The Anti-Christmas League is BACK!!!
- Thread starter Raz
- Start date
m4dd0g
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2005
- Messages
- 3,663
2005 anti-christmas slogans
"Excerpt from 'American Phycho': As a child I remember being told there really was no Santa; I tortured my first squirrel the very next day"
"Scientists discover contents of eggnog found to be ... 'suspicious' "
"News Flash: Christmas cake found to cause incest"
"Christmas: What a load of shit"
"Captains Log 2134: Just nuked some crazy fucker on a sleigh out of the sky. Looks like its venison for dinner lads"
"Due to shortage of funds the Anti-Christmas League propaganda dept has closed its door until further notice. Why do people keep donating to christmas kids funds? - heathens!"
"Buy Jesus a present for his birthday; make sure you check pillreports for good street Myrrh"
"Buy Jesus a present for his birthday; make sure you check pillreports for good street Myrrh"
"Santa cant get off unless he stabs one of his elves in the face"
"When you cant find the right present and settle for crap; dont worry the person is expected to lie and say its great"
"The simple but hypnotic effect of Christmas lights are designed to put the viewer into a mild stupor whilst capitalism sneaks up behind you and slams your ass repeatedly with debt"
"Santa douches with your christmas socks"
"Christmas ... Just so retail doesnt get it easy all year round"
"Why is Santas bag red? The 'nice' children get presents; the 'naughty' ones have to give up a litre of blood to fuel the posessed reindeer"
"Christmas 2005. The birthday of an invisible man in the sky or commercialisation of a fat guy who gives presents to children. You decide in this battle to the death!"
"Ever wondered how reindeers can fly? Lets just say its not legal and your mum wouldnt approve and leave it at that"
"The Pro-Christmas League created the Christmas myth as a means to discriminate against everyone who wasnt a big fat white guy. Ever seen what most rich people look like?"
"Our accurate historical accounts state that Ghandi once said: 'Christmas is leik totally the gehy mutherfucker. You dig?"
"If Santa and Jesus had a wrestling match to see who owns Christmas ... The Coke a Cola company would still win"
"The tradition of putting a 6 pence into Christmas pudding originated from the repeated assisination attempts by corrupt English politicians"
"My earliest childhood memories of christmas was of my brother getting a cool red fire engine that had flashing lights. It was heaps better than my present; which is probably why I do drugs"
"I dont see Jesus celebrating my birthday!"
"To be true to capitalism you should feel warm and fuzzy when discarding Christmas lunch leftovers. Imagining thousands of staving Ethiopian children watching you is unpatriotic"
"Christmas shopping: Show how much you care by making the rich people richer"
"News Flash: Flying sleigh busted trying to get out of Singapore with 10kilo of heroin in reindeer anal cavity. 'No more hohoho for this fat bastard' says head of police"
"Recent clinical trials have proven that singing christmas carols makes you a dweeb"
"Reindeer crack proven to make noses glow"
"Christmas gives you nasal cancer"
"Opening of Christmas presents at a young age linked to Obsessive Masturbation Disorder"
"Christmas alone: The dark room, a lonely unconnected soul, the light of others' dreams makes deeper shadows of your life, the compulsory pity that bites into your reality, the illusion of hope shattered by a world that celebrates despite you"
"Recent studies have shown that adult psychosis can be traced back to finding out the non-existence of Santa"
"I saw mummy kissing santa-clause - The dirty home-wrecker!"
"To the capatalist machine; christmas is like a hit of NO2 every year"
"Wisemen gifts for a baby on christmas: In ancient egypt gold was a gift for the afterlife, myrrh was an embalming fluid and franincense was what the phoenix used to feather its death bed for resurrection. The Jesus story is the historical equivalent to a holywood movie remake"
"A source told me they planted anthrax in a christmas card - good luck with that "
"You know how Santa comes down the chimney? Its cos he's a perverted fucker"
"Remember to spike Santas milk and cookies with rat poison so you can steal the fat fuckers stash"
"Christmas is ghey; M'kay ?"
