Anthranxiety
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2013
- Messages
- 6
I posted this in the recovery area of the forum, but realise it was probably better to have posted it here...
FIRST OF ALL, SORRY FOR THE LONG POST
I'm terribly sorry for writing this new topic when, through search, I see that it's been covered many times. I Just wanted one or two personal responses to make sure I'm not over-reacting or going crazy. I have read the other threads but I cannot understand why I'm having such a horrid time after such a short time of use.
I was prescribed Lorazepam for anxiety in January, and in February I had a heart operation. I was taking minimum 1mg a day and max 3mg a day up until this point.
At this point, I had no idea I was addicted (I'd only been on it for a month) but five days before my heart operation (catheder op for wolff parkinson white syndrome), I had to stop all meds. I stopped Lorazepam cold, and had heightened anxiety, shaking and the feeling of wanting to vomit every single day but I put this down to just being nervous for the op.
To calm me down, they gave me Lorazepam in the hospital before and after my op.
When I went home, I wanted to vomit all the time. I was worried because I thought something was wrong with my heart. I found that taking Lorazepam helped this go away completely, and I thought this was just the anti-anxiety effect - I didn't think this was prolonging the addiction.
Anyway in March I realised something was wrong and went to the hospital. In one week I called an Ambulance 3 times with blackouts, extreme anxiety, agitation... The list goes on.
I was told by every hospital that I had a problem with Lorazepam and that I must stop, but that they couldn't help me with that. I eventually begged to see a Psychiatrist who agreed that I was addicted and put me on a Valium substitute.
I was also put on Valpro (1500mg!!) and Cipralex. I managed to taper down to 4mg Valium before going right back up to about 20-30mg a day and checking into a hospital where I stayed for 11 weeks (!!). I really tried so hard to taper myself but the withdrawal was unbearable. I couldn't stop dry wretching and couldn't function properly at all.
Anyway in total I've only been on Benzos for 6months total and I've been off them for about 6 weeks but my anxiety is through the roof and my cognitive behaviour is weird. I'm forgetting things still, and the anxiety is crippling.
I just want to ask - is this normal?? People who complain about this seem to have been on it for years and I was only on it daily for 6 months. Is it normal that I'm still feeling awful for 60% of the day even after getting through the AWFUL withdrawal effects in the hospital and being clean for 6 weeks?
I'm on 450mg Lyrica to help with the anxiety and it does help, but I'm worried that people think I'm over-reacting, or if it's a placebo effect this whole anxiety thing? It was never this bad before Benzos but by all means I'm finished with the Benzo Withdrawal Syndrome so I just don't understand what's happening.
Can anyone shed some light onto why I'm feeling so awful after such a short time on Benzos, and why it's continuing? It's not as bad as the withdrawal which was genuinely awful, but my anxiety and restlessness is absolutely through the roof and I'm concerned. Is it this "PAWS" thing, or is that a bullshit term coined by the weirdos over at the cultish "benzobuddies" site?
Thanks so much, and I'm sorry if people are annoyed that this has been covered before - I'm just a bit desperate for answers that's all.
FIRST OF ALL, SORRY FOR THE LONG POST
I'm terribly sorry for writing this new topic when, through search, I see that it's been covered many times. I Just wanted one or two personal responses to make sure I'm not over-reacting or going crazy. I have read the other threads but I cannot understand why I'm having such a horrid time after such a short time of use.
I was prescribed Lorazepam for anxiety in January, and in February I had a heart operation. I was taking minimum 1mg a day and max 3mg a day up until this point.
At this point, I had no idea I was addicted (I'd only been on it for a month) but five days before my heart operation (catheder op for wolff parkinson white syndrome), I had to stop all meds. I stopped Lorazepam cold, and had heightened anxiety, shaking and the feeling of wanting to vomit every single day but I put this down to just being nervous for the op.
To calm me down, they gave me Lorazepam in the hospital before and after my op.
When I went home, I wanted to vomit all the time. I was worried because I thought something was wrong with my heart. I found that taking Lorazepam helped this go away completely, and I thought this was just the anti-anxiety effect - I didn't think this was prolonging the addiction.
Anyway in March I realised something was wrong and went to the hospital. In one week I called an Ambulance 3 times with blackouts, extreme anxiety, agitation... The list goes on.
I was told by every hospital that I had a problem with Lorazepam and that I must stop, but that they couldn't help me with that. I eventually begged to see a Psychiatrist who agreed that I was addicted and put me on a Valium substitute.
I was also put on Valpro (1500mg!!) and Cipralex. I managed to taper down to 4mg Valium before going right back up to about 20-30mg a day and checking into a hospital where I stayed for 11 weeks (!!). I really tried so hard to taper myself but the withdrawal was unbearable. I couldn't stop dry wretching and couldn't function properly at all.
Anyway in total I've only been on Benzos for 6months total and I've been off them for about 6 weeks but my anxiety is through the roof and my cognitive behaviour is weird. I'm forgetting things still, and the anxiety is crippling.
I just want to ask - is this normal?? People who complain about this seem to have been on it for years and I was only on it daily for 6 months. Is it normal that I'm still feeling awful for 60% of the day even after getting through the AWFUL withdrawal effects in the hospital and being clean for 6 weeks?
I'm on 450mg Lyrica to help with the anxiety and it does help, but I'm worried that people think I'm over-reacting, or if it's a placebo effect this whole anxiety thing? It was never this bad before Benzos but by all means I'm finished with the Benzo Withdrawal Syndrome so I just don't understand what's happening.
Can anyone shed some light onto why I'm feeling so awful after such a short time on Benzos, and why it's continuing? It's not as bad as the withdrawal which was genuinely awful, but my anxiety and restlessness is absolutely through the roof and I'm concerned. Is it this "PAWS" thing, or is that a bullshit term coined by the weirdos over at the cultish "benzobuddies" site?
Thanks so much, and I'm sorry if people are annoyed that this has been covered before - I'm just a bit desperate for answers that's all.