007), was an MXE daily user, I love 4-meo-pcp and 3-meo-pce, I used to do lots of DCK too, I broke my nose twice on O-PCE while trying to walk through the wall to the bathroom (yes that happened on two different occasions) and I spent five days in intensive therapy due to a Diphenidine OD in 2014, so yeah I know my dissos. Both the good times and the bad
Anyway I'm a long term disso fan, but the feeling I had on Friday was weird, like a sense of failure because I could not remember the hole and a strong urge to redose. I mean I had so many holes in my life but never I had the compulsion to sit down and force myself to think about all the details, it was very obsessive compulsive, I mean, with ketamine 8 out of ten holes I never remembered shit, but that never bothered me. With this I spent hours thinking back about the experience, with the shit monkey on my back saying, order more and you can go back there.
I ended up cutting the bag with a knife, there was still a bit of powder in it, I licked a joint and then passed it on the powder, the bigger chunks of powder I mixed with the weed, had to say that spliff brought back a hell of an effect, if I ever happen to buy this again, I will definately try to vape some. This stuff is probably the most moreish disso I tried, I mean with MXE there was a time where I woud use daily, but I could also skip a week to get my tolerance a bit down. With this I would end up licking the cut up back no matter the amount as I have done every single time I took it.
Anyway, always scale your doses, don't be an idiot like me who preaches harm reduction, then has unscaled lines of novel dissos while already fucked up.
Anyway I am still undecided whether I love this chemical or not, I like the short duration, however it leads to redosing and compulsive behaviour, and that I do not like, the hole is great if you manage to remember anything from it, I mean this time I had taken a benzo and still I holed and I remember fewparts of that hole but I have this sense of sadness for not remembering more, but other times I just blacked out with no memory even without benzos.
With MXE, 4-meo-pcp and 3-meo-pce I remember holes that happened years ago, hell one summer with MXE I was at the peak of my etizolam abuse and still I could remember the experiences, clear as day, I remember being dragged through a rennassaince painting in 3D and many other epic experiences. There were times were I could not remember anything but I feel with this you are more prone to surgery type of blackout and that's it, while with MXE even if I came back face down on the bathroom floor I could still recall epic moments of the trip.
If you like dissos it's definately worth a try, it's not MXE, it's his own thing. Personally I would put it below ketamine, below DCK, below MXE and below 3-meo-pce.
For small doses and recreation I would even use 2-fdck over this, small doses of this don't lead me anywhere, it's good for holing but anything under 100 mgs seems just a waste (mind my tolerance), a decent body high with some euphoria for half hour and then confused state of mind, but with no interest in music, films like I have with other dissos, no full immersion with the screen floating in the darnkess. I mean yes the screen floats but I am detatched and couldn't give a shit, while on other dissos it would be blissful.
At small doses I feel it's one of the only dissos where I actually felt bored, that literally never happened with any disso, a couple of bumps of ket would make lose myself into watching anime, as would 15 mgs of MXE snorted or 3-meo-pce (watched a whole season of South Park on 3-meo-pce, crazy fucking intense).
And I have made sure to get all supplies for volumetric dosing and things like that, which is always cool to do, but definitely with the good dissos you gotta watch out. Hope y'all are all still using scales and shit, stay safe from the covid too please!
Glad you're okay, I have yet to get too deep with MXPr, but I have read a couple of really harrowing accounts.