"Santa is a phat old bastard with an unnatural disposition for other peoples children"
"Christmas carolers are musical crack babies with brains like broken records. Humour them at your own risk!"
"The real Kris Kringle was actually a skinny indonesian con-artist whose dogey scam got out of control"
"The christmas tradition of kissing under holy comes from pagan rituals where they would eat your face off if you forgot your lines and stood around like an idiot"
"If you take the star on the top of your christmas tree and fold it in the correct fashion it becomes a swastika"
"Santa cant get off unless Roudolph is watching"
"Santa will find out whose been naughty or nice. The facist c**t"
"In order to meet the Christmas demand the sweatshops feed their children speed and play dethmetal"
"Hitler liked Christmas, and he was a fascist prick!"
"The Christmas Pack contains: a vial of holy semen*; a turkey baster, a donkey, 1 nights accomodation at L'Hotel De Barn. 3 Wise men sold seperately *suitable for virgins only"
"The Christmas Spirit: buy some crap for someone who doesnt even need it"
"Every time you buy a christmas present Satan stabs one of your ancestors"
"Christmas carols are infact well crafted psychological attacks.
9/10 orphans prefer a knee to the groin to the words 'dashing through the snow'"
"Flying reindeer are fueled by the souls of dead babies"
"Santas 'elves' are asian sweat shop kids cunningly disguised with silly hats"
"Dont let santa touch your children - he cannot be trusted"
"On his whirlwind present deliverying sprint around the earth Santa usually flogs around 300 Reigndeers to death"
"Santas beats off onto christmas cake"
"When opening christmas presents; stop; smile; and remember the 8yo sweat shop kids who made it"
"Mrs Kringle is actually a cross dressing career criminal"
"Santas elves molested my baby"
"Son, we live in a world that has a christmas myth, and that myth has to be guarded by men with words. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Senior Moderators? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for your childhood fantasies, and you curse the anti-christmas league. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know."
- Raz, President of the Bluelight Anti-Christmas League
"Excerpt from 'American Phycho': As a child I remember being told there really was no Santa; I tortured my first squirrel the very next day"
"Scientists discover contents of eggnog found to be ... 'suspicious' "
"News Flash: Christmas cake found to cause incest"
"Christmas: What a load of shit"
"Captains Log 2134: Just nuked some crazy fucker on a sleigh out of the sky. Looks like its venison for dinner lads"
"Due to shortage of funds the Anti-Christmas League propaganda dept has closed its door until further notice. Why do people keep donating to christmas kids funds? - heathens!"
"Buy Jesus a present for his birthday; make sure you check pillreports for good street Myrrh"
"Buy Jesus a present for his birthday; make sure you check pillreports for good street Myrrh"
"Santa cant get off unless he stabs one of his elves in the face"
"When you cant find the right present and settle for crap; dont worry the person is expected to lie and say its great"
"The simple but hypnotic effect of Christmas lights are designed to put the viewer into a mild stupor whilst capitalism sneaks up behind you and slams your ass repeatedly with debt"
"Santa douches with your christmas socks"
"Christmas ... Just so retail doesnt get it easy all year round"
"Why is Santas bag red? The 'nice' children get presents; the 'naughty' ones have to give up a litre of blood to fuel the posessed reindeer"
"Christmas 2005. The birthday of an invisible man in the sky or commercialisation of a fat guy who gives presents to children. You decide in this battle to the death!"
"Ever wondered how reindeers can fly? Lets just say its not legal and your mum wouldnt approve and leave it at that"
"The Pro-Christmas League created the Christmas myth as a means to discriminate against everyone who wasnt a big fat white guy. Ever seen what most rich people look like?"
"Our accurate historical accounts state that Ghandi once said: 'Christmas is leik totally the gehy mutherfucker. You dig?"
"If Santa and Jesus had a wrestling match to see who owns Christmas ... The Coke a Cola company would still win"
"The tradition of putting a 6 pence into Christmas pudding originated from the repeated assisination attempts by corrupt English politicians"
"My earliest childhood memories of christmas was of my brother getting a cool red fire engine that had flashing lights. It was heaps better than my present; which is probably why I do drugs"
"I dont see Jesus celebrating my birthday!"
"To be true to capitalism you should feel warm and fuzzy when discarding Christmas lunch leftovers. Imagining thousands of staving Ethiopian children watching you is unpatriotic"
"Christmas shopping: Show how much you care by making the rich people richer"
"News Flash: Flying sleigh busted trying to get out of Singapore with 10kilo of heroin in reindeer anal cavity. 'No more hohoho for this fat bastard' says head of police"
"Recent clinical trials have proven that singing christmas carols makes you a dweeb"
"Reindeer crack proven to make noses glow"
"Christmas gives you nasal cancer"
"Opening of Christmas presents at a young age linked to Obsessive Masturbation Disorder"
"Christmas alone: The dark room, a lonely unconnected soul, the light of others' dreams makes deeper shadows of your life, the compulsory pity that bites into your reality, the illusion of hope shattered by a world that celebrates despite you"
"Recent studies have shown that adult psychosis can be traced back to finding out the non-existence of Santa"
"I saw mummy kissing santa-clause - The dirty home-wrecker!"
"To the capatalist machine; christmas is like a hit of NO2 every year"
"Wisemen gifts for a baby on christmas: In ancient egypt gold was a gift for the afterlife, myrrh was an embalming fluid and franincense was what the phoenix used to feather its death bed for resurrection. The Jesus story is the historical equivalent to a holywood movie remake"
"A source told me they planted anthrax in a christmas card - good luck with that "
"You know how Santa comes down the chimney? Its cos he's a perverted fucker"
"Remember to spike Santas milk and cookies with rat poison so you can steal the fat fuckers stash"
"Christmas is ghey; M'kay ?"
"Santa is a phat old bastard with an unnatural disposition for other peoples children"
"Christmas carolers are musical crack babies with brains like broken records. Humour them at your own risk!"
"The real Kris Kringle was actually a skinny indonesian con-artist whose dogey scam got out of control"
"The christmas tradition of kissing under holy comes from pagan rituals where they would eat your face off if you forgot your lines and stood around like an idiot"
"If you take the star on the top of your christmas tree and fold it in the correct fashion it becomes a swastika"
"Santa cant get off unless Roudolph is watching"
"Santa will find out whose been naughty or nice. The facist c**t"
"In order to meet the Christmas demand the sweatshops feed their children speed and play dethmetal"
"Hitler liked Christmas, and he was a fascist prick!"
"The Christmas Pack contains: a vial of holy semen*; a turkey baster, a donkey, 1 nights accomodation at L'Hotel De Barn. 3 Wise men sold seperately *suitable for virgins only"
"The Christmas Spirit: buy some crap for someone who doesnt even need it"
"Every time you buy a christmas present Satan stabs one of your ancestors"
"Christmas carols are infact well crafted psychological attacks.
9/10 orphans prefer a knee to the groin to the words 'dashing through the snow'"
"Flying reindeer are fueled by the souls of dead babies"
"Santas 'elves' are asian sweat shop kids cunningly disguised with silly hats"
"Dont let santa touch your children - he cannot be trusted"
"On his whirlwind present deliverying sprint around the earth Santa usually flogs around 300 Reigndeers to death"
"Santas beats off onto christmas cake"
"When opening christmas presents; stop; smile; and remember the 8yo sweat shop kids who made it"
"Mrs Kringle is actually a cross dressing career criminal"
"Santas elves molested my baby"
"Son, we live in a world that has a christmas myth, and that myth has to be guarded by men with words. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Senior Moderators? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for your childhood fantasies, and you curse the anti-christmas league. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know."
- Raz, President of the Bluelight Anti-Christmas League
Raz
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2002
- Messages
- 7,330
^^^Dude, you rock so hard. 
Kids, it's all over for another year....I got some truly hideous shirts out of it and I got to cop shit for a)avoiding fake platitudes from the family members with whom I normally hold a mutual policy of "let's just avoid each other cause it's better that way" and b)daring to suggest that maybe you should buy a present for someone because you like them, and not just because they bought you something.
This year around I wanted to donate all my old comics (read 1000+) to like the childrens' hospital or an orphanage or something because I can't be arsed taking them all to Sydney with me in a week. Apparently I'm fucked in the head because Christmas isn't really about bringing happiness to those less fortunate than yourself, and I should sell them for any last bit of money I can get. I still haven't heard the last of that one...
Oh yeah, Christmas is awesome.
PS mods feel free to close this anytime now. Thanks for indulging me.
Kids, it's all over for another year....I got some truly hideous shirts out of it and I got to cop shit for a)avoiding fake platitudes from the family members with whom I normally hold a mutual policy of "let's just avoid each other cause it's better that way" and b)daring to suggest that maybe you should buy a present for someone because you like them, and not just because they bought you something.
This year around I wanted to donate all my old comics (read 1000+) to like the childrens' hospital or an orphanage or something because I can't be arsed taking them all to Sydney with me in a week. Apparently I'm fucked in the head because Christmas isn't really about bringing happiness to those less fortunate than yourself, and I should sell them for any last bit of money I can get. I still haven't heard the last of that one...
Oh yeah, Christmas is awesome.
PS mods feel free to close this anytime now. Thanks for indulging me.
Mary Poppins
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2004
- Messages
- 6,529
I might give everyone a day or so to get their post-christmas-anti-christmas sentiments off their chest...
then it's no more anti-christmas until next...christmas!
then it's no more anti-christmas until next...christmas!
silvia saint
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2002
- Messages
- 3,869
tough break, sorry to hear about your loss.
the day of the year it's acceptable to go overboard with alcohol and i didn't touch a drop. seeing how it was my first sober day in months, it's doing my head in somewhat just thinking about it. er, i think i need a drink.
the day of the year it's acceptable to go overboard with alcohol and i didn't touch a drop. seeing how it was my first sober day in months, it's doing my head in somewhat just thinking about it. er, i think i need a drink.
m4dd0g
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2005
- Messages
- 3,663
Sorry to hear about that magpi.
My christmas interaction consisted of a 10min phone call, a few generic 'merry christmas' txts and some random MSN
Now peoples, remember to celibrate all the non-christmas days harder than everyone else. If for no other reason than spite
My christmas interaction consisted of a 10min phone call, a few generic 'merry christmas' txts and some random MSN
Now peoples, remember to celibrate all the non-christmas days harder than everyone else. If for no other reason than spite
breakyaself
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 15, 2005
- Messages
- 1,244
er?
Raz, I would like to thank you for your xmas sms'. It was very... XMAS like
Raz, I would like to thank you for your xmas sms'. It was very... XMAS like
Raz
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2002
- Messages
- 7,330
^^^Bah. It was "non-denominational gift-giving day" sms. I'm not completely soulless.
magpi, that sucks about your friend dude...it bites so much to have to cope with tragedy in your life when the whole rest of the world is telling you to smile inanely and not ruin everybody else's holiday; that's really a lot of the reason I started this thing in the first place, not to be a bitter prick and deny people their right to be happy, but just to say that it should be okay to not wanna be a part of that. It's okay to be miserable sometimes, and it sucks that you're always expected to justify it around christmas time...
Anywho, it's all over for another year - I guess this can be closed down anytime y'all like, mods..
magpi, that sucks about your friend dude...it bites so much to have to cope with tragedy in your life when the whole rest of the world is telling you to smile inanely and not ruin everybody else's holiday; that's really a lot of the reason I started this thing in the first place, not to be a bitter prick and deny people their right to be happy, but just to say that it should be okay to not wanna be a part of that. It's okay to be miserable sometimes, and it sucks that you're always expected to justify it around christmas time...
Anywho, it's all over for another year - I guess this can be closed down anytime y'all like, mods..